Action & Reactions
by Ghs
Summary: Edward is that kind of guy that has it all. Money, looks and a loving girlfriend he once cared for. It's been almost two years and only when they're away for the summer he realizes he loves her. Now the problem is the girl waiting for him back home. Tanya
1. Chapter 1

EPOV

"Bella, come here!" I yelled looking over my shoulder to see where the hell she had gone to. We had agreed on watching movies and that was what I'd been doing all night but she seemed to be kind of hyper. She wouldn't stay sitting for more than two minutes, she had been prancing around for the last couple hours which was so unlike her but I still enjoyed it a bit.

The problem was I had no idea where she was right now.

Well, that and the fact that my bubbly girlfriend was drunk.

Since our vacations were nearly over she decided she will drink, just a bit, she had said. I let her only because she had shown me one of those little bottles that were always on the mini bars in hotels, but now I saw there were around six of those bottles lying empty on the counter of the kitchen. I had no idea where the hell she had found those or why she wanted to drink, she never did and she wouldn't let me when I was out with her so, what the fuck?

"Bella!" I yelled up the stairs of the chalet we'd been staying the last couple months.

We all lived in Forks, WA just a couple blocks away. Before then my family had lived in Chicago but a sudden increase in criminalities had sent my mom into a paranoiac stage where I wouldn't be able to even go out in the front porch, so Dad decided it was time for a move.

Ever since then, mine and Bella's family had been close. Esme had met Renée in a pottery class, I think. Then Carlisle and Charlie became partners; I don't know how a Chief of Police and a Surgeon Chief can be related but they had their own businesses in which I had no interest. I had never asked and Carlisle had never told me, we were both rather sure what path I wanted to take with my life. And from then the story becomes rather dull for the next few years.

Despite what everyone might think about families being close, Bella and I never got along, actually. She was an acquaintance more than anything. I don't know about Renée and Charlie back then but at least my parents were rather enthusiastic about the idea of Bella and me being a couple which just didn't make any sense, we were so different, and I hadn't wanted a relationship at the time. I was fifteen, I had basically just begun to see girls that way and, not to offend her old self or anything but she wasn't that appealing either.

She was that kind of girl that everyone knew could be quite a sight if she just decided to put bit of an effort on it but she didn't. She wore brackets, her hair was all curly and messy, her eyes always covered with round thick glasses, wearing clothes that seemed to at least be three sizes bigger than hers but the worse problem was that she was always grouchy with her nose deep in a book, not bothering with a social life.

Our families every year had vacations together, no matter where we were going or for how long, we would just go together and during that time I'd talk to her more than usual but she was still her reserved usual self so that was pretty much about it. Needless to say the year she didn't come I was surprised and slightly disappointed since I'd be the only representation of this generation of that cruise. That was what I had thought, at least.

She went to a summer camp, they told me and I was again surprised. How could such an introvert girl go away to spend whole six weeks away from her comfort zone just for it to be filled with unknown nosy people? I thought about it no longer than couple hours before I went to the main foyer and began getting in troubles, not intentionally but it was just like troubles followed me. Troubles being the key word for females, I even remember this one time that a dad had found me making out with his daughter and literally pulled me by my ear, he was a preacher, I think. That being just one of the many anecdotes of that trip.

When we got back home Bella was still on her camp, it had been out of the country so she would be arriving two weeks after I began classes, I didn't care much though. Since I was beginning High School my parents decided to give me a credit card because supposedly I was mature enough to understand the 'Just in case of an emergency' warning and I was, but through that summer I had discovered that the slight rush of adrenaline that I found on getting in trouble was quite enjoyable so, few weeks before school I bought and old car to fix it myself and eventually use it, but the parents didn't found that funny even though I never got grounded.

After that, when I had managed to get it to run, I jumped into the front seat and speed away just to found that I hadn't repaired the breaks, which ended on a visit to the ER and cast on wrist and leg. The 'What's wrong with you?' speeches began but I couldn't care less. Needless to say my relationship with them was mostly lost. I was the problem boy, you could say and, honestly, if I didn't go to jail during that time was because Charlie appreciated me as his best friend's/partner's son.

Surprisingly the cast was quite a good way to meet people and apparently it had been caused by and accident on my bike or cliff diving, even the seniors were talking about me! I was having the time of my life, girls wanted to go out with me, men wanted me to join sports teams.

But then the second Wednesday the spotlight changed abruptly to an apparently Italian girl that was new in school, girls were talking about making her join the cheer team, boys wanted to ask her out which immediately made girls jealous. I was slightly disappointed but then I decided that I wanted the spotlight, I liked it, I needed it, so I would ask that girl out and maybe cause a few more problems through the year to keep it on me.

I hadn't seen her though, until the end of the week, she was beautiful but there was something wrong. The Italian girl's eyes were that shade of brown I had secretly admired the last decade, the Italian girl was Bella.

I don't know what the hell was in the water of wherever she went but she was breathtaking. Her hair was straight with soft curls at the end, I saw she was no wearing brackets anymore as she smiled tightly at a guy, her glasses were far more sophisticate and actually looked good and she wasn't dressing as a whore but her clothes consisted on skirts, leggings, tight jeans and things that flattered her figure rather than disfigure her which was what her old clothes did.

It didn't surprise me though, I always knew Bella would clean up rather nicely but she hadn't changed just physically, her attitude was different. She still loved reading, as she always carried a novel in top of her textbooks, her grades were still straight A's but there was something about the way she acted that just called your attention. It might have been the way she walked, the way she portrayed herself, even the way she talked! But something major had changed through summer that gave space to this new Bella that rejected boy after boy.

I decided I wouldn't date her then, our families were bound to be close like, forever and I didn't need Esme even more disappointed for breaking her best friend's daughter little inexperienced heart. Eventually she became a cheerleader, peer pressure mostly, and I got into the soccer team, the longing of the spotlight still present. All through that year I actually became friends with Bella, not close ones but friends nonetheless since we frequented the same social circles. At the same time I found that my passion of sports, swimming mostly, was beyond that longing of the spotlight. I also dated a lot, drank, smoked, to sum it all up I did every single thing Carlisle and Esme always told me not to. There was a time that I got speeches of up to three hours, weekly! I didn't care, I would nod and hum, but I never listened.

Next summer we went to a vineyard in California that was an hour ago from the beach. Bella was quite a sight tanned and in a swimsuit, I might add, and since she was a lot more outgoing we began talking and hanging out more so, when guys approached her and she didn't reject them right away as she did with every guy back in Forks I felt angry, disappointed and later on I realized I was jealous which brought me to the conclusion that I actually liked her.

I wouldn't do anything about those 'feelings' until later on when she actually went out with a guy and even though she considered the guy nothing more than a fling I was still possessed by the green envy monster. When summer ended she didn't seem depressed or somehow down because it was over so I made my approach.

On the first weeks of school I asked her to go to the movies with me, surprisingly she accepted and not two weeks later we were like, official. The twentieth I had asked her to be my girlfriend, and the early hours of the twenty-one my mom was hugging me, jumping, and making such a huge fuzz about it. Yes, I was happy with it, but I still had to play it cool. I was just the eye candy dating the hottest girl on school, which was expected at some point. Renée approved of me; Charlie was adamant to it but still wouldn't voice it.

It didn't last long though, the happiness, the fuzz, the attention, everything disappeared and even the attention I was used to, before Bella, disappeared. Girls wouldn't look at me twice; boys wouldn't always invite me to parties. Now everything seemed to be focused on my studies, sports or my girl.

Between the second and the third month I realized that whatever I had felt for Bella vanished, and the day I had planned on breaking it off with her my dad knocked my door peaking his head in my room.

"Going out with Bella tonight?" He had asked as I ran my hand through my hair in front of the mirror, I hummed my response. "I wanted to talk to you, son." I frowned; he hadn't called me son in at least two years. I saw him sat on the edge of my bed through the reflection of the mirror; I leaned onto the edge of my desk to face him.

"Yeah? What did I do know?" I asked warily, the most I had done was a bottle of beer and heavily making out with Bella on a couch in that same party and neither of those things were likely to be heard by him.

"That's the thing, Edward. You hadn't done anything." He extended his hands with a set of keys. "Here, the keys of the garage and your car." My eyes widened as I recognized the set of keys, eagerly taking them from him as I handed them on my hand as if they were a baby. "I know you still want to fix it. And I trust you not to ruin it this time."

"Thanks, Dad." I said honestly, he shrugged.

"Personally, I think that Bella has done some good for you. I'm proud of you, Edward. I'm proud you chose her and that you've changed your ways." I couldn't look up at him again after that.

And later that night I wouldn't break up with Bella either.

"Yeah?" She yelled bringing me back to the present, jumping on one foot out of the room while pulling one of those Ugg boots on the other. When she was two steps away from plain surface she tripped over the air and end up into my arms which I had tightened far more than necessary, she looked up at me sheepishly smiling. "Hi," She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me, it had been nearly two years since I've been kissing her but these last couple weeks it had felt different and I knew why.

My feelings for Bella had grown back and became much stronger than the last time, it scared me but she was already my girlfriend and well… I knew she loved me.

"Where are you going?" I asked after drawing out the kiss for as long as I could. I had noticed she had changed her clothes.

"Out!" She hollered and moved her hands from my hair to grab one of mine that were on her hips. "And you're coming with me!" She pulled me to the main door obviously forgetting I was wearing only sweatpants.

"Oh, Bella! Are you stoned, too? Charlie is going to kill me!"

"No! Silly, where I would get the weed?" She said tapping my nose with her finger.

"I don't know, maybe the same place you got the buzz!" She giggled kissing me chastely before continued dragging me through the foyer. "Bella, we're not going out!" I said pulling on her arm to stop her.

"Aw, why not?" She pouted.

"Because I do believe our parents made it very clear that we should stay here." She smiled mischievously and stepped into me pressing her body to mine, my breath hitched and her smile grew.

"Oh, I like good boy Eddie." She said seductively and pressed her lips to mine, sucking the lower one between hers. I groaned and she smiled against my lips. "Let's go!" She bounced to the door leaving me there all hot and bothered. I went to my room to change and when I came back she was waiting for me outside dancing on the front yard. I wrapped an arm around her waist kissing her cheek as I began walking her down the sidewalk.

We walked for a long time, and many blocks, in silence. It seemed to me that Bella was finally letting out the alcohol from her system as she cuddled closer to me and wrapped both her arms around my torso. We remained like that for a while and I was actually enjoying it until she ran in front of me to a headlight and swung around it.

"What are you doing?" I asked chuckling as she began swaying her hips dancing to imagined music and motioned me to her with her finger.

"We are in the city of love! Let's enjoy it!" I closed the distance grabbing her hand and raising it over her head so she could spin around. "Come on Edward! How many couples our age can be in Paris? And you wanted to stay watching movies!" I looked at her and she just looked so cute, with her hat and scarf covering most of her head barely revealing any more than her bright smile and the spark in her eyes, and I couldn't help the guilt that crept into me.

"I love you." I blurted out and for the first time, I meant it. She stopped bouncing on her feet and smiled sweetly at me.

"You do realize that is the first time you say the actual words?" She asked still smiling. Mostly I answered her with 'Me too's or 'I know's or just by kissing her but I was sure I had said the words before, I couldn't have been that much of a prick.

"What? No!" She nodded and I sighed. _Yeah, Cullen you're that much of a prick._ "Whatever, I do. I love you." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me passionately in the lonely sidewalk. I kissed her back with all I had to prove her I meant it, to make her see that this time I was putting an effort on this.

This time I was serious about her.

I'm not quite sure what changed in the past two months but I guess being in the City of Love, as she had just said, might have affected my perspective on things. This year since we were older and becoming Seniors our parents had let us wander around more freely and by ourselves, so that gave me a bunch of time to spend with her, time that usually I'd pretend to be with her while my mind went somewhere else.

Two months.

That's all it had taken me to fall in love with her. And I've been with her almost for the last two years, if only I had given her enough attention, the attention she deserved, at the beginning this could have been great, perfect! Rather than the usual chore it was to me.

Clean your room.

Do your bed.

Pick up your laundry.

Do your homework.

Don't be late.

Don't stay up until too late.

_Go and play your perfect boyfriend role._

Now that I come to think about it, it was just so sick. I shouldn't have stayed with her just because it pleased Carlisle and Esme. After all I was the one that ruined my relationship with them; Bella had nothing to do with it. As soon as that thought ended I felt guilty and my kiss turned desperate, needy.

This time I didn't specifically felt guilty about staying with her while not caring this time I felt guilty about what I did while that time.

In Forks High couples passed and passed except mine and Bella's. We were fine, stable and _happy_. The guys talked and talked about their new acquisition of the weekend while the only thing I had done that weekend was either swimming my brains out or spend time with Bella. It frustrated me to no end, I didn't want the relationship I was in and I didn't necessarily wanted new flings every week but, at the time, it seemed better.

I couldn't have it though, after that talk with Dad came others, much others, from him and Mom about how I was growing up into a man, how much commitment was needed to make a relationship work at such a _young _age and how it showed my responsibility. The same old story of the problem boy being saved by a girl was repeating all over again in front of their eyes, they thought. But, as cruel as it may sound, I was miserable. I didn't want to be with her and as time passed, her friends got more into her skin and the noisier, the more annoying she became.

During this time we fought a lot and spent whole days not really talking beyond what was socially necessary. At some point it even seemed to me that she was into this relationship for the same reasons I was, or slightly similar at least. That's what I thought until after one specific fight over her being so bitchy which wasn't really true, she was just an average girlfriend. Any girl would have been worried if her boyfriend only gave her tight smiles and curt nods. I just wasn't going to admit that.

We hadn't really talked for three weeks, bottling up feelings one would say but for me it was some kind of relief. But one day I was climbing into my car and before I could speed away I saw her walking my way through the rear-view mirror. She went all 'I'm sorry, I'm just afraid to loose you' on me and in her eyes, that no longer held that spark I used to like, I noticed she was saying the truth. She cared, and all that time she must have been upset about us fighting while I was actually relieved thinking that this time it might end us.

Add that to the need of my parents' approval and I just couldn't break up with her.

I was still not happy about it. I hated to say it but I had stayed with her for pity, in my twisted plan to somehow fix up my life somehow I had made her fall for me and leaving her would only hurt her. So this time I acted, I really did. I was a lovely, caring, attentive boyfriend but as soon as she would turn her head the other side my smile would fade and a sigh was escaping my lips.

Then Tanya came around.

She started in our school mid-year and she wasn't prettier than Bella, but she didn't hold my attention any longer. It all started friendly and, in fact, she was one of Bella's closest friends but it just seemed my eyes were glued to her and she was always looking back with that sultry smile on her lips.

She flirted with me, despite being Bella's friend, would take good use of any chance at touching me and made very clear in several occasions how much she wanted me. Eventually I gave in.

Truth be told, I don't remember the first time it happened. I had been at a party I refused to miss it even if Bella was staying on her house, I drank as I hadn't on the last year and I woke up next day with a very naked Tanya laying next to me on a room that clearly belonged to a little girl in a house I barely recognized from the night before.

I freaked out; I hadn't planned on doing this. I had cheated on Bella. The rest of the weekend I was locked up in my room puking my guts out because of the alcohol and because I was disgusted with myself. Yes, I was not happy but that was not an excuse to do what I did, I had just ruined something I had put a big effort on faking. Bella would loathe me, my parents would be disappointed and most likely be disgusted by me and something I sadly still cared about…

My reputation would be on the floor.

The beginning of the next week caught me off guard; I expected glares, murmurs, and even few punches. But I was received as usual, bumping fists with the guys, nods to the girls, and a very happy Bella standing by her locker.

I had no idea how everything happened but I had thought that I hadn't been so discrete about it. All that week passed by and…nothing. Tanya tried talking to me but, as a coward, I always had an excuse ready. When I realized what had I done and no one had discovered it just seemed like that little something my life was missing.

And from that time up until the night before I caught the plane here I had been cheating on her. No one but two people knew of it. The one person that always had me alert, she had been Tanya's friend at one time but then they weren't anymore and coincidentally she became Bella's friend, a close one to that, and even when I had tried to be polite towards her she would openly treat me as crap, which was how I felt right now. Kissing my girl while most likely another one would be waiting for me back home.

My best friend, Felix, knew of this, too. And despite he was my best friend and trust was bound to be involved I was still surprised as to why he hadn't told Bella. It was clear as water he had feelings for Bella, strong feelings for that matter, but he never acted upon them, loyalty I guess, although in one argument as to why I was doing that to Bella he had told me.

"_You know, Edward, despite what you think she'll find out! And when that happens and she leaves you I'm going after her."_

Even now I was conscious of that, she'll eventually find out but the last couple weeks I've been thinking how to tell her myself, how to apologize, how to make her believe I _loved_ her. She wasn't a needy girl, but she asked for basics on a boy.

Respect.

Loyalty.

Trust.

Love.

Which were what every girl should ask for a man. I had failed on all of them at some point and in ones they had been a constant failure. So, I had no idea how to break it off with Tanya and making Bella believe I was sorry, wanted to start again with her, with no personal rewards involved. I wanted to, this time, have an actual relationship with her.

Lost in my thoughts I had pushed her into the headlight she had been swinging around earlier, my mouth on her neck while her hands were gripping my hair tightly. My hand wandered down her side and I curled it around her knee to hitch her leg up my hip, she brought my face back to hers and I ground into her groaning at the sensations the friction gave me at the same time a little sound of pleasure escaped her lips.

We weren't usually like this, in fact, this is the most we had ever done and if I'm being honest with myself I wasn't planning to change that any time soon but during this trip many things had changed and I had just realized how much I wanted her in that way, and soon.

As I went back to attack her neck she let out these little sounds that were making me ground harder into her who, in response, made her grip my hair tighter and I'm sure that hadn't I been so focused on her it would have hurt. A French-accented voice came from behind me yelling us to break apart, I groaned but obliged rather conscious of what I had been doing to my girlfriend in front of a residential building. Bella was looking down but I could see her cheeks achieve a whole new level of red I had never seen on her, but I liked it and I was planning on bringing it out soon, really soon.

I stepped back once, still facing away from the man that kept yelling at us that we had no moral values whatsoever and that he should call the authorities and so on and so forth. When he finally left muttering how that in his time would have never been seen I idly wondered when he was born at the same time Bella looked up at me with a sly smile on her face.

"Let's go back to the chalet." She took my hand in her and began walking back to the direction we had come from with me behind her slightly confused as if I had made up the double meaning to that little sentence or if she had really meant it like that. Still not completely sure what she had meant I brought myself out of my stupor and wrapped my arms around her waist from behind nuzzling my head into her neck placing soft kisses there as we kept walking rather uncomfortably but, whatever.

When we finally got there it was as if the 'magic' of the moment was just lost and as we took our jackets off and placed them on the closet I realized with joy that I was not the only disappointed one at it.

"Still up for that movie?" I asked trying to break the completely unnecessary tension that surrounded us. She hummed looking to the living room and frowned before her eyes lighted up and turned to me.

"Upstairs?" She asked tilting her head to the side.

"Sure thing, Beautiful." She blushed at the endearment and I smiled wishing that it was just a couple shades darker as I had seen before. "Can you grab something to eat and drink or something?" She nodded smiling and began walking to the kitchen.

"Popcorn or last night's pizza?" She asked turning around and walking backwards awaiting my response, and a year before I would have been worried about her killing herself but cheering and jumping and dancing and all that stuff had actually lessened her clumsiness to almost normal but now I wish she would fall more often so that I could catch her. Like earlier.

"Whatever you're having plus a coke." She turned still smiling and disappeared into the kitchen. I went upstairs and took my shirt off replacing it with a flannel one that I used to sleep when Bella was around, not that neither of us minded but Esme thought it wasn't appropriate for me to be around the house half naked as if a shirt would make any difference, Bella had seen me shirtless countless times as so have done the rest of the people in this house although I wouldn't appreciate it if Carlisle or Charlie hang around the house like that.

I was standing in front of the DVD player putting the movie when Bella walked into the room balancing two glasses of coke in one hand and a bowl of popcorn in the other, I rushed to her and took everything from her hands placing it on the bedside table before turning to her once more and cradling her face with my palms before leaning in and whispering I loved her before kissing her.

She pressed herself to me and began running her hands up and down my chest, I moved one hand to the back of her head angling my head to deepen the kiss while the other went to the small of her back pressing her to me, despite the almost non-existent distance between us her hands found their ways beneath my shirt and as soon as her nails were scraping my skin I pulled apart time enough to throw the shirt over my head.

Soon enough we were on the bed making out as if there was no tomorrow, our hands exploring each other's body. At some point I caught myself with my hand on her thigh, way to high on her thigh, beneath her dress but she wasn't stopping me, she was even moving her leg higher on my hip. I wasn't sure how far we'd get tonight but I was wary when I tried to lift her dress up her hips to take it off but she brushed my wariness away when she sat and took the dress off herself before turning us so she was straddling me.

My very sexy girlfriend was sitting on top of me, wearing nothing more than black simple boyshorts and a bra that matched and I couldn't help but stare at her completely mesmerized, when I finally moved my gaze from her body to her face I saw she was blushing and biting her lip as if she was nervous, and maybe I had caused that because of all the staring.

"You're so perfect, Bella." I said bringing my hands to her waist stroking her stomach with my thumbs. "Come here," I said moving my hand to her back and pushing her closer but with the action she slid lower on my body and stopped right on my groin making me involuntarily thrust my hips toward hers, her head falling to my shoulder where the moan she let out was muffled. Instinctively Bella rocked her hips rather slowly taking the feeling to a complete new level.

But then it kicked in.

My eyes, which had been closed at the force of the sensations Bella was bringing up from within me, popped open and I swallowed hard as Bella turned her head to began kissing my neck. I tried to focus, God knows I did, but it eventually became too much to handle. My eyes closed again as a low guttural sound escaped my throat at which Bella rocked her hips again.

"Oh God," I muttered as I tightened my hands around her acting despite what I was about to say. "You do know where this is heading if we keep up like this?" I somehow managed to kick the words out of my mouth without them to sound as an undecipherable mumble.

"Yes," She breathed into the other side of my neck and my eyes widened surprisingly. I had never thought that sex with Bella was even a remote possibility.

"What… uh… um… Be-… Do… Agh… Are you sure?" I stuttered for around five minutes but Bella barely noticed, or decided to ignore it, as she began kissing up my jaw to my earlobe.

"I'm sure about you Edward." She had stopped kissing me to turn and look at me in the eye before she said it and the words were so full of passion that I got weak somehow as her eyes stared right into mine. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I whispered afraid to ruin the moment. I pushed myself to a sitting position and with one hand resting on the mattress behind me I supported both of our weights the other one was on the side of her neck as I kissed her softly even though the fire she had ignited in me, just with the merely thought of _being_ with her was, still there and soon again I was on top of her looking down as she fidgeted with my belt buckle.

* * *

"Hey, you okay?" I asked Bella as she nuzzled closer to my chest. I was not stupid and I had gone gentle with Bella, but I was still kind of worried I had hurt her.

"Better than okay," She lifted her head enough to flash me a smile that left me smiling as I lifted her head again and kissed her. She fell asleep few minutes later and suddenly the room felt empty, despite I could clearly feel and hear Bella's breathing. I felt as if this, what had just happened between us, was wrong.

And somehow it was, because there was a reason I had wanted to stop it from happening in the first place, but I let myself get carried away selfishly when I knew we shouldn't have had sex. I needed to talk to her first, tell her everything about Tanya, and then maybe if she understood me and eventually forgave me we could go back to being together.

But no, apparently it was more important to sleep with her. I mean, the first time for a girl is quite important and all and now I had to tell her and probably ruin her illusion of what our relationship had been up until this trip. Besides, I hadn't had any idea of when to tell her considering our anniversary was just a few weeks away, seven days after her birthday.

So, whenever I told her I was most likely to ruin some occasion that was supposed to be special, with my shit. But I couldn't push the subject until after her birthday, I didn't want to be lying to her for over a month more, I wanted a real chance with her and it wouldn't begin with lies and whatnot.

I also had to think of a way of getting rid of Tanya, I had never loved her or felt something at all for her besides that first attraction but that was all about it, she would let me fuck her and said nothing so I kept up with her. I know, I'm a mess and I seriously need to get my shit sorted out.

I looked down at Bella and smiled at her peaceful expression, my arm tightening around her wishing that this moment wouldn't end. I brushed the hair out of her forehead and planted a kiss there, she sighed and as I pulled back I noticed she had this little smile adorning her lips.

"I love you," She whispered into her sleep.

"I know you do, Beautiful." I said caressing her cheek with my thumb.

_I know you do, Bella. I just wish that in the long run that could be enough and you may give me another chance in which, I__ promise not to let you down and show you how much I truly love you._

"I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, since apparently around five people are actually reading this I'm going to do this...Which I personally hate.**

**However, I feel the need to thank you for reading, reviewing and putting me in alert. It completely made my day! And well...I guess I have to put this...Right?**

**It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer! I just used her characters to save me from boredom ;) (I actually have until the sixth chapter written)**

**Again, thanks. And I hope this is good : )**

**Btw..I got over 70 hits the first day, can you believe it? Because I still can't :)**

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**EPOV**

I woke up around eight and the light filtering through my room's window left me awed at the sight of my girlfriend. She was sprawled on my chest, the bare skin on her back sort of shinning in reflection of the sun, while her hair got these unique shades of a mix between red and burgundy, her soft, little hand fisted under her chin while I rested my hand in her back just for the mere want to touch her in every single possible way.

After the sun moved its position and it no longer was exactly above my window and the room went back to being slightly dim I closed my eyes and tried to think of any other moments like this that I had shared with Bella, of course not exactly the same because well, last night had been our first but something as intimate as this was to me.

I was disappointed when I pretty much came with not even one apart from a couple during the time we had just started dating. I closed my eyes wondering why in hell Bella would have put up with me through all this time, I couldn't have been that much of a boyfriend but I guess that's when Love is blind and Ignorance is Bliss make their appearances.

I wondered that if it hadn't been for my dad coming into my room that night what would have happened. Maybe I would have broken up with Bella and we could have remained friends, maybe we wouldn't have remained friends or even maybe we could have eventually gotten back together, Rosalie did that shit with her boyfriend all the time and they were fine. But in either way I really couldn't picture myself on a different situation rather than this one, I may loose Bella soon but I loved her enough to know I'd fight for her.

Soft lips were pressed against mine bringing me back from my pondering and I smiled against them, Bella smiled back still kissing me and I wrapped an arm around her waist pressing her closer as she began inching away.

"Were you leaving me already?" I asked still not opening my eyes.

"What? No, I was going to look for clothes."

"Oh, yeah. The Chief wouldn't appreciate it if he found his daughter naked in bed with a problem kid." I said kidding but her response caught me completely off-guard.

"You're not a problem kid, Edward. I wouldn't be with you if you were." I opened my eyes staring right into her soul through hers, I could tell she was saying the truth –She was just so naïve that I had been able to fool her- which nearly gave me a heart attack. Maybe she would leave me as soon as I drop the bomb, maybe she wouldn't even listen to me as I begged, and maybe…Maybe I would lose her.

I couldn't lose her, she was my life now.

I have no idea what my expression was but she frowned, her hand on my cheek. I lifted my head and kissed her desperately and I couldn't help the sudden tears that wanted to escape my eyes, but I did stopped them by shutting my eyes forcefully though as soon as I felt more threatening to come out I pushed her on her back and rolled off the bed pulling my boxers on.

"Hey, where you going?" Bella asked worriedly as she propped herself on her arms, the sheets covering her, I answered her that I'd pick up some clothes for her without a second glance back. After I had found her pyjamas drawer and walked back to the room I still hadn't calmed down so I threw them on the bed telling her that I was going to make her breakfast and not to move from the room. During these last couples months I had learned she always had yogurt with fruit for breakfast and as I was slicing the fruit Use Somebody began filling the main floor as I had apparently left my phone downstairs last night.

"Hey, 'sup man?" Felix said as I pressed the phone between my shoulder and ear. It may seem gay and all but I couldn't deny that the fact I was talking to him lightened up my mood just a bit.

"Nothing just… Nothing new."

"Aw, come on. You've got to be kidding me!"

"Seriously, Felix. Not much have been going on down here." I said smiling a bit, thinking about how much had been going on just last night.

"Oh God, Edward!" He apparently caught something on my voice as he nearly growled at me. "You're cheating on her with French girls, too?"

"What? NO! What the fuck!" I was angry, although I knew I deserved it.

"Not much have been going on down here!" He said imitating my voice, "You should have listened yourself! You had this same cocky tone you have every time you hook up with Tanya! Can't you stop it, Edward?"

"WHAT. THE. FUCK." I whispered angrily into the phone knowing very well that if I raised my voice just one bit Bella will hear it. "I'm NOT cheating on her, you bastard!" He gasped and went off again at the phone.

"OH MY GOD EDWARD! YOU SLEPT WITH HER! YOU FUCKING SLEPT WITH HER! WHAT'S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?"

"My problem!" I hissed my eyes glued to the door that gave me a peek of the last steps of the stairs. "What if I slept with Bella? Huh! She's my girlfriend! And you need to get that through you thick skull. Is not my fault you are like, obsessed with her or something."

"Obsessed! What the fuck, Edward! I, at least feel something for her while you probably just were frustrated or fucking drunk!"

"That's not it, Felix! Don't start talking about it if you know nothing!"

"Then? What is it, then?"

"That's between me and _my_ girl."

"Oh, well. Does your girl knows that there's a bitch here going all psycho because her fuck buddy AKA YOU! Went to France with his girlfriend? Huh? Does she know that?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked confused at the psycho Tanya comment although I was still pretty upset about his reaction to something he shouldn't even have known.

Besides, he had said I had this 'cocky tone' I used for Tanya and that just couldn't be right. First of all I was not going to brag about sleeping with Bella, especially to him. And second Bella was way different to Tanya and he had just implied they were the fucking same, which they weren't.

"Yes. I wouldn't be surprised if by the time you're back the entire town knows about the two of you." He said flatly and there was a slight smug edge that made me grip the knife harder.

"So?" I asked mimicking his tone.

"So? Bella is so dumping you, Edward."

"And you couldn't be happier about it, could you?" I don't really know why the hell he was my friend.

Oh, yeah. Because he wouldn't speak up.

"In fact-" He began smugly and I shut the phone closed and hit it against the counter a couple times. I took my time trying to calm myself down before I went back to Bella but it wasn't working out.

It was as if karma really wanted to bite my ass. If Tanya talked her friends would be calling Bella ASAP and I would be history. I wanted to be the one telling her, she had to hear it from me.

I walked silently up the stairs and smiled faintly at the sight in front of me. I leaned on the doorframe staring at Bella; she was with her feet by the headrest swinging them on the air while her head was over her hands that were in the air propped by her elbows. She was watching some old cartoons with a soft smile on her face, she let out a soft giggle at something before sighing and turning to the door frowning. When she saw me her eyes widened as did her smile, I smiled back and pushed myself from the door and walked towards her handing her breakfast.

I said nothing and sat behind her pulling her up and wrapping my arms around her with my forehead pressed to the crook of her neck. I could tell she was somewhat stressed about my behaviour but I honestly couldn't help it; I even think she asked me something but I couldn't be sure.

I don't know how long we stayed there. Me breathing her in while she remained unmoving facing front. She sighed heavily and stretched to put the bowl on the bedside table, she made an attempt at moving out of my grasp but I only tightened it. She huffed frustrated and wiggled out of my arms, I finally moved my arms and rested my head against the headboard with my eyes closed and actually thought she had left.

"What's wrong?" She asked irritated and I opened my eyes just to see her kneeling in front of me with her lips pursed. I shook my head and she sighed moving closer. She put her hands on my shoulders and rested her forehead against mine. "Talk to me, Edward." What was I supposed to say? Well, here's the thing, I've been cheating on you pretty much our entire relationship but now I fell in love, forgive me? "Who was on the phone?" My eyes widened. What if she hadn't heard just the phone ringing, but the whole conversation as well?

"Um, Felix." I muttered and I felt the movement on my skin as she raised an eyebrow. I curled my hands around her legs pulling her to sit on my lap.

"And that's bad?"

"Not bad. Just… He can get annoying, you know?" She hummed obviously not believing it was the reason. It had always surprised me how she could read my emotions towards everything so easily but wouldn't realize… well, about herself. "I'm sorry. I know I've been acting weird today and… Sorry?"

"Not just today." She stated and I raised my eyebrow at her. "I mean, you've been acting differently for a while. And although you're kinda pissing me off today I liked your weirdness from the other days." She ended with a shrug and her lips curling up slightly.

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"So, if I promise to be my weird-out self more often would you like me better?" I asked the side of my mouth lifting up in a smile.

"Well," she said looking up as if considering it. She looked back at me scrunching her nose. "Nah, I don't think that's possible."

"Why?" I pouted and she smiled flashing her teeth at me.

"Well, that's because I love you so I already like you pretty much. And, I couldn't love you more even if I tried."

"No matter what?" I asked my brow furrowed and my previous thoughts occupying a huge part of my mind.

"No matter what." She said with a nod.

"Forever?" I asked hopefully and thought that maybe, just maybe, things wouldn't have to be as I thought they may.

"Forever." Bella leaned and captured my lips in a kiss that if I hadn't believed her previous words the kiss would have made me. "You?" She asked pulling apart enough time to say it.

"No matter what happens, Bella. I'll always love you." My words came out a tad muffled since I refused to break the kiss to talk. She rose on her knees again kissing me more forcefully and I moved my hands to her waist putting her into a sitting position again and pulling apart.

This is it.

"Bella, there's som-" I began fully determined to tell her but was cut off by the sound of the door being opened and my father's voice.

"Kids! Come down for a while." I sighed running my hand through my hair and gripping the ends after Bella had left the room kissing me chastely once. I mean, fuck, I was about to tell her. I put on my discarded jeans and a shirt before following her down the stairs.

"Hey Dad." I said nodding at him not having realized until now that they had left last night and hadn't come back. And apparently he was the only one back.

"Son, Bella." Bella smiled at him as she came to sit on the couch following my dad into the living room. I sat on the armrest next to Bella.

"What's up?" I asked worried at his expression.

"Um, look, we have to go back before the planned." He said warily as if trying out the field.

"Before? When?" Bella asked.

"Um, today."

"Today!" I asked glancing over his head to the ancient clock that was against the wall and next to a bookshelf. It was few minutes past noon. "Why?" I asked looking back in enough time to notice he was pinching the bridge of his nose, something I had inherited from him as well.

"Your grandparent had a heart attack last night." He said flatly but quick enough to make me realize he thought he was making this new information easy on me. Bella gasped as I jumped to my feet. "He's fine now," He started again looking at me apprehensively. "But your mom was pretty shaken up by this, which I understand completely, so we thought it'd be better if we go back."

"Where's mom?"

"She just left. There weren't any more seats on that flight so she and Renée left. We're bound to follow them at four. You think you'll be ready by then?" He asked almost as if saying we better be. We both nodded but before he stood up I asked something I knew Bella must have wanted to know.

"And Charlie?"

"Oh, he's just doing some few things that need to be done before we leave." He stood up and headed into the kitchen.

"You okay?" Bella asked angling her body on the couch to face me. I nodded unsure; dad did say he was better, right?

"Yeah, I guess." I whispered shakily looking at the fabric between us. I stood up abruptly before she could say something else and dragged her along me. "If you help me pack my things up I'll carry your bags." I said as we were walking up the stairs.

"Oh, you will anyway." She said nudging me.

"True. But, please?" I said trying to give her my best puppy face more than anything trying not to think about how bad things must have been if mom couldn't have waited few hours more.

I couldn't push that thought away though. We were already on the plane, two hours into the flight. Two hours, in which I had barely looked at Bella, she noticed it and tried to talking to me but eventually gave up when my curt nods and one syllable words got the best of her. I looked to the side subtly to notice she had replaced her book with her laptop and was IMing, she had her headphones on and, now that I noticed, I could faintly register a Paramore song blasting through them.

I sighed and looked again to the other side, out the window, resting my head on my hand. I knew that whatever the situation may be with my granddad, it was not the major thing upsetting me. I still had the conversation with Felix present on my mind, not only that the simple fact of getting into this damned plane meant that my time was over. We were getting back to our normal lives and I didn't want to because lying was the biggest part of my normal life.

I looked again to Bella and she had moved so she was turned slightly to the hallway, part of her back resting against the armrest and one of her legs propped up into the seat. The change of colours in the screen caught my eye and noticed she was checking her Facebook, thing she did only when extremely bored. Now that she was looking completely the other way I stared openly at her so I noticed when she began flicking through pictures in her profile.

I appeared in most of them although I remembered just a few. There were some of us in my games, in parties, kissing, faintly smiling at the camera. Then appeared one in which, ironically enough, Felix, Tanya, Bella and I were sitting on a picnic table smiling at the camera. Next appeared one of the same day but only Bella and Felix were there laughing with each other rather than at the camera, she stopped a little bit longer than with the others or at least it seemed to me that way, but anyways it angered me.

They had been friends even before Bella and I got together, and I knew he liked her since back then but I wasn't his friend at the time and I went for it. In fact, he's my friend now because of her. He was her best guy friend or whatever so she insisted on me getting to know him.

When that happened it only became clearer his feelings towards her but I said nothing, I didn't care. But that picture had only been taken a week prior our trip and in this one she was… different. Her smile was bigger, her posture was more confidently and when she moved into the next picture, one in which they happened to be hugging, I noticed how she clung to him and her eyes were closed with a soft smile plastered on her face.

Maybe that's why Felix was certain he'd get something with Bella in case she broke up with me. Well, not in case because I knew she would, I was just hoping for her to take some time before trying to move on so I could do something to get her back with me. Again the thought of it pulled a string on me and in a matter of a second I had moved the armrest between us, making her to loose balance, and turned her to me pressing her to my side as I kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry I'm being an asshole." It seemed to me that the only thing I had done today was apologize. Apologize for things she had no idea I had done. "Is just that…"

"It's okay, Edward." She said closing her laptop and putting it next to her. "You can just talk to me, you know?" I nodded against her head and pulled her closer to me. "I'm sure your granddad is going to be okay, and whatever Felix did is probably not that bad." I slid a little down the seat as she pulled both her legs up so they were over mine.

"Yeah, anyways I'm sorry." I muttered and she shook her head against my chest and I could almost hear her eyes rolling. I smiled and turned my head to kiss her. I had to keep it short and somewhat chastely, considering that our fathers -especially hers- were just across the hallway, when what I really wanted was to kiss her as I had last night.

And I hadn't been wrong when taking that into considering since as I pulled apart I noticed that Carlisle was looking at us. I raised an eyebrow at him because, seriously, why was he watching us? He frowned and I raised a hand still questioning him but then Charlie looked up from whatever he was reading and called him, pointing something at him.

Seriously, what the fuck?

He had this weird expression as if it was the first time he saw me kissing Bella. I mean, I don't even think that Charlie would be so…weird about it and we're talking he is the father of the girl so…whatever.

The rest of the flight was pretty much spent by us sleeping since there wasn't any other thing to do and I went back to basically ignore Bella although I wouldn't stop playing with her fingers, she asked why the demeanour change again and I simply shrugged kissing the top of her head. Actually, the reason was that Carlisle wouldn't stop throwing glances at us, as if he was analyzing us or some shit and it was freaking me out. Really freaking me out.

First class or coach class, either ways an airplane seat was nothing like my bed so after Bella woke me up when we landed I pretty much forgot everything and the next morning I woke up sweating bullets and all stinky and sticky and I swore I almost threw up. No one, have had the cordiality to keep me up enough to shrug off my jacket. What was worst was that I was only sweating on one side and there was even a darker spot in the pillow. Gross.

After at least an hour later in the shower I came to my senses and realised it was not my bathroom and why I was here. I almost fell on my way out of the shower as I remembered my granddad and why we were here. Pulling my shirt over my head I went into his room and only there noticed it wasn't even eight yet. But he was up and no one was in the room with him, he was with a book in his hands, his glasses low on his nose with his back against the headrest.

"Hey, gramps." I said shyly as he looked up from his book. "How are you feeling?" I asked with only my head poked into the room. He chuckled and motioned me to come in.

"I'm fine kiddo, your mom and Lizzie _need_ to stop worrying. I'm fine." He chuckled some more as I sat on the edge of the bed. "And you? How were your vacations?" And I couldn't help the smile that crept onto my face.

"Great."

"Yeah?" He asked knowingly and I shook my head chuckling. He was the exact opposite from my dad; he was always cheerful with a joke on the tip of his tongue all the while serious when it was needed to. Carlisle, well, he barely talked and always had a serious expression on his face that made me wonder if he had ever smiled. Well, I had seen him smile but only when Mom was involved and once when he saw my car finished.

But despite that night when he told me he was proud of me, the night I had planned on breaking up with Bella, I had never heard something nice from him. With the time I had grown used to his mannerism and I knew a nod meant I had done something right, a cross of his legs that he was done with the conversation, crossing his arms meant I –especially me- had done something wrong, as if he was giving up.

I knew how he communicated himself; I just didn't like it so I barely talk to him anymore; only when addressed directly. And that was why I wanted so much to go into my granddad steps; I wanted to be like him as lame as it may sound.

"So, you still with that girl?" That's another thing; it always intrigued me how he always knew what was going through my mind. He didn't know about Tanya but he knew that, before, my relationship with Bella had meant nothing to me.

"Bella. Yeah, I'm still with her." I said pointedly, she was not just that girl.

"Two years is it?"

"Yes, in few weeks."

"So, it took you nearly two years to realize the jewel you had as a girlfriend?" My head snapped up, my eyes wide. I had said two fucking sentences about her, how could he possibly know?

"What?"

"Come on, kid, you know you can hide anything from me." I sighed running a hand through my hair looking down at my shoes. "So, why your sudden change?"

"No idea." I gave up, it was pointless. And, however, I knew he wouldn't talk about this even with my grandma.

"I guess is better late than never." He said with a shrug.

"Yeah, I guess." He squinted his eyes at me and leant back studying me, I looked to the side nervously and he finally gave up, or discovered what he was searching for in my face; most likely the latter.

"There's something else, what is it?" He asked removing his glasses and putting them on top of the book he had already discarded.

"Um…Look…Err…Have you ever, um, cheated on grandma?" His eyes widened the creases in his forehead deepening.

"No, never." He said obviously not following me but then his eyes widened, "You what!"

"Yeah," I admitted with my head resting on the palms of my hands as I pulled the ends of my hair. "And I don't know what to do!"

"Well, kid, I really don't know what to tell you. You're in deep problems."

"I know that. Thank you very much."

"You need to tell her. That's all I've got to say about it." He said and crossed his arms over his chest making me wonder if maybe that move was not only Dad's but his as well meaning he was disappointed.

"I plan to but… I don't want to loose her."

"You should have thought that before you cheated on her, she's a great girl, Edward. And, honestly, I'm surprised she have stayed with you this long when it was clear to anyone with two eyes that you didn't care about her. Anyway, I never expected you to cheat on her, Edward, and I'm positive that no matter how you tell her she won't take it lightly. I mean, was it even worth it? Because even when you didn't give a shit about her it was plain obvious you somehow respected her just for putting up with you."

"No, it was not worth it." I said cutting him off before I burst into tears in front of him. I stood up and walked out just to find Grandma outside of the door with her hand extended to the knob.

"Edward! Hello, want some breakfast?" I kissed her cheek and shook my head.

"No, I'm leaving."

"What?" She asked and I heard a 'Come on!' from inside the room. I ignored her and went downstairs to find Mom and Dad sitting on the table having breakfast.

"Edward want so-" Mom frowned as she noticed my expression. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Can I have my keys?" I asked as I approached them, we had left our cars in the garage of this house so I was really planning to leave. I don't even know why I was so upset, it was true. Maybe that was why.

"Your…What?" Mom asked bemused and Carlisle turned to me.

"Where are you going?" He asked with that monotone voice I hated right now.

"Where's Bella?" I doubt they had stayed here the night so I was probably going to wherever she was.

"Don't answer me with a question."

"I guess I'm heading home, I don't know. Now, my keys?" He groaned and searched into his pockets throwing them at my chest after he found them.

"Drive safe." He said his hand reaching to pinch his nose.

"Whatever."

* * *

I knocked for the hundredth time and then I was greeted by a sleepy Bella her eyes squinted at the light of the hallway and her brow furrowed.

"Edward?" She yawned and I tried a little smile at her.

"Hey, can I come in?" Mom had sent me the name and room number of where they were staying which I was grateful for because even in my angered state I wouldn't have called her knowing that she was asleep but I had thought that she'd be up by now.

"Um, yeah. Sure." She walked back into the room tying her hair up.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." I said walking behind her after closing the door.

"Yeah, it's okay." She turned to face me and stretched a hand for me to take, when I did so she pulled me onto the bed with her where she closed her eyes and I even thought she had fallen asleep again but after a while of me playing with a strand of her hair she talked, "Why are you here, anyway?"

"Um, I wanted to see you." I said hesitantly.

"Alright, now the truth." She opened her eyes looking up at me through her eyelashes.

"I was kinda upset. But I still wanted to see you."

"Upset? Kinda?" Oh, just leave it, please.

"Yeah. Is not even important." I knew she wouldn't leave it at that so I leaned over to kiss her to stop her questioning. It worked out even better than I thought and we ended up having sex again.

Again.

I couldn't keep up with this for long; I had to tell her the godamned true. I mean, I felt as if I was taking advantage of her but then I couldn't stop myself either. I loved my girl with every fibre of my being but I had to come clean even though it'd probably meant I'd lose her.

But I was too much of a coward and I just couldn't say it when she was lying next to me, the sheets draped around her body, as she stroked my chest with her fingertips.

"When are you going home?" I asked suddenly and she stopped the movement of her hand.

"Um, today. Why?"

"With your parents or you are driving yourself?"

"No, I'm going with them. Why?"

"I'll take you."

"What? Why?" She propped up in one elbow to look at my face.

"I'd miss you." I answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which in a sense was.

"No, Edward you're here because of your grandfather and you're staying."

"Look, you can go with me or not but either way I'm going home today. He's fine."

"Then I'm not going with you." She said stubbornly and rolled to the other side of the bed.

"That's up to you, Bella. I'm just letting you know." She didn't talk for the next hour but I knew she hadn't fall asleep. I got tired of the distance and her not talking to me so I moved closer to her. "Hey," I whispered propping myself up on my hands, one on each side of her.

"What?" She rolled on her back with an annoyed expression.

"I love you." She rolled her eyes but didn't try to hide the toothy smile that took place on her face. She raised a hand to my hair and pushed my head down to kiss me. I really didn't want to loose her. I mean it was not like I wouldn't survive without her or something because, physically, I would. I just knew my life wouldn't be the same, even when I was just pretending I knew that she was important and somehow I knew, now, that if I had broken up with her that night I would have asked her to take me back, eventually.

I just had to figure out how to make her take me back this time around.

I moved my hand underneath her and lifted her chest to be pressed up to mine; my other hand went to her leg as I moved my mouth to her neck, she let out my name in a sultry whisper and a little part of me was thankful of the interruption because I knew I wouldn't have stopped.

"Bella? We are going to the Cullen's for a while! You coming?" Renée's voice came after three knocks on the door. I rolled to my side and Bella closed her eyes, steadying her breath.

"Ehm, no mom, I'm not going." Then she turned to me and in a low voice added. "I've got the Cullen I want next to me." I smiled at her as she winked back teasingly.

"Eh, alright. But we are heading Forks right after." I sighed. Great, she's leaving.

"Hmmm, that's alright mom. Edward's going back later today." I smiled and rolled to hover over her with my eyebrow raised. 'You coming with me?' I mouthed and she nodded rolling her eyes.

"You'll check us out?" Bella frowned and pushed me off her to walk to the bathroom from where she came out with a bathrobe wrapped tightly around her. I heard muffled conversation for a while and I yawned. I rolled so my face was pressed to the mattress and closed my eyes.

I eventually heard the door being closed and something soft hitting wood but I didn't move. This bed was way too comfortable. The mattress moved with Bella's weight and she went to lay on my back her breath tickling my neck.

"So, are you going to tell me what you were upset about?" She poked her head above my shoulder to look at my face.

"It was nothing."

"Come on, tell me."

"Seriously, Bella. It was nothing. I'm not upset anymore or anything." But I'll be if you keep up with it so, please…

"Okay," She said slightly disappointed obviously noticing the irritation on my voice. I groaned at myself and moved my arms under my head and hid my face there. Bella moved from above me and a minute after I heard the shower.

_Great, Cullen. Make her mad at you as if __she doesn't have enough other reasons to be._

I got dressed and turned back into the position I'd been before. I waited until I couldn't hear the water anymore but she didn't come out. I turned on the television and after a while of watching cartoons she still wouldn't come out. I got worried and went to the bathroom as I was about to turn the knob I heard Bella talking.

I couldn't make out what she was saying, not a bit, so I pressed my ear to the door and still, nothing. I knocked once before opening the door right away and poking my head inside.

"Yeah?" Bella asked with an eyebrow raised and turned back to the phone. "Wait a sec." She was sitting on the edge of the sink leaning against the wall with her legs propped up to her chest, she was only with the towel wrapped around.

"What are you doing?"

"Um…On the phone. Obviously." She held up the phone and I nodded. Yes, she was mad.

"Hey, I'm sorry. But it really was-" I had completely come into the room and was approaching her but she stopped me.

"Still on the phone, Edward." She said holding it up again. I stood there staring at her and she didn't look away, she held my gaze until the person on the other line talked and we both heard it. "Well?" I stared at her not believing the reaction she was having. She sighed frustrated and motioned for me to leave.

I groaned and ran a hand through my hair. I left the bathroom without closing the door hoping to get a hint of whom she was talking to but I was way too angered to notice. I walked back to the bed to retrieve my phone and on my way out I heard her laughing. Fucking laughing. I threw the door as I shrugged my denim jacket on my way to the elevator.

I drove back to the house because I had nowhere else to go but refused to go inside. When I parked on the porch I went through every possible place I thought what I was looking for may be and in the compartments on the back seats door I found them.

I hadn't done it in a while but I knew it soothed me and right fucking now that was exactly what I needed. I stretched over the seat to light the cigarette up and hold it in my hand as I went to the side of the house. I leant against the wall sliding down it and lifting my legs a bit so they weren't completely over the ground. I brought it up to my lips and closed my eyes as I inhaled.

I stayed there for I don't know how long. Eyes closed, breathing in, breathing out, not thinking, fingers drumming to non-existent music and yeah, it felt good but I was still pretty angry. At her and myself. At her because yes, she was right to be slightly upset but that? That was overreacting. And to myself just because I hated myself and all the shit I had done.

My phone began buzzing in my pocket bringing me up from my nicotine induced daze. "Yeah?"

"Where are you? Um, you still going to Forks?" Bella's voice didn't reveal much whether she was still angry or not. But she was right, I had told her I'd take her, I'll have to take her.

"Yeah, be there in fifteen." I hang up and took my time pressing the cigarette to the wet grass and turning it in my fingers. I stood up and kicked it, along the other discarded ones, into the bushes and went into the house to pick up my suitcase. Thankfully I only crossed my dad and the only thing he did was raise an eyebrow at me taking off his reading glasses. I ignored him and put the suitcase in the back row and went to the hotel.

When I got there I parked right in front of it taking the place of a cab and texting Bella I was downstairs already. I saw her as she came out through the double automatic doors struggling with her suitcases and a hand bag. I would have gotten out to help her out but one of the workers did it so I only unlocked the trunk and while the guy put the suitcases carefully Bella threw down her other bag hastily.

"Hi." I said as she was putting on her seatbelt without even taking a glance in my way.

"Hello."

Two hours.

Two hours. Zero words.

Two hours. Zero Words. Hundredth percent frustration.

My fingers drummed against the wheel at a pace much quicker than the music I was listening to. She had put on her headphones after she spoke the only damned word she had said since she saw me and left me completely tense and frustrated.

During the first hour she'd cast glances at me when I'd hit my hand against the wheel, or my hand came up to my hair on when I began moving my leg quickly enough to make you doubt if I was even moving it. I guess she then got used to it and hadn't turned her eyes from either her iPod or her phone or the window.

I really wondered if she wasn't feeling the tension or if she was ignoring it because I could swear it was suffocating me. I shrugged off my jacket and threw it to the back seat. Out of the corner of my eye I caught Bella sniffing the air and making a face of disgust.

"You've been smoking." She stated as she crossed her legs and angled her body to the window.

"And?" I asked hesitantly, my hand unconsciously moving up to my jean pocket where the rest of the box was.

"You don't smoke."

"Sometimes, yes, I do." She shook her head and smiled to herself turning back on the music on her iPod.

"Just great." I knew it wasn't meant for me to hear but her music was really loud and she wouldn't notice that my low was not the same as hers.

Now I didn't only feel bad because of this morning but now I felt bad because the fact I had smoked upset her and I hadn't even known that. She didn't say anything else until we were going down the curve to her house. And only thing she said was to please drop the suitcases tomorrow, she was tired today.

I rolled down the passenger window and leant over the seat to look at her. "Bye!" She waved a hand without looking back or somehow indicating it was to me. "Hey Bella?" She stopped and turned to face me with her eyes narrowed.

"What?"

"I love you." I said simply at least expecting a 'Thanks for the ride' but no. She narrowed her eyes at me and shook her head. I waited for her to get into the house but she didn't look back. Grudgingly I drove back to my house and paced around my room with my hand glued to my hair as my gaze was to the floor.

Now, I really had no idea why she was this upset. Okay, I get it, she want me to trust her. Good, I can do that. She doesn't want me to smoke? I'll stop. But there was something that told me there was something else, something I couldn't pinpoint what was. No matter the past three hours I've been trying to figure it out.

I ordered a pizza and ate it with my eyes not moving from my phone that lay just above the box. I don't know why but I expected her to call me. I mean, she was the one angry at me she could let me now when she was over it.

Later that night I gave up and went to bed having received just one call from my mom, even despite that I placed the phone under my pillow, just in case she made up her mind at three am.

She didn't.

* * *

**Another thing. I love it when authors put songs and such with every chapter. So, this is me asking for help with that. ;)**

**And please, if you find any grammar mistake or any kind of mistake, let me know. English is just my second language and well... I'm really prone to make mistakes.**

**Again, Thanks!**

**Ps. (I swear this is the last thing I write) Dont hate Edward, deep, deep inside he's a nice guy.**

**Ghs**


	3. Chapter 3

**Stephenie Meyer own it all ;)**

**BPOV**

I pushed my glasses up my nose once and turned the page. I was bored out of my mind and had absolutely nothing to do, I considered calling someone and going out but I was quite enjoying the fact that no one knew yet I was back and could just chill alone without being all dressed up just in case someone showed up on my door.

I groaned frustrated and closed the book. I had been reading it for almost two hours but I still had no idea what it was about, my mind was to busy going on its own accord. I glanced up to the clock and sighed. I don't know why I was expecting him to call me but I was, and he still hasn't done so. But then again, it made no sense for me to expect him to.

"_What are you? Ten? If you want t__o talk to me just fucking call me."_

I huffed frustrated and went downstairs where my mom was trying to make a batch of cookies. I sat on a stool in front of the island with my feet swinging on the air, when she noticed I had come down she yelped and almost dropped the cookies.

"Hey. I didn't expect you to be home."

"Yeah, well, I am." I said nibbling on a biscuit that I had pulled from a basket.

"What? No Edward today?" I dropped the biscuit back to the basket not caring I had already touched it and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"You know, my life does not revolve entirely around him." Yeah, right.

"Just asking. _Relax._ Anyways, he called earlier," My eyes widened and had to fight really hard against the smile that wanted to show up. _Yeah, Bella, prove your point._ "But, as I said, I thought you weren't home so I told him exactly that."

"Alright." I still was upset so it was not like I was going to run back to my room and call him. Not yet, anyways. Mom turned and sat on the stool across from mine. She leaned on her elbows and watched me intensely, I moved my gaze awkwardly but she wouldn't budge. She finally looked away and sat straight.

"I was right."

"What?" Yeah, mom, you were right. I am a human. She had just looked at my face for like, five minutes what else she could have been right about.

"You. And Edward. When he called earlier he sounded weird and you're weird as well. What happened?"

"Weird? What are you talking about Mom?" I played dumb but she apparently wanted to push the subject.

"Well, it was obvious he was kind of distressed and kept yawning as if he hadn't slept well. And you, you're wearing your glasses."

"What do my glasses have to do with anything?" Alright, she had completely lost it.

"You only wear your glasses when you have no intentions of going out. One would think that after spending month and a half together every single day you wouldn't want to be apart but here you are, three o' clock and no signs of going out."

"Maybe we got sick of being together so much time." I reasoned knowing well that I was not getting anywhere.

"Which proves my thesis. You two got into a fight." I sighed.

"Not a fight per se." I gave up; she wouldn't let me go until she was satisfied with the information.

"Disagreement or whatever you want to call it. What happened?"

Alright Mom, here's the thing. After both times we've had sex he always got weird and all thinking and stops talking to me and oh yeah, did I mention the sex part? Because you would be thrilled about that part.

"He's just acting kinda weird."

"Weird?" Concern laced her tone and I sighed willing to talk to her, well, part of it at least.

"Yeah, he goes from nice to quiet all the time, and I mean, _extremely _nice to _completely_ quiet."

"Have you asked him about it?"

"Really, Bella, it's nothing." I said with a pour imitation of his voice. "He won't tell me what's wrong." I rested my head on my arms that were on the island and sighed, I felt Renée's hand on my shoulder stroking it tenderly. "I really don't get it. And then I'm all frustrated because of it but he goes back to nice and thinks that everything is just fine." Oh, and I just learned he smokes.

"Guys are complicated, Baby." I looked up from my arms and saw her as she continued. "Listen, whatever it is, he needs to sort it out by himself. Give him some time." Some time? I believe three weeks is enough time.

"Oh yeah, because it is fair for me to have to put up with his mood swings, that are seriously getting on my nerves, and act as if everything is perfectly fine."

"Well, no, but think of it this way: If you're the one that is worried about something, you'd expect him to put up with you, right?"

"Right." I said reluctantly. It still doesn't explain the mood he's always in after we have sex. She stood up and left, leaving me with no other option but go back to my room.

When I spotted my phone my brow furrowed. Why had he called to the house number rather than my cell phone? I jumped on the bed, laying across it and stretched my hand to take it from the nightstand to check it out and it was off. Great. When I turned it on a little window popped into my screen declaring I had three missed calls from him. Double great.

I still didn't call him, I wasn't sure I was over it yet and, at least for me, it was better to ignore the situation along him than facing it and end up fighting. I went back to the book but half an hour later it was still of no use. I turned on my laptop, put some music, and lied on my window sill with my eyes closed focusing entirely on it. It worked, I forgot Edward for an hour or so before I got hungry and went to the kitchen. I was humming to myself the last song I had left playing while I trotted down the stairs but halfway down I heard him talking to my mom.

"Um, no. She told me to drop by her suitcases and…yeah." He smiled awkwardly and ran a hand through his hair.

"What's going on, Edward?" My mom asked worriedly as she leaned on the doorframe. They hadn't seen me yet since Renée's back was to me and Edward was looking to the floor.

"I don't know. It's just that I'm sorta confused or something and I really don't know what to do." He shrugged and switched his weight awkwardly still not looking up.

"Confused? As in confused about your feelings for her? Or what?" My breath caught as I gripped the rail tighter unsure if I wanted to hear the answer. He sighed and looked up, his eyes filled of determination but as soon as he saw me his eyes changed completely as did his stance.

"Hey." He said with little voice probably unsure if he was saying the right thing. Mom looked up at me and not so subtly left to the living room.

"Hi." I couldn't help it to sound so hard and that was the main reason I hadn't called him back.

"I brought your luggage." He said tucking his hands into his pockets, nodding to the right where my bright pink suitcases were.

"Yeah, thanks." He nodded, I nodded and then we remained like that avoiding the each other's gaze. He finally sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Can we talk?" I had intended on saying something to push it off but he looked up I couldn't say no. I sighed and nodded up the stairs. He closed the door not looking away from me and climbed the stairs two at a time. When he got to the step I was in he leaned uncertainly and kissed my cheek. I began walking to my room and he followed behind me.

When I got there I went to my laptop and turned off the music before heading to sit on the window sill with my feet barely touching the floor. After he had closed the door, Edward stood shyly in the middle of my room.

"Listen, I'm sorry, alright? For not talking to you or whatever." _Or whatever,_ I repeated on my mind. I shook my head and looked down to my socked feet already knowing that we would end up actually fighting but I couldn't help feeling annoyed and irritated about his nonchalance. _Or whatever._ "And, besides, how was I supposed to know you didn't like it that I smoke?"

_Well, I've hated it my entire life. And everyone that knows me for a couple weeks learn__s that but apparently you, my two years long boyfriend, don't seem to have noticed that much._

"The same way I know you hate it when I wear strong perfumes, _perhaps_?" I looked up at him my eyes slightly narrowed.

"That's not even true." His eyes narrowed at the same time his posture became defensive, crossing his arms over his chest and switching weight to his left foot. I raised an eyebrow at him, he responded doing the same. I jumped down to the floor and walked to the bathroom gathering four bottles of perfumes and placing them on my desk after I had walked out.

"There. I can't wear those when I'm going out with you. If I do you'll spend the entire time sniffing or coughing. _Now_, tell me it is not true." I crossed my arms over my chest raising an eyebrow again, daring him.

He switched his weight again, "Whatever. I usually smoke when I'm alone and, in fact, the only reason you figured it out is because we spent four hours locked in a car after I did. Four hours in which you wouldn't even look at me."

"Nice, Edward. Turn it back to me." I glared at him shaking my head.

"It is true."

"So, it is okay you wouldn't talk to me but when it's me then it is all wrong, right?"

"I told you. I was upset, that was it." I raised yet another time my eyebrow and held his gaze until he moved his eyes to the floor. He patted his pocket and took out a little box. He walked to where I was and placed it next to me on the desk. "I'll leave it, okay?" I looked down and saw it was a box of cigarettes. The main point of this was not the smoking and he knew it but he could sense the fight coming as much as I did and I could tell he wanted to avoid it.

I, on the other hand, _wanted_ that fight maybe like that I'd tell him everything that's been bothering me and maybe he'd finally tell me what was wrong with him.

Still looking down to the box I talked, "I'm getting tired of your mood swings, Edward." My words didn't held the edge they did before but they, now, were flat as if I was feeling nothing when in reality this was seriously affecting me.

We've never been the kind of couple that fight and fight and fight and spent more time fighting than actually being a couple. Actually, we barely even fought but there was something about him that had changed and somehow this new Edward always had me on edge. Yes, I adored the part of the new Edward in which he was _boyfriendlier_ and all but I wasn't sure if those few hours were worth the ones he would shut himself down and act all emo-ish.

He stepped in closer and I propped myself on my hands to sit on the desk, he placed his hands on each side next to me. I could feel him watching me but I was looking down to our feet so I couldn't be sure. "I want to know the answer to the question my mom asked you." I whispered not completely sure if I really wanted to but I knew I needed to know.

"What?" I looked up at him and he sighed. "You heard that, huh?" I nodded and he sighed again. "Bella, I love you. There's no confusion over that fact."

"Then?"

He closed his eyes before speaking, "There's some shit I need to sort out before I talk to you about that." He opened his eyes and they were practically pleading me to leave it at that. I wouldn't have if it hadn't been for the flash of pain I saw in them when I had opened my mouth to talk. I gave in and leaned my forehead on his chest.

"I know there's something else besides my, um, _mood swings_ bothering you, Bella." He said after a while of us not moving nor speaking. I blushed with my face still hidden on his chest. Yeah, he was the one I had have sex with but I still couldn't even fathom the idea of voicing my thoughts to him.

I shook my head and I could feel him pressing a kiss on the top of my head. "See? There are some things we need to sort out by ourselves."

"Yeah, I guess." Again we didn't say anything but eventually one of Edward's hand reached for mine and began stroking my knuckles although he wouldn't say anything. I wasn't sure how long we stayed there but he was the one to break the silence.

"Bella?" I squeezed his hand letting him know I was listening. "We okay?" I moved my face from his chest to his. He wrapped his other hand around my waist and pulled me even closer to the edge of the desk as my hand moved to the part of his nape that was covered by the collar of his shirt. He kissed me softly for a long while; he brought our still intertwined hands up to the left side of his chest.

"Do you feel that?" His heart was beating erratically against his ribcage and I nodded. "It is only because of you, Bella. Don't _ever_ doubt that." I looked up at him and found nothing but sincerity in his eyes. And it made my heart swell.

And it scared me.

I seriously wished I knew what had changed. He would never, ever say those kinds of things and yes, at first it upset me but then I just came to the conclusion that was how he was but that it didn't mean he didn't feel it. But now I'm just starting to doubt my conclusion since, lately, he seemed to have no problem voicing his feelings. So what did it meant? He never felt anything for me until now?

I raised a hand and ran it through the side of his face all the while looking at him right in the eye. His glance didn't waver for a bit.

And that's how I realized that our entire relationship had been a lie.

I've seen that green on those same eyes so many times it was impossible to keep track. I had always been mesmerized by the way they were, the impossibly deep color that was surrounded by little hazel that, mixed with the sun, would end up looking a bit like topaz. I had always loved how they shone when he was laughing and admired the way they turned darker as his mood did as well. How many passion they held when he was either playing or listening music.

Those eyes held everything that Edward Cullen was and, in a way, I had fallen in love with those eyes.

"Say it again." I said my voice dull.

"What? I love you. That?" He asked, his eyes showing he was confused as to what I was asking. Despite that I still caught a glimpse of the little spark on the corner of his eye when he said the words. And, again, I realized that it had not been his nature not to voice feelings.

He hadn't had them.

And the fact that he may have them now didn't change anything. In fact, it worsened it all. How many times I had heard 'Me too's and 'You know I do's? How many times I had believed it? And more importantly, how many times I'd been lied to?

I had always been sort of jealous of other couples. Angela and Ben, for an instance. They didn't last long, the first time, but it was so incredibly sweet when you looked at them that you could actually get sick of it. I wanted that, but I knew we were not like that. I find refuge in the fact that they didn't last more than a month and that Edward and I had been together for a year already. But when they got back together I chose to look to the other side, simply. Because I knew they were still the same way about each other and to the date, they hadn't broken up again.

Rose and Emmett. Yes, they break up all the time but even then they can't be without each other for long. And when they are together, even when they are fighting, they find a way to make you believe they'll be part of the low percentage of couples that make it through High School.

And that was when I came to the conclusion: Edward doesn't do much but when he does is because he means it.

Little did I know.

And every time I would even began pondering about it and having doubts he would show up at my door with a giant stuffed animal or when I opened my locker there would be a bouquet of roses. He would call in the middle of the night just to tell me he was thinking of me or set up a nice dinner for us. It was as if he could read my mind. But now that I looked back he never meant it, not completely at least. And what did that leave me with? Twenty-two months of deceiving and wishful thinking?

Why is he with me?

"What are you thinking?" I looked up again. I had forgotten he was here. I shook my head. "You look nice, you know? With the whole I'm-staying-home-look. You look nice." I looked up at him.

"Thanks. I guess." I shook my head, frowning.

"It is meant to be a compliment, Sweetie." He encircled his hands around my waist and pulled me to my feet just to drag me to the window sill. "I bet my car there're thousands of girls dying to look the way you look twenty-four seven." He laid first and pulled me to do the same beside him.

That's it, then. Nice.

Yeah, I know I'm decent looking and when I put a good effort on it I know I can look really good. But, that's it, then? He's with me just because I'm nice enough to fulfil his expectative? It would make sense, though. He only started paying me attention after I came back, as so did everyone else.

Okay, let's say that was it. You don't stay with people just because they're _nice_ for nearly two years. It just doesn't make any sense. And let's not even mention how vain and selfish and just… how wrong it is.

Thoughts among those lines and more conclusions came through the time we were laying there. I just couldn't find it in myself to kick him out when I actually wanted to. At some point he fell asleep and his grip on me tightened. And a simple line came to my head.

_Drunken words. Sober thoughts._

Is not the same, I know. But still, when you're either drunk or asleep you can't control what you say or do. And he did say my name few times. I still was unsure of how to react with this, it was not like I could go all 'I know you don't love me because I see it in your eyes'. That was simply insane. He began stirring beneath me and a hand moved to his face, he groaned and tried to roll to the side but when he couldn't a smile lit up his face and he separated two fingers from over his eyes.

"Hello there." Despite myself I smiled back and he moved both his hands to my waist turning me to sit on his stomach. It was already dark but again those eyes haunted me with the way they shone against the moonlight. "Sorry I fell asleep." I shrugged and shook my head. I needed the time to think.

"That's okay. I doze off for a while too." Lies.

"Ah, well, I don't feel that bad then. Hey, want to do something tonight?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Movies, dinner, bowling, um… go to the beach, perhaps? There's not much we can do in this town, Bella."

"I don't know. I feel like watching a movie but I don't particularly want to go to the movies, does that make any sense at all?" He chuckled and moved a hand to my thigh.

"We can watch a movie here."

"Yeah… Not. It would eventually turn into a family movie night plus you. I want to spend the night with you."

"Plus you? What? Can't I be considered part of your family?"

"Am I considered part of yours?"

"Hell yes. And seriously, Mom and Dad think of you as a daughter already."

"Already?"

"Well yes." He said as if treating with a mentally challenged person. "I mean, you're not like, an official Cullen but you will, some day."

"Is that so?" I asked with a sly smile forgetting all the thinking I've done while he was asleep.

"You do know I intend to marry you, right?" My eyes widened. What. The. Fuck.

"You do know that seventy-five percent of High School couples split?"

"You do know that we're part of the twenty-five percent?"

"You do know I made up those statistics?" He sat up and pulled me flesh to his chest.

"You do know," He whispered with his mouth an inch apart from mine. "That I love you enough to know that we form part of whatever percentage that is, right?" I stood on my knees and pulled him into the cushions behind him as I wrapped my arms around him. He swallowed loudly when I lowered my body so close to his yet not touching him, his breathing increased as I moved my mouth closer to his.

"Fuck!" He cursed under his breath when my mom began calling my name outside the room. I jumped to the other extreme of the sill clapping so the lights would go on as the same time she opened my door.

"Oh, I thought you had already left." She said genuinely surprised as she spotted Edward with his face covered by his arm, shielding from the sudden light.

"Hello Renée." He didn't even bother to hide his annoyance.

"Are you staying for dinner?"

"NO!" Edward jumped to a sitting position and almost yelled. I glared at him briefly. "I mean, I invited her to the movies. If that's fine with you." Yeah, such a gentleman. I rolled my eyes.

"Sure darling. One o' clock." He smiled crookedly at her.

"I know."

"Okay, well, have a good night kids." She closed the door and I turned to Edward.

"So, we're going to the movies?"

He shrugged, "Just out. Wherever you want."

"Okay, let me get dressed." I jumped down the sill and headed to the closet.

"I hope you're not expecting me to go out. I _could_ avoid an awkward conversation with your mother." I closed the door of the walk-in closet and changed into black tight jeans with a midnight blue top with silver heels. Yeah, I know. Years and years of cheering does that to a klutz like me. I either learned how not to fall or I would end up with another cast.

"Wow." He let out a whistle and I rolled my eyes. He put the picture frame he had been looking at back on the wall and sat on the edge of the bed where he could see me as I put on some make-up in the vanity. I was to busy trying not to poke my eye with the eyeliner that I only noticed he was standing beside me until his arms encircled my waist. I smiled at him through the reflection and he kissed my neck.

"We look great together." I looked at him through the reflection again with a 'Where the hell that came from' expression. "Well, we do. Look at you, totally gorgeous and well, let's not even talk about me." He grinned crookedly completing his to-die-for expression.

"Feeling good about ourselves, are we?"

"Well, being with the most beautiful girl around does that to a boy's ego." He said simply and I rolled my eyes again focusing back to the eyeliner. He cupped my chin and turned my head to kiss me.

I couldn't help the thought that followed.

So, is that so? We look good together?

I shook those thoughts away and put the eyeliner back in the vanity and put my hand on his head. His hand was caressing my stomach and it felt so freaking good that I wavered a bit even standing still. A flash blinked from outside my eyelids and I opened my eyes just to find Edward with his phone pointing at our reflection. I pulled apart and turned the phone so I could see the picture and he pressed the side of his face to mine, watching the picture as well.

"This is so becoming my screensaver." I rolled my eyes and took the phone out of his grasp walking to the other extreme of the room. "Bella," He said warningly. "Don't. Delete. It." As if. I raised my eyebrow daringly. He began walking slowly to me. "Bella, just give me the phone." I began walking away as I scrolled through the pictures. I didn't see them all but in the library there were around a hundred and a half pictures of us. And those were the only pictures there. There was even some of just me I hadn't noticed he had taken.

As I kept walking away from him around the room I, out of curiosity, checked it all. Texts' Inbox? Mine. Outbox? To me. Recent Calls? Me, Esme and Felix. BB MSN? Mine was the only conversation open. Music Player? _Our _song was halfway started. Even the Facebook application, he had it opened on my profile.

"Gotcha!" I squealed as he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me from the floor, my legs instinctively rising in front of me. "Watcha doing there, huh?" He made no attempt to take the phone, just peaked over my shoulder what I was watching.

"Nothing, just watching the pictures. I didn't know you had that much pictures of me." He shrugged sheepishly.

"Yeah, well, gotta use the memory wisely." I shook my head and deleted one I didn't like. "Hey! I liked that one!"

"Well, I didn't."

"But I did! And it's my phone!" He set me on my feet and took the phone from my hands with an expression of a kid that received no presents on Christmas day. I cupped his chin and shook his head.

"Get over it, baby."

"Whatever, I have it on my computer. Let's go." I glared at him for a moment until his smile made _me_ smile. I finished quickly applying my make up and followed him down the stairs.

"Mom! We're leaving!" I yelled from the main door as Edward helped me into my jacket.

"Okay! Remember, one!" Edward groaned and led me outside.

"You'd believe that after two fucking years she'd think I'd remember." He said once we where on his car. I chuckled. "I mean, I've never, ever, taken you home after twelve-fifty."

"Well, not exactly never." I said between chuckles. He was really frustrated about it.

"Well, yeah. But I called! And is not like _you_ called. No. I called and talked to Charlie myself. I dare you to find a guy that'd do that. Besides, I went through _the talk_ with your dad twice."

"Get over it, Edward."

"Whatever." He grunted and sulked down on his seat as he reached for his iPod. He played _If you only knew_ and looked straight forward with a shy smile curving his lips. I leaned over to kiss his cheek and he reached to stroke the back of my head. When I returned to my seat he reached for my hand. "So, where are we going?"

"Where are you driving to?"

"Well, I was driving to Port Angeles but you don't want to go to the movies, so, what do you want to do?" He looked at me briefly with a raised eyebrow.

"Dunno. You pick."

"Um, we could pick up something to eat and, um, dunno, go somewhere?"

"Somewhere. I love that place." I rolled my eyes.

Since I didn't want to risk seeing anyone we ended up having a pseudo-picnic on his backyard. Lovely. I loved the landscaping and all but… Well, he had wanted to take me to an actual restaurant but again, I was way too comfortable to practically being invisible again for few days.

"Hey Bella?" Edward whispered squeezing my hand. We had finished eating around an hour ago and we had been laying on the ground with about five blankets beneath us since then. "I'm going to Seattle tomorrow. Would you come with me?" I jumped to a sitting position untangling myself of Edward and he followed propping himself up on his elbows.

"Is your grandfather okay?"

"What? Yes. I just feel like going to the pool."

"Nice, Edward. Scare me to death."

"Sorry Sweetie. So want to come with me?"

"You have a pool here, Edward."

"I know, but dunno, I just like it there. So?"

"Sure. I'll go."

"Great." He flashed a smile and sat fully before leaning in and capturing my lips on a kiss. Even before I could open my eyes after we had pulled apart he was lying on his back again and his hand curling around my waist pulling me next to him. We didn't say anything for a long time as I ran my fingers across his chest, he was tracing patterns on my hip with his thumb.

I loved how everything about us had become more intimate. If Edward noticed the subtle changes he gave no indications he did but I sure as hell did. He was a lot more confident around me and well, so was I.

"What are you thinking?" I asked in a low whisper.

"Next year."

"What about it?"

"Nothing, actually. Just the applications and the SATs and that sort of stuff, have you thought about where are you going?" I nodded against his chest.

"Miami." I said in a low voice and his hand stopped moving.

"Miami? As in the one I'd like to go?" Again, I nodded. "Why?" He dragged the word out and I couldn't figure out if he was either annoyed or irritated or something.

"Because you want to go there."

"But, Bella, I thought _you _wanted to go to Berkeley."

"I do."

"Then?"

"I want to be with you more." He moved so I was over him and looked me directly on the eyes. I didn't know what that was about but he didn't move his gaze and although I wanted to feel sort of uncomfortable I couldn't. I couldn't look away either. After a while he sighed and looked back to the sky.

"You're way too good for me." He stated simply.

"Edward," I was about to contradict him but he looked back at me, his eyes hard.

"No, Bella. You are. _Why_ are you with me?" The question hurt itself, but the expression he had was what made me move as far as I could with his arm still around me.

"Because I love you." His eyes softened a bit but he shook his head.

"You couldn't have loved me since the beginning, Bella."

"Well, no but I liked you. I guess. Why are you asking that question?"

"Because I know that I'm a crappy boyfriend, Bella. And I don't really get why you have put up with me this long."

"Why are you with me?" I spat back and his eyes showed a flash of panic but he recovered quickly.

"Because you're good for me, Bella."

"What is that supposed to mean, Edward?"

"Exactly that. You're good for me. Go ask Carlisle." He sighed and shook his head looking away.

"I want to know what you think, not Carlisle." I sat completely and glared down at him.

"Bella, please, please, _please_ let's not fight again over this." He sat in front of me and sighed.

"Then tell me." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Because of that Bella! Yes, I eventually fell for you but at first it was because of it. You were good for me. You made me stop drinking, I smoke hell a lot less, I don't do drugs anymore and any other reckless attitude vanished the moment you came into my life." And that's it. Finally.

I stood up and walked back into the house. I could hear him saying something behind me but I wouldn't know. For some reason what he had just said infuriated me. He stayed with me because Carlisle thought it was good for him? _Nice, Edward, really nice._ He reached out for my hand as I shrugged on my jacket; I moved it away and walked out. Then it hit me that he had driven me here. Well, it was just few blocks. I wrapped my arms around myself and began walking.

"Bella! C'mon! At least tell me what I did wrong!" He was couple houses behind me. I turned around abruptly and he stopped.

"What you did wrong? Edward, are you serious? You just told me that you are with me was because _Carlisle _thought it was good for you."

"_No, no, no_. I told you I _am_ with you because I _love_ you." He took one step forward and I took two backwards.

"Yes, _now!_ But how long since you 'fell for me', huh? An hour, a day, a month? Tell me. How long?"

"Bella come on, I love you. Isn't that enough?" My eyes narrowed at his nonchalant attitude.

"Yes, Edward. It is just enough." I shook my head and turned around. I could hear him following me but he didn't talk again. I knew that my reaction was really uncalled for but with what I've been thinking all day long it was just right. I mean, he answered the question I had made myself earlier, Why was he with me, but unlike what I thought, it didn't made me feel any better. In fact it just made it all wrong.

When I neared my block I slowed down my pace since I had stopped hearing Edward walking behind me. I was wrong of course. "Bella?" I kept walking. "Just talk to me, Beautiful." My steps faltered but I kept walking until my heel got trapped in the sidewalk and I stumbled to the side.

"Dammit, Bella! Are you okay?" Edward asked crouched in front of me. I tried to sit and took off the damned shoe; I threw it to a fountain that was in the McKinley's front yard. The heel was broken and it was not as if I was going to use it again. I took a deep breath to stop myself from crying. My ankle really hurt but I knew that was not the main reason of the sting in my eyes. I took the other shoe and threw it in the same direction and tried to stand up ignoring Edward's questions.

When I stood up I smiled, it meant it wasn't broken but when I took the first step I cried out in pain and almost hit the floor again if Edward hadn't caught me. He carried me bridal style despite I was telling him to put me on my feet.

"You can't even walk, Bella."

"I can call Dad."

"Yeah, and he would kill me for leaving you in a sidewalk. In fact," He said turning to the other side, back to his house. "I'm taking you to the hospital."

"What?" I jerked forward and almost fell off Edward's arms, I threw my arms around his neck.

"Stay quiet, Bella. Seriously."

"But I don't wanna go to the hospital."

"I don't care." I sighed frustrated and rested my head on his chest. Halfway to his house I accidentally bumped my foot with the other and cringed. Edward looked at me with a worried expression.

"It hurts." I said simply looking at my knees. He sighed.

"I know, B." He kissed my forehead. "That's why I'm taking you to the hospital. Lemme see." I slowly lifted my foot and Edward cringed. He began walking faster and when we arrived to his house he told me to take the keys from his pocket and open the door.

"What's the code?" I asked yelling over the alarm sound.

"9843" I pushed the buttons and he set me on the couch. "I thought we were going to the hospital." I said secretly hoping he had changed his mind.

"We are. I'm going to pick up some ice." He came back with a bag full of ice covered by a thin, too thin, towel. "Put this on." I flinched when the coldness touched my skin but left it there nonetheless. Edward took some cushions from the couches and walked outside. He came back and carried me to the car.

He set me across the back seat and put the cushions under my swollen feet. The drive to the hospital was silent and the guilt was killing me. He had every right to left me there on the sidewalk, instead he worried. I treated him like shit but he didn't even hesitate on his actions. I sunk on the seat and hide my face.

The ER was pretty deserted and Edward chuckled at the 'Long time, no see' from one of the nurses and kissed my forehead when I elbowed him on the ribs. He held my hand while the doctor prodded on my feet literally bringing me to tears and told him rather aggressively to take it easy when he realized I was crying. He stood outside the x-ray's room while they took mine and played with the wheelchair they had given me to try and lighten up my mood.

"You think we should call your parents?" We were on a bed in the ER waiting for the results of the x-rays. We had been playing thumb war for the last half hour. I turned his hand to see the hour on his watch.

"Nah, we still have around two hours before they call."

"Okay." He pressed his thumb to mine and I chuckled until he counted to ten. "I win. Again." We were both ignoring that we had been fighting and I was happy about it although I was still a little confused about everything.

I mean, is not everyday you realize your boyfriend hadn't felt about you the way he says he does. But then there is his new attitude, the one in which he supposedly does love me. The same attitude that has been bugging me the last three weeks. So, what does that means? That me plus honest, loving Edward doesn't match?

Edward's cell rang and he untangled our hands to look for it in his pockets. "Hey mom… With Bella… Where?" He raised an eyebrow and I shook my head. Anywhere but here, I mouthed. "Nah, watching a movie… No, I don't think I'll be going tomorrow, Mom… How's gramps? Oh, good… Yeah, me too. Bye."

He closed the phone but stayed looking at it for a while, he finally sighed and looked up "Listen, this is not the best moment but there's something I really need to tell you," The look in his eyes sent me into a mini panic attack and I moved as far as I could from him. I had no idea what he was going to tell me but I had a strong feeling I wouldn't like it.

"Talk," I said flatly after he didn't add anything else. He opened his mouth to talk but before a sound could come out a doctor came into back into the room.

"Good news, guys. It is not broken, but it's sprained and…" I tuned him off; I knew what to do when I got a sprained muscle. Instead, I watched Edward; he had moved to the bed next to mine and was toying with his phone on his hand. "Understood, Miss Swan?"

"Huh? Uh, yeah."

"Great, you can go now." I nodded and turned to the side before I could jump down Edward was by my side helping me. I leaned completely on him but refused when he offered to carry me again. I jumped the rest of the way to the exit ignoring the mood that had possessed Edward.

I knew I wouldn't like what he had to say.

"So… What was it you were going to tell me?" I was again on the backseat with my head between his headrest and the door.

He turned slightly just realizing I had moved my head. "Huh? Nah, I forgot." He looked back to the front and I sighed. I went back to my position and pondered about what he could have to say. I came up blank.

When we stopped in my driveway it was around eleven and I knew my parents would still be awake. I could tell Edward was anxious about it. This would be the second time I came home injured after going out with him. But neither this, nor the first time was his fault.

The first time I had been running to surprise him from behind before he could jump into the pool and, of course, I slipped on the wet floor. The little surprise ended on a three month cast.

"Hey wait." He said as I reached to open the door. "I know you're mad and all-"

"I'm no-" He ignored me and continued.

"And with your parents inside I'm not going to come in so, can I kiss you?" He was seriously asking me permission to kiss me?

I looked down and jumped closer to him I wobbled a bit and he raised his arms up to mine to steady me. I moved my arms around his neck and pushed his head down to mine. He kissed me chastely a couple times before moving his hands to my waist and pulling me closer. Our lips were moving in synchronization and I moaned when he sucked my lower one in his mouth, I felt him trace his tongue across my lip and I opened my mouth granting him access. The way his tongue massaged mine made me roll my eyes in the back of my head and gripped his head so tight he groaned.

"God, I love you." He sighed as one of his hands went to my jeans pocket holding me tight to him and the other tangled itself on my hair to keep me in place as he angled his head deepening the kiss. I moved one hand to his chest and I could feel his heart beating impossibly fast against my hand. I tried to stand on my tiptoes but it wasn't working with one foot. Edward moved his hands below my butt on my thighs and lifted me.

He groaned again when my hands pulled his head back so I was the one controlling the kiss now. I pulled apart half a second to look at him with his mouth half open taking a deep breath before I went down again kissing him passionately until I saw a flick of light through my eyelids. "Put me on my feet." He did and looked at me curiously, his eyes full of lust, love, and confusion.

"What? Why?" The front door opened and Mom came out smiling.

"That's why."

"Oh, hey kids. Isn't it too early…" She gasped and Edward's grip around my waist tightened. "Oh my God! Isabella, what happened to you?"

"It's nothing mom." I whined and Edward took a step backwards still holding me.

"Her heel got stuck on the sidewalk." Edward answered with a hint of shame in his voice.

"Oh, Bella! Are you okay?" Renée moved Edward's arms around me and turned me around as a ballerina, checking me out. "You broke your leg!"

"I did not, Mom! It's just sprained. It is not the first time so calm down." I said annoyed. She was just making Edward feel worse.

"What's going on out here?" Dad asked appearing next to Mom, rounding her shoulders with his left arm.

"Goodnight, Charlie." Edward said politely stretching a hand that was shaken with a raised eyebrow from my dad. He shook his hand for a while more and I could tell Edward was getting anxious by the way his other hand ducked into his pocket.

"It's the second time, Edward." He nodded to my leg. How did he notice? He hadn't even looked my way.

"I know, Sir. And I am sorry."

"Shut up Edward. It was not his fault, Dad. I fell, I'm the klutz. Not him."

"Bella," He said warningly. I didn't care, he was seriously making Edward feel like crap and he had nothing to do with the fact I fell down.

"What? My heel got stuck on the sidewalk. He had nothing to do with it."

"Well, it leaves me thinking about your safety while around him." He insisted and through the corner of my eye I saw Edward running a hand through his hair.

"Well, I've suffered some worse accidents while being with you. What does that means? Huh?"

"Charlie, just leave it. She's fine." _Thanks, Mom._

He looked down at her and sighed. "I think it's time for you to leave, Edward." He nodded solemnly.

"Go back inside, Dad." I reached for Edward's shoulder to stop him at the same time he turned around to leave.

"Why?"

"Come on, Charlie." Mom grabbed his elbow but he didn't budge. "Just let them say goodbye."

"What? Can't they say goodbye with me here."

Edward sighed and turned to me. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "Take some rest, okay?" I nodded and surprisingly, he leant to peck me on my lips. After our prior kissing that simple one made my stomach swirl in want. But of course, Charlie had to be there and glaring at us nonetheless.

"Goodnight. Charlie," They shook hands again "Renée," He nodded at her and she smiled warmly at him. He threw a barely noticeable wink on my way "I'll call you in the morning." I nodded blushing and he jogged down the steps to his car. When his Camaro was out of sight I turned to my dad.

"Okay. That was completely uncalled for."

"It _is_ the second time, Isabella."

"And like, the thousandth it happens to me! Yeah, I fell. Yes. I was with him but just so you know he also insisted on taking me to the hospital and iced my ankle and waited with me."

"It's the least he can do!"

"And it's a lot more than what you usually do!" I walked cringing past him and almost passed out while climbing the stairs. As soon as I reached my room I took a painkiller and dozed off almost immediately. The thoughts of what Edward had to say left completely my mind.

Now, I wish they hadn't.

* * *

**Thanks for reading :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all. :)**

**BPOV**

"No. No. No. Um, NO." I switched through channels not finding anything to watch. Thanks to overprotective mom plus angered dad I couldn't leave my bedroom. I was wearing my pyjamas I had put on couple hours ago when I woke up since I had fell asleep with my clothes from last night. I had my laptop on a pillow above my lap while my right foot was elevated by four little pillows at the end of the bed.

I turned off the TV and threw the remote to the other side of the bed. I huffed, pulled my hair up into a pony tail and looked down to the computer. I didn't even know why I had it on, is not like I had something interesting to do and I was in no mood to decipher half written words or acronyms, so IM was out. I checked my mail, nothing important. I went to iTunes and began deleting playlists and downloading songs and whatnot. When I got bored of that, too, I logged in to my Facebook Profile.

_Edward __Cullen has tagged a picture of you. _

_Tanya Denali posted s__omething on your wall. _

Those two were from this morning while there were around twenty more from prior days. I clicked on both links. The picture was the one from last night and he had set it as his profile picture, the caption was simple.

_I'm an idiot, but I'm your idiot. And this idiot truly loves you. Forgive me?_

I sighed and set it as my profile picture as well. I went to the other tab and read what Tanya had written.

_OMG! I__ ttlly tght u n E had split! G2K not like dat :) _

And that's what I meant with the no-IMing- mood. I didn't reply and considered deleting the post but it seemed rude so with a sudden pang of annoyance I just closed the computer.

The door opened slowly and I glared its way, not knowing who had come in.

"I'll leave if you want me to. I just came to see how you were feeling." Edward whispered from his place by the door. He had only his head inside the room between the door and the doorframe.

"Why are you whispering?" I asked with a smile.

He smiled back, "Your mom told me you may be asleep. Can I come in?"

"Sure, come here." He opened the door wider and he walked in with his hands behind his back. When I looked at him warily he smiled from ear to ear, literally.

"I think not but I have to ask. Are you still mad at me?" I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Good. Okay, here." He sat on the bed next to me by my knees and handed me a single white orchid leaning in to kiss my cheek.

"Is there a reason for this?" He shrugged still leant over.

"Not really. And this," He reached to his back pocket and took out my phone. "I only realized why you wouldn't pick up until I climbed into my car and it began ringing."

"Thanks." He nodded and fingered the blue fabric covering my feet.

He stayed the entire day, leaving at seven-fifty. Charlie always came back at eight. We watched couple movies; he apparently had this need to check all the pictures I had. Then we listened music and even fought for like, twenty minutes.

Yeah, a normal evening with my boyfriend.

He called before going to bed and came the next day, the flowers replaced with a box of chocolates. Box of which I only ate around three because he threw one at me and then I began throwing them back, he left at the same hour with a promise of coming back the next day with more chocolates. Instead of calling we stayed texting until around two.

_**Beautiful, I'm sorry but I'm literally writing asleep. See you later. Sweet dreams.**__** -E**_

The next day he came a tad later with an apologetic smile and three boxes of chocolates. We wasted two of them but he took care that I ate down until the last chocolate of the last one by giving them to me himself.

I knew I could move and try and walk but good old dad thought it'd be better if I just rested so I had to stay in bed for a week more. Seven days in which Edward came everyday with some sort of present. He showed up one day with a mischievous smile and set a box next to me on the bed.

"Probably you won't want to wear them anymore, but I liked how they looked on you." A new pair of my ruined heels was in the box and for some reason I was not surprised. My mom had come into my room the night before wondering about those presents, I just shrugged and told her I couldn't really stop Edward.

At some point through the week he turned on my computer again and I hadn't even closed the windows from the last time I had used it.

"Ugh, Bella. Delete this. I mean what the fuck? Why would she think that?" He was referring to Tanya's post on my Wall. He didn't even wait for me to say something before it was deleted already. He got moody for a while but then I reminded him his original purpose for taking my computer. He hacked Emmett's profile and changed his status several times through the day with the stupidest things on Earth, around seven he actually got in.

_EDWARD! GET OFF MY PROFILE NOW! _

It was really silly but I wouldn't complain. It was simply perfect. Yeah, I wanted so badly to go out but I knew Dad wouldn't let me. I really believe he just kept me prisoner so I couldn't go out with Edward.

I never really understood why he didn't like him, he had known him for over a decade and I had heard him say on countless times how he was a great kid. That was until I came with the whole I'm-going-out-with-Edward thing, he immediately tried to talk me into not doing it and, in fact, he just gave up on talking me to dump him few months ago. Edward was fully aware of it and he wasn't completely ashamed to say that my Dad freaked him out still.

I was already feeling better and next day, when Edward came over I was on the kitchen counter, with my feet swinging on the air as I drank a glass of Coke.

"Hey, there." He said gripping the counter on each of my sides. He leaned over and kissed me.

"Hey, there yourself." I said smiling against his lips. Mom came almost running into the room with her purse on her hands as she looked frantically around it for something. Edward pushed over to the other extreme of the kitchen. Yeah, he was freaked out by both my parents.

"Edward?" Mom said not looking at him. "I've gotta go to Seattle and Charlie is working overnight, can you stay here with her until I come back?" She looked up briefly at him and he looked at me looking for some sort of affirmation. I just shrugged mouthing 'It's up to you'.

"Sure, Renée. Don't worry."

"Gee, thanks. Well I better get going. Bye kids, take care." And just like that she was out and Edward back in front of me.

"You seriously need to get over that, Edward." I reached out my hand to tangle it in his hair.

"Easier said than done."

"Well, I don't run away and hide from your parents. Anymore."

"Well, they love you. Even more than they love me." I rolled my eyes. I opened my mouth to reply but he continued. "And don't tell me yours too, perhaps Renée likes me, but your dad absolutely loathes the idea we're together."

"Is not like that, Edward."

"It is. But I don't really blame him. I would too, considering he had literally seen me at my very, very, very worst. When I have my own daughter, she's so becoming a nun." He muttered the last part under his breath and I chuckled.

"But it is not _you_ he hates, is what you _used _to do." I reasoned at last and he sighed frustrated, giving up.

"Yeah, yeah." He circled his arms around my waist and put me to my feet pressing his body to mine. "What do you want to do?" I put my arms around his neck and pulled him even closer as he tightened his grip around me.

"As to right now? I just want you to kiss me." He licked his lips smiling and bent down to kiss me. When we finally pulled apart, both panting and looking flustered, he rested his forehead on mine.

"And now?" I leaned over for another kiss and he smiled broadly. When we were done making out we decided that the day was nice enough so we went out and into the farthest part of my backyard where all the swings and stuff like that from when I was a kid were. I sat on one swing as he straddled the other one, facing me. After a while of total silence I lifted my injured leg onto the swing and turned to Edward that was watching me intently.

"The other day you said something that kind of stuck with me," I said looking down and stopped not knowing how to continue.

"Okay, and what's that?" Edward said moving his head even lower than mine so he could look at me.

"That you were a crappy boyfriend." He instantly sat upright and ran a hand all the way throughout his face to his hair.

"Oh, _that."_ I looked up and right into his eyes.

"Yeah, well, you're not. At all."

"You really think so?"

"Yes." He visibly relaxed and swung over next to me, setting his feet on the ground to keep himself there as he cupped my cheek.

"That means a lot to me, Bella." I blushed smiling slyly and he closed the distance between us, gently kissing me.

Suddenly it didn't matter anymore whether he had loved me as long as he had claimed, it just didn't matter anymore. He did now and I did as well so, what the fuck? I'd just go along with it. It felt right, it _was_ right.

"I don't get it. He could easily fly to wherever the hell she is and he wouldn't even have to do all that stuff to win her over." Edward huffed exasperated as he moved on his spot on the couch, again.

"Then, there wouldn't even be a movie. Just, shut up." I added with a little kick on his leg.

"That'd be better." He mumbled under his breath and I slid back up to rest against the armrest. Originally, I was with my head on it and my feet on Edward's lap but I was seriously getting annoyed by his attitude to the movie. He even picked it –within the ones I'd pre-selected, at least. I pushed my feet up to my chest and rested my chin. It was unbelievable; we couldn't even be more than couple hours just fine.

Edward gave me a weird look from the other side of the couch, the four people couch, and kept his eyes on me for a while before sliding even lower on the couch, crossing his arms over his chest and propping his feet up on the coffee table. He kept huffing and mumbling and groaning and it just kept putting me even more in edge.

_Come on, give me a break._

Just to annoy him even more I watched all the deleted scenes and every extra material that was on the DVD before shutting the TV down, standing and stretching, throwing a flat "I guess I'll see you tomorrow." At him before heading up the stairs, all the way knowing very well he was with his mouth hanging open and looking up to the stairs.

I was actually hoping he'd just leave so I changed into my pyjamas, pulled my hair up in a ponytail, took off my contacts and put on my glasses before walking down the stairs for something to drink.

"What are you still doing here?" I asked to Edward's back. He was still sitting on the couch, pretty much in the same position I'd left him, sans the feet on the table.

"I told your mom I'd stay until she came back."

"I can take care of my-"

"Is not for you I'm here. I promised your mom." He cut me off aggressively leaving me with my mouth open and a raised eyebrow. My teeth clenched and I stomped over to the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of whatever it is that was on the jar and drank it hastily.

Anger was always better than pain.

And pained I was, at first. _Is not for you I'm here._ Jackass.

I threw the glass into the sink and walked out, my teeth still clenching. Before I could put my feet on the first step he talked. "I didn't mean it like that, Bella." I ignored him and climbed two steps, the wood screeching beneath me, before he stood up and turned so he was facing the stairs, and me. "Are we seriously going to fight? _Again?_"

"Apparently." I said not stopping my steps and before I could reach the second floor the wood on the second step was screeching again.

"Come on! I didn't like the movie, so what? Is not like I had to just because you do." _Ignore him, Bella. Just ignore him._ "Oh, now you're not talking to me. Great." _Count to ten, take deep breaths, don't kill him_. "You know what?" _5…6…7…This shit actually works._ "I don't care, maybe that way we'll stop fighting altogether." I stopped on my tracks and turned to face him. _Great Bella, you acted just like he wanted you to. Just look his smug expression._

"Maybe. Maybe we should just call it off for good." His eyes widened as he stopped two steps below me. He wasn't expecting that at all.

"What?" He said his voice an octave or two higher.

"Didn't you just say so? I mean, is not like a relationship can stand if we're not talking. So yeah, that's it. Luck in life." I patted his head and turned around walking to my room. My room was the last door on the hallway and midway through it my wrist was being tugged on and I twisted around.

"Wait. No. No. _NO_. You _cannot_ break up with me." He said.

"Yeah? And why not?" His eyes narrowed as he looked at me as if I had gone crazy.

"_Bella_… Why not?... Do I even _need_ to tell you?"

It all came back to me, just like that. Earlier I had thought it didn't matter anymore but the truth was that it did and the only reason I had pushed it to the back of my mind was because I wanted to avoid _this_. But suddenly it felt as if one way or another it was coming and if that was the case, which I knew it was, why to push it? _Clean cut and all._

All the time prior to our trip came fast forwarding on my mind and he _had_ been a crappy boyfriend, despite what I had told him. He had barely even been one. _Why are you with me?_ His question repeated through my mind over and over again and I realized I never had a good enough reason. He never gave me one. And he had _known_ it.

"It just makes sense, Edward." I said sadly, looking down to the floor as I tried to take my hand out of his grip, he wouldn't let me though.

"Sense? What makes sense if for you to tell me you're fucking kidding, Bella!" He yelled and I cringed, swallowing hard and trying to stop the tears from coming out of my watery eyes.

_Why does it __all make sense now? _

He must have noticed my reaction and let go of my hand as I tried to yank it away. "You can't really break up with me over a movie!" He replied desperately but more calmed nonetheless.

"You know it is not about the movie, Edward!" I looked up at him and glared. About a movie? How empty does he think I am?

"Then! What is this about?"

"About us! About you and me! Are you so dense you don't even see that much!" I yelled and poked his chest once. I could hear the door being opened and I took a step away trying to calm myself down as I took off my glasses and wiped my hands over my eyes. Edward didn't though.

"Hey kids. How was your-"

"What is it about us that is making you… making you do this?" I looked away from my mom practically insulted. Where do you live, Edward? Have we been in the same relationship the last two years?

"WE DON'T WORK ANYMORE!" I yelled at him and I could hear my mom gasping from the top of the stairs.

"Wh- What are you talking about?" He asked much softer, his voice wavering as a single tear that covered most of my view threatened to come out. I could still see my mom and for no reason at all I spat at her to go somewhere else. I looked down to the floor after that, forgetting a question had been asked to me. "Bella?"

"I… I…" The tear finally rolled down my cheek and Edward instinctively reached out to wipe it but I flinched away from his touch and did it myself. "I'm tired of this." A low sob escaped my throat and despite my resistance Edward pulled me to his chest with an arm tight around my shoulders.

"Tell me what is not working. I _will_ fix it." He whispered in my ear as my entire body trembled "I _can't_ loose you…" I hated this. I pushed away from his chest and stood at a good arm length distance still not looking at him.

"I don't know, Edward. Being with you _used_ to be easy, natural, but it just keeps getting tougher and tougher and I'm not sure that's what I want."

"God, Bella," He gripped his hair roughly before looking back, his eyes reddened. "Tell me what I can do. This can't be something definite." His voice crackled and his eyes were pleading. I couldn't help the sob that followed and retreating away from him as he stepped closer.

I simply crossed my arms over my chest and looked down. "Not definite, at least I don't think so." As selfish as it was I wanted the chance to regret all this. "Give me some time, Edward."

"Can't you use, at least, a better excuse?" I looked up because of his tone. He had his eyes narrowed, darker and glaring at me in a way that physically hurt me. As our eyes met he spat a 'Fuck it' and turned around. I followed suit.

"Edward! It's not an excuse! I- I- EDWARD!" He turned back with a blank expression that surprised me even more and suddenly I couldn't say something else but "What were you going to tell me on the hospital, that night?" His eyes hardened immediately and shook his head.

"Why does it even matter anymore? You already broke up with me." And with that he turned and skipped down the stairs dodging Renée's questions with a _'Go ask her. I've got no idea.'_ He shrugged on his jacket hastily and within the next two minutes his tires were screeching as he sped away. I stood there, the tears falling freely down my cheeks.

I was thankful Mom didn't follow Edward's advice and, when I could finally move, went to my room alone. I sat on the sill and looked out the window. My mind was completely blank and stayed that way the rest of the night until Dad came into the room around dawn.

"Bella? What are you doing up?" He sounded surprised. I guess mom didn't get the chance to talk to him last night.

"I… I guess I couldn't sleep." My hoarse voice sounded alien even to myself and, of course, I couldn't fool my dad. He walked to me and sat at the other extreme of the sill. I couldn't help but remember the last person that had been on that same spot.

He reached out a hand to my cheek and only then I noticed I was still crying, probably never stopped. "Why are you crying, Bella? What's wrong?" He sounded extremely worried, not that I could blame him. I had done my good share of things to cause this reaction from him. I shook my head, sniffed and wiped my face with the knees of my pyjamas pants.

"Um, you fought with Edward?" I was thankful he was trying but he was not doing a good job. I simply laughed scornfully and shook my head again. He kept throwing questions randomly and I kept ignoring him until he sighed frustrated and cupped my chin turning me to see him. "Okay, that's it. _What_ happened?" I moved my face from his grasp, sighed, looked back to the clearing sky and whispered.

"I broke up with him." He gasped and his eyes opened as wide as saucers.

"_Why?_" He asked incredously and I cringed.

"I'd rather not talk about it." He sighed, stood up and kissed my head.

"Okay, but just… go to bed." Of course, he would end up the conversation like that. He was just reaching the door when my phone started ringing again. It had ringed and beeped the entire night, providing the only flashes of light in the room. I assumed it was him but not even if God was the one dialling I'd have picked up.

Dad stood by the door and right before when I knew it'd stop he crossed the room to the bed and picked it up. _What the hell?_

"I'm not Bella… Don't you think it's a tad late to be calling?... Edward! Edward! Calm down!... No, she's asleep… Yes, asleep… Well, it's not my fault!... Listen, whatever it is, just let her get over it." He threw the phone back to my bed and met my gaze. "If I was you I'd call him." And he left the room. I was not going to call him, I promised myself, I'd just see the texts.

_**Bella, please pick up.**_

_**Bella, I need to talk to you.**_

_**Bella, please…**_

_**I'm sorry.**_

_**Don't do this. **_

_**Tell me why.**_

_**Let's just talk, okay?**_

_**I'm not letting this be the end.**_

_**I love you. I can't be without you.**_

_**I miss you already.**_

And there were tons like that, with few variations though the same meanings. I erased all the messages, one by one, and took the battery out as it beeped once more. I curled up in the bed under the covers, the tears still falling freely. Ironically enough, it was a sunny day and it was blindingly bright. I still managed to sleep, though.

When I woke up again my head was hurting so bad I could barely open my eyes and the blinding light coming from the window was not helping. I groaned when I tried standing up, my body feeling completely sore. I went to the bathroom to freshen up and dragged myself back to the room just to crawl back under the covers.

I thought that maybe I had overreacted, and that maybe I was just imagining things. I even got so far to think that my dad had been right all this time. But deep inside me, I knew I hadn't overreacted and the truth was what I had come to realize. And well, about my dad… He'd probably be thrilled.

I kept replaying moments between us and they all seemed wrong. I don't know why, but they just did. Everything in my mind became fake and worthless. I moved the covers from over my head and reached for my phone to put the battery back on. After ignoring all the missed calls, voicemails, and texts I went through the numbers, hesitating over a specific one I thought I wouldn't have to use again. With my thumb against the send button I sighed and threw the phone away from me.

After that last day I had promised myself I wouldn't need to use the number anymore. I don't even know why I never deleted it. I was supposedly stronger than that. If I had a problem I was supposed to be able to handle it wisely. With my fisted hands pressed to my eyes I tried to stop my thoughts from going _there_.

It was useless though, and I even got as far as to standing up and walking halfway to the bathroom. I stopped myself by thinking of my dad's concern last night. I had promised myself also that I wouldn't put them through_ that_ again. I paced around the room with my right wrist cradled by my left hand. I focused enough to feel my heart plumping blood, constricting and stretching again. It was calming, has always been.

I kept pacing around my room, feeling as if the room was shrinking in but something kept me in. I knew that if I went out Mom would made questions I did not want to answer. And then Dad would get worried, again.

I don't know how long I stayed walking around the room but the slam of the front door being closed brought me out of my daze and out of curiosity I went to the window and moved the curtain enough to see who had come out. Of course I didn't expected to see what I saw.

Edward's car was parked across the street, he was standing in front of it, his eyes focused on something in his hands. How long had he been here? I hadn't heard my phone beeping since I put the battery back on. Then I noticed Mom was walking towards him and he nearly jumped when she was close enough and I assumed, said something.

They talked for few minutes and I couldn't help but wish I could hear them. My phone rang and absently minded I answered it.

"_I don't know, Renée. I mean… We were just watching a movie."_ Frowning, I pulled the phone away from my ear to see who had called. My mom. I went back to the window and realized she was holding her phone on her hand while she talked to Edward.

"_Come on, Edward, there must have been something else."_ There was silence for a while and through the window I could see Edward gripping his hair. "She did tell me there was something going on…"

"_Yeah! But we talked about it! And she told me we were okay!" _

"_But-"_

"_We even went through the week just fine! I… Agh! She complains about me not talking to her but she does the exact same thing! How am I supposed to know what's wrong with her?"_

"_In that case, how is she supposed to know exactly what's going on your mind?"_ Thanks Mom.

"_I don't know but fu- agh! I didn't break up with her!"_ For the next few minutes all I could hear was laboured breathing before a lingering sigh went through the line. _"How am I supposed to try and make things right if I don't even know what went wrong?"_ His voice was barely audible and that plus the stance he had was enough for the tears to come out.

"_You don't know, Edward?" Mom asked pointedly._

"_No."_

"_No?"_

"_I… maybe, but… She would have told me if it was the reason I think it might be." Huh? _

"_Hmmm, and what is that reason? Because, Edward, I think you're a nice guy and all but if you hurt Bella I promise I'll kill you myself." _

"_You should pull out a gun already, Renée."_ He said simply, his voice empty.

"_What the fuck did you do, Edward?"_ I didn't even know my mom cursed… Her tone was full of venom and I tensed not knowing what to expect from his answer.

"_I… um…_" He was cut off by a car that parked in front of them and a horn was heard. I recognized the car as one of my mom's friends and Mom turned to the car and then the call was disconnected. I threw the phone to the bed before focusing back on Edward. He looked back to his hands that were still clutched tightly around something before looking up, right to my window and even though I knew he couldn't see me I jumped right behind the curtain.

The curtain was sort of see through, though and I kept looking at him. I just couldn't help it. He looked away and back to his hands. My phone beeped.

_**Bella, I'm outside. Talk to me when you feel like doing so. I love you. –E**_

My heart skipped a beat and I stayed there staring at the screen, debating whether to go downstairs or not. The door slammed closed again and I peaked through the curtains, Renée was nowhere to be seen.

With a determined sigh, I pressed send.

_**I need time. I love you, too. –B **_

_**You can have all the time yo**__**u need, Baby. Just come down here for a sec. I won't try anything, I promise. I just want to see you. –E **_

I kept looking through the window and he kept looking towards the window. After a while he looked back down and my phone beeped in my hands.

**_You are not coming, are you? Bella, just tell me what I did wrong. –E _**

I didn't reply again and after a while he gave up, climbing back into his car and driving away. I didn't even know myself what had gone wrong. I just knew there _was_ something wrong.

And I wanted to know what it was.

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**In case you're wondering, the movie they were watching is Made of Honor with Patrick Dempsey and well, it is pretty much my favorite movie ;)**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Ghs **


	5. Chapter 5

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

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**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 5**

**'Cause Love Only Comes **  
**Once In A While **  
**And Knocks On Your Door**  
**And Throws You A Smile**  
**And Takes Every Breath, **  
**Leaves Every Scar,**  
**Speaks Through Your Soul**  
**And Sings To Your Heart **  
**But If I Knew Then **  
**What I Know Now**  
**I'd Fall In Love.**

**If I Knew Then - Lady Antebellum**

**EPOV**

I didn't want to go home. It was empty. I was alone. So I drove around town for hours, avoiding the driveway I'd been first. I drove to Port Angeles and even considered going all the way up to Seattle but it was already too late and I was sure the daily call from my mom was to come. I didn't want to go home though.

The house was eerily big and quiet and if I ever so slightly sighed, it'd be hear in all three floors. It nearly caused me a panic attack last night. The walls were all white and the furniture in tanned colours only made me sicker. As I was just hitting the Welcome to Forks sign my phone beeped in the seat next to me. I sighed knowing it was my mom and not the person I wanted to talk the most.

"I'm driving, Mom." I said in an attempt to cut the call short.

"Where are you?" I reached to turn the radio off and ran the hand I held my phone with through my hair.

"Um, nowhere. I… The house creeps me out." I admitted and with a sigh I ran a hand through my hair again.

"Go to the Swans' then." As if I could.

"Yeah… I was heading home already, Mom."

"Oh, okay then. Did you have dinner already?" I looked to the dashboard. Eleven thirty-eight.

"Of course, Mom." I looked up briefly, thinking about when I had eaten for the last time. Um, it had been the day before at noon and it had only been a lousy sandwich.

"Okay, bye. I love you." I hung up and threw the phone back to the passenger seat. I turned to the pizza place because I knew that I had to eat something even if I was already groaning at the mere idea of eating. I was sitting on a stool in front of the counter waiting for my order when a booming laugh I knew well enough covered my ears. Instinctively, I turned on the stool and saw Emmett and his girlfriend walking in. _Great._

They hadn't seen me so I took that to my advantage and turned back, leaning my elbows on the counter with my head between them. Not enough, though.

"Cullen! Is that you?" Ah, here goes nothing. I put on my winning smile and turned to face him.

"Emmett, what's up?" I bumped fists with him and nodded towards the blonde next to him. "Rosalie." She nodded back with a scowl on her face. Well, I deserve it even if it was useless now.

"When did you come back man?" He asked, taking a seat next to me with Rosalie standing between his knees.

"Um, I've been here since the twentieth."

"How come we haven't seen you?"

"Um," I ran a hand through my face; the lack of sleeping was finally getting to me. "Bella had sort of an accident and is in a cast. The Chief insists on her staying home so I've been hanging out at her place." Until yesterday, that is.

"Oh, so whipped, Cullen." Emmett laughed and Rosalie hit his arm as if scolding him.

"And how is that little girlfriend of yours?" Emmett asked, craning her neck as if looking for her. Yeah, I wish she'd appear from the restroom or something.

"Um, Bella?" I asked indifferently and Rosalie's head snapped up.

"Whom else, you idiot? Or is there_ someone_ else?" The kid that had taken my order came to us and placed my pizza in front of me and I took my wallet out looking for cash.

"Rosie," Emmett scolded, letting me know he was another person who knew.

"Actually, _Rosie_," I threw the money over the counter. "There's no one right now." I heard her _'what?'_ from behind me as I walked out. Damn her. No, _Fuck her_.

This was bad enough as it was and she thought she have any right to judge me? She, the one that breaks up with Emmett at least once a week just because she's so vain and empty that needs all the men drooling over her? I don't think she gets to judge me. We're both just as bad.

I hit the steering wheel as I realized I had to pass by Bella's house on my way home. I hit a hundred thirty as I passed the street. If she wanted space and time then she'd have all the fucking time and all the fucking space she needed. This time, when I hit the steering wheel, my palm actually hurt and I had to flex my hand several times to ease the pain.

I mean, fuck… I know I deserved the kick down the curb Bella gave me. I fucking know it. But, shit, not over whatever stupid thing she did it. Okay, if someone had told her about Tanya, cool, I'd get it but I –Agh! It doesn't even make sense! We were perfectly fine the entire day, the entire week for that matter, and then she comes with that out of the blue? Where is the logic to it?

And about all the other stuff, we had already talked about it. I thought we had come to an agreement. I thought she'd let me think things through before I told her what had been causing my mood swings.

However, that fucking movie was so fucking stupid and Bella had been fucking drooling over the fucking guy.

_Yeah? And which romantic comedy is not stupid and with a doll-face starring it?_

"Agh! Shut up!" I was fucking tired of that voice in the back of my head. I kicked the front door open and then kicked it closed before going through every room of the house turning lights and TVs and stereos and everything that could make noise before setting on the living room. Once again staring at the phone. My hands twitched to reach out and just press one. The fucking voice, though, repeated _the_ words.

_Give me some time, Edward_

And I had snapped at her, I should have told her that it was okay, that we both had to calm down, that I loved her and that I'd wait. But no, I spat at her and told her it was an excuse and ran away. She asked me what I had almost told her and I snapped at her again.

In that moment the only coherent thought that ran through my mind was _'What's the point now'_ and I told her so. But then when I was in this creepy house all alone and crying and even a little drunk and I realized that more than just wanting her, I needed her. It had been what? No more than three hours and I already felt as if I was dying, as if I had left my heart in her doorstep. And I knew I was the one to bring this all to myself but it still hurt, it still hurt so much that I felt suffocated and walked to the yard to try and call.

I kept pressing one over and over again even if I hadn't gotten an answer even after hours of repeating my actions. Needless to say, I was more than surprised when the Chief had answered and without knowing it was him I started talking shit into the phone, begging for her not to hang up. Then I snapped at him for no reason at all when he told me she was asleep, how could she sleep when I could barely breath? That was simply unfair.

However, I decided to follow his advice –he was a wise man, after all– and let her get over it. Well, that was it when I realized she was no going to see me when I stopped by her house today. It just felt wrong, I left angry when I wasn't. I wanted to see her and maybe risk an 'I love you'. But I wouldn't try for her to take me back right then.

After the alcohol had seeped out of my system I came to the conclusion that our relationship wasn't that good anymore, if it has ever been good to begin with. So, we needed time to fix the relationship as it was before I could go all ballistic and tell her about Tanya. If we were strong enough when I tell her about it then maybe I'd still have another chance.

I texted her too, because I fucking knew she'd read them. Her brain works in unknown ways and she thinks that because the sender doesn't know whether she reads the text or no, she has some sort of power over the situation. Weird, I know.

It was all weird. And when Renée had come outside to talk to me it became even weirder. Without thinking I had told her that she might as well just kill me because even if I wasn't sure what had I done this time I knew that the time will come in which I'd really hurt her.

But then again, if the time and space shit is only that, senseless shit and she just got tired of me, what's the point? I mean, if she actually used it as an excuse and she doesn't want me back, why would I confess my sins to her? I'd just gained the hate of pretty much the entire town and it'd solve nothing.

I kicked my shoes off and picked the pepperoni on the slices of pizza and ate them, the rest of the box staying untouched. I turned on the TV and left it on the sports channel. There was a game of ping pong but it was not that I was actually watching so I just left it there. I threw my phone up in the air waiting for it to ring. I had thought it was complete useless but it rang.

My heart beat went up to the sky, my eyes widened and my hand started sweating just like that. I felt like a goddamn child and scowled at myself when I realized I had stayed frozen not even looking to the phone. It started ringing again and a loud _'Fuck'_ left my mouth.

I threw the phone to the fireplace. I didn't give a fuck anymore. I knew it was useless to wait for her call and even if she did call and I didn't pick up she'd call to the house phone. But I sure as hell wasn't answering _her_ calls.

I had never really though if a phone could burn but it was slightly recomforting to see mine burning down. It was as if it lost its form first and then little sparks adorned the surroundings as the hardware burned, I guessed.

I knew Mom and Dad wouldn't like it but I could always say it fell or that I'd accidentally dropped it into the pool or even maybe that I'd been robbed. Or even better, I could just go and buy a new one without telling them. Yeah, that would be it.

I guess I must have fallen asleep because next thing I remember was waking up, all sweaty, to the banging of my door. I groaned and when I tried to roll to the other side of the bed I ended up on the floor. I wasn't on my bed but in the couch in front of the fireplace, which would explain the sweat drops running down my face. With the hem of my shirt I cleaned my face and groaning and cursing, I walked to the door.

"Eddie! Baby!" Thin arms went around my neck and I stumbled backwards, shocked.

"Fuck, Tanya! What are you doing here!" I spat at her, looking out the door to see if someone had saw us. No. Good. I closed the door and turned to her.

"What do you mean, Baby? I missed you!" She yelled, and wrapped her arms around my neck again. This time tough, her mouth collided with mine and for few seconds I stood there in shock.

"Shit, Tanya! What the fuck are you doing!" I pushed her away as I raised my hand to wipe off my mouth. She looked hurt and I reminded myself that she had done nothing to me, and that she didn't really know we were over. Whatever it is we had was over. "Fuck, Tanya. I've told you not to come to my house." I said more calmly and she let out a sigh of relief, relief that'd soon disappear again.

"Is just that… You know… Since you dumped her." She said wrapping her arms around my waist.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

I placed my arms over hers to move her but she took it as if I was returning the embrace because she hugged me tighter. I felt extremely dirty. "Um… I did not do that, Tanya." No need to tell her Bella had done it herself.

"What?" She squealed taking a step backwards. "But, Eddie! You promised!" She cried out and I frowned at her.

"What exactly did I promise, Tanya?" I knew what I had told her, and it was neither a promise nor a guarantee I'd leave Bella over her. _As if._

"That you'd leave her!" I was very thankful I had the house to myself, right now.

"I never did that, Tanya. I would never do that. All I told you was that we'd talk about all this when I came back." She sniffed and I sighed before adding. "Look, you knew how things were… And even without it… Things_ have_ changed."

"What does that means, Eddie, huh?"

"Listen," I had a bad feeling that if I told her it was over it would definitely come back to me so I needed to think fast. "I want to be alone, _alone_ for a while. To sort out everything, Tanya."

"But, why?"

"Tanya? Do this _for me,_ please?" I felt like shit pulling that card but, what hadn't I got from that?

"Okay."

"Tanya? You need to leave. There's a reason I told you not to come here."

"Okay, Eddie." She walked to me and pecked me on the lips, I cringed. "I love you." I shuddered.

"See you around." She left but I knew it was not over and I cursed myself for ever seeing her way.

She was not even that pretty. I mean, seriously? What was wrong in my head? If I had Bella, why on earth would I have come to Tanya? My Bella was way prettier and way a better kisser and way better… Yeah, you get it.

I felt dirty, incredibly so, and I pretty much ran to the shower and spend there at least an hour, until the point my whole body was reddened because of the hot water. When I came out of the bathroom I saw my alarm clock and realized it was around ten on the morning and I had a long day to fulfil with nonsense before I suffered a breakdown.

As I looked through drawers for something to wear I shook my head so the drops of water wouldn't fall over my eyes and I caught glimpse of something I had never really paid attention. My desk was pretty much full with my laptop and iPod and books and dirty shirts and my wallet and a calendar and Post-Its and my last year school bag and lots of paper that had come out of a binder. Despite all the mess over it I noticed the picture sticking out of the glass that covered the desk. I reached out to pick it up. It was a picture I had there just because it was something a boyfriend would do but I had never really cared about it, by the time I saw it the first time the light in my eyes that was so clear on the picture had disappeared already.

I actually remembered that day; it was even before we were official. It was a Friday and it was the usual day my mom would invite her family over for dinner. They knew we were seeing each other so when the dessert was over they dismissed us because they were supposedly going to talk about some business. We didn't really care and I had been aching all night to kiss her so I was fine with it. However, we were still in a house full of our parents and we couldn't go upstairs or to any room with closed doors for that matter.

"_I missed you." I whispered at her as I made her stop in the hallway next to the kitchen that __leads to the backdoor. I grabbed her other hand and gave both a light squeeze. She smiled and it made my day._

"_You saw me like, three hours ago." She giggled when I grazed the tip of her nose with mine._

"_Yeah, well. Too much." I bent down and was about half an inch from touching her lips when a flash lighted the whole hallway. Esme._

She had laughed at our frazzled expressions and I was mad at her for interrupting us and because Bella refused to let me kiss her for the rest of the night. I sighed and traced our forms on the picture.

I was insanely happy those first months, what the hell happened?

I looked through my drawers for a stapler and stapled the picture to the cork board I had over the desk, that way I'd be able to see it at any moment. I kissed the tip of my finger and raised it to the two years younger Bella.

I looked to the picture and smiled once more before I walked out of the room to the third floor where the studio was. There I saved all my crap and no one ever went there so I was fine. I had my piano and my guitars there. More than a room it was like an attic because it didn't have windows, unlike the room next door that had huge windows.

I liked it because of it, because it was dark and all wood and it looked like taken out of a movie, plus, I couldn't hear anything that came from outside.

I began fiddling with my guitar before my fiddling turned into a song, the first I learned. By the time that summer hit, I had gotten to meet the real Bella, a bit. And so I knew she loved guys that could play the guitar. If you asked her, she'd tell you I play since I've been twelve but if you asked me and there was no one around I'd tell you the truth and I'd tell you that I was sixteen when I learned to play one song. Bella had this sick obsession with The Cranberries and I begged Carlisle to teach me how to play Linger.

"_Hey, what are you doing?" Bella asked, looking at me through her eyelashes as she dried her hair with __the black towel I had been looking for hours. Oh, well…_

"_Hmm, nothing. Is your little friend gone already?" I refused to look at her, so I ran my thumb through the strings._

"_Yeah," She chuckled. "I don't get why you hate him, though."_

"_I don't." She came to sit on the floor in front of me and swallowed. She was wearing that damn bikini again. Yeah, the blue one that left _nothing_ to the imagination. The one I loved seeing her in when we were on the house pool, _alone_. "Your face is all red, by the way." I added bitterly, she had spent the entire goddamn day with this guy and I am sure as hell she didn't wear sun block_. Great, Cullen, now you sound like the Chief.

"_Yeah, I know." She scrunched up her nose. "Play something."_

"_What do you want me to play?" Please, let me choose it myself._

"_Um, whatever. I just want to listen how you play." I looked up, smirked and winked at her before starting on the _one_ song I knew. "I love that song." I had to bit the inside of my cheek to stop the _'I know'_ that was coming. She began singing it and her voice wasn't perfect but it was nice and it made my day. _

_I was halfway through the song and mentally patting my back since it sounded good enough when Bella placed her tiny hand over mine to stop me. I looked up at her and she was _way_ too close._

"_I know you're jealous about Jake." I started to talk to deny something she was entirely right about but she stopped me. "But it is okay, I broke up with him."_

"_Why?" _

"_He doesn't know how the play." She patted my hand, winked and left. _

"_Yes!" I hissed and fisted the air when she was out of earshot, or so I thought because she started chuckling and only then I heard the wood of the stairs. _

Never in my life had a girl made me so nervous, and that night when I kissed her for the first time I nearly missed.

I smiled at the memory and even let out something that sounded like a chuckle but I had a lump on my throat that made it all wrong.

The song ended and I tried swallowing down the lump that was still on my throat. It didn't work and I just began playing with the strings because pretty much every song I knew held a meaning and a memory. I might not have been the same throughout the years but I still appreciated Bella and cared about her, it just wasn't the same. But there was something there and even if I was absent when I was with her I couldn't deny that I never stopped feeling something for her. Yes, the feelings diminished or more like other feelings took control, but they were still there, I guess.

I had no idea what to do now. I knew she wanted time but, how much time? Or, was she really looking for time or for me to be after her? Do I disappear completely or let her know I'm thinking of her?

I threw the guitar out of my way and stood up. I began walking around the room, the wood squeaking every time I stepped near the couch. When it got to be more than I could handle I sat on the couch and my mind was going crazy with options and memories and questions and answers and flashbacks and songs and gestures and girls and movies and kisses and fights and friends and pictures and…

I couldn't keep up with all of that.

I needed out. I needed to be away and I needed to do something Bella have strictly forbid me to do. I needed the unique relief the action brought to me and the freedom and in no time I was in the garage caressing the black material considering. Hell, no one would know.

I jogged to the cabinet I had for myself down here and opened it, taking out my jacket and my keys. I still don't know how I had convinced Carlisle to buy me the bike last year but I was glad I did.

I pressed the button to open the door as I hoped onto the bike, igniting the engine. I hadn't done it since the day I got it when, in a rush of excitement, I had gone to Bella to take her out for a ride along the beach. It was during a time I was trying to make myself fall for her and I got kind of close but Tanya was still around so it didn't work. I sped away from the house and zipped up my jacket.

She had told me that there was no way on earth that she'd climb onto one of these and told me at least a thousand ways I could get killed more graciously and I had just laughed at her and kissed her, telling her to shut up and just go for a ride with me.

She shook her head and eerily calm –something completely unlike her– told me, _"Edward, you're not going anywhere with that bike, did you hear me?" _I could have laughed again and sped away, instead I hoped down and went to her and tried to reason with her that if she went for me just that time, I'd left it parked on my garage. She shook her head again and I found myself wishing I had gone to Tanya, she would have found it hot. I tried again by kissing her and distracting her but her answer was still no. I pouted, I begged, I whined, I got mad, I everything. But she told me to stop asking.

I don't know why but the fact that she was so determined on the whole bike thing was such a turn-on and since it was Saturday and Renée was in my mom's reading club and Charlie was in the station I dragged her into the house and made out with her on the couch until keys were heard through the door after few hours. The entire following week I ignored Tanya and her advances.

I drove nowhere in particular and I knew that if someone saw me they wouldn't recognize me. No one in Forks had a Harley and no one but Bella and my dad had seen mine so I was free. I needed to get a new phone before Mom called so that's where I headed first. I was driving illegally fast and it felt incredible, the wind on my face and the green blur made out of trees and the soft purr I could distinguish and the vibration between my legs and… for a brief moment I forgot.

I forgot about my fuck-ups and about everything I had done right, I forgot about options and memories and questions and answers and flashbacks and songs and gestures and girls and movies and kisses and fights and friends and pictures and… everything.

Even though it didn't last long it was so worth it that I promised myself I'd take my bike out more often. I had to slow down when I reached the city but even there I was going slightly faster than allowed. I stopped just enough to get the phone –luckily the same number and pin– and to go to a bathroom. I drove around the city once and then drove back home.

The ride back took slightly longer because when I hit the road it was already darkening and I wasn't that suicidal enough to get myself killed at night, on a deserted road.

Just because I needed it and because I knew the relief wouldn't last forever, when I was already in Forks I stopped by the grocery store. The manager was my mom's friend and when I made my request she easily complied. She even awwwed when I answer her question as to why I made the request. I chuckled nervously as I paid and the casher shot me a wink. Fuck, can't they leave me alone?

I drove to Bella's house and noticed neither Renée's nor Charlie's cars were parked on the garage. In their places were a red M3 and a black Land Rover. _Fuck it_, I thought.

I left the bouquet of red roses on the _'Welcome'_ mat, pulled out a pen from my pocket and resting the card on the door I scribbled down.

_**I know I told you I'd wait as long as you want me to and I meant it but, don't take so long, please? I miss you**__** already, so much.**_

_**Yours,**_

_**Edward**_

_**PS:**__** I love you.**_

I placed the card between two roses and put the bouquet back on the floor. I rang the doorbell and jogged back to my still turned on bike. Before I drove down the curb I saw the door being opened.

Feeling somewhat relieved, I parked the bike in the garage and smiled at the dirt patches over the tires. They were the prove that I had used it and I loved them. I put the jacket back on the cabinet along with the keys and turned off the lights before jogging up to the kitchen where I ate a slice of pizza from last night since I was feeling slightly better.

I ran up to the attic –where I'd be spending the night– and finally took the phone out of my pocket. It had vibrated when I was a block away from my house but I had smiled and told myself I wouldn't see it after I was into the house and up here. I don't know why I had to be up here but that was the promise I made so here I am with a hand on my hair, my head bent down to where I held the phone and a silly smile over my face.

_**I'll try not to. I miss you, too.**__** –B **_

After around ten minutes of staring at the screen of my phone it beeped again.

_**PS: I love you too. So much. –B **_

With another sillier and bigger smile on my face I pocketed my phone and said to myself,

"Yeah, we are gonna get through _all_ this."

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** Okay, first of all, thanks for reading. You have no idea how thrilled I am that there's someone out there reading this. But I'd really like to know exactly how many people are reading this so if you could just leave a review saying you're indeed reading I'd appreciate it. It doesnt have to become a regular occurrence, it'd be just for this one time. **

**Now, I'm sorry about posting twice the chapter. I had some sort of problem with the first one and when I opened it I was like ah? But yeah...**

**Since a couple readers have told me how much of an ass Edward is I decided to put those little flashbacks because honestly I don't picture him as a bad person just a little lost... **

**Again, thanks for reading and a special thanks to those of you who review. You guys make my day. I love hearing about you, last week I couldnt answer to your reviews but I promise I will if you do decide to review again.**

**Ghs**


	6. Chapter 6

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all. **

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**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 5**

**If I could go back , that's the first thing I would do**  
** I swear that I would do my best to follow through**  
** Come up with a master plan**  
** A homerun hit, a winning stand**  
** A guarantee and not a promise**  
** That I'll never let your love slip from my hands**

**If it's the Beaches** - **The Avett Brothers**

**EPOV**

I groaned and rolled to the side when the noise wouldn't stop. The noise was still there and I placed a pillow over my head. _Shut up already! _And then someone knocked my door. _Just fucking leave me alone._

"Edward," My mom said sweetly after opening the door. She walked next to my bed and the sound finally stopped. "Time to get up." I rolled onto my back and glared at her.

"At-" I reached for my phone on the bedside table and looked the hour. "Ah, fuck!" I jumped to a sitting position and rubbed my eyes.

"Edward." My mom scolded and I looked up at her, smiling.

"Sorry, Mom." She rolled her eyes. "I forgot, okay?" She nodded and kissed my head. After she left the room I groaned again and lied back on the bed, hugging my pillow. My eyes were closing again when I remembered I got to see her today. I was out of my bed and taking a shower in no time.

It's been a week, more or less, since the day with the bike and the flowers and shit. I texted her every night before I went to bed but I never got a reply and I haven't seen her. I know she's been hanging out with her friends because now I am Facebook-stalking her. _I know, creepy_. Desperate needs ask for desperate measures.

On my way to the closet I turned on the computer and put on my password. I pursed my lips as I briefly wondered what to wear, with a shrug of my shoulders I put on jeans and my old jersey with a hoodie over it. I stood in front of the computer as I slid my shoes on. I sighed with relief as I noticed I was still listed as Bella's boyfriend. _I know, sad_. But, what else could I do? She was giving me no signs of what should I expect out of her _time _and it was driving me fucking crazy.

Looking around my room I grabbed a binder and some pens and threw them on my bag before hanging it over my shoulder. I unplugged my phone and took my keys before I went downstairs. As always on school day –I know, I fucking hate it, too. Summer's gone– a huge breakfast was waiting for me, and as always I drank the juice and grabbed a toast before kissing Mom's cheek and walking out of the house.

I threw my bag over the passenger seat, for it was going to be empty the entire ride, and took a deep breath before putting the keys on the ignition. I plugged my iPod and played something, hoping for it to calm me down. No such luck. I didn't even know exactly why I was so nervous. I just was.

By this point, Bella telling me we were officially done would have been better than this uncertainty. I just… I just knew _nothing_. I didn't know what to expect of today but I _was_ expecting something, anything. I needed a smoke, as soon as possible, but I wasn't going to do it in the car because I knew the stench would stay and if my parents for some reason were to get into my car I'd be dead. I took a detour and drove by her house, her car was not on the garage.

I parked on my usual spot and, sighing, I reached for my bag and threw the door closed on my way out. I walked to a table and sat on it, rummaging in my bag for the box I knew I had there. I took it out and lighted up the cigarette before bringing it to my mouth. Teachers didn't really care and if they did, their parking lot was on the other side of the school, on the front.

My friends started arriving and joining me on the table, if they were there expecting me to talk to them they were mistaken and a little stupid since I hadn't mentioned one word to any of them. I was too lost on my thoughts. That is until my one real friend, besides Emmett, sat next to me –the only one not afraid to do so– and patted my shoulder.

"Jazz," I greeted and he nodded. He looked around and frowned. "She's not here yet." He nodded and leaned over his knees. I knew who he was looking for, usually she would be either sitting next to me or on the table beside the one I was on.

"How was France, _mon __ami_?" I smiled, dropping the cigarette to the bench and pressing my foot to it.

"Real good." My eyes were fixed on the entrance, waiting for the light blue and white car to appear. "How was your summer?"

"Same as always, man." He chuckled. "_Bo-ring_." I shook my head, laughing. "How come your girl is not with you?" I looked at him pointedly. He didn't get it and I turned back to watching the entrance.

"Don't ask." He was going to do it though, I could see it in his face but the bell rang and as the freak he is he rushed into the main building. I was the only one still on the parking lot and I glanced one last around the parking lot. I sighed and looked to my schedule and walked into the building right when the second bell rang.

I walked into the room I was supposed to be and found a spot in the last row. It was the first day so the teacher spent the hour presenting himself and introducing the subject. As if Calculus needs any kind of introduction. Rough and boring as shit would have sufficed. I was not really complaining, I was more than okay with wasting a complete hour on something no one cared but I was just moody.

When the class was done I stopped by what would be my last locker and put the book the teacher have given us. In my case, it would stay there most of the year. I walked into my next class and the process repeated itself with English. The only difference was that Bella's name was called on the list but she was nowhere to be seen. I walked out of that class and headed to the next one but I heard a loud, loud squeal and I turned my head to watch.

Felix had his arms around a brunette –_my_ brunette– and she was completely wrapped around him. Her arms were around his neck, her face hid on his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. I never thought it was actually possible to see red but in that moment I did, it was turning into burgundy… purple, even. He was spinning her around and in other circumstances –and other people– I would have rolled my eyes but in that moment I was only thinking about how she had me hanging on a thread all week and the day I expect to see her she throws herself into his arms, not mine… _his._ How is that fair?

I stormed towards where they were and right before I pushed Felix against one of the lockers Bella was on her feet again. Luckily. I hold Felix by the neck against the locker and put some more pressure when he started to protest.

"What the fuck, Bella!" I said looking at her who was wide eyed and completely flustered.

"Edward!" She tried to move my hand but I only tightened it around his neck. "What's your problem? Let him go!" She yelled.

"What's my problem? You've avoided me all damn week! You weren't here all morning! I wanted to fucking see you! I've been waiting for some fucking sign! Anything! And when I do see you, you're… you're… Agh!" I pushed Felix harder one more time before I let him go and bent to pick up the bag that had fallen from my shoulder before storming away.

"Edward," She yelled after me and I turned, noticing the entire school was watching us intensely. _Great._ "You have no rights to tell who I can or cannot hug!" I stepped closer and since I haven't even taken three steps I was standing right in front of her.

"A hug? You consider that a hug!" I laughed sarcastically, "If that's the case I'm sure every guy right here would want a hug from-"

"So?" She cut me off, yelling even louder. "What's with you? Huh? What if I do go and _hug_ all of the guys in the school? Why would that be your fucking problem?" She raised an eyebrow, daring me.

"How about the fact I'm your boyfriend, _Baby_? Wouldn't that concede me some-"

"Boyfriend?" She laughed and my anger disappeared completely as I felt my heart breaking. "Edward, _Honey_, last time I checked we were no longer together." A collective gasp was heard around me as I took a step back, still gazing into her eyes. The bell rang and people started moving but I couldn't. She didn't move either, her gaze didn't waver and the expression in her face didn't change. I took another step backwards and looked to the floor before turning and walking away.

_You wanted your answer, didn't you? _

With my hand tightly around the strap over my shoulder I walked into three classes before I found mine. I walked to the last row again and leaned over the chair, staring an invisible spot over the front wall. Throughout the day I dragged around the school to where I needed to be. At lunch I… I just couldn't go there and see her so I hid in my car with loud music blasting through my headphones. I didn't allow myself to think. I went through the motions and that was it.

At last I had Study Hall and under normal circumstances I would have signed and went to look for her to convince her to ditch and go somewhere. Of course, these was no normal circumstances and so I was sitting with a book opened in front of me as I stared into the same invisible spot I had stared all day. Jasper sat in front of me and didn't say anything, just sat there. He must have heard.

He shifted on his seat and raised an eyebrow at me. "Coach said we began practices next week."

"Okay."

"Okay." He fidgeted some more before he looked up at me again. "Listen, I don't know if you know but Tanya have told everyone that you and her were like together." My eyes shot down at his. I thought Felix was making it up. "No one believed her, but I know it is kinda true." I looked away. "Is that why Bella…?"

"No, that's not it." I shook my head. "I was planning to tell her, Jazz, you have to believe me." He shrugged.

"It's up to you what you do, Cullen. I was just wondering why she, um… you know." I nodded and sighed.

"I guess it's better like this, isn't it?" I felt my eyes stinging and grimaced when I realized this. "I mean, I've been an ass to her. If she wants out, she wants out. I guess." I sighed again and tried to convince myself what I was just saying was true.

The bell rang and he stood up. "There's this party at Lauren's tonight. If I were you I would go." I nodded, hating myself for actually considering it. I stood up after him and walked out behind him. When he opened the door there was a girl and he crashed against her and let out some curses as he straightened himself. I don't know why, he could be a good friend and shit, but he sucked with girls. I mean, he somehow managed to have every girl begging for him but he just treated them like shit.

_So did you, asshole._

I walked past him and caught a glimpse of the girl that was nearly crying as he spat at her. She must be new. I shook my head and waited by my locker as the hallways emptied so I could go to my car as peacefully as I could. As I pushed the door open I realized it had started raining so I pulled my hoodie over my head and walked to where I had left my car. As I was driving away I noticed the blue and white car was nowhere to be seen. Again.

The volume of the music was so high that the lyrics weren't even recognizable anymore. I didn't care. A block from my house I turned it off, I really wanted to avoid talking to my mom about how great my day had been. I parked in the driveway, not wanting to make any noise with the garage door, and ran to the front door. Once inside, I tried to take off my shoes faster than usual but it was useless. I was untying my left one when mom's voice came from the kitchen five seconds before she went out.

"Oh, hey Edward."

"Hi, Mom." I pulled the hoodie out of my head and headed to the stairs.

"How was your day?" She began walking behind me.

"_Great._"

"And how's Bella?" I shook my head. _I guess you really need to tell them now._

"Oh, she's just _fine_, Mom." I answered darkly and she hummed, knowing something was wrong but deciding to leave it at that. I walked into my room and just because there were some manners in me I didn't close the door on her face as I threw the bag on my bed.

"Do you want to eat?"

"No, Mom." I went to lie on the bed, my face down to the pillows.

"You sure?" I reached blindly for my bag and pulled out my iPod.

"Yeah, Mom." I put on the headphones and again turned the volume so high I was sure my mom could hear it from downstairs. I stayed there for most of the afternoon not letting myself think and Mom came two more times asking if I needed something, then she came a third time to put away clean towels, then a fourth time to pick up my laundry and then I just stood up and locked the door.

After the sky had darkened my phone began vibrating on my pocket and I put it on the bed right by my ear. "Hel-"

"Open. The. Damn. Door." Carlisle's angry voice went through the phone and I sighed, hung up, turned off my music and went to open the damn door. He stood there with a murderous face and didn't say anything for a while; neither did I. "If your mom _ever_ calls me again worried about you locking yourself I'm taking the door out." He turned and I rolled my eyes with every intention of locking the door again. "Dinner's ready."

And in a two years younger Edward mode, I added, "I'm going out."

"You know your curfew." And he disappeared down the stairs. Great, now I needed to go out. _Just fucking great_. I sent a pin to Jasper asking if he was at Lauren's and only when he answered I changed my jersey for a black polo that was at the top of a pile of clean clothes my mom must have left at some point during the day.

I drove to the house even though it was just few blocks away and walked directly to the living room when some of my friends were sitting around the couches. The music was loud and my feet was tapping against the floor in rhythm with the beat making conversation nearly impossible and I downed a beer, two, three before I was disgusted enough about Emmett dry humping Rosalie on the couch in front of me.

With the fourth bottle of beer on my hand I headed to the kitchen and was grateful it was empty and the music was somewhat muffled through the walls. I finished the bottle and reached for another one from the sink and started drinking again. The fifth, sixth, seventh, and until the tenth beer were like that. I was feeling a little bit lightheaded and was somewhat grateful for that. Even if I had bullied my brain into not thinking all day long, I couldn't do anything about the hole forming on my chest.

People came in and out, they smiled, I smiled and it was good. I drank some more and sat on the counter, afraid I might fall if I stayed on my feet. For all I knew the party was at its full blast. I pulled out my phone and checked for the hour. If I stayed just one more hour I'd be breaking my curfew, I already had plans on staying three more. Jasper came in next and he patted my shoulder when he saw me, I asked him for a cigarette and handed me one before leaving. When I was done with it I threw it into the sink and went back to the bottle next to me.

I was humming the song that was playing with my eyes closed and didn't notice the hands on my thighs until a voice spoke on my ear. "I've missed you." I blinked my eyes few times before I recognized it was Tanya. I didn't have the strength in me to stop her so I let her kiss my neck and roam her hands over my back and chest. It was not as if it mattered anymore.

That was until her mouth pressed against mine, and even then I let her kiss me and I kissed her back for few minutes just for the sake of it. It was not as if it mattered anymore.

When she deepened the kiss I tasted bitterness rather than sweetness and it felt wrong. When she dug her hands beneath my shirt I felt long nails scraping my skin rather than soft fingers warming my skin and it felt wrong. And I was not drunk enough for it to feel right.

I pushed her away and stumbled my way out of the kitchen, she stomped past me and I ran a hand through my hair, not really caring. I blinked when I reached the living room again to accommodate my eyes and realized the couches were empty. I scanned the people dancing just for something to do and of course…

She hated coming with me to parties, she'd rather stay home or watch a movie. And I would have had to stay with her. I could count with one hand the times we've been to a party like this together. But of course, we break up and she's all for it. I swallowed hard and grabbed my fifteenth beer as I stared at her.

For the first time it didn't matter that it was a school day. Of course it wouldn't matter, she was all dressed up with her hair done and shit. She was wearing a sleeveless top which straps were black while the rest of it was white and over her left shoulder there was some sort of black flower, I think, and she had black jeans so tight that it looked as if they were fucking painted on.

Every time I had asked her to dance with me she sucked at dancing so we wouldn't dance. But there she was dancing with some fucking guy I didn't even recognize and was all smiles while the guy pulled her closer and closer. I swallowed down the last bit of my beer and threw it to the floor as I scanned once more the room. I spotted her by a pool table with some girls and some of my friends.

I was not drunk enough but I didn't care anymore and so I pushed my way into the crowd, hitting the guy's shoulder, and out of it until I reached the pool table and grabbed a hand far too big for mine and pushed her against a wall and started kissing her, hard.

Where brown curls should have been, blond burned hair was. Where I should have had to bend down a little, I was standing upright. Where sweetness should have been tasted, I tasted alcohol and menthol. Where little soft hands should have been caressing my nape, big rough hands were beneath my shirt. Where the kiss should have made me feel elated, I was feeling sick.

But, again, it was not as if it mattered anymore.

Suddenly I was not kissing her anymore and I was receiving a punch on my left cheek. I blinked myself back to consciousness before I fainted and realized Rosalie was the one that had hit me, she was standing there with her fiery eyes piercing into mine. That was not what called my attention though, few feet from where I was standing Bella was frozen, looking at me with so much pain over her expression that I winced and a weird noise escaped my throat. I also spotted the brown-shirted guy I had seen earlier standing behind her with his hands over his shoulders. And I wanted to fucking kill myself right then, it was Ben, and Angela was standing right next to them.

We made eye contact for half a second before she turned and stormed out of the house. The scene we had somewhat made was over and people went back to dancing. Instinctively, I reached to touch my cheek and winced. I shook my head and took one step in Bella's direction before a hand was gripping my arm, I shrugged myself free and took another step forward before the blonde bitch spoke and stood in front of me.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Emmett stood behind her and hold her arms between his hands.

I looked up at him. "Tell her to back the fuck off." Again, I shouldered my way into the crowd and out of it before I ran out of the house. The car I'd wanted to see earlier was right in front of the house and I spotted the door being closed. I ran faster and right as she was going to speed I stopped in front of the car, placing my hands over the hood. The inside of the car was dark and all I could see clearly were Bella's red eyes. We kept eye contact but she didn't turn off the engine, she just kept purring it.

"Bella please, please, _please_ let me explain." I had no idea what I was going to explain but I _had_ to say something; I couldn't let her leave just like that. She moved her arm over the passenger seat and looked back. Before she could do what she was planning on doing I made my way to her door and opened it, leaning over to take the keys out of the ignition. I stood between the door and her as she gripped the wheel so tightly her knuckles were turning white.

"What the fuck do you want, Edward?" She turned and pushed me away at the same time she got out of the car, she slammed the door closed and glared at me. Despite the fact I was taller, never in my life had I felt so small. I didn't say anything. "Give me my keys."

"Bella, ple-" She pushed me away with both her hands on my chest and I stumbled backwards. She kept doing it and I kept trying to get her to hear me. I was seriously about to cry, the punches hurt but it was nothing compared to the fact it was her punching. That was what hurt the most. I hit something hard and I looked behind me, ironically enough it was my own car. She began hitting harder and harder and tears were streaming down her face. I grabbed her wrists, stopping her, and looked up when she grunted and tried to free her hands.

"Let go, Edward!" She kept grunting and sobbing. I didn't want her to see me crying so I closed my eyes tightly and swallowed, trying to calm myself down.

"Calm down, Bella. _Please_." I begged and opened my eyes just to be met with hers directly. She stopped cursing and moving so I let go of her hands. She drew them away hastily and took a step backwards. I handed her back her keys.

"You wanted to explain, didn't you?" She said with a smirk. "What are you going to say? Huh?" No giving me chance to talk she continued, "You were drunk? Is that what you are going to say? Hmm, what else? You were _sad_?" She pouted sarcastically as her tone grew louder. "Oh no, I know!" She laughed before yelling. "You confused her with someone didn't you?" And that fucking smirk was back.

"For a matter of fact, Bella, I am sad. Fuck. Sad? Sad doesn't cover even part of it. I'm fucking heartbroken!" I took a step away from my car and closer to her. "Is the second time in the fucking day I see you all over a guy." And then it was my turn to smirk. "That's all the love you claim to have for me, isn't it?" Hurt flashed through her eyes before it quickly turned into anger and once again I was backing into my car.

"Are you fucking blind, Edward! Or did you drink yourself stupid? It was Ben! And Angela was right there with us!" She laughed again, but it wasn't daring or mockingly anymore. It was that kind of laughter when you're close to crying and you don't want to cry so you just laugh. And it broke my heart. "You know I don't like coming to these parties. The only reason I'm here is because I knew you'd be here. I wanted to fucking apologize!

"I wanted to tell you how sorry I was for how I treated you earlier. And more than anything I wanted to tell you what had been my real decision." She looked away as the words registered on my mind. _My real decision_. "You pissed me off! You had no right to do what you did! But then I felt like shit and I wanted to apologize." I reached for her hand but she took a step away. She walked to her car and I couldn't move. She stopped by her door and I still couldn't move. She turned with a dejected expression and looked to my shoes as she spoke. "If you don't believe me, check your phone, Edward." She shook her head and when she climbed into her car I should have stopped her but I didn't. When she turned on the engine I should have stopped her but I didn't. The car disappeared down the curb and I hastily took my phone out of my pocket. I had five missed calls and one voice mail.

"_Um, Edward… Hey, it's me. Um, can we talk? I mean… Ah, call me back, please. Oh, wait… Are you, um, you know… Going to Lauren's? Um, we could meet there… or not. I, um… Yeah, bye._"

I closed my eyes and hit my head with the door of my car. The voice mail had been left an hour or so after I had left my house. All of this could have been fucking avoided and, shit, I would have had her back.

_I so hate you, Cullen._

_Yeah, well, join the club._

_CullenHaters, it has a ring to it, doesn't it? We meet every day, all day long. Because that's how much we hate him._

I shook my head and repeated every insult I knew in my head to myself. To myself and to alcohol. And even a few to Jasper and Carlisle, if it weren't for them I wouldn't be here in the first place. I unlocked the car and climbed in. I drove home slowly, and it felt even longer. The light of the living room was still on and I groaned. I parked and didn't even bother trying to rush my way up. I wasn't in the mood.

Mom was sitting on the couch in front of the fire, reading a book. "Hey, Mom."

"It's late, Edward." She didn't look my way.

"I know."

"And you're drunk."

"I know." She stood up, left the book on the coffee table. She walked to me, patted my cheek and stood on her tiptoes to kiss my forehead.

"Go eat something, and drink some coffee." She squeezed my shoulder and went upstairs. I did as she told me just because she was being nice to me before I went to my room. I closed the door, leaving the lock on, sighed and turned on the lights. It was not such a good idea because from the doorway I could spot the key I had left on my desk. I walked slowly to it, as if it could harm me, and picked it up. I sat on my chair and bent to unlock the drawer, taking out some boxes, I wondered what I was supposed to do with them now.

I opened the first box, the most little one, and cursed out loud for ruining it all. I opened the second box, another little one, and scoffed at myself for being such a pretentious little shit. Before being able to open the third one I groaned and kicked the desk in frustration, I threw the boxes back into the drawer and kicked it closed. With my hair tightly gripped into my hands I paced around the room.

I lifted up my head at some point and saw the black and white picture by my bedside table and picked it up just to throw it against the door. It fell to the floor and all over it were pieces of glass and the blue plastic that used to be around it. I fell sick and barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up. After flushing the toilet, I took deep breaths and leaned my head on the wall. I wasn't the only ending up hurt with this. The look she had given me across the room earlier was enough to last me few lifetimes. And it was after seeing me kissing Tanya. Once. After she had broken up with me.

I shuddered just thinking about what could be her reaction to the _whole_ story. I was fucking tired. I had already ruined it, what was the point anymore? I know I said I'd fight but it was so fucking hard and so fucking painful and… I wasn't even sure if it was worth it anymore. I mean, I wanted her. Of course I did, but I just seem to keep on ruining it over and over again. And if I do manage to do something right, it feels as if in no time at all I'm doing something wrong again.

I sighed and brought my legs up to my chest and rested my forehead on my knees with my arms around it. Neither Bella nor anyone was close so I just fucking let the tears fall. I was not the kind of guy to cry, not even when I was a kid. It had always been the biggest way to show vulnerability and of course, the great Edward Cullen could not show any kind of weakness. After all, he was what everyone dreamed to be.

But what was he anymore? What was_ I_ anymore?

I had always been what my friends wanted me to be, what my parents wanted me to be, what teachers and coaches wanted from me, they'd have it and that was the Edward Cullen I knew. Now, I just wanted to be… I just wanted to know, really know, myself. I knew that as it is, I couldn't be with Bella. I wanted to be with her.

And as _this_ Edward Cullen sobbed in his bathroom floor I realized that the only real part of left of _me_ was my heart, heart that belonged to Bella Swan.

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**Thanks for reading :)**

**Ghs**


	7. Chapter 7

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

**Sorry, no song. Im kinda in a rush here.**

**Chapter 7**

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**BPOV**

I sighed, grabbed my bag and went down to the kitchen where my mom was talking to my dad while he read the paper. I poured myself a glass of juice and sat down next to them. I didn't feel like eating but I knew I was not going out of the house if I didn't eat my breakfast.

"How was the party last night?" Of course he'd know there had been a party to begin with even I had just told them I was going out.

"Fine, I guess. I didn't stay long, Dad." I sighed again and Mom stared down at me as I pushed the eggs all around the plate with my fork.

"I know." And now I was wondering if he knew more about last night. That would be just great, my dad knowing I had pretty much lost my mind last night. No one added anything else and Dad finished his coffee and stood up to leave, he glanced at his watch and frowned. "It's kinda late, Bells. If you're driving yourself to school you should probably get going." I nodded.

"Yes, Dad. I'm driving." He hummed in response and I picked up my dishes and took them to the sink. I walked out then, and my parents were smart enough to notice I was not in the mood for anything so they just let me leave like that. Once in my car I saw the dashboard and sighed. For first time ever, I wanted to be late but not even going as slow as a snail I could muster that. When I parked I noticed the black Camaro was already here and immediately my eyes drifted to the table in which he usually sits with his friends but he was not there.

I sighed and got out of the car, I walked to the table next to it where my friends were and sat on it. I said my Hello's and then put my headphones on so I could have a good excuse for not talking to them. I toyed with my iPod until the bell rang and then a minute more before putting it in my bag and heading to the door. On the stairs leading to the door, Edward was sitting with a cigarette between his lips and a pair of wayfarers covering his eyes and part of the bruise Rose had caused. If he noticed me he gave no indications he did, I walked in and wondered if he was even considering coming in. He didn't look as if he was planning to but he had a GPA to keep and he had always worried about it.

I shook the thoughts away and headed to my first class. I sat on the only seat left and, _lucky me_, it was on the first row. I groaned and sat, focusing on the teacher. Not on what he was talking, no, I just watched him as he moved around and thinking his nose was too big and his hair was ugly and… yeah, you get it.

Next period came and I was relieved I'd have something to cheer me up, even if just slightly. I walked into the room and I scanned the room looking for a place to sit. Of course, in the class I'd want to sit up front the only empty seat was in the last row. From the front of the class I spotted a head that was over the desk with a hoodie over it. Freak, I thought. When I walked closer though, I could see bronze sticking out from under it. _No fucking way. _

I looked back to the front of the class, thinking someone who'd want to switch places but the teacher urged me to just take a seat. I moved the stool and plopped my things next to me on the floor. His shoulders tensed but other than that he didn't move until halfway into the class and then it was my turn to tense. He didn't look at me, he just open his binder and ripped a piece of paper before scribbling something over it and passing it over.

_**I'm sorry.**_

I frowned and nodded, moving the paper to his side of the desk. His eyes were glued against me before he scribbled something else.

_**For the whole Tanya thing.**_

My jaw clenched and again I just nodded handing him back the paper.

_**I was jealous. I'm sorry.**_

_Again_, I nodded and handed him back the paper.

_**I didn't mean to make you cry. I hate seeing you cry. **_

I took a deep breath and nodded. _Again._

_**Forgive me? **_

I closed my eyes and took the pen from his hand.

_**Does it even matter anymore?**_

I rolled the pen to his side and he sighed, crumpling the paper after reading it. "It does, _to me_." He leaned over the desk again and I sighed, spotting the sunglasses poking out from his pocket. I took a piece of paper and write on it before putting it under his arm.

_**How's your cheek?**_

He looked to it briefly before looking up at me with an eyebrow raised. He scoffed, wrote something down and handed me the paper.

_**Does it matter? **_

I didn't answer and he turned his head so he was facing the wall. There was not much left of the hour but for those minutes I sat there tapping my fingers to the desk wanting to know how the hell we ended up here. I already knew it was my fault but just… _how?_

The bell rang and just like that I was out of the class and walking in to the next one. I took a random seat and the teacher smiled at me. She was an old nice lady and just because of it people thought they could get away with doing anything they wanted. Assholes.

At lunch I walked into the cafeteria and sat on my usual seat on my usual table, my knee hitting the table every time it went up with the not-ending bouncing caused by the anxiety of not knowing whether Edward was coming or not. I was not even sure _which one_ I wanted right now. Especially when his seat was right next to mine. Thankfully though, Felix came to sit next to me and was actually cheering me up.

"You're on _my_ seat, Felix." And then I realized that maybe I shouldn't be thankful about it given Edward's reaction yesterday. Felix didn't move and acted as if he hadn't talked. He was standing right behind his chair and I looked up, meeting his eyes briefly until he moved his cold gazed down to Felix. "_I'm waiting._" Felix groaned but stood up and walked to the other side of the table to his seat. "Jazz." He called to him at the head of the table and not even a minute later Jasper was sitting beside me.

"Hey B." I smiled at him, more like grimaced, glaring. _My God, this is so childish._

"Seriously Jazz?" I hissed at him and he chuckled while I saw Edward sitting at Jasper's seat beside Emmett.

"Just helping out a friend." He poked me in the side and I glared at him again, standing up.

"Stay out of this, Jasper." He chuckled as I put my bag over my shoulder. "I'm serious." And just to annoy him a little bit too much I went and sit beside Felix. I even might have laughed a little too loud and even inched closer to him as we talked. All the while felling daggers being thrown at me from the head of the table. _Serves him well._

When the bell rang I stood up with a smile still on my face and just for the sake of it I decided to walk behind the chair he was on. A hand shot up and curled around my wrist, my jaw locked up and I tried to move my hand away, when he didn't let go I told him to let go of my hand.

"Dammit Bella! It's obvious I want to tell you something. Just wait up for a fucking second." I moved my hand and this time he let me. I hated that he knew I'd stay and I hated myself even more for not being able to _not stay_. Only when the cafeteria was empty he stood up to face me, he was closer than what was comfortable and I took a step back.

"So?" I prodded, crossing my arms around my chest. He licked his lips, looked to the side, ran a hand through his hair and switched his weight to his other feet before talking.

"It's working, okay? _It's fucking working_." I huffed.

"_What_ is working, Edward?"

"_Listen_, do whatever you want to do. Go and make me jealous with every single guy in school if that's what you want. I _deserve_ it but… just not with my fucking friends, okay?" He said exasperated and I clapped my back mentally. And then I laughed.

"Look Edward, I can do whatever I want with _whomever _I want." His hands fisted at his side and his eyes turned into slits before he opened his mouth just to close it again. He was close to yelling something and I seriously didn't know why it made me smirk.

_You know why. Seeing him with Tanya was definitely not something you enjoyed._

"I get it! Trust me, Bella. _I fucking get it_. I fucked up. I fucked _us_ up but… _please_? I just–" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Never mind. _Just forget it_." He walked out then, leaving me. I sighed and walked out as well heading to my class, faking an apology for being late when in all reality I couldn't care less.

The rest of the day dragged on and I was more than ready to go home and lock myself on my room and just do nothing when a voice calling from behind me made me close my eyes in frustration. With my eyes still closed I faked a smile and turned, opening my eyes.

"Hey Rose." I waved and waited for her to say whatever she wanted to say.

"Hey B." What is it with the initials? My name isn't even that long.

"So? What did you need?"

"I, um, we haven't talked for a while, you know?" She smiled sheepishly.

"And right now is a good moment?" I said, looking to the hallways still full of people.

"You're probably right, but how about we go shopping-" I glared and she chuckled. "No? Okay, how about, um, I don't know… for an ice-cream or something? " By this point we were already on the parking lot, standing in front of the door.

"Okay, see you there." She smiled and walked to her car while I did the same.

Frustrated and annoyed I threw my bag to the passenger door and groaned as I put the keys on the ignition. I really didn't feel like doing anything but I knew Rosalie wouldn't give up so I might as well just comply and get it done. The drive was not long but I still had to wait for Rosalie for few minutes.

"So, what did you wanted to talk about?" I asked bringing the spoon to my mouth.

"I don't know, how was your summer?" I tensed and looked down the table.

"Fine, I guess."

"C'mon! If I ever go to France, I wouldn't come back with a simple _'fine'_."

"Ehm, you do know I went with Edward, right?"

"Oh shit. Right." She looked to the table. "Talking of that, what exactly was yesterday about?"

I sighed, _I knew it. _"What part of yesterday?"

"All of it? I mean, start with the beginning."

"To sum it up, Rose, we broke up."

"Bella? I know I'm not the smartest girl around but I could gather that much."

"There's nothing else, Rosalie. We broke up and… _that's it_."

"Okay, let's try something different. You guys were like the perfect couple, _why_ did you break up?"

"No couple is perfect, Rose."

"Okay but… why?" God, this girl didn't know how to take a hint.

"Bella?" I turned around towards the voice and smile, standing up.

"Hey, Esme." _Correction, Carlisle and Esme _were_ perfect_. She hugged me and smiled politely at Rose who had stood up as well. "How come you're here?"

"I was on my way home from Seattle and I thought why not? So here I am." She said raising her cup of ice-cream.

"Oh, how's your fath-"

"He's better, but I still feel like going. Thanks for asking." I shrugged and then it became awkward when she took a step closer and asked in a whisper. "Bella, is everything okay?"

"Um, sure, why?"

"I don't know I just can tell something is wrong with Edward and you haven't been around the house lately so…" He didn't tell them, seriously?

_And you're one to talk. Is not like Renée and Charlie know what's going on._

"You should ask him what's wrong, then."

"Yes, I probably should especially after tonight. He came home a bit drunk and bruised; do you know what that was about?"

"I didn't hit him, Esme." I said with a smirk and she laughed.

"Oh, I know darling. Do you know _who _did it? Or why?" I cautiously pinched Rose's arm, asking for some help there.

"She had left by the time that happened, Mrs. Cullen." Rose intervened politely. "But he had it coming. _For years_." I pinched her arm harder, making her smile turn into a grimace.

"_Oh_." She said awkwardly and took a step back. "I'll _try_ and talk to him." She turned to the door and waved once more. "Don't be a stranger, Bella." As soon as she closed the door I turned to Rosalie.

"What the hell, Rosalie?"

"What? He was with his tongue down Tanya's throat and you're going to defend him? Seriously?" I cringed but composed myself quickly.

"Rosalie-"

"Not to mention the fact that you acted as if you were still together." She said nonchalantly and sat down again.

"It was obvious she didn't know, okay? I was not about to tell her! It's not my place."

"Whatever, Bella." I sat down and neither of us said anything. "How do you do it?"

"What?" I asked in a flat tone.

"Edward's mom loves you as if you were hers."

"What?" I repeated confused.

"Emmett's mom hates me."

"I've known her for almost a decade, Rose. Besides, she's very close to my parents. I did nothing."

"And his dad?"

"What about Carlisle?"

"Is he… you know, like she's with you."

"He's more, um, reserved but in his way, yeah I guess." I shrugged.

"Emmett's dad hates me too!" She yelled and I raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sure they don't."

"They do! Agh, whatever. We were talking so, _why?_"

"I don't really know, Rose. I guess… I don't know."

"So what? You broke up just like that, out of the blue?"

"No… things were weird and we were like fighting a lot. And in one fight over something so stupid I just… you know, the whole space crap. And… that day you were on my house? And the flowers? Well, we weren't together by then."

"So you didn't _really_ break up?"

I sighed, "Listen, I realized it was stupid and I _was _going to talk to him… but then he just came with this shit yesterday morning, you know, with Felix?" She nodded and I continued. "And it pissed me off and I told him we were over." I sighed again. "But then I realized it was stupid _again _so I went to the party to talk to him but then… _you know_."

"Yeah, I know. Why Tanya though?" She asked with a pointedly look.

"Um, how would I know?" I shook the images away.

"Just saying, Bella. Is like, from all the people there he went right to Tanya."

"What are you trying to say Rosalie?" I spat and she raised her hands.

"Nothing. Have you talked to her?"

"Are you kidding?" I laughed. "I know she's always had a thing for him and all but last night? It was way more than what I can handle. I mean, the little crush? Okay, most of the girls in the school have a crush for Edward and I've learned to handle that but she's my friend!"

"_Little crush_? _Friend_? Bella you are _so_ naïve."

"Okay Rose, whatever it is you want to say just say it!"

"Nothing!" I rolled my eyes angrily and crossed my arms over my chest. "You don't see as down as Edward does." She said with a sigh.

"Probably it's the bruise." I shrugged. "Besides, I _refuse_ to let this affect me."

"That's just worse, you know?"

"I'll deal with the aftermath later, then. If I break down I'd rather it be after a while. When no one knows what it's about."

"Have you talked to him?"

"Not really."

"What does that means?"

"In class he gave me this paper apologizing for last night then I asked him about his cheek and then after lunch he told me not to try to make him jealous with his friends."

"Felix?"

"Yes."

"Were you? Trying to make him jealous?"

"No." She raised an eyebrow.

"Not consciously at least. But, whatever, I'm not going to stop hanging out with his friends, who are also _my_ friends."

"Did you forgive him?"

"I didn't say anything. I don't think… He doesn't really need to apologize, we weren't together."

"C'mon Bella! For what? Ten hours?"

"Still. Is just that… yeah, it hurt like a bitch but is not like I'm mad at him."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I'm mad with Tanya. Is like, Edward _was_ my boyfriend, Tanya _is_ my friend."

"Is?"

"Well, until last night." I shrugged. "But is not like I can avoid her, today she wasn't in the school but she is every day and then when we have to stay for cheer practice and stuff."

"Hmmm, good point."

"And is not like I expect Edward to be single forever. I mean, is _Edward_."

"So you're not even considering getting back together?"

"Not right now."

"In the future?" I shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe that space crap is not just crap." I sat straight and looked at her with my head tilted. "Why you hate each other so much?"

She scoffed. "I have my reasons and he hates me because I have very valid reasons to do so. And he _knows_ it."

"_Huh?_"

"We just do, Bella. There's no point in telling you."

"Why not?"

"It just doesn't matter anymore." I frowned.

"He said something similar."

"About?"

"I don't know. He just told me he needed to tell me something and then he told me there was no point in telling me."

"Really?" I nodded. "He isn't _that_ bad then. He's got_ some_ shame." She said the last part mostly to herself but the place was empty and I was definitely not deaf.

"What?" I asked irritated.

"Huh? Nothing." She looked her wrist and stood up. "I gotta go, Bella. See you tomorrow." I just nodded and waved in her way.

_What in the world are they talking about?_

_

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Thanks for reading :)

Ghs


	8. Chapter 8

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

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**Action & Reactions **

**Chapter 8 **

**Well, this face staring back at me in this mirror**  
**Ain't the face I wanna see**  
**Gotta figure out how to get back**  
**To who I used to be**

**I used to be a hero, and a lover**  
**She brought out the best in me**  
**But now I'm just a lost soul with a broken heart**  
**Half the man I used to be**  
**It took losing her for me, to finally understand**  
**That the woman really makes the man**

**The woman makes the man - Lady Antebellum**

**EPOV**

"Leaving, Mom!" I yelled as I ran down the stairs.

"Breakfast!" She yelled back from the kitchen.

"Later!" Was my reply as I shrugged on my jacket and walked out of the house. Dad was just arriving; I guessed he had a night shift last night.

"Good morning, Edward." He said as he closed the door.

"Morning, Dad." I mumbled as I unlocked the door. I felt as if he was watching me so I turned again, to face him.

"What's in your face?" After a week the bruises had disappeared but under them a cut was hidden right over my cheekbone. I cursed myself for not wearing my glasses today.

"I had an accident." I looked to the side, hiding the cut from his view. He walked to me and grabbed my chin turning my face.

"An accident?" He scoffed and didn't wait for an answer I wouldn't give anyway. "Whoever did it did a good job. You need stitches." He dropped my face.

"I'm late already, Dad."

"Call Bella and tell her to drive herself to school, then come to my office." _Call Bella?_ I laughed inwardly.

"Dad," I groaned

"It can get infected, Edward. Besides, I'm not asking you, I'm _telling_ you." I groaned and walked behind him back into the house, kicking a pebble all the way until the steps.

Once in the house I headed to his office while he headed to the kitchen to see Mom. After few minutes of being sitting in front of Dad's desk and him still no coming I stood up and walked to the mirror, inching my face closer to it. I cringed when I saw the reddish mark on my skin and moved my fingers to it, it stung. _Poor Emmett_. Then I moved to the greenish skin under my eyes and I cringed again. I looked like shit and I hadn't even notice until then. I hadn't been sleeping more than two hours per night.

"Your mom wants you to drink this." Dad said as he entered the room and left a glass with juice in his desk, he disappeared again and I sat on the desk, drinking it as I waited for Carlisle. He came back with a leather black bag that was placed behind me as he rolled up his sleeves to his elbows. I tried not to flinch every time the cotton he had on his hand got close to my face. At least I didn't have to feel when he actually stitched up my face.

"What's going on, Edward?" He looked up from my cheek to my eyes briefly.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been acting… different." I shrugged.

"I haven't noticed." _Yeah, right…_

"Is everything okay?"

"Peachy."

"And Bella?" My hands curled around the desk.

"What about her?"

"Are things okay with you two?"

"Why wouldn't we be okay, Dad?" _Seriously Cullen, you're so smooth… Not._

"Hmmm, I just haven't seen her lately."

"You barely are here, Dad. For all you know she spends here the entire day."

"She doesn't. And last night was the first time I went to the hospital in the past week. You've been locked in your room _all week_."

"Oh,"

"Yes,_ oh_. I'm worried, Edward."

"Well, don't. I'm perfectly fine." He patted my jaw and told me he was done.

"This thing right here," He pointed my cheek "Proves you're not."

"Someone hit me, Dad, it's not a reason to worry."

"I thought it was an accident." He lifted his face from one of his drawers. I shrugged.

"Can I go now?"

"Stay home today, Edward. You look like you haven't slept at all."

"Dad, I can't-"

"It's Friday, Edward. It's not like anything gets done on a Friday." I nodded and got out of the room. Once the door was closed behind me, I looked to both sides of the hallway and ran a hand through my hair, turning to the right where the stairs to the first floor were. I had planned on skipping my way out to the backyard but Mom must have heard me since she called my name.

"Yes, Mom?" I asked as I stepped into the kitchen. She was on the table with the paper on her hands and a cup of coffee next to her. She pointed to at least three plates _full_ of food.

"There, you're not moving until you're done with your breakfast."

"Mom," I whined, "I'm not used to eat that much. I'm going to end up sick!" She didn't move her eyes from the paper as her hand reached for the cup. I groaned as I sat and I noticed the smug smile on her face. Halfway through my meal she finished the paper and looked at me. I started eating faster.

"What happened to your face, Edward?"

"Dad took care of it, already."

"That's not what I asked."

I sighed, "Someone hit me."

"I want names, Edward."

"I don't remember."

"How can you not remember the name of someone that punched you, Edward?"

"Um… I'm done, Mom. Thanks." I took my dishes to the kitchen and put them on the sink before finally going to the backyard. I laid on the edge of the pool, face down, with my right hand on the water. I had forgotten to clear the pool so I couldn't get in. I moved my hand up and down as I let my mind wander to the last days.

After the night of the party I decided I had to do some sort of change in me so the following day when Emmett reminded me of the team and I decided I had to start there. When I joined I did it because the Coach told me I was good, when I didn't believe him he talked to my parents and the glistening in Carlisle's eyes made me do it. I just went to the practices and threw the ball back and forth with the other players. And people still believed I was good. It was not that I didn't like it, but it just sort of lost its fun when people expected me to do it, and do it well.

It was just something I did to keep people happy with me, and that's why two days ago I told the Coach this year I wouldn't be playing for the Spartans. I had stopped sitting with the guys before school, instead deciding on a step in the entrance, where no one could see me until they actually went into the building. And if I was still sitting at my table during lunch was because I didn't want to completely withdraw by sitting alone but mainly, it was because it was my chance to see Bella.

I knew it was… overprotecting of me what I was doing with Felix but, I couldn't help myself. I was going to do something to get Bella back, I still didn't know what but something would come to my mind. Something has to. I wasn't going to just give up on her, and letting Felix hung all around her all day long would be just that. Felix could easily make her fall for him. And if I was to lose her to someone, it sure as hell won't be Felix.

But then, something else came up. I groaned at the thought of that, which was the reason I didn't want to miss school. I asked Jasper to sit on my place because it was _Jazz_ and now suddenly he supposedly is into my girl. He even asked me if I was okay with him trying something with her. I hit my fist to the water, wetting all my face in the progress. I clearly told him to stay away from her and not to even think of laying a hand on her for I knew what that would mean and I just couldn't picture _My Bella_ with someone else. All he did in response was laugh. I knew I had no rights to try and keep boys off of her but she wouldn't want to be with someone else so soon. Or so I keep telling myself to justify my actions.

And Tanya. I laughed thinking about her. Apparently she was pissed that I had walked out on her to run after Bella, and she thought that she was ignoring me. And that it hurt me. She couldn't do me a bigger favor. I caught on the trick three days ago when, in a very childlike manner, she stood by my side just to huff and turn in a way all her hair hit my face. Or, during lunch she would glare at me until I look at her just so she could avoid my eyes. In moments like those I found myself wondering what I had seen in her to begin with. She wasn't even that pretty.

But worst of all was Bella. It was amazing how I could feel there were like, planets between us when we were sitting right next to each other. She would get to the class, move the stool as far as possible from me just so she could ignore me the entire period. I didn't even try that silly thing with the notes again, it just seemed it angered her even more. And that was why I didn't even know how to get her back. She was acting as if we were never together –no, she was acting as if I didn't even exist. I had wrote to her in the BB MSN few times and I knew she had read the messages but she never answered. I would stay staring at the screen of my phone for hours, waiting for her to answer and the answer would never come. I tried calling her, it would rang for few minutes and then it would sent me to her voicemail. I never left any messages for I hadn't really planned what to say in the first place. I just… I just missed her. Badly.

And I just hated myself even more because I have had her for almost two years just for myself and what had I done? Go and fuck Tanya. And now, I wanted nothing more than to have Bella back in my arms for me to finally love her as she deserved and she had left me. Hell, I would be happy if she would just look my way without scowling. I wasn't asking much, was I? I know that everything that was happening I deserved but it just didn't make sense. Yes, I deserve it but she didn't even know about me and Tanya, which just had me wondering what would happen when I actually tell her. Because, despite everything, I was still planning to. If not for us to be back together, at least for her to know and hate me for a fair reason.

With a sigh I put my hands flat on the ground on each side of my head and pushed myself to my feet, I rubbed my hand dry on my jean and looked to the pool, making a face of disgust as I did so, and then looked to my right just to be met with the concerned eyes of my mom through the kitchen window.

"What?" I nearly yelled for her to be able to hear me. She motioned for me to come inside and I knew I would be asked again whether I was feeling okay or what had me on my suicidal mode. I sighed and dug my hands in my pockets and looked to the floor as I walked back to the house. "What, Mom?"

"_What, Mom?_" She imitated my voice in a scolding tone. "You do know you've been lying on the floor for over three hours?" I swallowed and moved my hand to the back of my head.

"Um, no."

"What were you doing there, Edward?"

"Um, _thinking_?"

"Thinking?"

"Yeah, you know, about… stuff." She chuckled.

"_Stuff_." She kept laughing and I groaned, heading out of the room and up the stairs to my room. I turned on the TV leaving it in a rerun of Friends as I lied over my bed with my arms beneath my head.

I actually fell asleep and next thing I knew someone was knocking on my door. "Edward! Get dressed; we're meeting someone for dinner!"

"Okay, Mom." I groaned as I rolled to the side and hid my face into a pillow. I could hear her steps down the hallway and I sighed, knowing I wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep. I tossed for few minutes more before I finally gave up and got off my bed, turning my TV before heading into the closet. I grabbed my boxers as I walked into the bathroom to shower. Afterwards, I stood in front of my closet having no clue as to what to wear, I didn't even knew with whom we were having dinner or if we were staying or going out. I hated Dad's friends.

I decided on black slacks with a white button down and stood in front of the mirror trying for the millionth time to do something about my hair. I ran my fingers through my hair trying to make it to stay tamed to one side. As soon as my fingers reached the end, they'd go back to its usual disarray. I took my phone from my drawer and put in on my pocket before walking down the stairs.

"Mom! Who's coming over?" I yelled as I hit the foyer and right then the doorbell rang. "Do I get that?" I yelled again and Mom answered from the top of the stairs to open the door. I shrugged again and went to the front door. My eyes widened in fright as I saw Renée and Charlie Swan standing there in front of me.

"Edward!" Renée yelled and wrapped her arms around me. _Okay…_

"Hello, Renée." I spotted Bella getting out of the car. _Fuck, did she tell her parents?_ I untangled myself from Renée and held out my hand to Charlie. "Good evening, Chief Swan." He shook my hand and nodded, raising an eyebrow, looking me up and down. _FUCK! Did she tell them!_

Mom took over with Dad and greeted them as I made my way through them to get to Bella before she got to the door. She had been looking to the floor as she walked over so when she didn't stop where I had she stumbled over and I reached out to steady her.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked and she nodded, taking a step away. I took a step closer, "Did you tell them?" I nodded slightly to our parents behind me.

"Um, about that… I've been calling you the last three hours!" She poked her finger in my chest. I frowned and took my phone from my pocket and I had eight missed calls.

"Shit, sorry. I slept all afternoon." I put my phone away.

"Did you tell Esme and Carlisle?" She asked and I smiled sheepishly before shaking my head. She smiled back and suddenly I felt as if my life was complete. "Good, I didn't tell them either."

"I swear I didn't know about this until I opened the door and-" She shrugged and started walking past me, I took her wrist and stopped her. "I need you to do me a favor, Bella." We had changed positions, she was now giving her back to the front door.

"What?"

"Kids!" Mom hollered from the door and we both turned to see her, motioning for us to get inside, the rest already in.

"Just follow my lead, Bella. _Please_." I whispered in her ear and moved my hold from her wrist down to her hand as we walked in. When we were in, I helped Bella out of her coat and might have taken advantage of the situation we were in to steal a little kiss from her. She blushed and slapped my shoulder. Mom walked to the living room, leaving us alone again. "You look great, Bella." She was wearing a pink skirt held by a thin black belt by her waist that ended mid thigh with a white blouse tucked in. I wished I could take two steps and press her against the door so I could kiss her.

"So, you want me to act as if we are still together?"

"Um, yeah…" My hand went to the back of my hair and I looked down. She chuckled.

"You tried to comb your hair, didn't you?" She put her hand over mine and I looked up, and I couldn't help myself anymore. I moved my hand from my hair and placed it on her waist pushing her to the wall as I stood right in front of her, she lowered her hand to my neck. Her breath hitched as I circled an arm around her waist pulling her closer to me.

"I miss you." I whispered without even thinking about it. It just came out.

"Ahem," Dad cleared his throat from behind us and I closed my eyes, sighing. "Um, dinner's ready." He said awkwardly before clearing his throat again. I moved my arm from around her and let her walk ahead of me so I could glare at my dad on our way to the dining room.

The _grown-ups_ were talking about… I had no idea what they were talking about, they were just talking about something. Bella was sitting across me and I might have ran the tip of my shoes up her legs every few minutes. By the time we were having dessert, Bella's blush hadn't stopped for over forty minutes. One of her heels was under my chair for the time she tried to kick my calf. All week along I had barely let myself look at her and today I couldn't take the smirk off my face.

_Well, she did smile at you, and let you hold her._

Esme suggested for us to go to the den while they moved to the living room and Bella gave me a pointed look through her eyelashes and my smirk only grew before I kicked her shoe to her. She stormed off to the den and I walked slowly after her. I closed the door after I got in and she turned to me, glaring.

"I hate you! Mom saw your foot under the-" I reached my arms around her waist and pulled her flush against me, to steady herself she rested her hands on my chest and I leaned down to kiss her. I sighed when our lips touched and she did the same, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me closer causing me to bend us a bit. I turned us around and I pressed her against the door, moving a hand to her jaw line with my thumb on her chin, nudging her mouth to open. As soon as my tongue grazed hers she pushed me away and walked hurriedly to the couch.

"Bella?" _What did I do?_ I took a step away from the door and closer to her, she raised her hand to stop me.

"Don't." I froze on my place and… fuck, what did I do?

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you, Bella." I felt my heart sink inside me. I took a step towards the door and leaned there with my arms over my chest and my gaze to the floor.

"No, it is not that." She stood but stayed next to the couch. "Is just that… I had this _flash _of you… and Tanya." I froze and didn't say anything, opting for looking to my shoes. Neither of us said anything for what felt like hours before she shifted her weight on her feet. "Edward!" She whined and I still didn't look up. "Say something."

"What do you want me to say, Bella?"

"I don't know, _something_! Don't stay there looking to the floor as if nothing just happened!"

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" I nodded. "Why are _you_ sorry!"

"Because of Tanya." And not only for the kiss. _Not the right moment to come clean, Cullen. _"I shouldn't have done what I did. _I'm sorry_." I heard her heels clacking against the wooden floor and she stopped in front of me, pressing her lips against mine again. "Bella, no." I turned my face to the side and kept it that way, completely aware of Bella's eyes on me. Next thing I know, I see a little glistening on her eyes. "God, are you crying?" I turned to face her and she was, indeed, crying. I sighed and threw an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into me.

She pushed me again and when I reached to hold her again she walked past me and out the door. I walked right after her "Bella, don't leave! What are you doing?" I hissed at her as she looked for her coat. She ignored me and walked out. "Mom! I'm going out!" I yelled as I shrugged on my denim jacket and jogged after Bella. How she managed to walk that fast in those heels was beyond me.

"Bella, come on! Are we really going through this _again_?" I yelled as I kept jogging.

"Stop following me, Edward!"

"Then stop walking away from me!" I stopped to take a little rest. I hadn't work out in almost three months and I was so out of shape. I took a deep breath before deciding on just walking at a _real quick_ pace. "What did you wanted me to say, Bella?" She huffed and shook her head, which brought my attention to the way hear hair moved which, I must admit, lead me to look the way her skirt moved with each step she took. I shook my head and took a run to finally get to her. I was in front of her, with my hands on her shoulders. She was looking to the house beside us with her hands over her chest. "Baby?"

"I just hate you that you rejected me, okay?" She huffed, not looking me in the eye.

"_What_ are you talking about, Bella? _You_ pushed me away."

"When I kissed you, you turned your face!"

"And what did you wanted me to do, Bella?" I moved my hands from her, "You tell me the only thing you can think about when I'm kissing you is me and Tanya and you want me to kiss you? _Are you insane, Bella?_"

"I wanted you to kiss me to show me _it's me_, not Tanya. _Me_!" She yelled at me, pointing at herself.

"For God's sake Bella!" I started yelling back. "It's only you! I told you that I was jealous! Bella-" I gripped my hair in frustration. How could she not see she was it for me? "I've told you, Bella! I've told you that you're the only one for me! Fuck, I made a mistake that night and kissed her and you come and tell me that me kissing you reminds you of that. I saw the pain in your eyes that night, Bella! I don't want to do anything to remind you of that! And here you're crying how I am rejecting you?

"How about you, Bella? Haven't you been rejecting me? Huh? Every fucking day I say hi, when you come and sit right next to me I say hi. And all you do is move your stool away from me. I don't even get to say nothing. And now that we're fucking at it, why the fuck you broke up with me? Huh? I still want to know! I still don't know what I did that night, Bella! Yes, I know you deserve way better than me but I still don't know what I did!"

"Ed-"

"No. Let me finish. And then I go and tell you it's okay for you to do whatever the fuck you want to do because, let's face it, I'm no one to tell you anything anymore! But I do ask you to at least stay away from my friends and you go and flirt as much as you can with Felix! Because you _know_ it pisses me off! And Jasper! Wasn't it enough with Felix, Bella? Huh? Now you need Jasper too?" I was cut off by a hand meeting my face and I turned to the side, feeling nothing more but the sting. "Did you just slap me, Bella?" I turned to her again, and I saw her covering her mouth with her hand and her eyes wide. She fucking slapped me.

"I'm sorry, Edward." She took a step to me and reached her hand to my cheek, I moved my face away from her reach. She wrapped her arms around me and started crying into my shirt. "I didn't mean to, Edward. I'm sorry!" I moved her arms from around me.

"Leave it, Bella." I moved to lean on a car as I fished out my phone from my pocket. Bella moved to the sidewalk, sitting down with her arms around her legs and her head over her knee. "Mom?"

"Edward! Where are you!"

"Mom, Bella needs someone to take her home."

"What? Why? What happened?"

"Just tell Renée or Charlie to come pick her up."

"Okay, okay, where are you?"

"Um, just few houses from ours."

"Then bring her here!"

"Mom!"

"Okay, okay." I hung up and put the phone back into my pocket.

"Leave, Edward. I can walk home by myself." She sniffed, looking at my shoes.

"I'm not about to leave you here alone and I'm not letting you walk home alone dressed like that."

"What's wrong with my clothes!"

I shook my head. "Forget it, Bella."

"I talked to Rose the other day." I froze. "She refused to tell me why she hated you."

"There are_ lots_ of things you don't know Bella." I replied flatly, crossing my feet in front of me. We're back to the planets between us.

"Then tell me, Edward!" I shook my head.

"_This,_" I moved my hand between us. "Is the prove you're not ready to hear all that stuff. That we, as a couple, are not ready to get over."

"We're not a couple, Edward." I looked up, right into her eyes at the same time lights came from our side.

"_Exactly._"

Charlie came out of the car and dragged Bella to the car, not before glaring at me. The Chief is so not getting over this. Renée came out also and stood right in front of me.

"What happened, Edward?"

"We had a fight." I said simply.

"A fight? You had a fight and you, always a gentleman, just can't walk Bella home? That's not like you, Edward."

"We had a huge fight, then." Just leave, Renée.

"And she did that?" She pointed to my face.

"What?" I reached my hand to my face where she was pointing and my fingers were met with a warm liquid. I bring it to my eyes and there was blood. "Oh, fu-" I cut myself when Renée cleared her throat. "Sorry."

"Did she?"

"Um, no." I guess she reopened it when she hit me with her nails.

"You want us to take you home?"

"That won't be necessary, Renée. But thanks." I smiled and started to walk my way home. When I got there, Mom was on the driveway waiting for me and started asking question after question, all of which I ignored. "Dad!" I yelled as I entered the house and he appeared from the living room. "I need help with this." I pointed to my face and he nodded. I walked up to his office and he came in with the black leather bag again. He did the same he did earlier. He patted my jaw when he was done, the only change was the question he did.

"Are you still going to tell me you're fine?"

"Okay, maybe I'm not _fine_."

* * *

**So, what did you think? Good? Bad? Kinda there? **

**Anyway, there were some things I wanted to tell you so, I've been thinking on maybe writing a chapter in which we go to the past? Like, months before Edward falls in love and like, a normal day in their life? Would you like that? If you do, would you want it to go into the story or as a, I dont know, an outtake? Please tell me. **

**Um, there was something else. Would you mind if I mixed POVs? It wouldn't be something like, three lines in BPOV and then three in EPOV and so on... Is just that I like to read long chapters so I'd like to write long chapters for you to read but there are just some thing that can not be told by the other and I dont really want to go over everything with both. So, let me know too. Please?**

**And another thing. Are you really liking this so far? I'm all ears to your suggestions so please leave one. I wont change the story per se but if you tell me something you wanna see I'll try to add it to the story so, tell me that too please.**

**And for those of you that review... I know I told you I'd update before Wednesday but I couldn't get online all day and last night I fell asleep really early, I'm so sorry. **

**Thanks for reading guys, _seriously._**

**Ghs**


	9. Chapter 9

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all

* * *

**

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 9**

**I'm not a perfect person****  
****There's many things I wish I didn't do****  
****But I continue learning****  
****I never meant to do those things to you****  
****And so I have to say before I go****  
****That I just want you to know**

**I've found a reason for me****  
****To change who I used to be****  
****A reason to start over new****  
****and the reason is you**

**The Reason – Hoobastank**

**BPOV**

It had been over a week since the day in his house and things with Edward were… well, not easy because I doubted it would ever be that way but… _bearable_. It was as if we had come to a silent agreement in which he wouldn't talk to me but I wouldn't ignore him completely. I would say hi when I came into the class and say bye before I left.

It was bearable. And I didn't like it.

Edward would respond the greetings with a sad smile that never failed to break my heart, even if he didn't notice. I couldn't let him see through my façade though, I had to be my normal self and take notes and make questions and… stuff, while he stayed silent and using his binder only to doodle on the corners of the pages.

Then in the classes I didn't have with him I would totally zone out. I was aware Felix spent most of the one hour we had together chatting with me, he didn't know I wasn't chatting with him though. I drew as well on my notebooks, I drew things that for someone else would make no sense but for me and my twisted brain they did. Ironically enough, there were often question marks on my drawings.

I sighed and hugged the folder tighter against my chest as I walked into the classroom. I threw my stuff on my side of the desk and muttered a 'Hi' as I propped myself down on the chair subconsciously moving my stall as far as I could. He did not smile but sighed and proceeded to move his stall to the other end.

"I don't have _cooties_, Bella." He sighed sadly and shook his head. I blinked repeatedly and turned back to the board as the teacher started on his lecture. His binder remained unopened in front of him as his eyes were set on his hands folded over his lap. Halfway into the class he lifted his hips from the seat and took his phone out of his pocket before he bent down to grab his bag. With his hand inside his bag I could hear the clicking noise as he wrote something.

He took out his phone and set it on the desk, I didn't try to see, as he put everything back in his bag and threw it over his shoulder. With phone in hand he strolled towards the teacher and within a minute he was dismissed, just as he was closing the door my phone beeped.

"Miss Swan" The teacher reprimanded and, blushing, I apologized setting it into silence. When he turned his back to us I put it between my leg and desk.

_**I can't stand the distance between us. I'm sorry. I miss you. –E**_

My eyes instantly watered as I reread the message over and over again. It was his first attempt to approach me in _that_ way since what happened. I sent my reply, looking up to the board and nodding as the teacher asked something.

_**You going tonight? –B**_

I know, what the fuck answering his text like that but I had a reason. I couldn't stand the distance either and if I was going to tell him that I wanted it to be face to face.

It was my birthday on Sunday but my parents decided that since I was such a fine young woman –_for fuck's sake! I was just turning eighteen_- they wanted to throw me a party. And by party I don't mean the kind in which your entire class gets wasted and music is so loud windows are shaking and might end up broken. No. For them a party meant inviting all of their friends and colleagues with their families to come over. It was like a freaking ball, it was ridiculous but whatever. In exchange, they would give me permission to go backpacking to Europe before I had to leave for college.

_**My parents **__**still don't know. But if you'd rather not having me there I guess I can find a way to bail. –E**_

_**No, no… Are you up for a talk? –B**_

_There_, that was the reason I asked the question on the first place. It had been over three weeks and it was simply killing me.

_**About… Us? –E**_

_**Yes, about us. –B**_

_**I'll be there. Thanks, Bella. –E **_

I got a dirty look from the teacher and didn't reply anymore, not like I knew how to reply to that. For the rest of the hour I zoned out thinking about… everything.

Last week when I hit him I hadn't even thought about that. He was just going on and on about Jasper and Felix and I got mad. He had no right to tell me something like that. And it wasn't even true, I had actually been ignoring Jasper every single day just because he was sitting next to me. I regretted it immediately but he just wouldn't listen. He then began with how I had been rejecting him and I just didn't know what to do or what to say.

Later that night I was ridiculously dressed up on strapless black dress with two white stripes around my waist. That along my black twelve centimetres heels that made my legs look as if they could go on for days. At least Rose had told me so.

I was so freaking nervous my hands were sweating and I kept cleaning them on my dress. Edward had been here for few hours but hadn't really approached me, not that I could have talked to him more than couple minutes. Apparently, being the reason of the party meant I had to talk to everyone. Who would have thought that a cop could have so many colleagues? Because my father certainly did.

My feet were hurting and with a flute of champagne I stole from one of the waitresses I plopped myself down on an empty chair in the loneliest spot I could find. People had begun leaving half an hour ago and it was considerably emptier. With my eyes closed I downed some of the champagne, I reached out and set the flute on a table before opening my eyes.

I was met by bright green staring down at me. I instinctively stood up, my stiletto heels not holding me. Edward reached out and grabbed my elbow, steadying me. "Hi," He said as we both realized our faces were mere inches apart. I responded weakly, my knees weak but I knew it had nothing to do with my heels. He sighed and let go of me, I thought he was walking away but he again surprised me by standing behind me and moving my hair to rest completely over one shoulder.

"I know your birthday is on Sunday, but Mom insisted I had to give you your present today." He reached in front of me and clasped a necklace. I turned to the side were a mirror so happened to be and I reached to take in on my hand still looking at it through the reflection. I turned to him with my hand still on it.

"You didn't hav-" It was a necklace with a pendant hanging down right were my cleavage started, it looked like a weird eight-y thing that was all twisted, diamonds perching around it. I loved it.

"I know I had no valid reasons to follow my mom's advice but not to upset her I got you something else. I'll try to give you your real present on Sunday." I tried to argue but he cut me off. "I got it for you a while ago, you're taking it, Bella." I smiled, completely touched that he had been looking for a present for me before he even had to.

"Okay,"

"Okay. So…" He looked around nervously "Want to dance?" He held his hand out for me and I took it, relishing on the warmth that fuzzed all over me when he touched me. There was slow music in the background and I rested my head and hands on his chest as he wrapped his arms around my waist with his head on the crook of my neck.

The few doubts I still had, left in the moment he held me close to him. The warmth that spread its way throughout his body to mine, his breathing hitting the side and back of my neck, the way I knew he had his eyes closed as well as I had, how in this silence between us everything was said…

"Edward,"

"Bella,"

We both talked at the same time and he pulled apart chuckling nervously, he motioned for me to talk first but I shook my head. I wanted to hear what he had to say.

"I… um, I'm sorry about how things… ended," He visibly flinched and his arms around me tightened "I'm also sorry about how I overreacted at the very end but most of all, I'm sorry for pushing you away. I'm aware of how hard it must have been for you to deal with all my shit but, I guess it was not only you the one who needed some time. I just keep thinking about how much I miss you and…" His eyes went from sad to scared as he looked up right into my eyes before his body tensed completely around me. I guessed he was afraid I would reject him.

"…And, Bella, I guess what I'm asking here is for you to forgive me and give me another chance. I love you, Baby." My stomach did flips as he caressed my cheek and pulled a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Okay," I said simply, wrapping my arms around his neck. He smiled softly and leant his forehead against mine.

"Okay what? Okay, you're forgiving me or okay, you're giving me another chance?" He asked seriously, hope latched onto his tone as if either answer was enough for him. Instead of answering I tilted my head to the side and kissed him softly, he smiled against my lips. I loved when he did that. I wrapped my arms tighter around him as my hands found their way to scrap his scalp causing him to push me closer with his hands pressed on my lower back.

When we pulled apart we were grinning like idiots but I didn't care, after weeks of wailing because he was acting weird and weeks of being away of him I realized there was no way I could be without him again. He was my everything.

I rested my head on his chest as he kept swaying us. "Did I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" He asked dodging his head to the side so he could see me, I shook my head smiling. "You do, Sweetheart." I put my hand on his cheek.

"Thanks, E." I said leaning over as he stood there as if he was frozen. "You don't look bad, either. Have I ever told you how _insanely hot_ you look in a suit?" He swallowed loudly and crashed his lips to mine, hard. I felt as if I couldn't nor wouldn't get enough of him, ever.

We kept dancing and he spun me around with my arms over my stomach while my hands held his opposite one. I was looking to the ground with a smile plastered on my face when Edward leaned to whisper on my ear.

"Don't look up," Instinctively, I raised my head bit, "Bella!"

"Sorry, sorry."

He kissed my cheek and I felt the blood rushing up to my cheeks. "Aww, you're blushing, Baby." I elbowed him on the ribs and he chuckled. "Anyway, I was trying to tell you that our mothers are staring at us like they just found cure for cancer." I shrugged, not really caring.

They were seeing the cure for _my_ disease.

Out of nowhere more people began filling the dance floor and I groaned, it was mostly old people but seriously, haven't they just left? I sighed frustrated and Edward must have guessed the reason behind it because he grabbed my hand and slowly, in consideration of my poor feet, pulled me into a door I hadn't noticed before. Inside there, were four couches around the room and nothing else. Why would there be a room with only couches? Whatever, it was my escape. Edward sat on one of them and I followed suit.

We both sat facing each other and with no more words we both leant over and started kissing. Yes, I had missed him but suddenly kissing him had another whole new meaning. I had my hands on his chest while his were over the black fabric on my legs. As the kiss grew more frenzy his hands dodged under my dress and I stood on my knees gripping his hair tightly between my fingers. He moved his hands to the back of my legs and turned me so I was straddling him.

"God, Bella. I've missed you." He said in a raspy voice when I moved my lips to his neck, he leant his head on the couch and tilted his head to the side, his hands running up and down my sides finally settling them on my hips. "Is this okay, Baby?" He asked as he moved my hips along his length. I moaned into his neck and he did it again. "Is it?"

"God, yes." So, we've had sex before but it was never like this. First of all, we were on a party, my freaking party at that, where his parents and mine were. Second of all… I don't know, it just felt different... less gentle. I took off his jacket and he threw it to the other side of the couch before hastily getting rid of his tie. I went back to kissing him and he ground into me once more before his phone started beeping across us.

"Fuck." He groaned as he moved a hand around my waist as he leant over to take it off from his jacket. "What? Oh, hey Mom… We're talking, Mom… Yes, Mom… No, Mom… Okay, Mom… Bye, Mom." As soon as he hung up I began chuckling and he rolled his eyes wrapping both his arms around me as I did the same around his neck. "Apparently it doesn't look fine that we disappeared from the party."

"Yeah? Well, too bad." I grinned at him, I was just that happy. We stayed staring into each other's eyes for a while, not saying anything. It wasn't needed.

He sighed, looking away and ran a hand through his hair. "They want us to go back." He said reaching over for his jacket and tie. I stood up and straightened the dress with my hands and ran a hand through my hair nervously. Edward handed me his tie as he shrugged on the jacket.

"Your mom put it for you?" I asked giggling as I crossed it around his neck.

"Yeah, shut up. Is your fault, usually you help me out with it." I shook my head still smiling.

"I can't believe an eighteen year old can't put on a tie." He rolled his eyes and I tugged on his tie making him lean down. "Come here, pretty boy." I kissed him again, stepping away when he tried to turn me back to the couch.

"You're not playing fair, Swan." I chuckled and reached out for his hand. I couldn't believe that ten hours earlier there was pretty much an abysm between us and now it seemed as if we couldn't not touch the other.

"Shut up, Cullen." I guided him to where my mom was standing alongside my father. "Mom," I whined knowing that it'd get Dad's attention and one of them would let me leave. "Can I go home?"

"But, Bella! Is your party!" My mom scolded and I had to suppress the eye roll.

"Yes, but it's late and I'm tired and my feet hurt and, and… and your friends are all buzzed!"

"Isabella!" My mom put a hand over her chest. _What. The. Fuck?_

"Just let her Ren," My dad said from behind her and I smiled brightly at him mouthing my thanks when Mom was busy glaring at him. "Want the car, Bells?" He asked patting his pockets for the keys, they had driven me here.

"Um, I'd like to drive her home, Charlie." Edward said shyly from behind me. Dad raised his eyes to Edward and looked at him with an eyebrow raised for few minutes before waving us off as he turned to one of the caterers for a drink. "I need to ask Carlisle for his keys, okay?" He said after we had walked away from my parents and I nodded. "I'll be back real quick." He kissed my forehead and left me standing there alone in the middle of the room. I sighed and tried not to think any out of it and walked to the main door.

When we were already on Carlisle's Mercedes, I was still thinking on what almost happened back there. Edward sensed my distress and reached over to put a hand over my bare knee. It had the opposite reaction. I took his hand and turned it so my hand was the one on my knee and his on top.

We got to my house in record time and before I even noticed Edward was by my side opening my door. I got out and he closed the passenger door before leaning over it, stretching his arms to wrap them around my waist pulling me to stand between his legs. "What's wrong, Bella?" I looked to the floor and he pulled me closer. "Bella?"

"I… um…"

He sighed, "Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. I let myself get too carried away. Sorry." I shook my head and looked up.

"No… Is just that I think that… um… we should take things slowly." His expression didn't change, his body didn't tense. He gave me no indication as to what he was thinking and the fact he wasn't talking didn't help either.

"Okay." He said calmly and I looked at him trying to find something that told me he was not okay with it. He chuckled. "Stop looking at me like that, B. I mean it, it's probably for the best so, yes, why not?" He shrugged and I hugged him, hiding my face on his chest inhaling deeply. "And stop sniffing me, it's weird." I chuckled and blushed though he couldn't see me.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry." I pushed away to look at his face. "About this." I touched his cheek, he sighed.

"Rosalie did that, Bella."

"Yeah, but… you know… I'm sorry."

"Let's just forget about it, okay?"

"I love you, Edward." I said into his chest and he relaxed against the car hugging me tightly.

"I love you, too, Bella. You've got no idea how much I do." We stayed there for a while. I don't really know why we didn't come in. When I started trembling Edward took off his jacket and made me put it on answering my refusal of him getting cold with a 'If you keep hugging me, I'll be fine'. "Bella, I hate to do this," he said breaking the silence after a while "But Dad told me to have his car back by one and I only have ten minutes to go back."

"Oh, _Oh!_" I pushed myself away from him and gave him the jacket, which he held with a finger behind his back.

"Will you dream of me tonight?" He asked smiling innocently.

"Will _you_?" I asked back my arms going back to his neck.

"Of me? I'm not that egocentric, Bella." He chuckled and I rolled my eyes.

"No, silly. Of me."

"Always do. Now answer,"

"Um," I tapped my chin as I was considering it. "I… let me see… Is Friday? Then yes, is your turn."

"My turn? What is that supposed to mean, Swan?" I chuckled and I shook my head.

"Of course I'll dream of you, you idiot."

He kissed my forehead, "Good." He leant down as if to kiss me but merely brushed his nose to mine. "Goodnight."

"What? No goodnight kiss?" I asked pouting.

"You set the pace, Baby"

I sighed, "I want you to kiss me." He put a hand on my cheek and stroked it as he barely touched his lips to mine.

"Goodnight, Bella."

* * *

"BELLA! Open the door will you sweetie?" I groaned and stood up from the couch. One would have thought that because it was my birthday they wouldn't send me to open the damn door.

"Hi…" I said shyly to whomever was holding the huge bear in one hand and a huge bouquet of red roses on the other.

"Hey, Baby." I stepped out smiling and he moved the bear, handing it to me. I smiled wider and left the bear and flowers on one of the chairs before I threw myself at him, he caught me chuckling. "Happy Birthday."

I looked up at him smiling like a fool, "Thanks." He shook his head and got the hint when I stood on my tiptoes. He kissed me gently until, and of course, someone interrupted.

"Edward." The poor guy jumped as far as he could from me as my dad seized him up and down.

"Good morning, Charlie." He simply nodded and sipped from his cup, gave a warning glance and walked back in. I hurriedly walked to where Edward was and wrapped my arms around him. "Geez, Bella. Is your dad ever gonna like me?" I shrugged.

"Dunno." He sighed and kissed the top of my head.

"Okay, Birthday Girl, do you have plans or can I take you out?"

"Um, I do have plans…" I trailed off, tightening my hold on him.

"Oh, okay."

"But you could come, you know?"

"Is it with your friends? Or with you parents?"

"Is just bowling with the girls. I think Em, Jazz and Felix are coming too."

"You sure? I mean, I don't-"

"Yes, I'm sure." I cut him off irritated and he smiled down at me.

"Meanwhile, can we do something? I didn't see you yesterday. I… sort of… missed you." The tip of his ears turned pink and I laughed at him. He turned pinker and hid his face on my neck. "Shut up." I kissed his temple and he gave my body a squeeze.

"Let me go change, okay?" He nodded but made no attempt to let go of me or moved at all. "E, I sorta need you to move your arms from around me." He nodded again. "Edward!" I whined and he chuckled finally moving his arms from around me.

"Hmmm," He leaned back and looked to the sky before looking back at me with a bright smile. "It's sunny; we could go for a swim or something." And how could I say no to him when he acts like that and his eyes are all happy?

"Sure. Do you want to come in?" He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.

"With you dad there? I'll stay here, Sweetie." I shook my head smiling.

"I'll be right back."

* * *

"Come on, Baby!" I was lying on a lounge chair while he was in the pool. He'd been whining about my way of taking a swim for hours. Drops of water hit my feet and I raised an eyebrow at him, he smiled at me innocently. "If I'm not mistaken you agreed on coming for a swim."

"Yeah, and?"

"And! You're over there" He pointed me before pointing at himself. "And I'm over_ here._ In the water."

"Okay, Edward. Apparently you don't get it so I'll explain. Girls swimming, more often than not, imply a magazine, good sun, shades and a glass of ice tea." I raised my glass and smiled at him.

"That's coke. _Duh_." He rolled his eyes and I laughed at him. I turned my attention back to the magazine I was reading and I was surprised that he had dropped the subject. I was mistaken, of course. The sun suddenly disappeared and water was falling over me. "Hi, Baby." I took of my shades and glared at him. He was hovering over me and of course I was already fully wet.

"You ruined my magazine." I threw it to the side and he shrugged.

"Join me in the pool." I shook my head. "Please?" I shook my head again. "You sure?" I nodded. "Okay," He shrugged and stood up. I smiled smugly until he lifted me up, when I started hitting his shoulders. By the edge of the pool he put me back on my feet. I was not expecting him to actually push me into the pool and that's why when he pressed his finger on my stomach I fell down.

When I resurged he was laughing and he only laughed louder when I glared at him. He jumped into the pool and stood right in front of me. "I hate you." I said when he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"You hate me?" He asked, taking a step to the wall.

"I hate you." He pressed me against the wall and I moved my arms around his neck.

"I love you." I smiled briefly before his lips touched mine. I ran my hands through his damp hair, pulling him closer and his hands moved to my hips, I put my legs around his waist and he stepped even closer, groaning into the kiss.

I felt his arousal against my thigh and I couldn't help the moan that escaped me. He moved his mouth to my neck and his hands came to my butt, pressing me completely against him. He ground into me and I tugged on his hair to bring his lips back to mine.

"Fuck Bella." He pulled apart and joisted me up to sit on the edge of the pool. He hid his face on my knee and I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking about how we were supposed to take things slow. I moved my hand to his hair and he kissed the inside of my knee, I chuckled. "You're ticklish." He said amused and kissed my knee again, I chuckled again. He kissed higher and I bit my lip but the giggles still came out. He looked up at me and smiled a smile that reminded me of the pictures that adorned the walls of the stairs of his house.

He kissed my stomach and I laughed which caused him to laugh against my skin, which caused me to laugh even harder and push his face away. "You're amazing, Bella." He chuckled, going back to his crooked smile. I had my hand pressed against his forehead and he pointed at his mouth. "Kiss me." I leaned over and give him a little peck and his smile only grew. I moved my hand to his nape and he tugged on my legs and I was back in the water.

He swam around the pool while I stayed there, watching him. My phone beeped behind me and I turned and hoisted myself up with an arm to reach my phone. It was a Happy Birthday message from a friend and as I was replying Edward came behind me and wrapped his arms around me. He nuzzled his face on my neck and I raised a hand behind me to place it over his head. I put the phone back on the chair it had been and tried to turn but Edward's hold only got stronger.

He reached past me and into the towel he had brought from upstairs. A little black box was on his hand and he placed it in front of me. "Happy birthday, Baby." He kissed my neck and I turned my head to kiss him. "Open it." He murmured against my lips.

I undid the little purple bow and took the lid and placed it on the floor as I took the bracelet out of the box. It was a silver charm bracelet from which only two pendants were hanging down, a heart and an E.

"Thanks Edward. I love it." I said in a low voice and this time when I tried to turn he let me, I handed him the bracelet and extended my arm so he could put it on.

"I'm glad you liked it. You can keep filling it, I didn't think you'd like the common stuff people hang on them…" He closed the clasp and I shook my hand between us before wrapping my arms around his neck. "I hope you don't think the E is a bit pretentious but… I dunno…" I pressed my lips to his.

"I don't, I love it." He smiled his childish smile again and I smiled back.

"You better, Sweetheart. It was embarrassing to get it."

"Huh?"

"Remember that day when you and our mothers just wandered off? When we were in France?" I nodded. "Well, I was left with my dad and your father. I had asked Carlisle to help me find something nice for you since I know nothing about jewellery. But apparently he thought it'd be funny to ask _your_ father to come too. He kept giving me _the_ look and would make disapproving noises to _everything_ I picked up."

"I'm sure it got you some brownie points with him."

"Yeah well, I'm still missing like, billions and billions." I chuckled and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him again. It was soft and gentle and perfect but I wanted more, we both wanted more. He rested his hands on my hips and pulled me against him, my chest was heaving up and down with every laboured breath I took and it got only worse –or better– when his mouth moved behind my ear and he began sucking lightly.

Next thing I know we are on his bed and his hand is on my thigh holding it against his hip while the other is on my back. His mouth is on my stomach and my back is arched, and the sounds leaving my mouth are still alien to me. Suddenly, he's completely over, with both his hands flat against the mattress on each of my sides.

"First of all, is this _slow_?" His glazed eyes were looking right into mine and I sighed shaking my head.

"No." He nodded and rested his forehead on my shoulder. "But I don't care, Edward. I want- no, I _need_ you." He groaned against my skin and I could almost hear his thoughts as he thought it over.

"You sure? Becau–" He moved to look at me and I nodded.

"Yes, I'm sure." He sighed, looked to the side and then ran a hand through his hair before looking back at me.

"I, um, I don't have any condoms." He looked away awkwardly. "Let's not tempt faith; we're lucky enough as it is that you're not pregnant already. Wait… you are not… are you?"

"No, Edward. I'm not pregnant."

"Okay, great." The tips of his ears were already pink. "Still, we don't…"

"I'm on the pill Edward." He frowned at me and raised an eyebrow. I shrugged, he nodded and swallowed. He leaned over and placed his lips against mine.

"I love you, Bella."

* * *

"How was that?" I asked as I slid back on the stool next to him. He took a sip of his drink and then offered me some.

"Impressive." He winked at me and I smiled, leaning over to kiss his cheek. He circled his arm around my shoulders and grabbed a fry from the plate in front of him. He moved when it was his turn and winked at me when it was a strike. I blushed and Jessica elbowed me giggling.

He came back to his seat and again wrapped his arm around me even though he was talking to Emmett. Rose cursed when one pin stayed up and stormed back to her seat. The real competence here was between her and Edward. He didn't care though, but Rose as per usual was being her antagonist self around Edward.

"Nice bracelet." Rose said after taking a sip from her drink. Instinctively I shook my hand.

"Birthday present."

"Oh, I _see."_ She rolled her eyes and pointed the E dangling down my wrist. I shrugged off Edward's arm and instead he moved his hand to my knee. I leaned over to whisper to Rose.

"Seriously, Rose, what's the problem with him?" She chuckled darkly.

She stood up and grabbed her purse. "Em, we gotta get going." Emmett looked up and nodded, he said goodbye to everyone and then they were gone. I looked after them and my gaze didn't move after they had left.

"Baby, it's your turn." Edward waved a hand over my face. I stood up and lazily threw the ball down the aisle. Not today. It's my birthday. Not today. I came back to the booth and began moving my fries around the plate. "What's wrong?" Edward whispered in my ear and I shook my head. "Get out for a sec," He nudged my side and I slid out, when he had done the same I went to sit but he took my hand and dragged me in front of a Mrs. Pacman game.

"What?" I looked up at him.

"What is wrong, Bella?"

"Why would there be something wrong?"

"Why, I don't know. I just know something_ is_ wrong."

"There's nothing wrong." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Bella?" He imitated my position and took a step away from me, looking to the floor. "Is this about… earlier?"

"Is Rose, okay?" I threw my arms to my sides. "I know you hate each other and all and probably you don't even want to hear about it but I'm getting tired of all her cryptic comments."

"If it upsets you I want to hear it, Bella." He put his hands on my waist and looked down to them. "If you want to talk about it, I'm listening."

"No, it's okay." I wrapped my arms around his waist and closed my eyes as I rested my head against his chest.

"Do you want to leave?"

"I don't want to go home." I did want to leave; I did not want to leave _him_.

"I'm sure Mom wants to see you." I rested my chin on his chest and looked up at him, smiling.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it." He kissed me chastely and walked me back to the table to say our goodbyes. The ride to his home was filled with music I chose randomly from his iPod and he complaining every two seconds about the song I had chosen.

"It's your iPod, aren't you supposed to like what you have there?" He put an arm around my shoulders as we walked to his front door.

"Yeah, but there are songs I _used_ to like and once in a while I just want to listen to them." He opened the door and motioned for me to walk in. Once inside, he took my hand and ran up the stairs.

"I thought we were here to see your mother."

"Yeah, no." He smirked and pushed me into his room, pinning me to the door. "_Hi_," He whispered before pressing his lips to mine. I slid my hand up his chest to his neck and pulled him closer. His arms were around my waist and his forehead against mine after he had pulled away. "What do you want to do?" I shrugged and he looked around the room before smiling and pulling me to sit on the edge of the bed. He told me to wait for few minutes and he walked out of the room.

"Where did you go?" I asked when he was walking back in.

"To get this." He lifted the guitar I hadn't seen until then and took the chair from his desk putting it in front of me, before sitting down on it. "I haven't played for you in centuries." I smiled as he positioned his hands over the guitar. "Any request, Birthday Girl?"

"Whatever you want to play." I smiled and he ran a hand through his hair, looking deep in thought.

"Okay, but don't laugh." He cleared his throat and started playing The Reason by Hoobastank, he was even whispering the words out. I have always loved the song but as he was halfway through it I just got that feeling I've been getting so much lately and the smile in my face turned into a frown and he was so into the song, his eyes closed as his voice grew louder to a normal tone, that he didn't notice. I don't think he noticed when his voice broke a couple times over the same part twice.

"_I'm not a perfect person__  
__I never meant to do those things to you__  
__And so I have to say before I go__  
__That I just want you to know_

_I've found a reason for me__  
__To change who I used to be__  
__A reason to start over new__  
__and the reason is you_"

* * *

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	10. Chapter 10

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all**

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**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 10**

**One breath, too late****  
You're gone for good.  
Twelve floors down to the street  
It's funny how far it seems**

****

But what could I do  
And what would I change  
When everything's strange  
And why should I learn to fly  
When I could just hide away  
Isn't it strange?

**Under my skin  
Scars turn to stone  
The freeway fades red to grey  
I guess you found another way home**

**Joe Brooks**** – ****Strange**

**EPOV**

I looked up as I felt a hand on my shoulder. Emmett. "Edward." I answered with a simple 'Hey' before looking back down to the device on my hands.

_You know, no matter how much you stare down at it, it just won't go off unless she calls you._

_Shut up._

_Seriously? You saw her like, what? Eight hours ago?_

_Shut up._

_It is not even funny._

_Shut. Up._

Did arguing with myself counted as losing my mind? Because if it did I had completely lost it. With no hope for getting it back. I sighed, running a hand through my hair while my phone rested on the other one. I've been up for like an hour earlier than normal, just in case Bella called and wanted me to pick her up. I mean, I've been doing that for years until… well, until we broke up. But we were together again –cue the smile on my face- it just didn't occurred to me to ask her last night when I took her home.

And now it's like I don't know if maybe she is waiting me to stop by or what. I could call her but then if she doesn't expect me to pick her up she'd assume, correctly, that I wanted to pick her up so she'd just agree to it because I wanted that. And I did not want her to agree to something just because I wanted that. It wasn't supposed to work like that, right?

_Huh? Really Cullen, you're worse than a girl._

_Shut the fuck up._

"BABE!" Emmett hollered at Satan in heels coming our way at the same time he jumped down from the table to pretty much run her way. As they_ greeted _each other by her car I kept moving my eyes from the entrance to my phone and back up. And, okay… If I was being honest with myself I just wanted to fucking see her. I stretched my back before placing my hands behind me and leaning on them. _Ugh_. They were coming here.

Is like, I _really _don't have any issues with Rosalie, is just that she's so bent down on hating me that I just can't help but reciprocate the feelings. I know -and understand- why she hates me though, and I totally deserve it but, really? Can't she see that she's into this mess just as I am? She has known all along, and she has done nothing to at least try and stop it. A hateful scowl thrown at me won't hurt me. Well, not thrown by her at least.

Besides, I wasn't the one that upset Bella the day of her birthday. I mean, it was her birthday… I don't know what she told Bella but it was obviously related to me and it obviously upset her. I did the best I could to avoid her while she tried to show off, just because I know she's Bella's friend and _blah, blah, blah_. I put some effort into it; she might as well have done the same.

"_Scumbag_." Rosalie sneered my way after acknowledging everyone by the table.

"Always a pleasure to see you, Rosalie." I rolled my eyes and looked back towards the entrance. Empty. I sighed and looked to my front.

I saw a bunch of girls walking past the table and I smiled. I nudged Jasper out of the way and reached out to grab Bella's elbow, spinning her around and the smile she gave me when she saw me was enough for me to die a happy man right then. She wasn't expecting the sudden movement and stumbled a bit, supporting herself by putting her hands on my thighs. I moved my hands around her waist and pulled her in for a kiss, I was expecting her to pull away or something since she has never liked to kiss me in public but she surprised me when she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back. That was until Emmett started whistling. She smiled at me and I winked at her before I slid backwards on the table and patted the space between my legs, I wrapped my arms around her waist and hid my face on the crook of her neck after she had sat.

"Love you." I whispered into her ear and she squeezed my hand.

"Really, guys?" Jasper scoffed from his spot beside Emmett, "Last week you couldn't even see each other and now you are all..." He swirled his hand in the air, pointing at us. "_Ew_." I aimed my foot at him but he moved, laughing.

"You know, Jasper," Bella started, straightening her back. I pulled her closer. _Why was she talking to Jasper? _"One day you are going to actually like a girl-"

"I like girls, _B_. I like girls, _a lot_." He said with a smirk I knew all too well. _Was he seriously flirting with _my_ girl _right in front _of me?_

"What I am trying to say, _J_, is that when the day in which you'll actually want a girl -and_ trust me_ the day will come- she just won't give a shit about you." She smiled sweetly at him while Emmett laughed.

"Well, I'd rather have a girl that doesn't want me because she knows how I am than having a girl that is _completely clueless_. Right, Cullen?" He raised an eyebrow in my direction before walking away._ Son of a bitch._

Bella turned to me, smile gone. "What is he-" And right then I sent a quick prayer to God for the interruption.

"Hey guys! What's-" That was until I realized who had came to my rescue. Tanya. And, _yes_, I _am_ aware of the irony. "Oh! You guys... Are you together _again_?" She stuttered her question out and the sweet smile was back on Bella's face. _Oh, fuck._

"Yes, Tanya. Aren't you happy for us?" I ran a hand over my face and looked to the side. Of course Emmett was finding this funny. He was biting his lip trying to hide his smile and probably trying to stop his laughter from coming out.

"Of course, Bells. _Congrats_." She smiled at me and I immediately looked to the other side. "I mean, no hard feelings, right?" Was she fucking serious?

"None at all, Tanya." Now, there was an edge in Bella's voice that made the hairs in my nape stand.

"_Just ignore her, Baby_." I barely whispered into her hair.

"Great, I'll see you at the practice, then." She walked away and I have never been more relieved in my life than right then.

"Let's go." The edge was still there. Bella took my hand in hers and stood up, dragging me along her into the building. I walked with her to her locker and leaned on the one next to hers while she put her bag in and took her books out. She made no attempt to talk and I was afraid to do so. She closed her locker rather forcefully. "Don't follow me." She said with the edge still there and stormed down the hallway. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ I stood there a couple minutes considering whether to go after her or not before the bell rang taking the decision from me. The first period dragged on and what felt centuries later the bell rang, I pretty much ran to where Bella had her class but she wasn't there. Fuck.

_And that's only for one kiss. Wait 'til she knows the entire true_. My inner voice mocked me and I tugged on my hair willing it to shut up.

_Just one week. Just one week. Just one week._ I chanted to myself. I had decided that next week I'll just fucking tell her. I just wanted this fucking week with her but it seemed as if God didn't want me to have the damn week I wanted. First Jasper, then Tanya, who's next? Emmett? Felix? Rosalie?

In the twisted ways my brain worked I had decided I wanted to wait until after our anniversary to come clean. It's just that… two years _are_ a big deal. Even with the circumstances I had put us in. I mean, I just wanted to plan something nice –what? I still don't know– for her.

I walked into my next class and halfway through it I took my phone from my pocket and hid it under the table.

**_If I could take back all the shit I've done, trust me, I would. -E_**

**_The thing is, that you can't -B_**

**_I'm sorry, Bella. I really am. -E_**

**_That doesn't change anything, -B_**

**_Tell me what to do, then. -E_**

**_What was Jasper talking about, Edward? -B_**

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _I've kept up with this lie for so long, one more week won't hurt, _right?_

**_I have no idea, Bella. –E_**

She didn't reply anymore and I don't really blame her. _Now_, I know that Bella was just _so close_ to discovering the truth. I even think she had already figured it out; she just didn't want to actually _see_ the truth. That's now, but _then_ I just felt like shit because I was trying to do things right this time, yet there I was lying. Fully aware that it'd come back to me and give me a real nice punch right in the face.

For the rest of the period, and the next one, I fixed my eyes on the tip of my finger repeatedly hitting the desk in front of me.

* * *

"Edward? Can you do me a favor?" She asked unsure through the phone and I sighed.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Could you please pick me up?"

"Huh?" I said patting my pockets, looking for my keys. I looked at my watch, she was still in school.

"Um, yeah. Rose drove me today but she already left."

"Okay,"

"Thanks." I hung up and jogged down the stairs. At least I'd get to know if she's still upset with me. I idly drove to the school and as soon as I parked in front of the main entrance my passenger door was being opened.

"Hi." I said as I started driving back to my house. "What's wrong with your car?"

"I couldn't find my keys this morning." She shrugged and turned her body to the window. _Oh, great_. The rest of the drive was filled with the sounds of raindrops hitting the roof of my car. And _nothing_ else. Frustrated to no end, I pressed the button for the garage door to open and drove in. I took the keys from the ignition before placing my hands over the wheel. "Um…"

"You've ignored me _all day long_. I'm not letting you go if you're still upset with me." I didn't move my hands or my eyes, waiting for her to talk. She raised her legs onto the seat and hugged her knees against her chest.

"When did things started getting so… hard?" She whispered barely loud enough for me to hear.

"We've always been _that _couple, you know? _The perfect couple._ I guess it's catching up on us." Another good ten minutes of silence before she spoke again.

"You've changed."

"How?"

"I don't know. Ever since France you are just… _different_."

"So, is that _it_? I've changed?"

"No. I mean, sometimes it's nice."

"But?"

"Sometimes it isn't."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Is just that… Sometimes you act all nice but then out of the blue you just start… I don't know…"

"My feelings have changed, Bella."

"What do you mean?"

"Listen, I've always cared for you. _Deeply_. But caring does not equal _loving_."

"Are you telling me you don't love me?"

"No, Bella._ I do love you_. But… _God_… I've been lying, okay? I hated that you felt stronger about me than what I felt for you so I lead you on to believing I was in love with you. Don't ask me why or how or when, because I honestly have _no idea_, but over the summer I just fell in love with you."

"I knew that already."

"What? You did?"

"Yes. And _that's_ why I don't get it."

"What you don't get?"

"Why things are becoming tough now." She shifted in her seat and when she spoke again her voice was louder. "What were you thinking?"

"When?"

"When you kissed Tanya." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"I wasn't thinking. I was drunk and jealous and hurt. You know this already, Bella."

"It's just impossible that you weren't thinking, Edward."

"Well, I don't know what I was thinking, then." I hit the wheel before removing my hands from it. This was so fucking hard. I slid down the seat a bit preparing for the silence I knew was to come. I rested my elbow on the door panel and my head on my hand.

Idly, I wondered how there were men that did this throughout their entire life and managed to have a great career, family, social life and… whatever.

_Well, you _just_ started to care._ Have I mentioned how much I hated my inner voice? Because I did. Profusely. _You do realize that I'm your conscience, right? Not some inner voice, as you put it._

I scoffed at myself and threw the door open and walked as fast as I could to the other side of the car, opening the passenger door and holding it open until Bella got out. I took her hand and dragged her up the stairs to the kitchen, where my mom thankfully wasn't, out of it, down the hallway to the stairs and up to the third floor, into the room I had adopted as my second one.

"Listen," I said moving close enough for her not to be able to move but far enough that I wasn't pressing her to the door. "I can't change what I've done. _Sadly_, I can't. What I can do though, is apologize and try to make it better. And, Bella, _I want to_ _make things better_. I _am_ trying." _Kinda_. "The thing is, I don't know whether I am making it right or not. You have to meet me halfway here."

She huffed and crossed her arms protectively over her chest. "Is not just you, okay? _Yes_, the thing with Tanya… upsets me, for lack of a better word. But… I just _feel_ something is wrong, Edward." She looked up at me, right into my eyes and I had to swallow hard to force the lump that had formed in my throat back down. "See? Now you get that guilty look and… _God_…" She looked to the side, shaking her head lightly before looking back at me. "Edward, you do know that, whatever it is, I'm going to find out, do you?"

When I look back into this moment all I can think is about time being like a rubber band. You can just stretch it so much, and I, with every passing second and with every passing lie, just stretched until the point it gave in…

…_and broke_.

* * *

**Sorry, short chapter. But we're getting _there_.**

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	11. Chapter 11

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all**

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**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 11**

**Must you do the things you do  
Keep on acting like a fool  
You need to know it's me not you  
And if you didn't know it girl it's true.**

**I think that you should realize,  
And try to understand why  
He is a part of my life  
I know it's killing you inside.**

**You can say what you wanna say.  
What we have you can't take.  
From the truth you can't escape.  
I can tell the real from the fake.**

**When will you get the picture?  
You're the past, I'm the future  
Get away it's my time to shine  
If you didn't know the boy is mine.**

**_Monica – The Boy is Mine_**

**EPOV**

Want me to pick you up?" I asked as I buttoned up my shirt. Today there was no over thinking. Today I _needed_ an opportunity to talk to her.

_"Bella, come on..."_

_"Come on what, Edward? I_am_going to fin- Agh, you know what? Just take me home." She turned to open the door and I just followed after her._

_"Bella!" Oh God. Mom was just stepping into the second floor._

_"Hello, Esme" she replied with a smile that kind of reached her eyes._How sad is it that your girl gets happier seeing your mom?

_"Are you staying for dinner?"_

_"Ehm, Mom, I was going to take Be-"_

_"Sure Esme" Bella said turning to glare at me._ Really?

_"Okay, great." She walked away and into her room. I leaned against the wall, crossing my arms over my chest. "What?" I said after some minutes of Bella staring at me._

_"_What?_ You're the one that's standing there like a statue."_

_I pushed myself away from the wall. "I can't seem to win with you today -or ever- so, I'm going to do my homework. You know the house, do whatever you want." I walked into my room but left the door open._ Just in case.

_I sat on my bed, reached under it for my bag and read two pages of the book before Bella walked in, ignoring me, and sat on the couch. I looked to my desk, how the hell she got her bag, my keys were there._

_I looked back to her and she had a binder on her lap and was tapping a pencil against it, calculus book next to her._

Fuck. I need help with that.

_"Baby?" The tapping stopped briefly before she leaned down a bit to write. I sighed and went back to my English homework._

And the rest of the day was just the same which was the reason why I just _needed_ to talk to her.

"I have my car, Edward."

"Bella, please."

"No." _Ah well, time for plan B._

"Okay." I hung up, grabbed my bag, walked downstairs, yelled that I was leaving, and walked out. I drove down the street to Bella's house. I knew she'd hate me for this but well, this damn week I was buying for myself was to _actually_ spend it with her so…yeah. I parked behind Charlie's cruiser and jogged up the stairs to the front door, knocked twice before a grown version of Bella opened the door.

"Edward!" She said surprised. "It's been a while, huh?"

"Hmm, I guess." I chuckled nervously and ran a hand through my hair. "I came to pick Bella up." I pointed behind me to my car, why? I have no idea I just did.

"Sure. She should be down any minute now." She opened the door wider to let me in at the same time Bella appeared at the top of the stairs, putting her hair up in a ponytail. I smiled and she stopped briefly before walking slower.

"Edward,"

"Hey," I put my hands in my pockets, Renée's presence making me nervous.

"See you later, Mom." Bella said as she picked her bag from beside the door and walked right past me. I waved awkwardly at Renée and walked after Bella. She was already in the car, looking to the front. I slid into my seat and put the key into the ignition. She was tapping her finger against her thigh and as soon as we were out of sight from her house she turned to me, glaring. "I told you no."

"You talking to me now?"

"Not really." She turned to the window and took her iPod from her pocket. Really, these kinds of things shouldn't bother me so much, considering that I deserve them but it does bother me. _Really _bothers me. And by the time we got to the school I already had a headache. I didn't even bother by stopping her when she walked right out of the car even before I had finished parking. Actually, I had decided I'd play her game of not fucking talking to each other until later in the morning my mom reminded me through a text that I had to be in Seattle at two for my dentist appointment.

"See? I could have my car right now."

"Well, yeah, sorry. I forgot I had that appointment."

"Whatever, Edward." She closed her locker and turned to me with an annoyed expression. "Just… stop stalking me for a while, okay?"

"Stalking you?" I laughed. "_Are you serious_? For God's sake, Bella, I'm your _boyfriend_. I don't _stalk _you." She raised her eyebrow and I shook my head. "Know what? I'll stop _stalking_ you. See you 'round" I didn't move though, I stared at her half-annoyed half-angry, it didn't help much when Bella stared right back mirroring my expression. The hallway was empty by the time she rolled her eyes and turned around to walk away. I couldn't help myself. Yes, I was upset and even tired at her attitude towards me but I just _kinda_ missed the sweet and loving girl _my Bella_ usually was.

I reached for her elbow. "Wait," She turned around, sighing heavily. "_What_, Edward?"

"Give me a kiss?"

"_What_?" She asked incredulously.

"Please?" She looked over her shoulder briefly.

"I'm gonna be late for class."

"You already are. Besides, I'm leaving and I'm sure you won't let me see you later, or tomorrow for that matter, so..." I shrugged. "Never mind." I turned, dejected, but she put her hand on my arm turning me back to her and her lips were instantly on mine. I closed my eyes, my hand finding its way to her waist while the other went to her cheek, caressing it softly as our lips moved together.

We pulled apart couple minutes after and I moved my head to the crook of her neck. "I love you, Baby, _so much_. I miss you." She slid her hands down my chest, pushing me away, and reached one to my lips probably to clean off her lipstick.

"Listen," She said, cupping my chin and looking up into my eyes. "Stop by my house when you're back from Seattle, okay?" She kissed my cheek and began walking away. "I love you, too, by the way." She said over her shoulder and I couldn't help the smile that took over my face. Had I known, I would have just asked her to kiss me yesterday morning when all this started.

As she was walking away I couldn't help but stare, since when she wore dresses for school? Dresses that showed off her legs...

"Edward?" A voice came from behind me and I shook my head before turning towards the voice.

Oh my God,

"Yes, Tanya?" I looked back to where Bella had been, checking she wasn't seeing me with Tanya. I certainly did not need that.

"So, back to your girl, huh?" Only then I notice that she had _that_ smile plastered on her face. The smile that four months ago would have had me in the janitor's closet in the blink of an eye. The smile that did nothing to me anymore.

"Yes."

"I thought you said you wanted to be alone, Eddie?"

"It's Edward, Tanya. Not even Bella gets away with calling me that." I said annoyed, looking to the sides constantly in a paranoiac state.

"Hmmm," She stepped closer and placed a hand with scaring-ly long nails on my chest. "Well, why would Bella get away with calling you _Eddie_ when I apparently don't."

"Well," I started, taking her hand away from me at the same time I stepped back, "She's my girlfriend, Tanya."

"Which brings us back to my question. _Why_ are you with her again?"

"Because I love her." I ran a hand through my hair. "Listen Tanya, whatever it is that we had is over. I'm not exactly in a good place with her right now, because of that kiss the other day." I sighed, "I _need_ to fix things with her, T." I nearly implored her to understand, I didn't want her going to Bella and telling her about us.

"Okay," She shrugged, smiling. "Fix things up with her and give me a call!" She winked and started to turn.

"No, no, _no!_" I nearly yelled. "Tanya, I am in love with my girlfriend, Bella. We are over. _For good_." I said as if I was talking to a toddler.

She chuckled, "You don't love her, Eddie. She doesn't even know you."

"I do, and she does know me. Probably more than I know myself." Like with that shit about me not liking strong smells. I didn't know it. "Tanya? _We're done_." I said with such finality in my voice that I even managed to surprise myself.

She laughed, again, rather histerically if you asked me.

"So, what? You've now decides that you _love_ her and just because of that everything is fine? You think she's going to just open her arms and take you back? After fucking me on the side for over a year? You _are_ crazy, _Eddie_."

"Well, she _has_ taken me back already, hasn't she?" Okay, I was kinda lying but I was angry now, she had hit right under the belt. "Besides, you just said one of the reasons why she's the one I'm in love with, _not you_. I _fucked_ you, I _make love_ to her. See the difference?" And  
she slapped me, hard. Not that I didn't reserve it.

And then she ran away

Probably my car didn't deserve the yelling and kicking but it was either that, or me crashing my car against a tree. When I sat in front of the wheel of my car I decided that I'd go back home and take out the bike. I had promised myself I would use it more often and this was pretty much a great opportunity. I did needed to calm the fuck down.

_As if my day hadn't turned bad enough as it was_, when I got to the doctor's office his secretary told me he had an emergency with a patient. _Of. Course._ _Really? What's the worst that can happen? A kid fell and his teeth fell down?_ Since I had nothing better to do and I had forgotten the last time I've been there I drove to my Nonna's house. She kissed me and pinched my cheeks and all that shit but the cookies that were on the counter of the kitchen were_ totally_ worth it. _I know_. I'm a kid. A messed up in the head kid. But kid nonetheless.

I was sitting on the counter answering Nonna's questions between bites when my grandpa appeared, whistling some song. Until he saw me.

"Edward," He looked down to his wrist. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

"Hey Grandpa. Yeah, but I had an appointment." He nodded and took a seat in the table, picking up the paper. I'm not sure if my Nonna noticed the tension because she just left. She cleaned her hands _and left_. After fifteen minutes –the ticking of the wall clock was driving me insane– he sighed and dropped the paper.

"So, did you do the _right_ thing?" He didn't need to further explain. I knew. When he looked up I couldn't help but look down.

"Not _yet_." I made emphasis on the 'yet' even though I knew it wouldn't change much hence, the reason why I didn't dare to raise my gaze even when I heard him standing up. Coming from my dad I was used to it, but I couldn't see the disappointment coming from him. He left the kitchen and not even the annoying ticking of the clock could make me feel worse.

**BPOV**

"So, did you think about what I told you yesterday?"

"Yes, Felix. I did." I didn't even look up from my notes.

"And?" He urged. _Desperate much?_

"Listen, what you said _does_ make sense…"

"But?"

"At the same time it _doesn't_." I sighed and dropped the pen above my notebook. "Yes, it is weird that from _all _the people in the party he went straight to Tanya but it doesn't mean anything." He shrugged and turned to the front.

"Just saying, Bella." And yes, that was the reason I was so… _annoyed _with Edward. Probably he didn't deserve it but at the same time I couldn't help but to take it out on him. I mean he _did_ kiss Tanya.

Besides, there was_ this_ nagging feeling inside me I couldn't seem to get rid of.

And is like, I know there's something I should know but I don't. And Edward does. And apparently everyone else, which would explain lots of things such as Jasper cryptic comments throughout the week and Rosalie's usual bitchiness. But I just couldn't pinpoint what it was. And damn if it didn't disturb me. And that was why I had asked him to come over later, he was either telling me or... well, the other side of the either wasn't decided yet. I just didn't see myself breaking up with him, _again_.

The rest of the period Felix kept trying to talk to me but all he was attaining was my annoyance turning towards him. And he did such a good work that by the time the bell rang, I actually ran out of the class. The rest of the day remained_ event-less_. And by event-less I mean, no one came and told me something related to Edward and, for once, Rose was actually in a good mood. For once.

Well, it was not exactly event-less, since at lunch Rose came into the cafeteria with a concerned expression and few minutes later, Tanya came in with her nose and eyes a deep red. Conversation stopped all around the table and everyone turned to her asking her if she was alright, which she obviously wasn't but I didn't even find it in me to care. Call me a bad person or whatever but I even started the conversation again.

Even if I had never liked it, that was how it worked, I was _above_ her -socially speaking- and if I was done _pretending_ to care then everyone was.

_Who said High-School was fair?_

Other than that -which didn't count much to me- the day went by smoothly. A surprise, lately.

A pleasant surprise though.

I was tying my sneakers up when an annoyingly nasal voice broke my peace and faked tanned legs came into view.

"Bella?" _No hard feelings,_ I kept chanting to myself.

"T?" I stood upright and moved my feet from the bench I was supporting it on.

"Can we talk for a sec?"

Not even if hell is freezing. "Sure."

"I just wanted to tell you... Um, I couldn't do what you did, you know? Forgiving Edward about... Well,_ me_." I rolled my eyes. _Yeah sure, now you admire me. And I am five years old._

"We weren't together when that happened." I turned to leave. You know, getting the last word in and all.

"No," She said calmly, I turned back just to see her with her extremely thin eyebrow raised, daring me. "I mean about _before_."

"What are you talking about, Tanya?" I asked slowly, not allowing the wheels to turn in my head. Wheels that _were_ there, _begging_ for permission.

"About all the times be- Oh! You didn't know? I... I... Forget I said anything." She turned to leave but I stopped her by digging my hand in her arm, forcing her to turn around.

"You are letting your imagination get a little carried away, don't you think?"

"I'm sorry, Bella, I really am. But I am not lying."

I laughed, "No. _No!_ You _are_ lying, Edward _loves _me."

"Well, if _that_'s loving, I don't want to see hating." She removed her arm from my grip.

And then it hit me. All the cryptic comments, the glares, the secrets. Feliz. Rose. Jasper. _Everything_. It all just hit me. Just like that. I raised my hand, and grimaced at the sight of chains and charms and an _E_ dangling down my hand.

"Tanya!" I yelled after her. "How long?" My eyes were blurry, my ears on the other hand...

"_Year and half, give or take_."

* * *

**You probably _must_ hate me now. At least I know_ I_ do. I'm sorry, really, really, really, really, sorry. It has been what? Like _three _weeks? My life has just been a total and utter chaos and as if that wasn't enough, my brother broke the computer and, let me tell you, writing large amounts of words on an iPhone is_ really_ a pain in the ass. And then try to make it look readable in Fanfiction. Yeah,_ nearly_ impossible. ****However, here I am! Yay! (Not?) I hope you like the chapter and was at least _kind of_ worth the wait.**

**So, the cat is out of the hat. _Finally_. **

**Comments are highly appreciated. Suggestions, too. _Prayers for me not to take so long next time_, even better. **

**Remember about me asking about a chapter in which we go kinda to the past? Do you still want it? Because I was planning on it before of this chapter or right after, you know, making it chapter 12. So, do you want to just know Bella's reaction or a little more of insight in B&E's relationship?**

**Speaking of Bella's reaction, oniguts sent me a review that had me laughing for _over_ ten minutes. **

**"Someone has to break Tanya's nose, hell break Edward's nose as well, and let Bell ride Felix and Jasper like rodeo horses, and let Edward know about this. GRRRRR I hope Edward gets the karma coming to him****"**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

**

* * *

**

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 12**

**You know I gave you the world**  
** You had me in the palm of your hand**  
** So why your love went away**  
** I just can't seem to understand**  
** Thought it was me and you babe**  
** Me and you until the end**  
** But I guess I was wrong**

** Don't want to think about it**  
** Don't want to talk about it**  
** I'm just so sick about it**  
** Can't believe it's ending this way**  
** Just so confused about it**  
** Feeling the blues about it**  
** I just can't do without ya**  
** Tell me is this fair?**

** Is this the way it's really going down?**  
** Is this how we say goodbye?**  
** Should've known better when you came around**  
** That you were gonna make me cry**  
** It's breaking my heart to watch you run around**  
** 'Cause I know that you're living a lie**  
** That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...**

** What goes around**  
** Comes all the way back around**

**_Justin Timberlake – What Goes Around Comes Around_**

**BPOV**

**_EC _****_wants to start a Video Call with you._**

_"Hey." Smiling on both sides of the screen. "I miss you." Smiling wider on my side of the screen._

_"One more day."_

_"One day_ more_ than bearable."_

_"I know." Sigh. "So, did you make me proud?"_

_"Of course, Baby." Smug grin on his side. "I scored twice. It was hard though, you know, without my good luck kiss." Longing smile on mine._

_"I miss you, too."_

My eyes were glued to the blue of the lockers in front of me. I was sitting on the aisle created by two rows of unused lockers at the back of the room. Someone had come in yelling my name, I didn't answer, and they left.

_About before._

I shook my head furiously, swallowing hard the lump that had formed in my throat. Shaking my head didn't help though, so I tried burying it between my knees that were against my chest.

_You didn't know?_

My phone was lying on the floor in front of me. One button, I just had to press one button and end it all. The thing is, I wasn't sure if that's what I wanted. What if it was a lie? What if all the things that suddenly made sense were just wrong conclusions?

I reached for the phone hastily. I didn't hear the door screeching as it was being opened, all I heard was a soft "Are you okay?" coming from the end of the aisle. I turned to the side, towards the voice. Black, short hair. Pale skin.  
Short height. Well dressed. She looked like she belonged in my circle of friends, she had kind eyes though.

"Only cheerleaders can be here." I said turning back to staring my spot on the lockers.

"I know." Little steps.

"What do you want?"

"I just thought you might need a friend." She sat on the bench between the lockers.

"I _have_ friends."

"_Do you_?" She asked, echoing the thoughts I would never, _ever_, voice.

"How did you know I was here?"

"I heard two girls talking outside. A blonde and a redhead." Tanya and Victoria, I guessed.

"Eavesdropping on the cheer team?"

"No, _reminiscing_." She sighed.

"Who are you?" _And why are you still talking to me?_

"Alice Brandon. I'm new."

"Bella."

"I know." I sighed; of course she'd know me while I didn't even know there was a new girl. I shook my head, _disgusted_, and turned back to stare at the lockers.

_"Hey," A voice from behind me. Smile on my face. A hand on my waist. A whisper in my ear "Let's go outside." Back pressed to the back of the gym. As usual. Arms around his neck. Arms around my waist. "Good luck kiss?" Eyes not leaving my lips. Good luck kiss._

"So... Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"You know, _Edward Cullen_."

_Extremely fake yawning. Arm around my shoulders. Eyes rolling. Head on his chest. Feet on coffee table. Content sigh. Kiss on my head. Credits rolling. Silence_. Something-important-is-about-to-happen silence_. "Be my girlfriend, Bella?" Again, _silence_._

"No." As if on cue, tears started coming out. I couldn't hold them in anymore. Alice jumped down from the bench and came to my side, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"It's okay."

"No! It is _not_ okay! I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me. It. Is. Not. Okay."

"But it will! Calm down. It _will_ be alright!" I leaned my head in her shoulder. "Listen, you're a great girl and clearly deserve way better than Edward Cullen." She said his name as if it was an insult and I had to swallow down the words that would defend him.

"You don't even know me." I sniffed. Why was she being so nice?

"Trust me. _I do_." She let me cry it all out on her shoulder, every now and then whispering words that I didn't register. "You know what?" She talked a while later, after the tears had subsided. "You should show him what he's lost. Because,_ and have this clear_, he's the one losing here. Not you." I know she's right, I _know_ she is but I still can't stop the reply that leaves my mouth.

"I'm losing too, Alice." She sighed.

"Well _yes_, but he's losing so much more." I laughed.

"Yeah, right."

"He is! Girls won't want to be with a cheater." I flinched. It was still too much. "Sorry." She whispered. I sat upright, rubbed my eyes and stood up.

"No, you're right! He won't be able to get any girl!" She smiled.

"Yes! And _you_ can get any boy you want!" She stood up, too. Probably excited that she had gotten a somewhat positive reaction out of me.

I frowned, "But I want him." I muttered and fell back down to the  
floor, new tears forming in my eyes.

_Loud field. Blue and green covered boys. Number 14 ahead all them. Expectancy. Touchdown. Even louder field. Eyes looking for mine. Huge smile and a wink. Chuckling as he was tackled, by _me_. "To you." _

"What if it's not true?" She shrugged.

"Then all this is for nothing but, what if it _is_? Do you think you could, you know, forgive him?"

"I don't know. It'd be _so hard_."

_A year and a half._

"No," I corrected myself, shaking my head furiously. "There's no way I can forgive this..." How pathetic, I can't even say it. "There's no way I can forgive him." I said with such force that I even convinced myself. I stood up, "You know what? He's just not worth it." I grabbed my phone and my bag and walked away, turning once at the end on the aisle. "_Thanks_."

I walked out of the locker room, not aware that practice must have ended by then. I was still wearing the uniform; I decided I'd change later. I just wanted to leave. I went to my locker to pick up a book I needed before heading to the parking lot. I remembered I didn't have my car -I tried very hard not to think as the reason why- and realize I'd have to call my mom. I turned around to the main entrance of the school.

But no, _of course_ I couldn't leave just like that. Of course I had to see her first. I don't know if it was shock, surprise or disgust but when I saw her in the hallway talking to some other girl I immediately took a step back, hitting my back against a locker. She couldn't see me from where I stood but then, I took my time to _really_ see her.

Honestly, she wasn't even that pretty. Not that I was God's gift to earth or anything but there was something about her that just screamed fake-ness. I wouldn't be surprised if she was that kind if girl that woke up _hours _before she needed to just to make herself look good. Her blond hair looked as if it had been bleached, it was almost white, her eyes were a nice shade of blue, I'll give her that but they were way too big to match her fake tiny nose. She appeared to be tall but it was all a trick, in fact she isn't taller than me, the difference though, is that she never steps out of her heels and always wear tight bottoms so, you know, the attention goes somewhere else. Not to mention that she dresses like a slut.

And then I was disgusted at myself, how could I have ever been interested in someone that likes... Well, _that_.

And then I wondered _why_ which led me to start crying again. I didn't want to risk her seeing me so I ran to the front entrance. I stumbled in one of the steps and decided to just sit down. I hid my face between my knees well aware that if anyone drove through this street they'd recognize me. I didn't care though.

I felt an arm around my shoulders and someone sitting beside me. I knew it was Alice.

"_What are you doing here_?" Really, was she stalking me or what?

"My mom's coming to pick me up."

"I _can't_ Alice"

"It hurts, I can understand that but it's up to you what you do about it, Bella. If you really want to be with him then stay with him." And the thing that surprised me the most was that it felt as if she _actually_ understood me. I shook my head, drying off the tears in my face with the sleeve of the hoodie I had pulled on.

Yes, I wanted to be with him. No, I couldn't.

"Listen, why don't you come to my house? We can have ice-cream, watch  
chick flicks, burn pictures, maybe a voodoo doll, or _two_," She shrugged and I chuckled, even in my state she managed to make me chuckle. _Impressive._ "Really though, if you don't feel like going home..." She trailed off and grabbed her bag from behind her as a white car stopped right in front of us. She stood up. "So, you coming or what?"

I smiled sadly."Maybe other day?" I really wanted to go home and hide in my room, under the covers for the rest of my life. I couldn't even describe the way I was feeling; there weren't enough words to explain it.

How do you explain the feeling of your heart being shred into nothing by the same person you have given it to? Or the feeling of being betrayed by that _one_ person that took you out of your darkest hole without even knowing it? Or maybe even the feeling of having just as much pain, anger and disgust for the same person you can't even begin to explain how much love you have for?

I narrowed my eyes as another memory threatened to take over me and I shook it away just as soon as it came to me. What was the point? Yes, they were happy memories, insanely happy, but memories of moments that had been full of lying and deceiving.

Moments that shouldn't have happened at all.

Realizing that I had told... _him_ to stop by later, I changed my mind, standing up. "Hey Alice! Wait up!" She turned around, smiling almost knowingly.

It was either this -which didn't seem as a bad idea at all- or go home with red eyes and try to explain Mom why I was that way without letting her put two and two together.

I slid into the back seat with Alice and she turned to me, "Bella, this is my mom Ellen that _won't_ ask _any_ kind of questions" She gave her a pointed look before turning to me briefly with an innocent smile. "And Mom, this is Bella."

"We already knew each other," She was friend of Charlie. I smiled back, politely. "But is nice to know you are friends with Alice." The rest of the ride Alice and Ellen kept talking about different shades of purple and white -how many shades of _white_ can there be?- for her room that was, her words not mine, so last decade. Of course I didn't expect it to actually be _so last decade_. I actually giggled when I saw the Barbie pink walls and butterflies painted all  
around the room with a princess bed that looked more like a crib.

"What? I moved out when I was six." She defended herself, as she took a sit in the middle of her bed while I sat on the only teenager-looking part of the room, the desk.

"Why did you move out anyway?" I knew Ellen had a daughter but I have never actually seen her, since we spent summers and most holidays out of town.

"Well, my dad got a job in the DC." She shrugged. I was hoping for more than that. I needed the distraction.

"And why didn't your mom moved with you?"

"Mom never liked big city life so when my dad got the job they decided he'd come during the weekends but then it got so busy he couldn't keep up with it. The thing is that I was really close to my dad and well, I was little and I started doing badly in school and _blah, blah, blah_... So I moved. My brother on the other hand-"

"Your brother?" I didn't know Ellen had a boy.

"Yes," She smiled widely, "He's in college." My eyes widened. "Anyway, he was older and he had his friends and school and Mom didn't want him having to change his... environment?" She shrugged, "Riley is two years older than us! But he's _so_ cool! But his girlfriend? _Ugh_." She shuddered causing me to laugh. She clearly loved her brother. "You'd absolutely _adore_ him." I smiled at her.

I had always wanted a sibling. That was a bond that could not be broken by anything. Not even by backstabbing blond bitches.

_Oh, look! BBB. Tanya is a BBB. _I cringed at my thoughts and shook my head willing them away.

"He's coming this weekend! You _have_ to meet him! I'm _so sure_ you guys will get along just great." _This weekend_. I sighed inwardly. "Sunday?"

"Yay!" And her room suddenly matched her attitude.

* * *

I shook my head again, trying to regain concentration. The sound stopped and I sighed in relief going back to the book in front of me.

"Um," Alice started, eyeing my phone warily. "Is it him?" I nodded. _Damn personalized ringtone with our damned song_. It started ringing again.

_Damn cell phones_.

"How serious was it?"

"Two years is pretty serious, Alice." I sighed. "I love him." I shut my eyes tightly. "_Loved_. _Loved _him." I surely didn't love him after what he's done. _Surely_. It beeped once. I cursed myself for reaching out to it.

**_Baby, I need to talk to you. –E_**

**_Busy. –B_**

**_Just a minute? –E_**

**_Really busy. –B_**

**_Where are you? I called to your house. –E_**

**_I'm turning off my phone now. –B_**

I took the battery off and placed them both separately in different pockets of my bag. I looked up when I felt Alice staring me down.

"Are you going to break up with him?" I looked down to my lap.

I was sitting on the floor doing homework or at least attempting to. Throughout the afternoon I have thought about it and it felt as if I would not only be breaking up with him, but with myself as well.

During most of my life he had been there even if only as the son of my parents' friends but he _had_ been there, and if I was being honest I had always thought of him as a constant in my life and whenever I thought of _myself_ and what life would entail for me in the next years I hadn't had even a slight doubt that he would make it into my future.

It felt as if I was dumping myself.

That didn't change the answer to Alice's question though. "_Yes_."

* * *

"Hey Dad." I leaned over to kiss his cheek.

"Hey Bells." He reached over to turn on the heater of his car noticing I was wet because of the run from Alice's front door to the car. It had started raining right after we got to Alice's and it hadn't stopped.

As soon as I stepped into the house, Mom literally danced towards us. She kissed Dad's cheek and he wrapped an arm around her, kissing the top of her head and smiling that smile I have only seen directed towards her.

Now, _that's_ love.

I had thought he did love me. I had though the little sparkle in his eyes whenever he saw me meant he did.

I had thought I was not the only one feeling it.

My eyes stung and I reprimanded myself for it when I realized Mom and Dad were looking at me worriedly.

"Bella? Did you hear what I just said?" Mom asked with a little crease between her eyebrows.

"No Mom. Sorry. What was it?"

"Edward has been calling for hours, asking for you." I nodded.

"Actually, the last call was just ten minutes ago he said he was sorry that he couldn't come over but that he'd explain tomorrow." I nodded again.

"What's for dinner?" I said, not so subtly changing the subject. Not that it mattered since pretty much all I did was move the food around my plate so it'd look as if I had eaten something, which I hadn't.

The phone started ringing from the kitchen and Mom pointed her fork at me. "I bet that's for you. Go." I nodded and walked into the kitchen.

"Hello?" I already knew it was him, or at least someone of the Cullen household.

"Bella?" _Him_. I sighed. "Babe," He sounded almost relieved. "I'm sorry I couldn't-"

"It's okay. I'm not feeling well anyway." _See_? I wasn't lying. I didn't need to lie to get out of something. How hard could it have been? _Bella, I don't love you. I'm into the BBB. Luck in life_. It was not hard to do.

"What's wrong Sweetheart?" Last night the concern in his voice would have fooled me. Not anymore though.

"I'm having dinner. I can't talk."

"Call me later?"

"We'll talk tomorrow."

"Um, okay. Bye Bella. Lo-" I hung up. If he was going to say what I thought he was going to say I certainly didn't want to hear it.

_Not anymore._

_

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_

**Okay guys, I'm really sorry about not actually giving anything away regarding Edward but next chapter it is. I promise. I really wanted to post soon though, since last chapter was short and this one, too. But I still don't have my laptop back :(**

**There's some Alice, too. _Yay? _Were even one of you expecting her at all?**

**The little flashbacks? Bella thinks they are fake and all but, just so you know, I imagined those being from times Edward actually liked (?) her. Also, that _darkest hole _Bella talked about? Is nothing major... Well it_ is_ but not major for the plotline of the story per se. It will explain why Edward being a bad boy and everything became so important to Bella and maybe even why Charlie dislikes him, not exactly but a_ part_ of why he dislikes him. **

**I actually have one chapter in Charlie's POV that treated_ lots_ of things (even Carlisle's relationship with Edward) but it was in the laptop so if I can't get it back I'll probably kill myself. Yes, it was _that_ great. I spent an entire night writing it. **

**Oh, oh, oh! For those who asked, Bella and Edward will end up together. Promise. Yes, she's going to dump him but, _come on_, they belong together. **

**Um... What else? Oh yes... I love you guys. Really. **

**I bet you're probably wondering why I'm rambling? Since, you know, I already said I hated it. Well, I have a homework I really don't feel like doing so... Yeah, I guess I'm stalling. Maybe you should all thank my Psych teacher? You know, since thanks to her homework you got this chapter today. **

**Last thing. I bet you're already bored with me but this is important.**

**Please tell me I didn't dissapoint you with the chapter. I'm extremely unsure about this but I really hope it reaches all of your expectations and if it doesn't sent me a PM or review telling me what you want? We still have one chapter in which I can add or change things before she faces Edward so.. yeah. ****Really guys, Thanks for reading.**

**Lots of love,**

**Ghs**


	13. Chapter 13

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

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**Oh, I thought the world of you.****  
I thought nothing could go wrong,  
But I was wrong, I was wrong.  
If you, if you could get by, trying not to lie,  
Things wouldn't be so confused and I wouldn't feel so used,**

**Linger- Cranberries**

**EPOV**

Fucking Forks.

Fucking rain.

_Fucking Forks._

I would have gotten home completely dry but no, of course it had to start raining just as I was entering this goddamned town. Of course it had to be the second day in the year I take my bike out. _Of course_.

Needless to say, by the time I got home I was _drenched_ and sneezing like crazy. Originally I had just stopped home to change clothes and call Bella before going to her house. In my fucking car. No more bike in a while for me. _Sorry Ducati_. I called her few times at her cell phone before getting worried and calling her house. I almost lose it when Renee told me she thought she was with me. Something telling me there was something wrong.

_Real wrong._

I started calling her nonstop, alternating between her house and her cell. It actually upset me Renee nonchalance, she only told me to calm down that she must be with a friend. And okay, it ended up being truth but I just couldn't stop feeling as if something was wrong. Theory that was proved when I texted her and she turned off her phone. Turned off her phone. I didn't even know how to feel when I read that. There _was _something wrong. Again, the validity of this theory was reinforced when she hung up on me. I didn't even try calling her again.

But I was still worried so I tried once more before I'd just give it up and thankfully she was the one to pick up. Well, thankfully for about five seconds before I heard her voice, like, _really _heard her voice. It was full of disdain and hatred and again, I didn't know what I had done. I hadn't even been around all day but lately she didn't even need to _see_ me to get mad at me.

It is as if she knows there's something going on, and she does. I mean, she _does_ know there's _something,_ she doesn't know _what _though. And that's what I think it's really upsetting her. When Mom saw me with the intentions of getting into the pool she just gave me that look that told me not to even think about it. I still needed something to relieve my stress so I went to the front porch and starting throwing around a basketball. It had stopped raining but the floor was still wet and I slipped a few times.

When Dad got home he looked at me strangely while walking slowly up the steps to the front door. Not even when I was a kid and he had just installed the hoop I had liked basketball. Back then I was too short and then I just resented the game. But I didn't have anything else to do. It didn't need much concentration though, so I was able to _think_ while playing.

After my Grandpa had left me alone in the kitchen I couldn't shrug off the guilt. I wanted to tell her, is not like I was planning on not telling her at all. I wanted to come clean, that had to say something, right? I sure as hell hoped so and I needed to hold onto that possibility because otherwise I would go for not telling her at all.

"Are you okay, Son?" I briefly turned my head to where the voice came from before turning back and throwing the ball. He was sitting on the first step with his elbows over his knees and his hands clasped together in front of him.

_Do you care?_ "Yes."

Another few 'whoosh's of the ball as it went into the hoop before he stood up. I thought he was going to leave; instead he came to stand beside me and reached for the ball as it bounced its way back to me. He took some steps backwards, lifted the ball over his face and with a look of utter concentration, threw it up in the air, leaving his arms hanging in the air until I heard another whoosh. He smiled and nodded to the ball that was bouncing behind me.

"I used to be good, you know?" I shook my head. "Yes, it's what got me into college, actually." I nodded. I didn't know where he was getting to with this. "When I got this," He nodded towards the hoop. "I did it thinking that it could be our thing. You know, something to bond over." He sighed. "You never really liked it though."

"I was too short." I tried to defend myself lamely.

"Listen Edward, I know you don't like me," and the guilt increase tenfold because I couldn't completely contradict him. "But I'm your father and I worry about you. So if I get home and find you doing something you hate, I know there's something wrong. So let's try again,_ what's wrong_ Edward?"

I turned so my back was to him and threw the ball. "It's Bella." I knew this was a subject I shouldn't talk about with him. Especially not him.

"What did you do?" I threw the ball more forcefully this time causing it to bounce to the side.

"Why do you assume _I_ did something?"

"Because you look guilty." I shook my head, getting angrier by the second. I kicked the ball to the garage door and started my way into the house.

"I can't talk to you about this."

As if that wasn't enough, Mom decided she wanted to talk to me as well.

I was standing in front of my stereo, rearranging my CDs. It was late but I couldn't sleep, that feeling in the pit of my stomach wouldn't let me stay still for more than few minutes. When I heard the knock on my door I didn't move, if it was my dad he would leave and if it was Mom she would just come in. Which she did.

"I was sure I heard you." I heard her sit on my bed as I looked around for D's. "Edward?" I hummed in response. "What's wrong?" Unlike Dad, Mom didn't have to ask if something was wrong, she _knew_.

I shrugged, "I don't know." It wasn't a lie per se, and I was going to leave it like that but I needed someone to talk to. It felt as if every single lie I've ever told were causing a pressure in my chest that, as clichéd as it sound, was making breathing hard. "Bella is mad at me."

"Okay," She said, urging me on. I still hadn't moved but I heard her shift on the bed. "What happened?" She asked when I didn't say anything. _See?_ She asked what happened not what I have done.

"I don't really know. She's been like this all week." I realized I had stopped moving m CDs around so I went to the desk and sat on it, in front of her. "She's going to break up with me, Mom." And I couldn't help the few tears that threatened to come out. I wasn't talking about her attitude right now but when I had to tell her about Tanya. I brought my feet to my chest and wrapped my arms around me, feeling impossibly vulnerable. I had never had this kind of talk with no one beside Bella, and that had been just once. She was the only one beside myself that knew how I felt about my father.

"What?" She laughed and I hid my face between my knees. "Why would you say that, Edward?" I didn't add anything, just shrugged. "Edward, are you serious?" I nodded, she sighed. "She won't, you've been together for far too long to split over one fight."

"She will." The reality of my words took me by surprise even if I had known it would happen for a long while. "Actually, she already did."

"What?" She was really surprised._ Yeah, who would expect the perfect  
couple to split?_

"Yeah... We just got back together last weekend."

"What? Why?"

"We were like, I dunno, fighting and she just told me she needed some time or whatever." I shrugged, still not looking up. I wondered how she even understood what I was saying.

"But why are you so sure she will do that?" I hesitated and she sighed, "Your father asked me to talk to you, but if you don't want me to, I won't tell him whatever you tell me."

"I don't want you to tell him but I still can't tell you." And then as if a switch was turned, the moment was gone. I unfold my legs, stood up and kissed my mom's head. "I have to sleep, Mom." She nodded and stood up. She stopped by the doorway, and looked at me once.

"Sleep well, Honey."

I didn't sleep.

* * *

**BPOV**

I tilted my head to the side, my eyes narrowed, scowling at my reflection. There was no way I could put on my contacts today, my eyes were way too irritated. I shook my head at myself and just slid my glasses over my nose.

I tried, I _really_ tried, not to cry last night but it was proven impossible. After dinner Mom came to my room to have a '_girl talk_', meaning she wanted to know what the hell was wrong with me and throughout the entire hour she was prodding for information I was able to remain tearless, _strong_, not that I had actually told her what was going on but still it didn't mean she wasn't causing me to _think_ about it. However, when I had turned off the lights and was already under the covers I couldn't help it. It was as if I had pressed on a lever or something, as soon as my head hit the pillow, tears started coming out of my eyes. Just like that.

The worst part though, was that I couldn't stop. At some point during the night I had to pretend to be asleep because, despite I was eighteen, Dad still felt as if he needed to check if was alright in the middle of the night. Thankfully, he just poked his head into the room and yawned before going back to his room. Not that I blamed him, I had giving him enough reasons for him to be worried to last him a lifetime. I just hadn't thought about locking my door.

Around five, I think, my brain gave into the exhaustion and let me sleep for few hours even if it still felt as if I hadn't slept at all.

Of course it meant I looked like a zombie in the morning. I had green bags under my eyes, my nose was red and puffy, and my eyes were bloodshot. There was something else in my eyes, too, they looked… _lifeless_. I shook my head, looked to the floor once before looking back into my reflection.

_And the Oscar goes to…_

There was a smile plastered on my face that I knew for sure no one would notice was fake, my eyes looked less dead, and despite I couldn't completely get rid of the bags under my eyes and the redness in them I didn't look _that _bad –not as bad as I felt– if anything I had pull an all-nighter studying something.

I took one last glance at myself and idly wondered if maybe it'd make me feel better if I dressed up nicely. Nah. I shook my head and decided that the sweater, jeans and flats I was wearing were more than enough. It at least meant that I had come out of bed. I was ready to go even before Mom had drank her coffee and _that _was saying a lot. There had been only a handful of times I had seen her sleepy and it was better like that, alongside sleepy she was grumpy. She didn't even question me when I walked out the door at least half an hour earlier than usual. I didn't want to have to see _him_ until I necessarily _had_ to. I knew that it'd probably happen at school but it still didn't hurt the time alone to get control over my thoughts and well, _everything_.

I drove even slower than I usually did, trying to burn time, but I still was ridiculously early. I sighed and turned off the ignition, kicking the door closed as I made my way to the table I usually sat at. I started toying around with my phone trying not to think but, again, it was being proven nearly impossible thanks to the picture I had as the screensaver. I hadn't even finished changing it when the sound of an engine made me look up. I smiled, it was an unconscious reaction, as the little black haired girl waved goodbye at her mother. She rolled her eyes, straightened her blouse and smiled when she looked up, meeting my gaze. I waved for her to join me and she… was she bouncing? Whatever it was she was doing, she made her way to the table and sat across me.

"What are you doing here so early?" I shrugged, not wanting to reveal the real reason.

"What are _you_ doing here so early?"

"I'm already the new girl, I don't need to be mocked at because my mom drives me to school." She pouted. "I miss my car." I chuckled.

"And where's your car?"

"At my dad's."

"Why it's-"

"The move was kinda… rushed, but my dad promised he'd bring it one of these weekends." She shrugged.

"You can ride with me." I offered and her eyes widened with excitement.

"Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Really, really?"

I chuckled. "Yes. That way you don't have to ride with your mom so early."

"Yay!" I rolled my eyes and probably jumped a feet up from the bench when she gasped. "Tell you what, when my dad brings my car we'll drive my car, like, _really_ drive my car. Really, really."

"Do you have a problem with the world 'really', or what?" She rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Bella! I have a Porsche Turbo 911, you have to ride in one before you die."

"Um, Okay?" With luck I knew my car was a Phantom Coupe. She rolled her eyes again and reached over for my phone and thrusting it back into my hands couple minutes after.

"You can't really be that ignorant Bella." There was a picture of the car I assume was hers and nodded.

"Nice car." She scoffed and I chuckled, pocketing my phone.

"You'd get along with Rosalie just fine."

"One of your friends?"

"Well, yeah."

"_No thanks_." She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head.

"_Okay_. I was just saying." I held my hands up in a peace-offering gesture and smiled.

* * *

Half of the day had gone by and I couldn't help to feel accomplished that I still hadn't had to see _him_. It didn't mean it had been an easy task though, on the contrary, it had been real hard. Especially when it seemed as if he was looking for me. My phone had buzzed couple times and I was even prouder to say I hadn't read them, just deleting the messages instead.

I was standing in from of my locker, picking up my homework of the next period when I felt a hand on the right side of my waist. I knew the touch and with a scowl I tried to move to the left but at the same time I tried to move away his lips were on my left cheek. I couldn't move and goose bumps ran all over my body. I really needed him to take a step back.

"Hello, Edward." I knew he wouldn't so I took a step forward, somewhat away from him.

"Hey, Baby, what's wrong?" My teeth clenched and my left eye twitched at the same time he leaned on the locker next to mine. "I haven't seen you all day." I shrugged. How was I supposed to break up with him? Because, I was here about to throw up and I had no idea how to do it. "Hey, I was thinking of something and, well, what do you want to do on Sunday?" I swallowed, willing the pain in my chest to disappear.

"What's on Sunday?" He laughed.

"What do you mean what's on Sunday?" I looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"I meant, what's on Sunday and why would I want to do something then?"

"Baby, it's our-" I shook my head.

"Anyway, I have plans on Sunday."

"What?"

"I have plans on Sunday." I enunciated each word slowly.

"What? With whom?"

"Plans, Edward, _plans_. With Riley." Okay, it wasn't entirely true seeing that I didn't even know Alice's brother but, that was the plan right? Meeting him?

He swallowed audibly and his narrowed eyes fixed on me. "So you're telling me you have _plans_ with a Riley _guy _the day of our two-years _anniversary_?"

"If that's what's on Sunday, then yes Edward, I'm telling you just that."

"Okay, and why the fuck you're going out with some other guy?" If I hadn't been so upset I would have probably laughed. He looked as if a vein in his neck would snap.

I smiled sardonically, "I don't know Edward, I just figured that's the kind of relationship we have." I rolled my eyes.

"What are you even talking about, Bella?"

I stopped smiling and raised an eyebrow again, "You know, you fuck Tanya. I go out with some other guy. No biggie, right?" His eyes widened and I nodded._ Yes, Edward. I know_. I closed my locker and took few steps down the hallway before frowning and turning around. He was still standing there his eyes wide in… panic?

* * *

**EPOV**

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck_

"Just in case it wasn't obvious, _we're over_." That brought me out of my… shock, for lack of a better term, and I shook my head and started sprinting after her –she walks _fast_ when she's upset– but then I stopped myself, what was I even supposed to say? I rubbed my hands across my face, turning around in a circle before gripping my hair in one hand and deciding on going after her. I went down the hall way she had walked into but stopped again when I saw her leaning against a wall, breathing deeply, eyes closed, and arms around herself.

I swallowed down the lump that had found its way into my throat and took a tentative step closer, when she didn't moved I walked until I was right beside her. She opened her eyes and stared right across her, into a blue poster promoting the Homecoming Dance. She narrowed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Whatever it is you're going to say, Edward. _Save it_."

"Baby, I-"

"The moment I told you-" She swallowed and closed her eyes briefly. "The moment I told you we were over you lost your right to call me by anything other than my name. So please don't call me _'Baby'_. Or anything like that, _anymore_."

"Bella, I…"

"I don't want to hear it. _Leave me alone_."

"Bella, please hear me out." I had no idea what I was going to say because really, what could I say?

"NO! Edward, leave me alone!" She pushed herself away from the wall and fisted her hand. I almost expected her to hit me but she didn't. It would have been better if she had done it. It would have made me feel better with myself. "What part of '_over_' you don't understand? _Huh_? Edward, you fucked up! You fucked it _all_ up. So leave me the fuck alone, okay?"

"Bella, _please_…"

_"It's over. __È finite. __Se acabó.__ C'est __fini."_

_

* * *

_

**So, how was it? **

**Guys, I don't usually do this but... Go read Mens Rea: A Guilt Mind by forbidden-fruit81. It really is _amazing_. **

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs**


	14. Chapter 14

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

* * *

**You and I walk a fragile line****  
I have known it all this time  
But I never thought I'd live to see it break**

**_It's getting dark__  
And it's all too quiet  
And I can't trust anything now  
And it's coming over you  
Like it's all a big mistake  
_  
Oh holding my breath  
Won't lose you again  
Something's made your  
Eyes go cold**

**_Come on, come on__  
Don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Something's gone terribly wrong  
You're all I wanted_**

**Come on, come on  
Don't leave me like this  
I thought I had you figured out  
Can't breathe whenever you're gone  
Can't turn back  
Now I'm haunted**

**Stood there and watched you walk away  
From everything we had  
But I still mean every word I said  
To you**

**_He will try to take away my pain__  
And he just might make me smile  
But the whole time I'm wishing he was you  
Instead_**

**Taylor Swift - Haunted**

**EPOV**

_ "Hello, Renée, is Bella there?" _Please say yes. Please say yes_._

_"Um, no. She left couple hours ago." _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck_._

_"I… um… do you know where she is?" She hesitated for a moment –enough time for a panic attack to start in my body– before sighing._

_"I don't think I should tell you this, but she is with Alice. Do you know her?" _

No_. "Yeah," Whatever. At this point I only care about the fact she's with Alice. Alice. A girl. Not Riley –whomever the fuck he was._

_"Okay, um, is that all?"_

_"Yes, thanks. Bye." She hung up and I pumped my fist in the air. As long as she didn't move on I still had a chance. _

_Okay, I do realize I'm being an ass for being happy she's not actually moving on but, _hey_, it's been less than a week. Even if it felt like a fucking year with all the ignoring she was doing. I had tried non-stop to talk to her but she would just walk past me as if I was some sort of ghost or something. And I had really thought she had told her dad or at least he would have noticed something and I really liked being alive and in one piece so I tried to stay away from her house. However, after talking to her mom I didn't think they even knew. I'm sure that even the ever-calm Renée Swan would try to at least kick me once. _

_Not that I didn't deserve it, though._

"No." I said finally. "You're lying."

"I'm not!" Emmett raised his hands defensively and I raised my eyebrow at him, daring him to _keep_ lying. "Listen, whether it's true or not I can't tell you for sure but what I can tell you is that she asked if it was okay she invited someone." He shrugged.

"_No_."

"Everyone's saying that same shit, too. How can you be so sure it is not true?" Because it's been barely a month and because she loves me –at least I hope she still does– and just because it _couldn't_ be.

"Why are you so sure it _is_?" I spat and he shrugged again, looking down to his phone.

"Well, Edward. You _cheated_ on her. With one of her _friends._" He said slowly, as I glared at the top of his head while he bent his head to type down on his phone.

"And?"

"And? You don't really expect her to be still crying over you, do you? I mean, it would have been pretty obvious to me when she cut her hair." I sighed internally, she had gotten bangs and was wearing her hair kind of curly. And I fucking loved it.

I narrowed my eyes "What? What does it have to do with anything."

"She got sick of seeing her face. You know, the same face you _lied_ to?"

"_What?_"

"My mom would cut her hair every time one of the assholes she was dating dumped her."

"That's your mom, Emmett. Not my girl."

"She's not _your_ girl anymore, Cullen." I glared at him again but he didn't see it.

"Whatever," I grunted and stood up, turning the chair and leaving it in its place. "It is _not_ true."

"I asked Rosie if it was, but Bella is still not talking to her." And Felix either. _Take that. You were so sure it would work for you, huh?_ Yeah, well, _not_. He looked up from his phone, "You _are_ going right?" I ran a hand through my hair.

"Yeah, I'm going." Emmett's stepfather was opening a club this weekend for Halloween and he invited us but I hadn't been so sure about going or not because it'd mean dressing up as something and I was kinda old for that shit. However, if it was true and Bella _was_ seeing someone else I needed to know. Even if I had been arguing all day that she wasn't. "I better get going, Em. See you tomorrow." He nodded, focused again on his phone and I shrugged on my jacket before walking out. Once in the car I couldn't help but think what if it was actually true and Bella was with someone else. I rubbed my hand against my chest. I had always thought that shit about being hard to breathe and all that to be just bullshit but it was actually what I was feeling. It was as if my ribcage had reduced its size.

The first week or so after she broke up with me I was pretty much glued to her shadow but after way-too-many-doors had made contact with my nose I thought it'd be better to give her some time to cool off, besides, my ego could use a rest from so much rejection. And I actually managed to go through it but that was when I noticed that she didn't look hurt at all. Not that I _wanted_ her to be, but still… I mean, I was hurt that she wouldn't talk to me or just listen but she was _fine_. Especially after the damn haircut, it was as if… I don't know. She was just… _fine_. Like, smiling and doing everything like always. However, if I even walked behind her at the Cafeteria or in the class we had together she would flinch away and scowl.

Oh, that class. I wouldn't be able to tell you what we've been studying. I had no idea because I would, without missing a day, try to talk to her and I actually think that was the reason everyone refused to switch places with her. They enjoyed the show too much. I know for a fact she even tried to switch the class but she was told that she must have requested that the first week of classes. I know because I was in the office while she asked, she didn't know I was. One of my teachers had asked me to drop something there and when I entered the office she was there pretty much begging, that was until she realized I was there, then she just stormed off.

I lifted my hand over to the cord hanging from my neck. It was stupid to have them there but… I don't know why I kept them there. I just did. In one of the many times I tried to approach her she brought her hand to her forehead, annoyed, only to realize she was wearing the bracelet. Before I even realized she was taking it off, she had already thrown it at me, told me to leave her alone and stormed off. After that I actually gave up. Every morning for almost a week I would see the bruises from where the bracelet had hit me because she had actually thrown it real hard.

However it only stopped me from approaching her in school. I would call her cell phone almost religiously, e-mail her, text her, every-_fucking-_thing there was to do, I did it. I sent chocolates and letters and flowers and anything I could come up with just to get her to talk to me. But she didn't. I had gone to her house at night and thrown pebbles but she just rolled her eyes when she saw me, went back into her room and came back with the box of chocolates I had sent that day. I still have a bump in my head because of that. After that, everything I sent was left in my locker the following day.

I mean, really. I was trying. I knew my chances were almost non-existent but I at least had to get her to hear me out. To know it was me, _not_ _her_. That I was the fucked up one and that she was pretty damn close to perfection and that I just fucking _loved_ her. Of course that was proven nearly impossible. Because of _her_.

_Alice Brandon._

God, I just wanted to stomp her. _Repeatedly_. _My_ Bella wasn't like the Bella I got to see from afar every day now, _even_ with the circumstances. I knew it was _her_ that was getting into her mind.

But going back to the main point, who the hell could be the son of a bitch that may or may not be with my girl? I mean, these people trusted way too much on Facebook and since Bella never, _ever_, used it her profile still said she was with me and her profile picture was still one of us kissing. So it really made no sense. Because other than the bracelet incident, which had been _after_ school, there hadn't been anything that would hint them that we had split rather than just… I dunno, she was mad at me. Which she was.

_Oh, who am I kidding? She fucking hates me._

With a sigh, I turned off the ignition once I had arrived home and went in through the kitchen door, figuring Mom would be in the living room. Of course I was wrong. She was sitting on a stool in front of the counter, reading a magazine.

"Mom," I said from behind not stopping my way out of the room.

"Hey, Edward?" I was _just_ going through the door.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?" She turned around still on the stool and narrowed her eyes, her head tilting slightly to the side.

"Yeah." I said as confidently as I could. But the thing was, she was my mother. She fucking _knew_ me.

"You sure? You look like you could use some rest." I knew it was her last night. I sighed.

"Listen, last night I just couldn't sleep. I drank a bottle of Coke. It's _not_ a big deal, Mom." Last night I hadn't felt like sleeping, as usual, but then I just couldn't stay locked in my room, so I went into the living room to watch some TV. I knew I had heard something.

It was actually funny how I always mocked those guys Bella read so much about. Not sleeping, eating, and basically not living because they were pining after a girl. I always thought it was impossible to actually _feel_ like that. But that was exactly how I had been feeling lately. If I ate, it just tasted awfully and I would feel nauseous. If I tried to sleep, it would be restless and I would wake up thousands of time throughout the night.

It was also funny how I didn't really have anything beside Bella. I mean, I could go back to the team and that would be a way to keep me busy but I really couldn't find it in myself to go back to the Edward Cullen I had been last year, and all those years before. It just wasn't me anymore. Yes, I enjoyed playing football, but I had been doing it for all the wrong reasons. And if I came back it would, _I _would, just go back to that and, in all honesty, just the idea made me sick. I hadn't noticed it then but now I could really see how a huge part of my life Bella was. And it only made me feel worse because I had thrown it all away and, for what? For absolutely nothing at all. Because Tanya meant just that to me. _Nothing_.

_Tanya_.

If Alice Brandon had become some kind of nemesis to me Tanya had become like a lost puppy. Really, it was getting _beyond_ annoying. I didn't want to be with her, even if Bella never forgave me it just wasn't going to happen. _Not_ _again_. I know I'm stupid but a mistake like that is the kind you can only afford once in a lifetime. And once was already _more_ than enough. I don't even know where she had gotten the idea that because Bella and I weren't together anymore that'd mean we would be together. I knew it had been her that told Bella and even if I wanted to strangle her because of that, I couldn't really do a thing. Other than ignore her, that is.

Mom kept staring at me for few minutes, making me grow extremely anxious as I switched my weight from feet to feet. "I'll go see if I can take a nap or something, okay?" She nodded, still looking at me. I nodded, too, before pretty much running up the stairs. I really needed to sleep, though, I hadn't slept in about two days and a half and it was starting to affect me. As I went to my room and saw my bed, it looked so damn comfortable and I knew Mom had made it just so I would feel drawn to it. Again, she fucking _knew_ me. I took off my shirt and kicked my shoes off before plopping down onto the mattress and actually falling asleep.

But, as I had said before, it was restless and, not even an hour after I woke up feeling completely disoriented and only after few minutes of looking around my room I realized where I was and remembered what I had been dreaming about.

_Bella, smiling, in the arms of someone else._

* * *

**BPOV**

_I looked once more at the person staring back at me, realizing it was not how she usually looked like. I tilted my head, inspecting myself in the mirror. I tried smiling, still it didn't work. I splashed some water on my face, still, not the same. I idly wondered if there was even a way I would feel like myself again. I hated that he had so much power over me, even unconsciously. I hated that because he hadn't been able to keep it in his pants I was the one crying my eyes out every night and, as if that wasn't unfair enough, he thinks he has any right to try and explain. Whatever he wanted to explain didn't matter anymore. Besides, what was he going to explain? I had already heard the talk of the flower and bees, I knew how he did it. The reason why, it didn't matter because it had been tons of times. _

_I mean, I don't really know, but I think that if it had been a one-time-thing-just-because-I'm-drunk I would have been able to forgive him. But it wasn't like that, it was a I'm-fucking-my-girlfriend's-friend-before-I-go-and-see-her, there was really no way I could see past it. I couldn't help but think that I had invested two years –two years exactly _today_– in someone that was never really worth it. I had thought I would be able to change him but at the end it didn't work like that. People don't change. It wasn't so much about the time together and that in the end it just… ended. It was more about how many times I had wondered why he was so cold with me sometimes and how I had put every little aspect of myself to evaluate. To try and change what I thought could be wrong. _

_I had tried to change him but I had ended up changing myself. _

_I sighed, shook my head and walked out of the bathroom only to notice that a tall, lean guy had joined Alice and Ellen in the living room. I smiled, recognizing him from a couple years ago. He turned towards me, tilted his head and smiled._

_"Hey! You're Cullen's girl." My smiled turned into a frown and Alice's eyes widened. _

_I only shook my head. I had to get use to this after all. "_No_, not anymore." _

_Riley Biers was, for lack of a better explanation, the Edward Cullen of Forks High couple years ago. I swear Edward had some sort of man crush on him. For a while, he even started to style his hair as Riley did, taking advance of the fact that their hair color only varied a shade or two. Riley was a little darker. _

_"Geez, sorry. I didn't know." He lifted his right hand to rub his left bicep. _

_I shrugged. "It's okay. But hey, you're Biers right?" He rolled his eyes and nodded._

_"Go on, Ali. Explain."_

_She huffed and rolled her eyes, too, Ellen completely amused by the exchange between siblings. "Alice and Biers just don't match. So I use Mom's last name." She shrugged "Alice Biers." She scowled. "Alice Brandon." She smiled, nodding to herself before turning to glare at her brother._

_"Come here, Freak." Riley tugged on Alice's elbow until she was by his side and he put an arm around her shoulders. Ellen then told us to go to the dining room and I had, surprisingly enough, a good time. I didn't really have to fake a smile throughout the night. What did worry me though, was the mischievous glint in Alice's eye. I hadn't known her for long but I knew enough to know that the little glint meant everything but something good._

"I don't really think this is a good idea, Alice." I reasoned and she pouted.

"Why not?"

"Because you brother have a girlfriend. Besides, what would he do there? I'm sure he goes to another kind of parties."

"A club is a club, _Isabella_. It doesn't matter in what part of the world it is."

"Whatever, but really, Alice, this means nothing so get rid of _those_ ideas. I don't like your brother."

"That's okay, who talked about liking my brother? We have a plan, don't we?"

"No. _You_ and _Riley_ have a plan, and you got me involved, this is all your doing."

"Yeah, formalities, he's going to be _so_ freaking jealous." I slid down a little in the chair I was sitting in. We were in Alice's new _purple_ room; I had been lured here by the offer of looking at costumes not to talk about any kind of plans. I was sitting on the chair in front of her desk while she was laying on her bed with her ankles crossed up together in the air.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't understand why you are trying to make him jealous. Is not like I want him to notice me, if something I want him to forget about _everything_."

_I want to forget, too._

"_Duh_, so he can know what he's lost." I rolled my eyes. "Oh, look! He's online." I looked up as she greeted her brother. She turned her laptop so the webcam was pointing at me. I raised my hand, not uncrossing my arms, he laughed and I slid further down. This was about to get really embarrassing. "So, Riley," Alice started, turning back around the laptop. "Wait! What did Emmett said, Bella?"

"He said yes." I muttered and she nodded.

"So, what are you gonna do on Halloween?"

"Well, I was tak-"

"No, _silly_. You're coming Forks to a party with us."

"_Alice_."

"You said you'd help!"

"Yes but-" And her lip started quivering. "_Oh,_ _God_! Okay, I'll be there."

"Thanks."

"Yeah, whatever. Give the computer to Bella." Alice handed it over and I could see Riley was typing something so I waited.

**_ says: You sure about this?_**

**_IMS says: Not really. _**

**_ says: Then why are we doing this? I mean, I want to punch him because of what he did to you but still, if you don't want to do this I'll just tell Alice I won't go._**

**_IMS says: No, that's okay. I mean, it's okay as long as we don't do couple-ish things._**

**_ says: Don't worry Bella, the most we'll do is hold hands, okay?_**

**_IMS says: Yeah, okay. But I still don't know why we are doing this._**

**_ says: Are you planning on taking him back?_**

**_IMS says: NO!_**

**_ says: So he wraps his head around the fact it's over, you've moved on and he can leave you alone. _**

**_IMS says: Yeah, I guess. _**

**_ says: Tell you what, I'll make sure you have a good time, okay? I don't really like seeing you like this._**

**_IMS says: Thanks Riley. _**

**_ says: Don't even mention it. I'm just a call away, remember that. I have to leave but we'll talk later, okay? _**

I nodded and wiggled my fingers, he winked and logged off. I closed the laptop and placed it behind me on the desk. "This is stupid. Really stupid."

"No it's not. And give me the computer. We have costumes to look for." I rolled my eyes and gave it back. After a few minutes she smiled, like a freak, and turned the computer over. "What do you think?" It was a Minnie Mouse costume, a red dress with white dots all over and a black strap right below the breasts and obviously the ears and the bow in the head. It looked nice and was not slutty, as I pictured it would be considering Alice's scheming and all.

"It's cool." I shrugged, I wasn't really interested in all this, if it were for me I'd put something black and say I'm an emo.

"Okay, great. Now let me look for a Mickey one."

"_What?_"

"Yeah, duh, so you and Riley match."

"Come on, Alice! He'll look ridiculous. Besides, I refuse to pretend to go out with someone that dresses as Mickey Mouse."

"Okay, you're right. I'll look something else. Besides, it's kinda soon to do that, right? I mean you've been dating for less than a month."

"Yes, it's soon alright seeing we're not dating _at all_."

"_Yeah, yeah, yeah_."

* * *

"The things I do for you, Isabella Swan." I kept laughing as I saw him pulling on his jacket.

"For your sister not me!"

"God! How people could _ever_ wear this?" He moved his hips, and scowled when it didn't do anything to ease his discomfort.

"The same reason people wear tight pants?"

"I don't!"

"So, what do you think, Bella?" Alice said, reappearing from the bathroom, wearing a referee costume. I laughed at Riley's reaction, his jaw tensed and his eyes looked as if they would pop out of his head at any moment.

"What. The. Fuck. You. _Think_. You're. Wearing?"

"Whatever. So, _Bella_?"

"Oh, no. No. No. _No!_"

"What?"

"_What?_ You're not going out with that, Alice!" Okay, maybe I should add that the costume's skirt was really little, and that the cleavage was really big, and that she was wearing high, high, _high_ heeled boots that reached just below her knees. She looked great but I could understand Riley's reaction, it was his little sister after all.

"You're not my dad, Riley!"

"And be thankful for that!" He fidgeted with his pocket for a minute before he was able to take his phone out. "But I'm _so_ calling him." Alice took out her phone and pointed at him, taking a picture.

"Okay. You call him; I'll send him this picture." Riley stopped, raising his eyes to meet hers, menacingly. His shoulders relaxed and, glaring he put the phone back into his jacket this time.

"Can't you _at least_ make the skirt longer?"

"Nope!" She grabbed a black cap from her closet and put it on. "See you later, guys!" She skipped out of the room. Riley groaned and threw himself down on the bed, his white shirt rising, and I couldn't help but laugh when he immediately tried to make it go back to its normal position.

"Shut up, Swan." He groaned again, placing a pillow over his torso, so it'd do the work the shirt wasn't doing.

"Okay, okay. Hey, what's the problem with your costume?"

"Besides the obvious, what do you mean?"

"Your dad seeing you in that."

He sat up and motioned to his pants, "Are you serious? This is _leather_. My dad would _freak out_." He stood up and walked to the door, holding it open for me to go out first. "I mean, I don't get it. You get to use a completely normal costume and I get this."

"Actually, that's probably one of the most common costumes. It's _Grease_, after all."

"Yeah, I can barely walk with this, poor Travolta, he had to _dance_ in one of these."

"_And_ he looked hot."

"Are you saying I don't?" He asked teasingly and I rolled my eyes.

"How did she even convince you to put that on?"

"I have her car for _a month_."

"_Wow_."

"Yeah, it's yellow though, it'd be better if it was black or some _cool_ color. _Yellow_." He scoffed and I laughed. "Don't laugh! Your car is even worse! It's just so gay!" We walked out of the house and he opened the door before jogging to his side and jumping into it.

"My car is not gay!" I defended, slapping his arm.

"Of course it is! I mean, cyan? And white? _So gay_." The rest of the ride was spent like that. Me making fun of his costume and he calling me a rat. The club, on the outside was white and on the left corner of the building had some neon Greek letters. Inside, it was, well… _dark_ with dark blue and purple lights, the DJ booth was against the wall right over the bar. It was full, like, really full. "Come here," Riley took my elbow and pulled me in front of him, placing his hand on my back guiding us to the left side were Alice was sitting in a booth with Emmett and Rosalie. I took a deep breath before smiling.

"Hey, Em."

"What's up, B?" He asked not looking at me, his eyes were glued to Riley before sliding down to where his hand disappeared behind my back. I tensed and shifted awkwardly, causing Riley to circle his arm around my waist.

"Um, Emmett, this is Riley. Riley, this is Emmett." Riley poked out his hand and Emmett shook it, his muscles tensing the fabric of his… Wait! Was that a prince custom? I looked to his right to see that Rosalie was dressed as Rapunzel. Go figure. Emmett looked briefly somewhere behind us before releasing Riley's hand. Rosalie stood up and showed Emmett her phone and he excused them. Riley nudged me to sit on the now empty seats and put his arm around my shoulders. "I still think this is a bad idea."

"Come on, Bella! Forget about that, okay? I'm gonna get something to drink." Riley stood up and both, Alice and I, watched until he had reached the bar.

"What was doing Emmett here?"

"Um, it was Rosalie actually. She wanted me to tell you-"

"I don't care, Alice. I don't wanna hear it, okay?"

"I don't think-"

"Alice? Don't, okay?" She nodded and took a sip from her glass.

"What are you drinking?"

"Coke. They wouldn't give me anything else."

I laughed, "You're lucky they let you in." She threw me a balled up napkin at the same time Riley reappeared, placing a glass, with the same dark liquid Alice had in hers, in front of me.

"_Ha!_"

"Hey!" I turned to Riley, who _didn't_ have Coke in his glass. In fact, he had a bottle. "Let's switch!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you can't drink."

"You can't either! You're still missing a year!"

"I at least look the part."

"Please?"

"No."

"Just a little?" It wasn't really about drinking, because I didn't care about that. It was just to annoy Alice.

"God, you're annoying." I smiled at him as he put the bottle over my lips.

"Can I have some?" Alice asked sweetly.

"No."

"See, I can drink, you _can't_."

"_Riley_! That's not fair!"

"She's my date." He shrugged nonchalantly and I smirked at Alice. "She can pretty much do whatever she wants, as far as I am concerned. Besides, she's not my sister, _and_ she's not dressed like a slut."

"But she's dressed like a rat!"

"A mouse," He put his arm around my shoulders again. "A _cute_ mouse."

"I hate you. _Both_ of you."

"Hey, Bella." I looked up, smiling and tensed when I realized who had called me. Jasper.

"Hi," He sat down next to Alice, across Riley. _And… who invited him?_

"So, you don't waste time, do you?"

"What are you even talking about?" I spat, knowing what he was talking about. Alice cleared her throat. "Riley, Jasper. Jasper, Riley." I muttered, motioning between them. Jasper nodded at Riley,

"I mean, _you_ just broke up with Edward. You do know who Edward is, right?" He said the last part turning to Riley. _Son of a…_

"Yes, sure. Her ex, right? Her _cheating_ ex. I _know_, she told me." He took a sip of his bottle before setting it back on the table before clearing his throat and looking directly at Jasper. "Listen dude, Bella is free to do _whatever_ she wants so, if she wants to go out with _me_, or any other guy, she _can_ do it. She can move on from the _piece of shit_ your friend is at the pace she wishes. So, leave her the fuck alone, okay pal?"

"Man, chill! I was just saying."

"And make sure to pass the message to your friend, and please tell him to stop looking this way. It's rude to stare like that." Instinctively I looked up and around the dark room. Finding nothing, or no one, that was staring at us.

"Guys," I sighed. "Both of you, calm down. Jasper, Riley is right. I am not with Edward any longer."

"And," Alice added, I had forgotten she was here. We all turned to her and Jasper looked as if he just realized she was there. "She _at least_ waited until she was single."

"_Who are you?_" Jasper asked Alice ad I had to resist my urge to laugh. Of course Jasper would not notice someone had been sitting in his same table for a month at school. "Aren't you too little to be here?" I had to resist laughing again, Riley did laugh though.

"Asshole!" She pushed him out of the booth so she could leave. "I'm eighteen, idiot." She stormed off and Jasper looked completely dumbfounded.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Really, Jasper? She's been sitting with us at school for a while now."

"_Really_?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm. Name?"

"Alice."

"She's _nice_." He hadn't moved his gaze from where Alice must have left to.

"_Dude_!" Riley snapped his fingers in front of his face. "She's my sister!"

"Oh! Sorry man. I'm just gonna leave, okay?" He stood up and walked away. And then I couldn't help it, I laughed until there were tears coming out of my eyes.

"I told her she couldn't wear that shit!"

I put a hand on his arm. "Calm down. Alice would never even give him the hour."

"Well, thanks God. He really is an asshole."

"You remember him?"

"Yeah,I actually remember most of the guys you hang out with. I played football with them."

"Oh, right." I leaned against his side and he squeezed my shoulder.

"Hey, scoot over."

"What?" He nudged me with his elbow until I was sitting with my back half to the seat, half to the wall. My eyes widened when he put his hand on my waist and turned so he was completely in front of me.

"Relax, I'm not going to kiss you."

"_Okay_."

"Put your hands on my neck." I did as he told me so and I arched an eyebrow. Really, _what the hell?_

"Everyone that sees this way will think we're kissing." He explained. _Okay_. "And your ex has been staring all night. It's annoying."

"Really?"

"Yes, it's annoying."

"No. I mean, is he-"

"Yes."

"Oh, okay." After couple seconds I chuckled nervously. "This is awkward."

"Agree."

"Riley? Is your girlfriend okay with this? I mean, she knows, _right_?"

"Yeah she knows, and she doesn't really mind. In fact, she thinks it's _funny_."

"I would be really jealous."

"Well, she _isn't_."

"And why are you doing this?"

"I never liked Cullen. He always seemed kinda fake to me. I don't _really know_ what happened between you two but when you started dating, that was my senior year, right?" I nodded. "Yeah, he at least looked like he was into you."

"I guess he isn't anymore." I shrugged at the same time my phone started ringing. His ringtone.

"It's him, right?" I nodded, swallowing. He reached behind him and took my phone from the table before clearing his throat and picked up. "Yes?" His voice was all throaty and I shook my head, looking at him. "Um, no. She can't pick up right now." He hung up and reached behind him again to leave the phone back on the table.

"You're just like your sister."

"What can I say? It must be in the genes." He chuckled, going back to sitting normally. He took a last sip from his bottle and stood up, stretching his hand for me to take. "Come on, let's dance!"

I shook my head, "No. No way." He rolled his eyes and took my hand, pulling me out of the booth and up on my feet.

"I told you I'd make sure you have some fun, didn't I?" I didn't even have time to answer before he was dragging me to the dance floor. "Come on, Bella, do it for me, okay?" He said already standing in front of me, he tilted his head to the side and I rolled my eyes, giving in as he put his hands on my hips and spun me around, my back against his chest.

I won't lie and say I didn't enjoy it, because I did but there was a reason I didn't want to do this in the first place. People were staring, like it was borderline inappropriate. I won't lie either and say it didn't worry me the fact that even with the staring and everything I enjoyed it. However, when I realized this –both, the staring and the not caring part– I excused myself and went to our booth, picked up my purse and went to the bathroom. There were couple girls there and I spent the time it took me to wipe the sweat off my forehead with a paper towel talking to them. I realized I hadn't seen Alice since she stormed off because of Jasper and decided to call her; I smiled and waved to the girls before turning to the door. I pushed the door of the bathroom open with my shoulder as I looked for my phone in my purse, completely sure I had put it in there.

"You look nice." I dropped my bag and, doing everything in my power _not_ to look up I kneeled on the floor picking up the things that had spilled out of it. Unfortunately, they weren't much and I could still see _his_ shoes right in front of me. Sighing, I stood up. "You're missing this." He said handing me my phone. _Traitor_. I was very, very, _very_ careful not to touch his hand. I still wasn't looking at him. I suddenly felt really embarrassed, as if he could know that the entire Riley thing was a fake.

"Thanks." I turned to leave the narrow hallway. Just to be sure. However, he grabbed my elbow and turned me around. Unconsciously, and cursing myself, I looked up and even in the darkness all I could see was green. Green. Green. Green.

_Fucking green. _

"I have to talk to you."

"Edward, let go." I tried to free my arm but his grip only tightened.

"Or what? Are you going to call your… b-boyfriend?" I looked down to where his hand was on my elbow.

"Edward-"

"If that's what he is, I mean."

"Edward."

"Is he?"

"_Edward_!"

"_Tell_ _me!_" I looked up, wide eyes. "Tell me." The crazed look in his eyes froze me and I could only stand there, gaping at him. "Bella, I need to know."

"Or what? It doesn't make a difference, Edward. Things are how they are and nothing is gonna change them, okay?"

"So, he _is_, then?" He whispered. Green meeting brown. And melting brown. The '_no_' I was about to unconsciously whisper back was left on the tip of my tongue. "It's _true_." He gripped his hair with both hands, letting go of my elbow, and turned to the other wall and kicked it. "It's fucking true." He kept repeating variations from that sentence for few minutes, I should have used that opportunity to leave so I could regain some of my determination back but instead I stayed there, worrying about him and how he might have been hurting his hands by punching the dry walls.

"Edward," I said for the third time, a little louder and he turned around his eyes troubled and wide. I recognized the same look from the time we were at the hospital when I sprained my ankle. He took the one step that was separating us and before I could even blink his hand was on my nape and his lips on mine.

My eyes closed on its own accord, and at the same time I told myself that one more kiss wasn't that big of a deal and I could have one if I so wished but as soon as I started kissing him back I realized that, even if that electricity was still there, it felt… wrong. I lifted one hand to his chest, pushing him away but he stepped closer, moving his other hand to my wrist and caressing it with his thumb as he pressed it against his chest. A flood of memories came to me. Far too much to be numbered. And it felt even worse. Automatically, I turned my head to my left and away from his mouth. He sighed and rested his forehead on my temple.

"I was going to tell you." He whispered. "I didn't want you to find out the way you did." And the memories, and the suppressed pain, and the wrongness in the kiss and… _everything_ just brought tears to my eyes, making it hard to see through them. "I never meant to hurt you… _I love you, Baby_." I closed my eyes again, in a futile attempt to stop the tears. "I am _insanely_ in love with you, Bella."

With the hand he still held in his, I pushed him away, this time not letting him stop me. "Don't do this to me, Edward. _It's not fair_."

"It's not fair. Okay, I get it but, what about what _you_'re doing to me, huh? That isn't fair either, Bella." He finally let go of my hand and stood right in front of me. "It kills me to see you with him, Bella. It kills me to see you all happy with him, and dancing and you… you k-kissing him. _It just fucking kills me, Bella_." And in his eyes I could see how much it actually hurt him and the fact that it was the same pain I've been feeling for the last month only ended in tears finally out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

"And you think it doesn't kills _me_? Edward, do you need me to remind you why we're even like this right now?" I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Because I _sure as hell_ don't need any remainder at night when I have no other option but to cry myself to sleep. Edward,-" My voice broke and I couldn't talk through the lump that had formed in my throat. I put a hand on my forehead and, looking down, I took a deep breath. "Edward, you were everything to me. _Everything_. You… y-you made me fall in love with you only to stomp over my heart like it meant _nothing_."

With eyes closed, he shook his head furiously."It means everything. Bella… I…" He opened his eyes and I couldn't tell if the tears in my own eyes were making me see them on his too or if they actually were there. "Do you… Do you s-still _l-love_ me?"

I looked right into his eyes and the word just slipped my lips. "_Yes_." As I heard myself I shook my head and wiped my eyes again. "_No_. The person I love does not exist. _You_ are not who I _thought_ you were."

"Baby, it's still me. I'm still Edward. _Your Edward_. I'm still your guy. _Only yours_. Bella, _please_…" He took a step closer and I took one back. I looked down, shaking my head.

"No you are not. You _never_ were." I shook my head again and, without risking a glance up I finally walked away. Still looking down, I crashed into someone, this someone gripping my shoulders.

"Bella?" Riley's voice shook me out of my reverie, and I finally looked up, the concern in his eyes and voice only making it worse. I wrapped my arms around him and hid my face against his chest, his arms automatically embracing me. "What's wrong Cutie?"

"Take me home, Riley. _Please_."

* * *

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 15**

**If you just walked away****  
****What could I really say?****  
****Would it matter anyway?****  
****Would it change how you feel?**

**I am the mess you choose****  
****The closet you cannot close****  
****The devil in you I suppose****  
****'Cause the wounds never heal**

**But everything changes****  
****If I could****  
****Turn back the years****  
****If you could****  
****Learn to forgive me****  
****Then I could learn to feel**

**Everything Changes - Staind**

**EPOV**

Thoughts swirled back and forth during what seemed for forever. I was not used to thinking this much. Before it usually was about what would happen but now, now I knew and I didn't feel any better.

I was feeling worse.

I mean, how was I supposed to compete with a guy over my- over Bella if the guy was pretty fucking perfect. I mean, back in high school yes, he was an asshole and even worse than me but still he always managed to be the perfect fucking guy to everyone. Even my dad loved him, I don't know how they even met but all I would hear during a while was something along the lines of 'Oh, the Biers kid this' 'The Biers kid that' I mean, I liked him but it was while he wasn't trying to steal my girl. And yes, I did say my girl. She might not be anymore but when he stepped into play she was _still_ mine.

Noises coming from my left took me back to reality and then I wished they hadn't. The sounds indicated that there was a couple having sex close from where I was and it was just fucking disgusting. I picked up a bottle and threw it the way the noises were coming from, hoping I hadn't hit anyone; the glass shattering caused a squeal from the girl and not a minute later there was someone rushing past me and up the stairs back into the club.

I was sitting on the back of the club, so I could drink without getting in any problem, not that I really minded though, I just didn't feel like facing Chief Swan -my former almost in law- tonight. I picked another bottle and took a long swig before someone walked my way.

"Man, what the fuck?" Jasper bellowed, taking a bottle and sitting on a box he placed in front of me. He stared apprehensively at me and the empty bottles.

"So you saw her?"

"Why the fuck do you care?" He laughed, he fucking laughed.

"Come on, Edward! I already told you I was just messing with you." I raised my gaze and glared at him.

"Still not your business."

"Okay, calm down." He raised his hands and I sighed, grabbing another bottle.

"You shouldn't drink that much, Edward." He said seriously and I laughed.

"Really, Jasper? I bet you've drank three times what I have." Besides, my heart is fucking breaking, and the only reason I ever stopped was the _heartbreaker_.

_"So, guys! What are we doing tonight?" I asked as I approached the circle of my friends and Bella's friend, Felix, that was easily becoming one of us._

_"Oh my! Is it you, Edward?" Jasper started with a fake gasp and finished with a bow._

_"Yes, asshole, it's me." I knew I had been spending less time with them but, what can I say? I'd rather be with my girl than with them. And yes, I do know how that sounds but no, I'm not whipped. They all laughed at my expense as I entered the circle, standing between Emmett and Jasper. I put my hands in my pockets suddenly self- conscious._

_"Where's your girl, Cullen?"_

_I grimaced, "Night with her friends." And I wasn't about to say it out loud but I kinda missed her, like, a lot. And these jerks wouldn't understand except Emmett that handed me a beer giving me a that first beer and the time I got home I was pretty wasted and fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow. Next thing I know is I am hiding under a pillow from the goddamned sun, groaning when someone knocked twice on the door just to open the door without me saying something._

_"Hey, Baby!" I said smiling when Bella walked in. She sat on the edge of my bed and ran a hand through my hair. I couldn't help the moan that escaped me._

_"Hello." She then removed her hand making a face. "You're sweaty." She cleaned her hand on my shirt._

_"I missed you last night, Baby." Yeah, I was still kind of drunk. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her down to me, rolling over so I was over her. _

_She looked so, so pretty._

_So I kissed her._

_And she pushed me away._

_And it hurt._

_"Ew! Edward" She rolled away from me and stood up, rubbing a hand against her mouth. "You taste awful!" I groaned as I sat up, grabbing her hips and pulling her between my legs._

_"Sorry. Been drinking." She cupped my chin and lifted my head, looking at me._

_"A lot, apparently."_

_I shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess, I got home pretty late."_

_"Esme is worried, you know?"_

_"Baby, _don't_." I groaned. "Not you too! I already have enough with my parents."_

_"Don't you think both, you and your parents, have had enough with your drinking?"_

And right then we had our first fight. I told her that it was none of her business and she yelled that it was. And then I yelled back, and she yelled back and soon until she told me she couldn't see me when I was like that and left. And then when I had sobered up, and looked -and tasted- like a human I went to apologize and I promised her I wouldn't get drunk.

And yeah, I think that promise lost its value when she let Riley Fucking Biers stick his tongue into her mouth.

"But I am used to, and I ate something before drinking."

"What's your point, Jasper?" I said, annoyed while I finished up another bottle.

"Nothing, just saying."

"Yeah, then shut the fuck up." He remained silent for a while and reached for one of the bottles I had lined up in front of me.

"Did you know there was a new girl?" He said out of the blue, looking somewhere behind me. I turned around and there was nothing but a wall. And I am the one with drinking issues.

"Alice Brandon, yeah." I ran a hand through my hair. If it wasn't for her this wouldn't be-

"She's Biers' sister." I choked up on my beer and I coughed repeatedly. "Yeah, I know."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He shook his head. _Oh, son of a bitch!_

This is definitely her fault!

"She's hot." Again, out of the blue and still looking that wall.

"What the fuck is your problem, man? She looks like a child!"

"Height, maybe. But trust me, Edward, there was not a thing even remotely childish in what we were doing."

"It was her?" I nearly screeched. "You are sick, Jasper."

"Yeah, Jasper, you are so sick." Emmett appeared from inside the club and sat beside me on the steps. "Why is he sick?" He asked me, grabbing a bottle.

"He fucked Alice Brandon." I said with a shudder.

Emmett tilted his head to the side, looking at Jasper. "Weren't you worried about breaking her? I mean, you are at least twice her size."

"You knew her, too?"

"Yeah, she's been sitting with us for a while." Emmett said in a 'duh' tone.

"Am I really that unobservant?"

"_Yes!_" Emmett and I said at the same time. He kept glancing at the wall.

I just rolled my eyes, grabbed another bottle, and went back to my brooding.

* * *

**BPOV**

I didn't know what it was about this place, I seriously had no idea. Maybe it was the view, or the position I always sat when I was here but whatever it was, it was comforting.

And I needed some sort of comforting right now.

I briefly considered texting Riley to thank him, as soon as he had pulled in my driveway I ran out of the car and into my house, but that idea was discarded when I realized my phone was on the bed and I was simply not moving from here. Also, my line of thoughts was interrupted by my door opening.

_Shit, I thought I had locked it._

My mom stood awkwardly by the door, and I just wanted her to close it. Light was filtering in from the hallway. I raised my eyebrow and she sighed coming completely inside, turning the lights on. _Great_. She sat on the edge of my bed, facing me in the windowsill. I turned my head to the window, resting it on my knees and wrapping into myself a little bit more just to see if that would get her to leave. Of course not. That only led her to stay there in silent for what felt like _ages_ before she sighed and shifted on the bed.

"May I ask what happened?" She asked in a low voice. Charlie and Renée had not been expecting me and I wasn't expecting them to be in the living room, watching a movie so of course they noticed when I ran into the house as if I was crazy, of course they noticed Riley running after me. However, they must have stopped him, and for that I was thankful. In the month or so that had passed we have pretty much talked everyday but I have only seen him thrice so yeah, it was a bit embarrassing for him to see me like _this_.

_A mess_.

"No." I talked into the sleeve of my shirt. Which was wet. Yes, I had calmed down a bit but I still couldn't stop crying.

_So pathetic_.

She stood up and walked to me, tugging on my ponytail before sitting on the other end of the windowsill. "Come on, pretty girl, tell me what's going on." I shook my head. "Bella," She tugged on my flannel pants, trying to make me talk.

_So not happening_.

"_Mom_," I whined. "Leave."

"Ellen's son told me it has something to do with Edward."

"If you know then, why you won't leave me alone?" I snapped, looking at her. Her eyes widened and I sighed, going back to my previous position. "Yeah, it's about him."

"Um, what about him?" Yeah, I hadn't told them. They would ask questions, especially my mom, and I just didn't want to answer those questions. I had enough problems thinking about it, I didn't want to have to actually voice it.

"We broke up."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, _oh_." I shook my head, politely asking God to make her leave me a-fucking-lone.

"But… It is, you know, you fight and you make up, _right_?"

"No, Mom." I dried my face with my sleeve, "It's really… over." Thanks Mom, for turning me into a sob machine again.

"Oh, Sweetie." She cooed and wrapped her arms around me as best as she could. "Everything will be alright, Bella. Just…" She stood up and was back few seconds after, thrusting my phone into my hands. "Here, call him, Sweetie. I bet he misses you already." I shook my head since she gave me my phone and scoffed when she ended.

Yeah, right. He probably was with someone else.

With _Her_.

"Here, it's ringing. I'll leave you alone." She left the phone balancing on my knee and ran out of the room. _Not turning the damn lights off_. I panicked when I heard a sound coming from my phone and with my eyes wide and trembling hands lifted it up to my ear. I sighed in relief when it was the voicemail. I hung up and threw it where my mom had been sitting and morphed back into a ball.

There was something that just wouldn't leave my mind and it was driving me literally crazy. And it was that he looked as if he cared, like, _really cared_. Remorseful, even. Even if he was, what did that meant? Yes, he was actually sorry but, _what did it meant_? Just because he recognized he fucked up, and was repentant about it didn't mean that I'd just forgive him and we could continue as if nothing ever happened.

_Right?_

_No, no, no_. Of course it didn't mean that. I wasn't going to be _that_ kind of girl. I had always thought it was pathetic -

_Yeah, because you're not pathetic right now_

-To be with someone that had committed any kind of betrayal just because that person apologized. It was pathetic. And no one with an _ounce_ of self-respect should do that.

_But, God, I missed him so much. _

Anyway, what did I know after all? I had thought he loved me. It would be easy to trick me into believing something else.

_God, I'm such an idiot._

The following two days I stayed locked into my room wishing I could crawl into a hole and die. Alas, it never happened. Alice came at some point but Mom told her I was sick and that I couldn't see anyone, which I was grateful for. However, Saturday night, when it was Edward the one asking to see me she came up and begged –yes, what she did could be easily considered as begging- me to either go downstairs or let her call him in. Honestly, I was surprised she didn't just let him in. She said he looked like a mess and that I should talk to him. When I refused again she said he asked her to tell me something. That's when I put my foot down and kicked her out of my room and locked it and put on music so loud that I couldn't even hear my thoughts.

_Which was an added bonus, of course._

It was Monday morning and I was brushing my teeth in front of the mirror. Mom had offered, via a little note under my door I must add, to allow me to stay the day but I didn't want him to have so much power over me so I refused. But more than anything, I wanted to just… move on.

I cleaned my mouth when I was done and frowned at my reflection. There was absolutely anything I could do about my red and puffy eyes which meant I'd have to wear my glasses. God, I hated those. My cheeks and the tip of my nose were pinker than usual and yes, I hated my blush but I had to admit it looked kind of nice but what I had on my face now were just reddish spots all over my face. Between my eyebrows was a frown that no matter what I did wouldn't leave. I hated how I looked. Frustrated I moved my bangs out of my forehead and, of course, I had a pimple. I covered it with make-up and fixed my hair into a ponytail before walking out of the bathroom and grabbing my bag and glasses on my way out.

I skipped breakfast, and went to my car, putting the music as loud as it would go before I had even closed my door. I turned on my phone and yup, I had tons and tons of stuff to check. Everything that came from Edward, which was almost everything, I deleted immediately and finally texted Riley back, ignoring Alice's messages as I would see her later.

When I saw Charlie peeked through the window I threw my phone to the passenger side and drove off. All the way to school I kept repeating that I was fine, that I was fine, that I was fine. That shit was supposed to work, right? I was relying on it so much that by the point I was getting out of my car I was whispering the words. That shit was supposed to work, right? I was relying on it so much that by the point I was getting out of my car I was whispering the words.

I was running kind of late so I just walked right into the school to pick up my books. My phone vibrated and it was Alice. And I suddenly panicked. But, it was her fault after all; I had been telling her that it was a bad idea. I could have stayed at home and nothing further would have happened. I would have continued being miserable but I wouldn't have so many doubts as I do now. Third period and I was still successfully avoiding Alice. In a hurry I left my prior class and jogged to my locker. As soon as I opened it a folded piece of paper fell down and not really wanting to know what it said I picked it up, unfolding it to read it.

**When I see you smile and know that**

**it's not for me, that is when**

**I miss you the most**

**I miss you and I love you.**

**So fucking much.**

**Let's just talk. **

**Please?**

**-E **

I closed my locker and stomped all the way to his, knowing he'd be there, and hating myself for being right when I spotted him in front of his locker, headphones on. I hated myself even more because my steps faltered when I saw him. But then I was proud that my anger only grew when he looked my way, his eyes wide as he removed his headphones. I still had the paper on my hand, so when I was close enough I slapped it against his chest. His hand went to cover mine, his eyes focusing on them, and then I hated myself again because I didn't just fucking move my hand.

"Did you read it?" he looked up. And right then I hated myself the most because his eyes were all sad and confused and hopeful and anxious. And he had bags under his eyes, and his hair looked messier than usual. He hadn't even shaved.

Mom was right. He looked like a mess. And that was being nice.

"No." I lied. I must have done something right because he didn't call me on it, or he actually believed me. However, it would have been better if I had just said the truth. His other hand moved to the little of my back pulling me close and then leaned down so his mouth was right on my ear.

I wanted to be disgusted and hate him but all I could focus on was the way his lips grazed my ear as he repeated what was written on the paper that was now crumpled under my hand that had turned into a fist.

"Edward," I said trying to move but his hand only put more pressure on both, my hand and my back. But I knew I could have just moved if I had actually wanted to but I just couldn't help to feel safe and warm and, _yes_, loved in his embrace.

"I went to your house. I wanted to talk to you." I closed my eyes and hated myself a little bit more for finding his scent comforting.

"I know."

"I told her to give you a message, did she?" I shook my head and he pulled me even closer. "Baby, we _can_ work this out. I know it's hard and believe me when I tell you that I'm sorry and that it'll never, ever, _ever_, happen again." I couldn't help what I did next, it wasn't even a voluntary movement, I just pressed my face against the side of his neck, inhaling deeply and fisting his shirt on his side. "I know you deserve _so_ much better but, Bella, there's no one, _no one_ that could ever love you as much as I do. Bella I miss you, I miss you so much that it's driving me crazy. I am a mess without you. I know I've told you this before but… If I could take back everything I did, I would. You are my everything, Bella. Tell me what to do or what to say. I feel _lost_, Baby. Please, please, please, _please_ give me another chance Bella." And I felt myself starting to nod because apparently I was _that_ kind of girl but… "I know we'll be fine."

Fine.

I am fine, I am fine, I am fine.

And yes, I was fine. I had to be_._

_Without him._

**

* * *

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.**

**Since my laptop died I had been writing on my phone but I had a _huge _fight with my mom and she took my phone away. Until last night (Yay me!).**

**Anyway...**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 16**

**I don't hear the music****  
****When I'm looking in your eyes****  
****But I feel the rhythm of your body****  
****Close to mine****  
****It's the way we touch, it soothes me****  
****It's the way we'll always be****  
****your kiss your pretty smile****  
****you know I'd die for****  
****oh baby****  
****you're all I need**

**Greatest Story Ever Told****- Oliver James**

**EPOV**

I felt her moving against my neck and I had a mini freak out because it could mean that she wanted nothing to do with me or that she'd give me another chance and leave Frat-Boy. But then her body tensed and I went back to what I had said, nothing that wasn't true, before she tried to push me away again. My mini freak out turned into something more and I had to remind myself that she couldn't really talk with the way we were holding each other.

But, I didn't want her to _ever_ leave my arms.

So, I didn't let her. Not completely at least. My hands remained where they had been, I just moved my head so I was looking at her and, looking into her eyes, never in my life I felt so lost. Her eyes were so troubled and sad and her lips were not on their usual smile while looking at me.

"Baby?" I wasn't sure why I talked. I knew I wanted an answer but I also knew I wasn't sure how I would react if it wasn't the one I wanted.

_Come on, Baby, is just three letters. Y-E-S._

_Yeah, but 'no' is two._

_Shut up!_

She tried to move again and the way her lips pursed when I didn't let her had me sighing and loosening my grip on her until my arms fell flatly against my thighs.

"Edward... I..." She was playing with the headphones handing down my neck. I wondered if she realized they were hers and that she had left them in the bag of my laptop when we came back from France.

"You?" I urged when she trailed off. She remained silent and I placed a finger under her chin, making her look at me.

"Can you do me a favor?" She said rapidly.

"Whatever you want, Sweetie." I whispered, re-accommodating my hand so I was cradling her chin between my index and thumb, with which I was caressing the barely noticeable dimple there. She crossed her arms over her chest and rocked on her heels once before gently moving her face out of my grasp.

"I... I need to be alone, Edward. It's-"

"Baby, _no_." I pleaded. I didn't want her to be alone. I wanted her to be with  
me. And _only_ me.

No Frat-Boy. Or anyone else for that matter.

"Edward li-" There was definitely no mini freak out anymore. It was a _huge_ freak out now.

"We don't even have to get back together. Baby steps and that kinda stuff. Friday! Let's do some-" I started babbling but, what else could I do? I _needed_ her to take me back.

"Edward!" She cut me off and I shut up immediately. "Listen, please." I nodded. "Since we... Since... _Ah, fuck_! You know since... _that_, all you've done is send me stuff and call me and, Edward, stop please."

Okay, that was certainly not what I expected.

"Okay." I said dragging on the 'A'.

"It is just... Suffocating. Edward, give me some room to, I don't know, to think. To clear my mind. If I say yes right now I'll probably regret it and that's not fair. For neither of us."

"_Baby_..."

"Edward, _please_." And how was I supposed to say no when she was looking at me like that? There was no way I could, so I nodded, looking down. "Thanks." But then something changed and, God, we were so close, and she was looking at me with bright wide eyes, well, she was looking at my lips, to be more accurate. And I wanted her so fucking much. _Sofuckingmuch_. Her hand on my side tightened and I would have already kissed her if she hadn't just tell me she needed time.

If time was what she needed to forgive me, time was what she'd have.

But she fell _so_ good in my arms. So warm, so soft. I leaned closer, her eyes closing, and for less than a second I looked at her. Really looked. Despite the fact one second was too short, for me it was enough. Her cheeks were rosy with the shadows of her eyelashes over part of them. I discovered something I had never realized before, there was the slightest hint of freckles and I smiled  
because she really couldn't get any more beautiful. I barely looked down to her lips when a loud ringing brought us back to reality.

She opened her eyes, blushing profusely, and I wouldn't have let go of her if she hadn't stepped away, taking her phone from her pocket.

"_What_?" She hissed, looking to the floor. "Okay, okay." She hung up, and looked up at me. "Sorry, it was just-"

"No, it's okay." Despite how much I wanted to kiss her it was probably best we hadn't. I had already come to the conclusion that this 'time' bullshit wasn't really bullshit so I'd just go along with it. She lifted on her toes and kissed my cheek before starting to walk away. And then something occurred to me.

"One condition." I said after grabbing her wrist and turning her around. "Stop seeing Frat-Boy." The nickname escaped me and she raised an eyebrow, still not agreeing. "I swear, Bella, if you don't I'm gonna start camping on your porch." And what happened next made my day, my week, my month, hell, it made _my life_. She smiled at me all shy and sweet and blushing.

_God, she's so beautiful._

_And I am so, so, so stupid. _

"Let's see how The Chief likes that, Cullen." I smiled back and tugged on her wrist, spinning her around, when she turned to walk away.

"I love you, Swan." I whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek  
and letting her walk away. When she was out of sight I chuckled, looking around and noticing that the halls were more than empty.

Everything suddenly seemed so, so, _so _much better.

**BPOV**

"Why were you talking to him?" Alice whispered-yelled to me. I sighed and shrugged.

"I don't-"

"If you can call _talking_ what you two were doing!" I shook my head and turned my attention to the book in front of me. She's been going on and on about it for the last hour and a half. And she was starting to piss me off.

"Really, Bella? Have you lost your freaking mind!" I slapped my pen against the book.

"Stop it, Alice!" She shut up immediately and I turned to see her. "Whatever I do with him is my business, okay? I really appreciate it that you worry but... just... nothing happened. Happy?"

"Well, it surely looked like way more than nothing happened." She mumbled.

"Then you should feel proud of yourself, whatever was going to happen you stopped it, okay?" And I still feel like hitting you over and over again.

_Of course that makes me feel like hitting myself for being such an idiot._

"You would have regretted it."

"Drop it, Alice." I sighed and we both went back to what we were doing before. We didn't talk again until she went home.

I didn't need that, is not like I planned going to him. Okay, maybe I did but not for the reasons Alice thought. And even if it was indeed like that, it is my problem. I didn't even know what really happened there. I mean, he was there and I missed him and he was _righ__t there_ and it felt so wrong but he  
was _righ__t there_.

_Okay, I think we get it. He was there_.

_And you are so weak, by the way_.

"Shut up!" I hissed to myself, shaking my head.

"Excuse me?" Dad's voice came from the door. I turned and he wasn't wearing his 'cop clothes'. He must have been here for a while. Great. Now he either thinks I'm mental or disrespectful.

"Sorry, Dad. Thinking aloud. Is there something you need?"

"Can I come in?"

"Um, sure." He sat on the edge of my desk, facing me on the bed.

"So... How've you been?" He crossed his legs and looked up at me.

"Um, good?"

"Yeah..." He shifted and pursed his lips, making his moustache twitch. "About Friday?" I sighed.

"What about it?"

"Listen Bells, I know you think I don't care-"

"Dad-"

"No, listen. I know you think I don't care or that I am too engrossed in myself to notice but... I have every right to worry if you burst into the house crying your eyes out and a _college_ guy is running after you." He crossed his arms over his chest. "What's going on, Bella?

"First of all, the college guy is Riley, and you love him."

"He _is_ a good kid but I didn't know you frequented older boys."

"I don't. Is just him."

"Okay. So, what happened with Edward? Because I know it's about him. And, Bells? He's not worth it. You are not really yourself anymore, you spend all your time locked in here. You used to barely come home. And, don't get me wrong I love it that you hang out here more but not because you are avoiding him..." He was so lost in his ramblings that he was moving his hands around.

"Dad?" He sighed.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want you to... You know... Again." I looked down, embarrassed, to my hands on my lap.

"I'm sorry, Dad. Is not gonna happen again. I promise."

"You guys broke up, right?" I nodded, still not looking up and he sighed. "Is just that you got _so_ much better after he came into your life, I don't want you to go back there."

"Dad, I won't. You're right. He is not worth it, okay?" Not enough to actually go through it because I've thought about it so, so much.

"What did he do to you?"

"Dad..."

"Okay. I get it." He stood up and held out a hand for me. Confused I used it as support to stand up, when I did he pulled me into him and hugged me. "I love you, Princess." I smiled, he hadn't called me that in years.

"I love you too, Daddy." He kissed my temple and patted my shoulder awkwardly.

_Oh, Charlie Swan ever the affectionate._

He went out and I sighed, resting against the desk.

_Edward_.

I couldn't stop thinking about him. Moreover, what I had said to him, that I needed some time. Some time for what? What was supposed to happen when that time was over? _Agh_! This is so complicated. Why is it all so complicated? This is my fault, anyway. I knew how Edward was before I got involved with him and yet I crushed on him and God, I was so stupid, every girl had a crush on him.

_Yeah, but he chose you._

"And Tanya." I scoffed to myself. My phone rang on my back pocket and I smiled at the familiar ringtone.

"Yo, Swan!"

"Riley." I laughed.

"Hey, Cutie." He said more seriously. "How ya' doing?" _And there he goes again._

"Can you stop talking like that?"

"Okay, okay." He laughed. "Really, though, are you busy?"

"Nope. What's up?"

"You know what's _'up'_, B."

"Do we have to talk about it?"

"We don't _have_ to..."

"Well, the plan worked." I said with a sigh. I couldn't care less about it.

"I figured, but it still doesn't explain why you were crying, Cutie." Have I ever mentioned how I _love_ it when he calls me that?

By the time Mom came in, I had told him all about Friday and today, he had told me about Charlie's inquisition and the rest of his weekend. We talked about our day and about the most stupid things possible.

"I'll call you tomorrow."

"'K, bye."

"Dinner's ready, Bella." Mom repeated, with a little smile curving her lips.

"What?" I asked as I jumped down from my desk and unplugged my phone from its charger, pocketing it.

"Nothing."

Oh, but it felt as if there _was_ something.

* * *

**Wish your holidays were grea****t. Or _at least_ better than mine.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Hey, I never would have thought that****  
****When you left me I'd feel sexy****  
****And so good in my skin again**

**And I never would have known that**  
**I'd be dreaming so much better**  
**Without you in my head**

**Standing in front of themirror**  
**My clothes never fit better**  
**My, but I've never been louder**

**I look so good without you**  
**Got me a new hair due**  
**Looking fresh andbrand new**  
**Since you said that we were through**

**Done with your lies**  
**Baby, now my tears dry**  
**You can see my brown eyes**  
**Ever since you said goodbye**

**I Look So Good (Without You)- Jessie James**

**BPOV**

"Em, stop this, okay?" I said, stopping and turning to face him.

"But-"

"Emmett, really, it's nice that you're doing this but she should have just told me."

"I knew, too, Bella."

"What?" I shifted my weight to my other leg and put my hands on my hip. "Emmett, who else knows?"

His hand came to the back of his neck. "I don't really know, Bella. Besides Rose and me, Edward and Tanya," I crossed my arms over my chest. _Edward and Tanya_. "Jasper knows, too but he's stoned most of the time so..."

"Felix knows too." I mumbled.

"Oh, right! But really, I don't know who else knows although I did found out at a party." He shrugged. My arms fell to my sides and I looked down, my hair covering most of my face.

"Hey," He whispered, nudging my arm. "It's okay, Bella."

I looked up and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "It's not okay, Em." My voice was barely a whisper. I wouldn't have been able to talk any louder without falling apart. I had never been really close to him. I used to spend all of my time with Edward and he spent his with Rose, Edward and Rose hated each others. Is not hard to guess why. We have never been close, yet when he pulled me in a hug I couldn't help but think how comforting it was. When I started wetting his shirt with my tears he pulled me into the auditorium so no one would see me crying but didn't let go of me until I had calmed down.

He walked to one of the seats and patted the one beside his. "Come here." I obliged, sitting with my legs against my chest."You are his friend, Emmett." I turned to see him. "Why did he do it?"

He sighed, "I'm sure he'd tell you if you ask."

"And how am I supposed to believe whatever he says?"

"Good point." He shifted on his seat and put his feet over the seat in front of him. "Honest to God, Bella, I didn't know until a week or so before summer was over. Tanya was drunk and well, ya' know." I nodded. "And the first time I talked to him about it was at the Halloween party."

"I just don't get it, Emmett."

"Listen, B, I really can't tell you why he did it but what I can actually tell you is that he really is sorry and he really, really, really wants you back."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I thought he'd drink himself into a coma after you left with your boyfriend."

"Riley is not my boyfriend." I said before really thinking it through. Yes, I had said Edward I'd stop 'seeing' Riley but... I don't know if there was a real 'but' other than the fact it felt wrong using him like that. He was a great friend but that was it. I knew myself and if I kept this up it'd get messy. _Messier_.

"Really? You sure looked cozy."

"We are just seeing each other." Again, I had no idea why I said that.

"Either way, it's driving him crazy. He thinks he's completely lost you."

"He has, Em." He raised an eyebrow at me. "I think."

"Listen, I'm not saying you have to look past what he did because I know it's nearly impossible. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't get involved with someone else until you figure things out. Until you BOTH figure things out."

"We both?"

"Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense but he is hurting, too. Probably more than you are."

"Well, good. He deserves it."

"He does, if it wasn't for the fact he really is going through a hard time I would have kicked his ass already." I smiled.

"Thanks, Em."

"Just talk to him, Bells. Really hear what he's got to say, then you can decide wheter to believe it or not." He stood up. "Come on, the period is almost over, I'll walk you to your next class." I followed after him and before I entered the classroom he added. "Listen, when Edward did what he did, he was thinking about himself. When Rose did what she did, she was thinking about you, too. Talk to her, she misses you."

"Who would have thought you could pull off the 'wise-friend' card."

"Yeah, let's keep it between us. I have a reputation to live up to."

* * *

I'd been thinking about what Emmett said for the last hour of the day and came to the conclusion that, yes, I needed to hear his side of the story if I was going to ever be able to truly move on. Move onto what, though, I had no idea.

By the time the teacher dismissed us, I was ready to go. I dodged people all over the hallways so I could get to his locker before he left but then I stopped myself. I probably needed more than determination to do it, and of course it would be better if we did not have that talk with nosy people all around us. I had practice anyway, so I thought I would at least talk to Rose, Emmett was right. Somewhat at least, because I would have liked it better not to be fooled like I was.

I walked into the locker room and changed clothes before walking to Rose's locker, hoping she was here even though we still had some time before practice actually started.

"Hey," I said, twisting my hands together in front of me.

"Oh! Bella! I am so-" I looked up at her, about to tell her to shut up when my eyes caught a glimpse of movement behind her. She kept babbling as I chastised myself for even joggling the idea of talking to him. He was standing in front of Tanya's locker, talking in hushed tones. His eyes alight, her smile wide.

_Son of a-_

_You better not finish that, Esme's done nothing wrong._

I shook my head, focusing back on Rose. "I-It's okay, Rose." I swallowed hard and she looked to the sides, probably searching for whatever cause my reaction. I closed my eyes when Tanya laughed, louder than normal, but before I did I saw Rose turning. Se cursed, understanding my reaction and took my elbow dragging me out of the locker room and into the Gym. I sat down on the bench and shook my head to myself.

So, so, so, so stupid.

"Are you okay?" Rosalie asked cautiously.

"Yes. Perfect."

"Bella…"

"No, I mean it. I don't care." I was so angry at myself that it somehow allowed me to actually smile at her.

I crossed my legs and pulled out my phone, "Jessica is having a party this weekend right?" I looked up, raising my eyebrow when she didn't answer.

"Um, yeah." I nodded and started typing.

**_What are you doing on Saturday? –B_**

**_Asking me out, Cutie? –R_**

**_No… Maybe –B_**

**_What do you have in mind?-R_**

**_Come with me to a party. –B_**

**_Am I still playing boyfriend part? –R_**

**_Yup. –B_**

**_Only if we hang out Sunday, too. –R_**

**_Of course. –B_**

**_Cool. Gotta go. I'll call you later, Cutie. –R_**

"I'll call you later, huh? Cutie?" I narrowed my eyes, closing the text.

"Didn't you know, Tanya, it's rude to read over someone's shoulder?" She came to sat beside me.

"Yeah… I guess I just got curious, you know, with all the smiling you were doing." She smiled sweetly at me. Saccharin sweet. "Moving on fast, huh?"

"I've been hanging out with you for years, _T_." I stood up and smiled at her. "I guess you're rubbing the whorishness off on me."

* * *

"Hey," I jumped beside Alice and poked her side, my pony tail bouncing on top of my head.

"What?" She asked not really paying attention, going through pictures on the screen before her. She had joined the Yearbook Club claiming she _had_ to be out of her house more time.

"Let's go to a party. This Saturday." She hummed in response, standing up and taking a memory stick from a camera. "I asked your brother to come." That caught her attention. She looked up from the camera.

"You did?" I nodded, smiling. "Good." She came back to sit in front of the computer. "Let me turn this off and we can go."

"Let's go to my house, okay?" I said as we walked to the parking lot, she already had her car here and yes, she did take me to that ride she talked about when we first met. She called me a dramatic when I kissed the ground when I got out of the car. And yes, I was putting off a show, I did enjoy it. She agreed and few minutes later my mom was prancing towards us. She liked it when Alice came over. She got even chipper, if possible, they both did. They would have made a great pair if they had gone to high school together. Mom left to do something and we went down to the basement. Few years ago, Mom got tired of Dad yelling every time something interesting happened in whatever game he was watching so they set up a home theater down here but then Mom got tired of him spending most of his time here so she turned half of the room into her 'art room', and by art she apparently meant filling balloons with paint to throw darts at them. Yeah, my parents were rather interesting.

"Why did you change your mind?" Alice asked, putting on the plastic robe before reaching for the darts.

"About?" I asked as I threw one dart, hitting a blue balloon.

"Riley." Yellow one.

"I do like hanging out with him, Alice." Red.

"You know what I mean." She stopped to look at me. I sighed and looked back at her.

"He'll stop bugging the hell out of me if he sees me with someone else." I shrugged and turned back to the papered wall. "Is not about jealousy anymore, Alice." Purple.

"If you say so." White.

"I say so." Orange.

"Great. We need to look for clothes." Green.

I frowned. "Hmm, feel like shopping, actually." She squealed. Pink.

_Why is it always pink with her?_

I continued throwing darts at the wall as she sat atop the pool table –Dad's addition- talking non-stop of all the shops we just _had_ to go until Dad came home, yelling as he walked into the house, asking if anyone was home.

"Basement, Dad!" I yelled back. He sauntered in, couple minutes later, heading right to the TV after kissing my head in greeting and muttering something along the lines that I was just as crazy as Mom.

"Hey, Chief." Alice said.

"Hey, Thief." I shook my head, smiling. Alice had insisted that he called her that, so they could have a _greeting_. "Where's your mom, Bells?"

"She said she had to go somewhere."

"Pizza night, then." He proclaimed, groaning as he reached for the phone. "Do you know where she went?"

"No. She didn't say." I heard as he ordered the pizzas and I nodded to Alice to go upstairs, as I took the plastic off of me. She jumped down and followed me up to my room; I entered my closet, looking for something to change in as my phone started ringing. I took it out of my pocket and threw it to the bed. "Pick it up." I said recognizing the ringtone. "I'm busy, or something." I walked into the bathroom and changed clothes.

When I came out Alice was on my bed, with her laptop in front of her and a book beside her. _Ugh. Homework time._ "He said that he knows you saw and that it wasn't what it looked like."

"Of course it wasn't."

She sighed, looking down to her book. "It _never_ is."

* * *

"I was invited to a party, Alice. What the hell am I doing here?" Alice pointed at me without looking from the rack.

"Her fault. She avoided me yesterday."

"I was not- Whatever." I sighed and looked down to my phone. Yes, I had said I felt like shopping but I meant normal shopping, not Nazi-Shopping with Alice. We were supposed to come yesterday but I was tired after Cheer practice so, she decided to wake me up at eight o' clock so we could have time to properly see what we were going to buy, her words, not mine.

"I don't know what you're doing here either, Riley." Alice said, grabbing a dress and looking at it before shaking her head and putting it back. She was really weird.

"I bet you had no idea she gets like this." Riley whispered and I nodded, still typing on my phone. Since Tanya told me I had pretty much alienated myself from most of my friends, except at lunch because it would have been pretty obvious why I was doing so and if I was determined on something it was not letting people know how much the entire situation affected me. In fact, it had worked; no one looked at me with pity or try to 'be there for me' it was just like any other relationship that had ended

For me, though, it wasn't.

After I ignored his call that day and another one later he tried to talk to me at school but now I was back to pretending he didn't even exist. It was just easier to deal with. However, it was almost impossible to do so in the class we had together. Unluckily for me the teacher had a no-changing-seats policy so I was stuck beside him until the end of the year. Every note with something scribbled on them stayed on the desk after I left. I honestly didn't know if he picked them up or if someone else read them. I didn't care.

That was the most surprising thing, I didn't care. Well, to some extent because it was not like I was over him just like that, out of the blue. It didn't work that way. But I was really hoping that my little plan would work out, I just had to go out with Riley couple times and he'd come to terms that it was over and just leave me alone. Then I'd be able to properly grieve and just freaking move on. It shouldn't be that hard, anyway, things had gotten better lately. I had gotten better.

Dad was still worried and even though Mom didn't say a thing I knew she had been, too. And yes, _had been_, because now she would instantly smile whenever she saw me on me the phone, or any other moment really. I was getting better, yes, but I still missed him. Well, not really, I had grasped the reality that our relationship had all been a lie, what I missed was the routine-like thing we had. Like right now, every time he knew I was out with my friend he'd text something _really_ stupid he'd look up on the internet.

_Did you know lobsters' blood is transparent? _

Or dinner with his family. Carlisle and Esme were more than just my boyfriend's parents, there were like really close uncle and aunt. I mean, I had known them pretty much half of my life and now I didn't even see them anymore. I did talk to Esme briefly the other day when Mom sent me to the grocery store to pick up something for her; we exchanged pleasantries but when she asked why I hadn't stopped by the house for a while I shrugged and rushed to the exit, claiming Mom really needed that garlic.

That conversation was enough for me to realize that Esme didn't know anything, which obviously meant Carlisle didn't either. That got me wondering why I hadn't seen Esme at my house at all. She used to be there all the time hanging out with Mom, or they'd be at Esme's house.

"_No idea_." He laughed and put an arm around my shoulders before peeking down to see the screen of my phone, I moved it so he couldn't see. I was just texting with Rose –it was easier this way- about nothing at all but I knew it upset him when someone hide anything from him.

"Hey, what are you hiding?"

"Nothing." I sang and he reached for my phone, holding it above his head when he caught it.

"_Riley_!" He wasn't looking at it, just raising an eyebrow at me instead.

"What were you hiding?"

"Nothing!"

"Come on, Cutie, just tell me and I'll give it back."

"It was nothing!"

"_Okay_. You asked for it." He started reading aloud the last text –something about Emmett and his car- and I crossed my arms, pouting and looking to the front where Alice was watching us with an amused expression. She shook her head and went back to the rack of clothes. Riley stopped reading out loud, just started doing something with it before giving it back.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"Riley," I said in warning.

"I swear, nothing. Just went through the pictures."

"Whatever. Alice, can we just leave?" She mumbled something, picking something and throwing it at my face.

"Try that on."

"Alice," I whined. I already had like three bags filled with shoes and then another five full of clothes and, honestly, that was the reason I called Riley early.

Riley leaned over and whispered discreetly against my hair. "Just try it, B, or else she'll get at least five more." I smiled and nodded, grabbing the attire before standing up. I put it on, liked it, but Alice said it was not my color. I rolled my eyes before going back to my seat beside Riley as Alice kept looking through racks with a look of utter concentration until her phone beeped and her eyes grew as wide as saucers before declaring we had to leave.

* * *

**EPOV**

I lifted the bottle to my lips and took another swig before resting my head against the couch. I closed my eyes and lifted my ankle up to my knee, getting comfortable but it didn't last long, I caught the smell of hairspray and I cringed. I hated that my brain had that smell associated with Tanya.

"Eddie, are you still mad?" _Oh, God_. I opened my eyes and stood up, leaving the bottle on the table and walked to the front yard. I spotted Jasper and Emmett leaning against Em's car and I made my way to them. I really didn't need to be seen by anyone with Tanya, especially after what Bella saw the other day. Firstly, it was the girls' locker room, secondly, it was Tanya. Bella was completely ignoring me –_good to know we are back to that_- and I hadn't been able to explain what I had been talking to her about. She provoked me, acting as if she was worried about me and _trying_ to find faults in Bella. At first I ignored her like she deserved but then she just freaking sat beside me and started talking shit about Bella and how she must have never cared about me if she had move on already. So, I reacted like I probably shouldn't have, I glared at her and she kissed my cheek and left. I followed right after her and started to tell her how she couldn't touch me ever again and that she didn't have any right to talk about Bella when I saw her walking out of the locker room, few feet from where I was standing.

I nodded at them as I grew closer and jumped to sit on the hood when I reached them. They were talking about something team-related so I just snatched the can from Jasper's hand and leaned back on one of my hands taking a swig and finishing the can. An idle though crossed my mind as I threw it to the grass; Mom was giving me worried glances and had called me on being drunk a couple times. In fact, she was wary to let me go out tonight so I promised her I wouldn't drink. I obviously broke that promise already but I could at least not get drunk and blame the smell of alcohol on merely being here.

"Bella's talked to you?" I looked to Emmett and raised my eyebrow.

"About?"

"I convinced her to talk to you, she hasn't, has she?"

"No," I said slowly. "When?"

"Last week." He shrugged. I groaned and threw my head back. She was going to talk to me before she saw me with Tanya. _Fucking great_.

"So, she's still seeing that guy, huh?" Jasper spoke, clouds of smoke coming out of his mouth.

"No." I said, waving my hand in front of me.

"No?" Emmett asked this time.

"_No_. She told me she'd stop seeing him."

"Um… Are you sure?" I looked at Emmett and followed his gaze with mine. Bella.

_And Riley._

My eyes narrowed as I saw him opening the door for her and offering his hand for her to come out. My teeth clenched when she actually took his hand and smiled up at him, I could have sworn a vein snapped somewhere inside me because my eyes turned red when he put an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. Someone stopped them from going into the house and as Bella greeted that person he stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Man, what was that?" Jasper laughed and my eyes snapped to him.

"_What_?"

"You just growled, Edward. _Growled_." I shook my head and looked back to where Bella had been standing but she wasn't there anymore. I jumped down and started walking to the house. "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere." _Fuck_. If she could be with him then I could follow her around. I stopped myself when I realized how pathetic it sounded and walked back to merely lean on the car. "Nowhere." I repeated, running a hand through my hair.

"That's why you don't fall in love." Jasper threw the cigarette to the floor and stepped on it. "You get hurt."

"No, Jasper." Emmett intervened, "That's why you don't fuck things up."

"Come on, Em! She's doing it on purpose."

"What is she doing on purpose?" I asked, looking at Jasper.

"She is not." Jasper ignored me and I looked back at Emmett.

"Oh, really? Because-" He shut up and started jogging to the house, where Alice was talking to someone.

"What was that?" I asked, looking at Jasper as he joined the conversation, whispering something into someone's ear causing the girl to giggle.

Emmett shook his head. "Jasper asked Alice out and she just laughed."

"But… Halloween."

"Yeah, I don't really know what's going on." He looked back at me. "Edward, what are you going to do?" I shrugged, toeing the grass.

"I have no idea, Em." He nodded and crushed the cup he was holding.

"I'm heading in."

"I'll go with you." I felt like a chic because I didn't want to go in alone, even though I had been here for almost an hour already. I guess it was her and her being here with 'Frat- Boy' that was making me an idiot.

* * *

"I just don't get it."

"Who does she think she is?"

"She never danced with me."

"I'm killing Tyler."

"Oh, great! Now he's whispering in her ear."

"Can you believe she laughed?"

"What the fuck is she doing?" I felt a hand on my shoulder and apparently Jasper did so because he turned his head at the same time I did.

Emmett leaned down so his head was between Jasper and mine's "You, my friends, are pathetic." Emmett shook his head and patted our shoulders before straightening up.

"Huh?" We both said.

"You've been talking, huh?" He asked smiling. We nodded. "About?"

"Bella."

"Alice." Our heads turned to each other as Emmett laughed.

"Pathetic, as I said." He said, walking away. I crossed my arms and reached for my bottle.

"What's going on between you and Alice?" I asked.

"Nothing, she's a bitch." He scowled.

"I bet you can't get her to go out with you."

"How much, Cullen?" He turned to face me, his eyes bright with the challenge.

"I don't know, twenty?" I shrugged.

"Fifty?"

"Deal." We shook hands and he stood up. "She has to be _sober_, Jasper."

"_Okay_." He stood up, rubbed his palms on his thighs and took a step before sitting back down. "I'll give you an advice."

"Okay…"

"Keep your eye on Bella, Edward. She's so faking this shit." I looked at him with my eyebrows raised. "Either that or she's really obsessed with you." He stood again but I stopped him.

"Why do you say that?" He sat next to me again.

"How did they meet?"

"I don't know, Jasper. Alice, I guess."

"Yeah, he's her best friend's older brother. _How convenient_. Besides the guy is pretty much you, couple years older."

"_Whoa_! I'm nothing like him."

"Of course you are. I mean, there are differences but not that major, you know? Your hair color is really similar, your height is pretty much the same, eye color I have no idea but I bet they are similar, both played football… Edward either she's trying to make you jealous or she's really obsessed with how you look." He stood up and left, probably to chase Alice as I thought that maybe, just maybe…

_He is right._

* * *

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs**


	18. Chapter 18

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter18**

**How could you know****  
That behind my eyes a sad girl cried?  
And how could you know  
That I hurt so much inside?  
And how could you know  
That I'm not the average girl?  
I'm carrying the weight of the world**

**So can you get me outta here?**

**Take me away  
We'll jump in the car  
Drive 'til the gas runs out and then walk so far  
That we can't  
See this place anymore  
Take a day off  
Give it a rest  
So I can forget about this mess  
If I lighten up a little bit,  
Then I will be  
Over It**

**Over It****- ****Anneliese Van Der Pol**

**EPOV**

"Hey, Mom." I half-yawned as I spotted her having breakfast. She nodded and lifted the newspaper in front of her face. "So…" I scratched my head. "What's for breakfast?" Without looking at me she pointed to a cabinet above my head, I frowned, reaching to open it. Cereal boxes. Oh, great. The one day I want to have breakfast she doesn't make me anything. I picked one box randomly and went to the fridge, taking out the milk as I went to pick a bowl I noticed that there were dishes on the sink so I turned to where my mom was sitting. There was actual breakfast in front of her. Okay, fine, she was mad. I sat down with my bowl of cereal in front of her. "Mom?" She hummed, not lowering the paper. "Um, did I do something?" She huffed, folded the paper and stood up. I looked at her as she left the kitchen. Okay. I finished off my bowl and headed back up to my room, I had only come out of bed because I was hungry.

"Why are you half-naked? It's over noon." Dad said from the top of the stairs.

"I'm just shirtless, Dad." I said as I walked past him and into my room. _What was the problem with these people? _I threw myself on the bed, face down, and reached blindly for my phone, opening the Facebook application, as it had become my latest obsession. Well, more like Bella's Facebook. However I didn't get that far because there, right at the top of my newsfeed was something that woke me up completely.

_Edward Cullen and Bella Swan had ended their relationship._

"_What_?" I jumped out of the bed, dropping the phone on the middle of it. Worst of all was that I could still distinguish the little pinkish broken heart that was next to… _that_. I mean, yeah, we hadn't been together for almost two months but… _fuck_. Mom stormed in, looking alarmed before she realized I was just being weird.

"What is wrong?" I shook my head, still staring at my phone. "Okay." She walked further into the room and dropped three boxes on my bed. "Bella stopped by when you were sleeping and dropped this for you." My eyes widened and I looked at her. "I haven't seen what's inside, Edward. Don't worry." I nodded and she left. I hurried to the top box and opened it, inside was a black, plastic bag. I took it off the box and placed it on my desk. I stuck my hand into it and the first thing I came up with was the stuffed animal I gave her for her birthday. I frowned and pulled it out, leaving it on my desk chair, next was the heels I replaced when she sprained her ankle. I kind of freaked out and started opening the rest two boxes pulling everything out and on top of my bed. CDs, stuffed animals, books, necklaces, bracelets, some of my jackets, every fucking thing I have ever given her, even the fucking case I bought for her phone when I broke the one she already had. As if that wasn't enough there were also things that I guess were somehow linked with me. Movie tickets, some napkins, cards that were attached to the flowers I had ever sent her…

_What the fuck?_

_Why the fuck was she doing this?_

I started patting my bed, searching for my phone; I was so decided to call her and asked her what the fuck this meant but a voice broke off into my little bottle.

"Edward, I'll wait for you in my office."

"Why?" I yelled back to Carlisle.

"We need to talk about last night, Edward."

_What the fuck happened last night?_

* * *

**BPOV**

I bobbed my head at the rhythm of Lilly Allen's masterpiece. I jumped on my bed, causing the box to bounce and one to even fell down as I sang/yelled right to the picture I still had taped to my mirror.

"_Fuck you, fuck you very, very much  
'Cause we hate what you do  
And we hate your whole crew  
So please don't stay in touch._"

I wasn't even paying attention to the rest of the song, it was just that part that somehow made me feel better.

_Well, yeah… Fuck him._

_Fuck him and his stupid whore._

There was just something about Lilly Allen's song that made me feel better. I had her songs on replay as I cleaned my room off of everything that had anything to do with him. I picked up the box that fell down before going to the mirror and taking the picture off of it, however, in its reflection I saw the portrait beside my bed. I threw the mirror's picture on the top box and went to the portrait; I took off my headphones and merely turned it around. Boxes in hand I went downstairs.

"Dad, open the door, please?" I yelled to him as I walked to the front door.

"What's that Princess?" He asked as he followed me to my car.

"Nothing." I huffed as I threw them to the floor to open the door.

"Okay, you going out?" I started putting them in a pile on the seat beside mine's.

"Yup. I'll be back for dinner." I said as I walked to the other side, putting my sunglasses on. I drove to the Cullen's and knocked before getting the boxes out of the car. "Hey, Esme."

"Hi, Sweetie. Edward is still asleep." She said, looking to the stairs, where Carlisle was coming down.

"Bella, long time, no see." He stood behind Esme and I just shrugged.

"I was just here to drop something for Edward." I pointed to my car and Carlisle offered to help, refusing to let me carry them by myself. Esme and I stood by the door.

"I haven't seen you much, lately."

"Yeah," I tucked my hands in the pockets of my cut-offs and bit the side of my lips, shrugging. "I don't think I'll be around much anymore." She tilted her head to the side, confused as Carlisle reappeared. "Carlisle, Esme, nice to see you." I jogged to my car and drove away.

I took my phone from the pocket of my plaid flannel shirt and started dialing. "What are you doing up so early, Cutie?"

"It's almost noon, Riley."

"Yeah… _Early._"

"Come on, you said we'd spent today together!"

"You okay?"

"Sure. Perfect."

"Great. I was going to stop by your house later to check on you." I turned off the ignition and stepped out of the car, standing between the door and my seat, with my knee propped up on it.

"Come down, Riley. I'm parked on your driveway."

"I'll be down in five." He yawned and I chuckled before hanging up. As soon as he was close enough I threw my keys at him, they hit him on his chest and he shook his head as he bent over to pick them up.

"You're driving!" I said as I walked to the passenger side.

"Really, what's wrong with you, Bella?" He asked as he turned on the ignition. "Coffee overdose or something?"

"Nope."

"Okay, whatever. Where to?"

"Dunno. Let's do something fun." I said, my gaze fixated on my iPod.

"Really helpful, Bella. Really helpful."

I left the iPod and pulled out my phone. "Give me your phone."

"What?"

"Or turn it off. You have an addiction to that lately."

"I don't." I said, looking down to it. I should have expected what he did next, but I didn't and he took it from my hand, pocketing it. I opened my mouth to tell him to give it back but he only turned the volume higher.

We ended up going to the beach even if it was not the most ideal weather to do so. We were sitting on the sand, he was sipping on a beer form the six-pack he had bought on our way here and I was deleting stuff from my phone. After last night I had decided I would just give it all up, hence the boxes and me getting rid of everything that was somehow related to him. Out of sight, out of mind, right? "Hey,"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?" I rolled my eyes.

"Yes. I already told you."

"Yeah, but-"

"Let's forget about last night, okay?" I snapped.

"_But_-"

"Riley, I mean it. I'm fine."

"Okay. I don't think you really, really are but okay."

"_Okay_." I shook my head and put my headphones on, Riley tugged on them before I could even take my iPod from my pocket. "What?" I asked, starting to get irritated.

"I broke up with my girlfriend."

"What?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah," He shrugged and took another swig of his beer. "Well, she broke up with me but yeah." He chuckled humorlessly. "Alice will be _thrilled_."

"Why?" I asked, ignoring the comment about Alice because it'd most likely be true.

"She says I spend way too much time here." He shrugged.

I bit my lip. "Sorry."

"No, no, no." He shook his head. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to. Besides I had already decided I'd come more often when Alice moved back. I mean, she's going to college next year and I've barely spent time with her since she moved with Dad." He turned to face me. "Do you know where she's planning on going?"

"Um, I don't remember the name but it's in New York." He nodded.

"Oh, you?"

I sighed and shrugged. "I don't know I had thought on Miami but…" I shrugged again.

"Edward's going to Miami?"

"Yeah. I don't know. I've been thinking Boston."

"Harvard?" He asked with a smile and I blushed.

"Are you crazy?" I laughed.

"You _do_ look like belonging there."

"Jerk." I said, hitting his arm softly.

"I meant it as a compliment, Cutie. No need for aggression."

"Shut up." I shook my head, turning serious. "What are you doing here, Riley?"

"You dragged me out of bed."

"No," I chuckled. "I mean, here, Forks. If that's the issue you maybe should I dunno, come less?"

He shook his head. "I like being here. I like hanging out with you, and Alice. Besides I really think that if it hadn't been about this it would have been about some other thing."

"Rough patch, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess. Is like, I've been with her for a while. I don't know, I don't even feel the same anymore. Is like… I don't know. Some things are just not meant to be." He shrugged and I nodded.

"Yeah. I _know_."

He stood up. "I'm hungry, let's go." He stretched his hand to help me stand up and I took it. Once up a breeze flew by us and I trembled.

"Ugh, it's getting cold." I instantly regretted wearing shorts. Riley pulled his hoodie over his head and handed it to me. "Thanks." My voice came out muffled by the fabric as I put it on. He chuckled and I glared at him. "Shut up." Obviously, the hoodie had to be bigger than mine are, _obviously_, but his was ridiculous. As we walked to my car one side of the neck kept falling over my shoulder and it was really hard to tell if I was wearing something underneath.

"You look cute." He said, putting his arm around my shoulders. After arguing on what to eat and me winning with pizza the ride was silent other than when he told me to leave a song on before I could change it. He stopped by the entrance and told me to go ahead as he parked the car. I walked right to the counter to order, I was leaning on it when I felt a tug on my hair.

"Don't do that, Riley." I said as I scanned the menu.

"I'm sorry to disappoint, Bells. But it's just me." I turned and saw Emmet standing behind me.

"Hey, Em. What's up?"

He shrugged. "Nothing, I saw you over here and I thought I'd say hi. So, hi." I chuckled.

"Hi, Emmett. Rose is here, too?"

"Nah, she already left."

"Oh, so you're a-" I said, scanning the room until my eyes locked on green ones. I look away just as fast. Emmett chuckled, shaking his head. Riley walked in and nodded at Emmett in greeting while wrapping an arm around my waist.

He kissed my temple and handed me my phone. "_Baby_."

Stop.

Rewind.

_What_?

* * *

**Short, but _much _earlier than usual. (I _should _be studying). **

**You must be wondering what actually happened between the end of last chapter and the beginning of this. Next chapter you'll know. (: **

******Oh, by the way, earlier today I was wondering what the whole fuzz about Polyvore was and well, I kinda like it. I'm joggling with the idea of doing one for every chapter. Tell me what you think about it. For now, there's one for this chapter, the link is on my profile (I _love _Riley's hoodie).**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 19**

**Clouds of sulfur in the air**  
** Bombs are falling everywhere**  
** It's heartbreak warfare**  
** Once you want it to begin,**  
** No one really ever wins**  
** In heartbreak warfare**

** If you want more love,**  
** why don't you say so?**  
** If you want more love,**  
** why don't you say so?**

** Drop his name**  
** Push it in and twist the knife again**  
** Watch my face**  
** As I pretend to feel no pain**

** Clouds of sulfur in the air**  
** Bombs are falling everywhere**  
** It's heartbreak warfare**  
** Once you want it to begin,**  
** No one really ever wins**  
** In heartbreak warfare.**

** If you want more love,**  
** why don't you say so?**  
** If you want more love,**  
** why don't you say so?**

** Just say so...**

** How come the only way to know how high you get me**  
** is to see how far I fall**  
** God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me**  
** but I can't break through at all**

**Heartbreak Warfare - John Mayer**

**EPOV**

_God, I am too old for this_.

"You act like a child, Edward!" _Ah, apparently not_. I mean, this whole thing is about me supposedly getting home drunk –which I don't remember- so, how can it be considered a thing a child would do. _Sorry, just saying_. "You are not even listening, are you?" Shouldn't I have at least a mild headache or something? I really don't remember a thing. Yes, I drank but I don't usually get like this –whatever _'this'_ means because, again, I have no idea what the hell happened last night- oh shit, I think Carlisle asked something. Nod or shake my head? I looked up at him, thinking which one to choose. I hadn't been really listening. I nodded, looking down.

"Sorry, Dad." And I only say it because I am sorry I am not listening. But, I never used to so I don't know why I feel like apologizing. Yes, it's been a while since the last time something even remotely alike happened so I guess I must be growing up.

_Ha, ha. You don't mean it, do you?_ My conscience mocks me and I scowl to the carpet. _Oh shit, you do._

He sat on the edge of his desk and sighed, honestly, I liked it better when it was just looks he gave me, or barely there mannerisms. "Leave, Edward. Just leave." He knew I was not listening. What did he expect? I'm still me. Even my conscience thinks so.

I stood up and left, heading to my bedroom. As soon as I opened the door I felt the urge to punch something, hard, at the sight of the boxes on my bed and all of its previous contents scattered all over my desk, bed and floor. I kicked the edge of the bed without thinking and then started cursing because it hurt. I was such a mess. As I was jumping on one leg, holding my other foot I saw something between the boxes on my bed and frowned as I saw a shoe box, I hadn't realized that was there before. I swatted the boxes down to the floor and sat on the edge of my bed, pulling the box on my lap, opening. And what I felt when I opened the bigger boxes came right back. Increased tenfold. The box was filled with pictures, and by filled I mean that one more wouldn't fit. I spent the next couple hours going through them, feeling more and more stupid with every passing second, but as I reached the end of the box I saw a stack of pictures held together with a rubber band that made me smile. There were like fifty Polaroids. The first Christmas we spent together as a couple I got her one of those cameras because she had mentioned she loved them and well, we just started playing with it until we got otherwise occupied and it fell down and broke. Before putting the rubber band around them again, I picked my favorite and put it in my wallet.

I didn't necessarily felt like picking everything up but I knew if I didn't my mom would come up and ask why I had all this stuff and I didn't necessarily wanted to tell her that Bella and I weren't together again. I didn't even know why I was hiding it anymore; I guess I didn't want them to tell me how I managed to fuck this up, too. After I had picked everything up I walked to my desk and moved the bear to sit on its chair, reaching for my phone. I dialed Bella's number plenty of times but she never answered, then I tried with Jasper, because I slightly remembered being with him last night but he didn't answer either. By the time I called Emmett I was more than upset, I just needed to freaking know what the fuck had happened that was worse than me cheating on Bella for her to send me all of the stuff my room had been covered in, when he picked up I didn't even say hi, I just asked what the hell had happened last night and when he finally realized I really had no idea he told me to go to the pizza place, that he didn't had much battery left. I looked out of the window to see if my parents were home and when I saw the car wasn't there I went to shower and dress to go out.

Once in the pizza place, I ran my hand through my hair as I looked around for Emmett, I almost went back out when I noticed he was with Rosalie but my need to know overpowered my dislike towards Rosalie. I slid in the booth they were and Rosalie's eyes immediately darted to the restroom.

"Hey," I said, looking curiously at Rosalie as she kept staring towards the restroom.

"Hi." Emmett said, taking a bite from his food. "So…"

"What happened last night?" I blurted out and then I felt someone sliding in next to me.

"Eddie!" Tanya screeched, throwing her arms around my neck. My eyes widened and I turned to Emmett.

"_That_, happened last night." He said in a whisper, as if not to let Tanya listen.

* * *

"I never thought I'd say this but, I kinda like your girlfriend right now." I said, toying with the napkin holder. After an hour or so since Tanya made her appearance Rosalie finally convinced her to leave with her to do 'You know what' whatever the fuck that meant. Emmett nodded, flattening a napkin he had balled up earlier only to ball it up again. "What exactly happened last night?"

"You really don't remember?"

"No. I woke up today and Mom was mad at me, Dad wanted to talk to me and Bella sent me all… all these stuff." I mumble the last part, frowning.

"I told you I would drive you home. I told you not to do anything." He shook his head. I hated when this side of Emmett came out, he acted like an older brother or a laid back dad. "I don't know what you… _consumed _but you and Jasper disappeared for a while and when you guys came back you were like crazy."

"Okay…"

"Let's just say you are mean when you are high-slash-drunk." I cringed, not looking up. "You started yelling at Bella for a while about Riley and stuff but when she didn't got as upset as you expected; no, scratch that, when she didn't _let you know_ how upset she was, because she _was_, you pulled Tanya on the couch right across from where she was sitting and started making out with her." I dropped the salt shaker I had been playing with and looked up at him, fucking terrified. He nodded, looking down at me with sympathy I did not deserved. At all.

Right then the little bell over the door rang, indicating someone had come in, instinctively I looked up and only managed to felt thousands time worst. Bella walked in with a little smile on her face which made me smile a little because she was okay despite what happened last night but then when she reached the counter I frowned. She was wearing a hoodie way too big to be hers and even though she looked adorable and made me want to cuddle with her I knew it was a male hoodie. Emmett followed my eyes and stood up to talk to her, my eyes didn't left her and at some point she looked around, as if looking for someone but when her eyes met mine she looked away just as fast. Not long after Frat-Boy came in and I slid down my seat, crossing my arms over my chest, sulking in the most childish way. I had to look away when he kissed her temple.

"Do you wanna leave?" Emmett asked as he slid back in.

"No." I looked away from the window and risked a quick glance around. They were sitting across us, on the other side of the door, Frat-Boy was sitting so his back was to us while Bella was kind of facing us but throughout their dinner she didn't look this way, or any other way that wasn't her stupid college boy. He made her laugh constantly and when she wasn't laughing she was smiling.

"Edward, _really_. Let's leave." Emmett insisted after half an hour or so when my eye started twitching because he reached over and touched the tip of her nose.

"No." I repeated. Yes, it was fucking killing me and I'd rather be stabbed five times than be here seeing her like this with someone else but I was also trying to see if there was an even remote chance that what Jasper had said about her pretending to date him. That was the part of the night I still remembered. However, she kind of, sort of looked like she was into him. At some point Bella stood up and walked past us to go to the restroom, I presumed, so I pulled out my phone from my pocket to text her, assuming that if she was away from the stupid Frat-Boy she'd read it.

**_Can we talk? About last night. Please. I swear I can explain. –E_**

I didn't really expect her to reply so I was surprised when my phone went off as I rolled it from one side of the table to the other.

**Why are you texting my girlfriend, Cullen? –R **

I gripped my phone on my hand as I looked across the room at the back of his head. Asshole

"Edward-"

"No." I turned my eyes to him.

"I was going to ask what are you gonna do with Tanya."

I frowned. "Uh, dunno." I shrugged, already considering the idea of keeping her around in case what Jasper had said was true after all.

"Edward," Emmett said almost warningly. Bella walked past us right then and my eyes followed her. Look at me. Please. Look at me. "Edward!" Emmett snapped his fingers to call my attention, when I turned he raised his eyebrow and I sighed.

"Is just that Jazz said this thing and it-"

"Edward." He took a deep breath and looked at me as if I was stupid, which I was. "Didn't you learn anything last night?" I didn't answer because I thought it was a rhetorical question and I didn't have an answer that I thought correct but then he groaned and slapped his head to his forehead. "Don't listen to anything Jasper says! What are you gonna do? Pretend you want to be with Tanya? Not only you'd be leading her on but where the hell do you think that's gonna take ya', huh?"

"She's doing the same!" I hope so. I said turning on my defense mode.

"Edward. It doesn't work the same way."

I scoffed, "Why not? Of course it does!"

"No! You, dumbass! If she dates someone else you are jealous, angry, whatever. If you date someone else she is depressed, down, disheartened, miserable. God! How did you managed to keep her for so long, you are truly an idiot!" He stopped his… speech to take a sip of his coke as I slid down the seat, returning to my previous position.

"What's the deal with Rosalie, anyway?" I say, trying to turn it into a smart and badass comment but he only rolls his eyes.

"Daddy issues." She answers, his demeanor changing and I instantly regretted opening my mouth.

"Well, I have a theory that every girl has daddy issues." I say not looking at him because I don't want him to know I am trying to make him feel better.

"Yeah?" He asked, amused.

"Yeah. I mean, if a girl is completely happy at home with her dad why on Earth would she go through all the trouble dating implies?"

"Got a point there." I nodded and start folding a napkin into a plane. "Bella?"

"Ehh, not daddy issues per se, but she does think her father is not around enough." He nodded again and after I have an entire mini air force he clears his throat. "Coach wanted me to talk to you, ya' know?"

"No, I didn't."

"There's a game next Friday."

"Good." I knew this already.

"He wants you to play."

"Not gonna happen." I said, destroying one of the planes with my fist.

"I told him you'd say that. He told me to try." I nodded.

"You should at least go."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I'll go to see how you get beaten without me." He threw me a napkin and I laughed, attacking him with my planes.

* * *

**BPOV**

I jumped out of the car and stretched before moving my hands to the hem of the hoodie to take it off and give it back when my mom, for some reason, opened the door and joggled her way towards the car, seeing this, Riley got out, too. I narrowed my eyes and pursed my lips when I realized she was going to invite him for dinner. And she did, even though I said at least eight times that we had just eaten. However, it went quite well. I mean, yeah, Dad grunted his comments at first but then they started talking about business and politics while I looked at them because Dad did not do that. At all. With no one. Well, maybe Carlisle but they were like brothers or whatever so he didn't count.

When Riley started saying goodbye, Mom asked him to stay with us to play a game. Again, we did not do that, especially not Monopoly, and it showed when Mom gave up and stole the dices. She pretended they had bounced somewhere under the couches and we all went along with it. Then Dad and Riley started playing with cards a game I had no idea about and, oddly enough, Mom was sitting on the armrest of the couch Dad was sitting on, as I was sitting on the armrest of Riley's seat.

"Nice try." Dad said to Riley, standing up. "I'm heading to bed, nice seeing you, Riley." He patted his shoulder and walked upstairs. I elbowed him when Dad was out of earshot.

"What?" He asked.

"You let him win!" I accused, not completely sure but I did suspect he did because he still had this smug smile on his face.

"Shut up!" He said, looking at the stairs, as if Dad would come back down.

"Why did you do that?" Mom chuckled and I looked at her, having forgotten she was still here, picking up the game. "Leave it, Mom. I'll pick it up later." She nodded and said goodbye before walking upstairs, too. "I guess you have to leave, huh?" I said, looking back at him. He stretched his arm and looked at his watch –thing I considered extremely attractive since no one I knew wore watches, other than adults- and frowned.

"Yeah, it's kinda late." _Kinda? It was minutes to midnight_.

"Okay, let's go. I'll walk you out." He stood up and stretched his arms over his head, yawning, which made me chuckle.

"What are you laughing about?" He asked, putting his arm around my shoulders as we walked to the door.

"You."

"What do you want from me? I'm tired!" He laughed, after he yawned again.

"Are you sure you're okay to drive?" I asked, concerned.

"Absolutely." He said already out of the door as I stood against the doorframe. "Come here." He said, before tugging on my hands and pulling me into a hug. I stood on my tip toes and placed my arms around his neck.

"Thanks, Riley, for everything." I whispered. His hoodie, which I was still for some reason wearing, rode up and he placed his hands on my waist.

"You are very welcome, Cutie." I moved so I was far enough to see him and just like that something changed. He looked down to my lips and I _totally_ freaked out, muttering a 'Goodnight, drive safe' before hurrying into the house.

* * *

The next week was… normal. Mostly. Other than the shorts and awkward conversations with Riley it was pretty normal. Oh, and Edward and his new leech. Girlfriend, I mean. It was obscene to see them together. Not obscenely, _obscenely_ but it was just disgusting to see them together. She was always with him. All the freaking time.

Not that I cared.

Anyway, yeah, my week was pretty normal.

I wish.

Anyway, it was Friday now and there was this game at school so I had to be there with my fake smile plastered all over my fake expression. Yay me. I rolled my eyes at the thought. I was sitting in the locker room, fiddling with my phone as I heard the rest of the girls freaking out because they ran out of mascara. _Ridiculous_. So I decided to go out for a walk.

I guess that out of habit I walked behind the gym, I still had around fifteen minutes before the game started so I snatched my phone out of waist of my skirt, planning to call Riley and ask him if he was going to come this weekend, because even though i did not want to we kind of had to talk but as I round the corner, going through my contact list, I felt guilty. I mean, I am calling _Riley_ on what used to be _our_ –Edward and I's- spot before games. I bit my lip, still looking down to Riley's number on my phone, and didn't even have time to wonder why I felt guilty when I looked up and locked eyes with Edward. Eyes that were incredibly sad.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, and I hate how I sound like a total bitch. He was sitting on the ground against the wall, with one leg against his chest while the other is sprawled out in front of him.

"Sorry. I didn't realize I _couldn't_ be here." He rolled his eyes. "It's not like _everything_ belongs to you." He said, not looking at me.

I crossed my arms over my chest and switched my weight to my left foot. "_What_ is your problem?"

He looked up at me briefly before he shrugged. "I honestly don't know."

I notice what he's wearing and I shift again. "What are you doing here?" I ask much softer.

"I don't know, either."

"No. I meant what are you doing here, like that?" I motioned to his clothes and he looks down at himself, confused. "Shouldn't you be in your uniform?" I shrugged.

He looks up, frowning. "Are you serious?" I nodded, shrugging. "I quit the team months ago." He said it in a way he makes me feel I _should _know this.

"_Sorry_, I didn't know."

"Whatever." He looked down again. "I guess I didn't tell you."

"But… why?" Even after so many years I still hadn't understood the game but I had been told plenty of time that he was pretty good.

"You really want to know?" He looked up at me. His eyes were not less sad but they were more… alive, if that even makes sense. "_Really_, Bella?"

"Ye-"I started to say but my phone started ringing. _His_ ringtone. _Our_ song. "Why are you calling me?" _What the-_

"I'm not." He said, raising his hands as if to show me he wasn't holding his phone. Riley. _I can't believe him_. I shook my head and picked it up, turning so my back was to Edward.

"Hey,"

"Hey, Cutie. Where are you?"

"Um, at school."

"Oh, I wanted to hang out or something."

"Tomorrow, Riley." Only after I had said it, I realized that maybe I shouldn't have said his name.

"Everything okay?"He noticed my distress, bigger than what had been usual this week, and I closed my eyes as I heard Edward mumbling something to himself. I turned and saw him standing up.

"Call you later." I hung up and Edward looked up at me.

"If it's because of me, don't bother, Bella. I'll just leave so you can talk with your _new_ boyfriend." He widened his eyes mockingly and started to walk away, shaking his head.

"Edward, I didn't set that ringtone." A part of me felt stupid because I _felt_ as if I should explain. I mean, it was a stupid ringtone, it was nothing compared to what he did to me.

He turned again, smirking. "Does it matter?"

"Edward-"

"It doesn't. You are with him and that's more than fine."

"Ed-"

" I'm with Tanya and that's fucking perfect." He raised his eyebrow. "Right, Baby?" And all guilt or whatever I was feeling vanished. Just like that.

"_Fucking perfect_."I agreed with that bitchy voice again and stormed past him, pushing my shoulder against his. I heard him call my name and I almost, _almost_, stopped. So, when I didn't he reached over and grabbed my wrist spinning me around. I don't know why that angered me so much but it did, and I suddenly was an inch away from his face. "Listen Edward, and listen well." I started, as I removed my hand from his grip. "Don't touch me. Not now, not ever."

"Or what?" He raised his eyebrow and because of the closeness I realized he had been drinking. He placed his hands on my shoulders and before I could protest he had pinned me against the wall. I pushed him away but all he did was move his hands and rested one on each side of my head. I moved my gaze to his chest and crossed my arms in front of me.

"Edward, move."

"What are you so afraid of, huh?" _Right now? You_. "That I am going to find out that you are not really with that guy?" Other than my eyes widening, I didn't acknowledge his comment. I closed my eyes briefly –_I knew it was stupid_- before looking up at him.

"Edward, _move_." I said with far more conviction that I knew I was capable of. I wasn't even faking it. I had never felt so… disgusted by anyone than I did in that moment. His eyes narrowed and suddenly his lips were on mine.

_What?_

"What the fuck!" I yelled, moving so I was behind him.

He turned to face me. "I'm sorry, I should-"

"What's wrong with you, Edward! You can't just do that! I have Riley, you know?"

"Are you sleeping with him?" He asked calmly, only managing to infuriate me further.

"Why on _Earth_ would you think it was okay to ask me that?"

"Are you?" I stared at him in silence because I just refused to answer that question. He stared right back and after a minute of silence his eyes hardened and he turned around. "Fuck!" He yelled as he punched the brick wall.

My eyes widened and I looked around, not knowing what to do. "Edward!" I can't help the feeling of concernment that washes over me as he grunts and cradles his fist in his other hand.

"Leave, Bella." He said in a monotone voice as he flexed his fingers, hissing.

"I can't believe you, Edward!" I yelled as I raised my hand to my forehead . "I just _can't_!"

"You can't believe me?" He said calmly, turning around, with his eyes narrowed. "_You_ can't believe _me_?" His tone rising. "It took me two fucking years to get in your pants!" My arms went immediately around myself in an attempt to feel less hurt at his crass words.

"Fuck Edward! Maybe if you hadn't been so busy in _Tanya's_ pants…" I trailed off, hugging myself tighter as I felt tears threatening to make an appearance. His face softened and he took a step closer. "No!" I said, taking a step back. "Don't get close to me." His face morphed into the epitome of pain and it makes me feel bad for a second. Just a second. "God, I hate you! I hate you so fuck-" I couldn't continue as a sob escaped me and tears finally start their descent down my cheek. In an attempt to stop them, I pressed the palms of my hands against my eyes. A _futile_ attempt. "I can't believe I am still crying over this!" I laugh humorlessly at myself, at how truly and embarrassingly pathetic I am as I rubbed my hand against my eyes before turning to walk away.

"Bella," Edward said softly as I walk beside him. "Bella" He said louder when I didn't stop. "Baby!" He yelled this time and I stopped, turning around ready to bite his head off for calling me that but the words left my mouth in the form of a stupid, pathetic and strangled sob as my eyes met his. What was sadness when I had first saw him tonight had turned into pure devastation. His face was flushed and the brim of his eyes red. "Give me another chance." He said softly but I still, somehow, heard him.

I looked down and just as softly I said "I can't."

"Why not? I _need_ you, Baby." My eyes closed on their own accord.

"Don't call me that." I heard steps until he was standing right beside me.

He kissed my temple and I tightened my arms around me trying not to focus or even _think_, in the way his lips feel against me or how he nudged my fist open until he was able to deposit something on it, closing it again with his own hand. "We were perfect then." He said, squeezing my hand before letting go. And I kind of know what is inside my hand "We could go right back to it if you'd only let me." I supposed I should feel something with his words, and I do, but what his actions caused in me is probably the total opposite of what I should have felt . He kissed me again and I opened my eyes and fist to see a picture of us. In it, he is laying down on my bed with his arms outstretched in front of him, clearly taking the picture, a huge smile on his face as I lay in top of him with my arms around his neck and my lips against his cheek.

Any other time I would have smiled at this. Any _other_ time.

I turned around and yelled at his retreating form. "What am I supposed to do with this?" I moved the picture in front of my face, as if to make a point.

He turned around, his hands on his pockets. "Not-"

"Because there's a reason I sent you this, Edward! This and all that crap! I. Don't. Want. It." I said the last part through clenched teeth. Well aware that I would regret it later, I lifted the picture in front of my face and ripped it in two; I let the two halves fall to the ground and stepped on them before storming away.

* * *

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs**


	20. Chapter 20

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 20**

**Let's rearrange****  
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage  
Just say that we agree and then never change  
Soften a bit until we all just get along  
But that's disregard  
Find another friend and you discard  
As you lose the argument in a cable car  
Hanging above as the canyon comes between**

**Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind**

**Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind**

**And suddenly I become a part of your past  
I'm becoming the part that don't last  
I'm losing you and its effortless  
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground**

**Over My Head – The Fray**

**BPOV**

"Hey! I've been looking for you!" Rose said as I walked past her, or at least tried to. "They sent me to look for you. We gotta-"

"No, Rose. I'm not cheering today." I didn't stop walking, hoping she would just let me leave, no such luck, she kept walking after me.

"But you -" She said. I stopped abruptly causing her to stumble. "What happened to you, Bella?" She asked alarmed. I bet I looked like a clown or something just as ridiculous.

"I'm fine. I just want to go home." I shrugged off her hands, that she had placed over my shoulders, in what I assume was supposed to be a comforting gesture. Not working, Rose.

She sighed. "Eh, okay. I'll just tell them you… that I didn't find you. Call me, okay?" I nodded, with no intention of following through my agreement to call her but realizing it was the only thing I could do so she'd let me leave. I was so pissed. So, so, so, so pissed and I didn't even know whether it was at myself for being such an idiot or Edward for doing what he did or Riley for messing with my damned phone or Tanya for simply being a bitch or…

"Bells?" Oh, just great. Another person I could be pissed off at. I stopped walking mid-mental-rant only to glare up at him and rolled my eyes, trying to convey that it was not the right moment, before starting to walk again. "You've been crying, B. What happened?" What is it with people that they can't just take a hint. It was obvious I didn't want to talk to anybody otherwise I wouldn't be going to my car to drive home when I should be inside.

"This is all your fault, Felix!" I turned to face him because, yes, I was pissed at him , too.

"What?" He half-laughed. "You kidding me, right? I just got here, Bella!"

"If you had just told me, Felix! You could have talked to me! Dammit! You were supposed to be my best friend!" My voice had gotten considerably lower as I talked. "I am so tired of this."

He sighed "Is this about Edward?" I nodded wordlessly as I tried to force myself to stop crying. Felix tugged on my elbow and I tried, uselessly, to stop him from pulling me into a hug but as I had told him already, I was tired of feeling so dam insecure again, but most of all, I was _sick and tired_ of Edward having that kind of power over me, that I had given him that power because I had trusted him with my heart and all he had done was throw that love and trust right at my face as if it was worth nothing. And as if that wasn't enough, he now decides that he actually wants me, if that's even true because with him I could never know for sure again.

If he would just leave me alone it would be so damn easier to convince myself that it was _him_ the one that was not worth my time, or anything for that matter, but no, he couldn't even give me that. After I had given him two, two fucking years of my life he couldn't give me a couple months for me to properly get over him.

"Felix let me talk to her." I fisted my hands on Felix's shirt as soon as Edward started talking, to let him know that he couldn't leave me with him.

"Sorry, Edward. I can't do that." He answered, rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"Five minutes, man. Leave me alone with her five minutes."

"Bells?" Felix asked me and I shook my head furiously against his chest.

"Bella please, hear me out. I just need to tell you _two_ things." For the next few minutes my muffled sniffs were the only thing that was heard and then Edward sighed. "Okay, fine. I don't care; I don't give a fuck if Felix hears." Before he could say anything else I had already started running to my car.

* * *

**EPOV**

I considered briefly whether to follow her or not and decided that I'd just let her leave. It was clear she didn't want me anywhere near her. I groaned and gripped the ends of my hair with both hands, tugging on them harshly, before I leaned back on the hood on a car and slid down it and onto the ground. I bent my knees, lifting them slightly and resting my head on top of them.

I had waited enough so that Bella would have reached the field before I walked out and started making my way to my car to just go home –I had been trying to not get in much trouble- but then I saw her and it was painfully obvious that she was crying by the way I could see her shoulders slightly trembling and Felix holding her, so I had the best idea better, and tried to go and tried to make it better because apparently I hadn't grasped yet the fact that it was me that put Bella like that and my mere presence would just make things worse. But right then all I could think was that if I hadn't drank earlier, at Jasper's, I wouldn't have snapped at her like I did. So I had to try and make it better. Worst decision of my night. But Felix would leave and Bella didn't even wanted him to. I mean, fuck, they weren't even talking and here she was holding onto him as if he was his lifeline. I didn't even find it in myself to feel jealous at that.

I was honestly just going to tell her two things. I was going to tell her that it was cool, that I would leave her alone for good and that Tanya and I didn't have something serious. Hell, we didn't have anything. I just let her hang around me. She'd find me in the hallways, she'd cling to my arm, and she'd drop her books onto my hands. I barely even talked to her and had opted for leaving my phone turned off so I didn't have to answer her calls, and it was all for nothing because Bella didn't even noticed, and if she did, she just didn't care. Simple as that.

"Edward?"

"Go away, Felix." I mumbled against my leg.

"No man, you 're my friend-" I had to stop myself from scoffing, even though in a way he was still my friend . "What is going on with you?"

I laughed darkly. "What is going with me? Well, Felix, the girl I love doesn't want to see me, that same girl hates me and got herself a new boyfriend. I miss her like fucking crazy and I can't seem to do anything right when it comes to her. There are three fucking boxes on my closet that haunt me and won't even let me sleep in my fucking room. My grandfather doesn't talk to me and neither do my parents. I don't know, Felix, what do you think is going on with me?" I moved my arm and placed it between my knees and head to discreetly dry the few tears that had fallen out and stop more from doing the same. I hated being this vulnerable and more importantly, I hated that Felix could benefit from my disgrace if he so wanted; that if the thing with Frat-Boy was truly a sham or didn't work out.

"You really fell for her, huh?"

"Yes."

"I don't know what to say to you, man." I shrugged; I didn't really care what he could say, fuck, I didn't even think I actually cared about how I felt anymore.

She didn't love me.

My time had come and gone.

And I just had to move on.

* * *

**BPOV**

"Hey, Bella. Alice is not home, she-" Ellen started, leaning against the door she was holding open.

"Oh, I know. Riley?" She nodded, smiling and waved me in.

"Sure, Sweetheart. He's up in his room." I smiled at her and tried very hard not to look as I was pissed off my mind, which I was, as I walked up the stairs.

I couldn't stand whatever the hell had been about to say so I had ran. I had had enough with all this bullshit. It was over and we both had to just fucking deal with it, whether we liked it or not. Originally, I had decided that I would go home and, once more, cry until I passed from exhaustion. But as I was driving towards my destination I remembered what had started the damn thing with Edward tonight so I turned around and drove to the other side of town.

So, here I was, storming into Riley's bedroom.

"Cutie!" He jumped off his bed where he had been watching TV and started walking towards me.

"What the hell does this mean?" I said, moving the hand I was holding my phone in, in front of me to stop him from getting so close and at the same time showing what I was talking about.

"Well," He said smiling, amused. "It means that a pretty damn smart guy-" He kept smiling as if this was funny at all. Which it obviously wasn't, unless I used that saying as a reference. If life's a joke I don't get it.

"Riley!"

"What?" He yelled back, surprised.

"Who gave you permission to mess with my phone?"

"Oh," His face fell and his hand went to the back of his neck. "Sorry?" I took a deep breath and, if possible, glared harder at him to show him his answer was good enough. "Part of the plan?" I groaned and rolled my eyes.

"How on Earth, erasing his number and everything related to him I had not already deleted is part of the plan?" Because, yes, he had done that. I checked my phone on my way here. "Oh, and setting his ringtone to yourself? Nice, Riley, real nice."

"You know what, Bella?" He yelled again, no longer in surprise. "I don't need this! You already freaked out on me because I called you 'Baby' last week, as if it is a fucking big deal! I, despite what you may think, have a life in Seattle! And I give that up every fucking weekend to come here and-"

"Why! Why do you do it? I have told you hundred times you don't need to help me with that shitty plan your sister came up with! Besides, what about that crap of you 'bonding with your sister before she goes off to college'?" I said, making quotation marks.

"Oh, for the love of- Are you fucking _blind_, Bella? I could count with half the fingers in my hand how many times Alice has joined our plans!"

"Then why?" I asked, no longer yelling. Kind of knowing already what he is going to say and _at the same time_, hoping and fearing I am right.

"Because I like you, Bella! _There_, I _said_ it. I like you probably more than I fucking should." I looked down, crossing my arms over my chest. We stayed silent for a while; he by his bed and I by his door. "Say something, Bella."

"I am sorry I yelled to you." I said lamely in a little voice.

"Listen ," He sighed . "I get it, you are still hung up on Edward and I live in Seattle while you live here but… I think you do but… Do you like me, Bella? Even a teeny tiny bit?" I nodded because, well, because the truth was that I did. I liked being with him, and how he made me laugh or simply smile, how he always knew the right thing to say or do. He made me feel safe and secure and that maybe, just maybe, it was not my fault that Edward had cheated on me. It was new and refreshing. It was like entering into a cooled up room after being all day out under the sun. But all that didn't necessarily mean that it was a good thing and that freaked me out.

"I am… I am just gonna go." I turned to the door but his voice stopped me.

"Don't shut down on me, Bella. It's okay if you don't have feelings for me. I just don't want to stop seeing you…"

"You won't."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

* * *

**Extremely short. I know. But I am going out of town tonight and I don't know when I'll be able to post again so I wanted to leave one more chapter. I'll be writing, though. So when i get back you'll have post more often than usual for a while. I know some of you are not going to like the chapter much because you don't like Riley much but, that's how I had it planned so... There it is.**

**Btw... Guys! 107 reviews! Thanks so much! With this chapter we reached the 100k word. Wow. Thanks guys, really. **

**See you soon. (Maybe?)**

**Ghs.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.

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**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 21**

**Cause I still don't know how to act**

**Don't know what to say**

**Still wear the scars like it was yesterday**

**But you're long gone and moved on**

**Cause you're long gone**

**But I still don't know where to start, still finding my way**

**Still talk about you like it was yesterday**

**But you're long gone and moved on**

**But you're long gone, you moved on**

**So how'd you pick the pieces up yeah**

**I'm barely used to saying me instead of us**

**The elephant in the room keeps scaring off the guests**

**It gets under my skin to see you with him**

**And its not me that you're with**

**Oh from this moment on**

**I'm changing the way I feel yeah**

**From this moment on**

**It's time to get a real**

**Long Gone And Moved On– The Script**

**BPOV**

"And that's it?" Alice asked, sitting in front of me. She was staying over at my house and, in a very girlish way I must add, we were having a sleepover. I was fast-forwarding The Last Song to the part Liam Hemsworth appears shirtless –which is the sole reason I own the DVD because, Miley Cyrus? Not such a good actress on the big or otherwise sized screen- while Alice painted her toenails with a look of utter concentration and her tongue poking out of her mouth.

"Yup."

"And what are you going to tell him? Because I know he is expecting an answer or something other than 'I'm gonna go'."

"First of all, what did you expect me to say? Second of all, he does?"

She looked up at me and nodded seriously. "Yeah, we talked the other day."

"I don't really know, Alice. I mean, I just got out of this fucked up relationship and I can't honestly say I am over it. I don't know what to tell him, Al, I hate it that I've been avoiding him all week but I can't honestly bring myself to answer his calls."

"Come over sometime tomorrow, and then you guys can talk. I mean, if that's cool with your parents."

"Yeah, I guess I should do that and, no, I don't think they'll mind." It was Wednesday before Thanksgiving but the date had never meant much for my parents, I have no idea why, and if we celebrated it was because we usually had dinner with the Cullen's and I didn't see that happening this year, they had stopped hanging out so much lately. "So," I said, dragging out the word. "What's up with you? I haven't seen you much in the past couple weeks." By this point she was blushing profusely and I smiled mischievously. "Spill!" She screeched and hid her face in her hands. She pulled her legs up to her chest and crossed her arms over her knees, resting her chin atop them.

"I am so stupid, Bella."

"This is _so_ about a boy." I said, pulling a pillow onto my lap, being such a girly girl and loving every second of it. She nodded. "Who is it?"

She took her time before, very slowly, whispering. "Jasper." My smile disappeared. "I know! I know!" A look of utter sadness crossed her face and I couldn't help but feel bad for her so I reached over and squeezed her foot, which was the closer part of her I had. She sighed, "Is that, I _should_ know better, you know? But here I am nonetheless, falling for that son of a bitch." I smiled at how she worded it.

"You don't have to tell me but, _how_ did that happen?" She hid her face again.

"We hooked up the day of Emmett's party." She mumbled, and if it hadn't been for the fact I had muted the movie, I wouldn't have heard.

"Halloween?" She nodded.

"But then I realized how stupid I had been so I just ignored him afterwards, but he is always around. I don't even know how he does that! And he asked me out and I turned him down so he went onto full asshole mode for the next few days but the past couple weeks or so he's been like, _extra_ attentive, in a good and sweet and nice way, and I don't even look his way but he is everywhere!" She looked up smiling lightly and looking at me as if looking for some sort of approval. When I didn't answer she looked down again. "But I am mad at him right now," She said, somewhat petulantly. "I told him I'd go out with him if he stopped drinking but last week he not only drank but I found him snorting something, too." She scoffed and laughed darkly. "Yesterday he sent me flowers. Lilies, because they `remind him of me´."

"I, honestly, don't know what to tell you. I just… I know he doesn't do that kind of stuff for girls so _maybe_ he actually likes you but, don't expect him to change, Alice."

"I know."

"Boys suck, that's all I am saying, they just complicate our lives." I said, laying down and turning the volume up.

"Truer words have never been spoken, but, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"If you really like Riley you should give it a chance."

"I know." My eyes, for some reason, zeroed in the corner of my mirror that was tainted with the glue of scotch-tape and decided that I, not only knew I should, but I _would_.

* * *

I was tucking my blouse inside my skirt when Mom knocked my door and leaned against the doorframe. "Looking good, huh?" I glared at her through the mirror, knowing what she was implying. And yes, I put extra effort when I knew I'd be seeing Edward but I had already planned my outfit for the day before my parents told me that we were actually going to the Cullens for dinner, blowing up my plans.

"Well, yes, I do have plans, you know? Plans I intend to go through." I say, fastening my belt around my waist.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but you know we have Thanksgiving dinner with the Cullens every year."

"You could have still told me."

"Where are you even going that is so important?"

"Alice's." I mumbled, blushing, knowing she would catch it.

"Oh, I _see_." She said smiling. "Tell you what, you can leave after dessert."

"Thanks," I turned to smile at her, appreciatively. Of course I had no idea dinner would be so awkward and I'd find myself wishing I had put more of a fight before giving in and agreeing to come. Not only was it obvious that Carlisle and Esme still didn't know but Edward was being all silent and brooding and it fucking _irked_ me because if any of us had the _right_ to be acting that way, that person was _me_.

"Edward," Esme started, "It's your turn to say what you are thankful for."

"Nothing." He grumbled and Esme laughed, somewhat embarrassed.

"Come on, Edward, don't be like that. There has to be something, or _someone_" She gave me a pointed glance as if I was that someone. "You are th-"

"No, there's not, Mom. My year has sucked." He said curtly, looking at her and leaving no room for discussion.

"Um, okay. Bella?"

"Well, I am thankful I've finally opened my eyes." Edward's eyes shot up to mine from across the table as if warning me but I only raised my eyebrow, he discreetly nodded to the head of the table where his father was sitting before shooting me a pleading glance and I raised my eyebrow further which he responded by merely sighing and running a hand through his hair. The rest of the dinner was filled with normal conversation between the adults with little snarky input from me, from which Edward would be the only one to fully understand them.

When the tension was thick enough that it could have been cut with a knife, Esme thought that by sending us to the den it would decrease and I guess for them it did. It upset me, because we haven't had dessert and as I stood up Mom gave me a pointed look that said I would have to wait until we actually had dessert. Edward held the screen door open for me and, I don't know why, but I felt like hitting him because of it, I sat on the couch, taking my phone out to check why it had vibrated during dinner. When that was done, I kept fiddling with it, pretending to do actually do something with it while, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward hesitating by the other end of the couch briefly before sighing and sitting in a chair diagonal from me. My phone beeped and he looked up from his lap, I shook my head and looked back down.

_**B, what time are you coming? –A**_

_**After dessert. I don't know when that is though. –B**_

"I didn't think you would come." Edward said, twisting his hands together in front of him, awkwardly attempting to make conversation.

"I wasn't going to." I replied shortly, not looking up from my phone.

"You look good." He tried again, several minutes after.

"Thanks." I said, still not looking up. In all honesty, I had no idea why I was so pissed at him. I mean, _yeah_, I had a pretty good reason but in all the other times we were forced to be together it hadn't been like this. Pure, raw anger. There was always this hint of sadness and sorrow and longing but it just _wasn't_ there. And I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel about it, or if I was even supposed to feel anything because of it. After that, he gave up with a sigh and reached over for a laptop that was on the table in front of us. I sneaked a quick glance at it and the sticker of a pear over the Apple logo told me it was his. He always thought it was hilarious and I never really understood why but I always thought it was kind of cute, not it only seemed lame and stupid.

I had no problem staying there, no talking at all, because I could see it was making him anxious but there was something I had to know. "I don't understand why you haven't told them." I looked up and realized he had been staring at me, he held my gaze for a minute or so before sighing and running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know how." He admitted, making that face. His eyes squinting, looking to the side and the side of his mouth twitching. "I take it your parents know."

"_Of course_." In that moment I thought of Riley and my Dad talking, plating cards and stuff. It hit me that it was a nice change. A relaxed environment over the always tense and awkward environment when Dad and Edward were in the same place.

"Do they know _why…?_" He asked, trailing off and I found myself feeling disgust because he couldn't even acknowledge what he had done.

I looked down to my phone, crossed my legs and squared my shoulder. "I hate you, Edward." I said, looking briefly up at him, as if to get my point across. "But I don't want you dead." That was an entire new kind of grieve I would have to go through, and I was barely keeping up with the one I was facing.

"Right," He said bitterly and I looked up at him incredulously. "You hate me." He said in a voice filled with so many emotions I wouldn't have been able to pinpoint even if I had tried for hundred years. He tossed the laptop back on the table, causing me to cringe as it met the wood with a loud thud, before he stood up and walked to the door, with my eyes following his every movement. I couldn't help the pang of guilt and sadness that followed. The door snapped closed after him and I sagged against the couch, feeling that tightening in my chest I had only recently stopped feeling. I don't even know how long after my phone went off beside me and, not lifting my head, I looked at the screen.

_**Mom sent me for ice. I'm nearby. Want me to pick you up? –A**_

I looked up as the door opened again. Edward walked in and not looking at me even once set a plate with, yes, dessert on it. "Mom sent me to give you this." He walked right out and I glared at the offensive plate on the table. I didn't really felt like leaving anymore.

Everyone outside had been my family for such a long time. Yes, Mom and Dad _were_ my family but Carlisle, Esme and even Edward had joined that. _Way before_ Edward and I started dating, of course that feeling only heightened once we did. However, he and I were no longer together and the tension we all felt throughout dinner was a clear way to made me realize that, despite how much I still appreciate them, his family was no longer part of mine anymore. With that though in mind I replied.

_**Al, pick me up –B

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**_

**EPOV**

_Right, left, right, left, right, lef-_

The door squeaked as it was opened and I stopped the movement of my hands fisting the ball beside me. Bella looked up and saw me sitting at the top of the stairs. I thought I saw sadness in her eyes but her stare did not last more than a second so I couldn't be sure. From my spot I couldn't see her after she had taken a couple steps from the door but I heard her as she graciously thanked my parents, apologized for having to leave, excused herself and awkwardly dodged the question of whether I was going with her. She didn't say where she was going but it was not hard to guess. Earlier, Mom had sent me for something to the grocery store and I might have overheard Alice and her brother talking about Bella going to their house. Which is why I had been all emo-ish the entire day, and I could tell it had pissed of Bella but I couldn't really help myself and when I did try to make some kind of conversation she was all short with me. I know I deserved it but it still hurt.

Besides, it _was_ true, my year had completely sucked.

And today was just another reminder of how badly I had fucked up. Today and, _well_, the entire goddamn week. And yes, I _know_, it's only been three days and a half into the week but it might as well have been an entire month and I wouldn't have noticed the difference. Last week, I was going to tell Bella that I was just going to let her be and even though I didn't get to actually tell her, I still went through it. She usually got to school with less than five minutes to spare so I didn't have to avoid her –although hide from her would be more appropriate- during that time, at lunch I would go out to the parking lot for a smoke, or two, or maybe even three, so she could… I don't know, _be herself_. There was nothing I could do about English, though. We had to sit side by side during an entire period everyday and even if I didn't even look at her, well, more like I didn't let her know I was staring, I knew it bothered her. She _adored_ that fucking class but she was just so out of it that she had failed the last two tests.

In overall, however, she just looked so fucking happy that it made my pain worth it. And I knew this because I might have stayed, hidden behind the bleachers, for Cheer practice. I had no idea if it had always been like this, her being different while on practice or if it was something new, but it was as if she was a complete new Bella. Not even Tanya seemed to bring her down, and that was saying _a lot_ because she tried her damn hardest to.

I sighed, restarting the movement of my hand as she crossed my mind. While I had been behind those bleachers, I heard Tanya gushing to her friends about her 'absolutely perfect boyfriend', also known as: me. Of course everything she had been saying was a complete lie. Yes, I was still letting her hang around me but it was just that, Tanya walking next to me. Honestly, I have no idea why I haven't just broken up –and I use the term loosely- with her, or why she had been putting up with me when I barely even talked to her.

I didn't move from my spot on the top of the stairs and kept throwing the rubber ball around for hours. I smiled politely at Renée and the Chief as they were shrugging on their coats and ignored the scowl coming from my father after the door was closed and Mom's worried glance. I stayed sitting there until I stopped hearing the sounds of dishes being moved around and I heard Mom laughing, probably at something Dad had said. I stood up and dragged my feet to the attic but before I could turn the knob and walk in, I walked back to my bedroom to change my dress clothes for jeans, a cotton shirt and a hoodie, and picked a particular black shoebox from the top shelf in my closet, tucking it under my arm as I walked back to the attic.

Once inside, I locked the door and walked to the window, opening it and sticking my hand out to check it wasn't that cold. It wasn't, so I climbed out of the window to sit on the roof and for the fiftieth time since I had gotten the boxes I went through the pictures, one by one, taking my time to examine them. Halfway through the box my phone beeped in my pocket, I snatched it out, cursing myself for having it on before cursing out loud when Tanya's name flashed on my screen. However, before I could turn it off I remembered why I had it on in the first place so I just rejected the call and dialed.

"Edward, dear." I smiled, kind of, and removed the box from my lap, placing it beside me and lifting my legs up to my chest. I hadn't seen them in a while, they were off travelling across the country, and I missed them but they had promised they would be here by Christmas.

"Hi, Nonna. Happy Thanksgiving." I talked to her for a while before I asked about Gramps, and she insisted I talk to him. It was terse and awkward and when I couldn't take it anymore, "I am sorry I disappointed you." I sighed, he cleared his throat.

"Have you told her?"

"She knows, Gramps." I said, omitting the part where Tanya was the one telling her.

And he didn't need to ask to know what had happened. He probably could sense it in my voice. He had always been like that. "I am sorry it ended."

"So am I, Gramps. _So am I_."

* * *

I left the black box on the couch by the corner before stretching my arms over my head and groaning as my muscles flexed and my bones cracked, I looked down to my watch –something I started wearing after my phone started being off most of the time- and realized it was almost midnight. I picked back the box and headed to my room, leaving it on the top shelf of my closet before undressing and brushing my teeth. With my back to the mirror and toothbrush in hand, I stared at the corner of my closet where the boxes were. I shook my head before turning around and rinsing my mouth. I yawned and scratched my stomach, frowning when I realized I was getting soft, which led me to realize the last time I had worked out was in May. I considered starting jogging or something but I hadn't really eaten during dinner, so right then I was just hungry. As I closed my door behind me, I idly considered going back in to put some pants on in case my dad was still around but, hell, I was wearing my boxers and, for some reason, I think an argument with my dad would be welcome right now.

What wasn't welcomed, however, was a heart-to-heart with my mother.

"Hi, Mom." I muttered as I walked past her and into the kitchen. She had been walking out but when the kitchen was suddenly lighted up as I checked the fridge, I knew she had come back in. I shook the box of juice and deciding I'd drink it all, I kicked the fridge closed and leaned against the counter facing my mother and taking a swig right from the box.

"Edward," She reprimanded and I had to bit back my remark. _Now you are talking to me?_

"Yeah?"

"What is wrong with you?"

"Why would you assume there is something wrong with me?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Because you have been locked up in the attic all day? Or maybe because I have _barely_ heard you speak all week? I don't know, maybe it could be because of the fact you haven't slept in your bedroom in almost two weeks?"

I shrugged. "I'm okay." It wasn't a lie. I wasn't good, I wasn't bad. I was _okay_.

"_Edward_," She said in that tone she, and _only_ she, could pull off. The tone that would let me know she was worried but that she was still in parent-mode, not in loving-and-indulgent-mom-mode.

"I was talking to Gramps today. Maybe I don't have anything to say. I can't sleep in there." I said, replying to all her… I don't know, questions? Accusations?

"I am worried about you, Sweetie. Talk to me."

"_Don't_. Don't worry about me." I dropped the unfinished box in the trash can and reached into a cabinet looking for my bag of Oreo's so I could just go back to the attic.

"_Have you tried that with peanut butter?" Bella asked looking up at me. I frowned and my nose twitched in disgust._

"_No." She smiled and moved the pillow she had been resting her head on, I pulled it beneath my head so I could see her better as she sat cross-legged beside me. _

"_It's good," She took one of the cookies and took one of the sides and placed it on my stomach as she dragged her finger across the other side over the white cream before bringing it up to her lips. I smiled. She was _so_ weird sometimes._

"_Where… How did you even find that out?" She took another cookie and repeated the process, pilling the empty ones over my _white_ shirt._

_She shrugged. "The Parent Trap." She talked with her finger still in her mouth. _

"_The what?" _

"_The Parent Trap. You know, the movie?" I shook my head slowly and her eyes widened in mock horror. "Are you kidding me? Lindsay Lohan. Twins. Bitchy almost step mother?" _

"_Sorry, Baby." I said, smiling. "Haven't seen that."_

"_Oh my God! That's like, common knowledge."_

"Oh my God_!" I said, imitating her. "I don't care." She glared at me and tossed a cookie at my face._

"_Jerk."_

"_Stop eating my cookies." I tugged on her shirt, pulling her to lay next to me again. _

"_You are such a kid."_

"_You love it."_

"_I do."_

"To the left." She said softly, and I shook my head, looking into the cabinet she pointed out, realizing I had just stood there with my arm outstretched as the memory floored me. They came just like that, most of the time. Any random thing would trigger a memory of something I had never thought anything of making me wish I had done things differently. With a sigh, I picked a bag of anything that wasn't what I was looking for and walked out. As I had said before, I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

Especially not about _what_ was wrong with me.

I still had to figure out that one.

* * *

I stood by the door, shrugging on my jacket when Mom came out of Dad's study. "Are you going out?" I nodded, fishing my keys out of my pocket. It was Saturday now and there was this thing at the beach we had every year. The team and the cheerleaders. I knew I wasn't in the team anymore but for everyone I was dating someone in the Cheer team. Besides, Emmett had told me to go and I was grasping onto anything that resembled normalcy. I knew I had complained about what my 'normalcy' entailed but, after all, it was all I had ever known and with Bella out of my life that was all I had left. The parties, the 'friends', the booze.

Every day I would get home and lock myself up in whether the attic or my bedroom and every day I would realize just how much Bella was for me. During the almost two years we had been together we had developed this sort of routine and it was as if my brain had not understood completely she wouldn't be around anymore because part of me still expected her to show up when I needed help with Calculus, or for the phone to ring on Mondays right after this show she watches was over, every day my eyes would find some clock in my house at the exact same time I should be picking her up from her practice because she had always finished half an hour after me. Having all this time to myself was _literal_ _hell_, because I just couldn't shut my brain off. I couldn't stop thinking. And the more thinking I did, the more I realized how badly I had fucked up. I had always had her right where I wanted her and that was why I had never noticed how truly important she was in my life but, _now_? Now, the knowledge was killing me.

"Edward," Mom said softly and I understood. _Please don't drink_.

"I won't be out late." I murmured, walking out. I was not about to make a promise I wasn't sure I could go through. However, I didn't know that, as vague as my reply had been, I wouldn't go through that one either.

* * *

I saw a black Escalade pull up and I wondered who had gotten a new car. That is, until the door opened and my nightmare-turned-reality stepped out, after that I only scowled and emptied my beer before walking into the house where all the alcohol was being kept. _What the fuck is he doing here? He's not even in high school, for God's sake! _I walked into the kitchen, punching the screen door open, and grabbed a bottle of vodka from the sink, taking a swig with my eyes tightly closed. I was a beer kind of guy, but something told me I'd need something stronger for the night. The bottle met the counter with a loud clank and I stared down at it, it was below the middle and I wondered if I had drunk that much or if it had been started already. I grabbed a can of beer and leaned against the counter.

Several beers, and vodka swigs after and I could still be found in the same spot. My head was lolling back and forth and not even my thoughts saved from being blurred. Except for one that was really clear now in my drunken state, while it had been hiding in my sobriety.

_I can't do this. I can't be by myself. I can't be alone. _

I just _can't_.

It was like this that Tanya found me. She stood in front of me and frowned, I would never know if the concern in her eyes was actually there or if it was something I had made up in my drunken stupor to make myself feel better. She wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my chest. With the realization I had just had I couldn't stop myself from circling her waist with the arm that was not holding me up. I even squeezed her a bit and rested my chin on top of her head.

"Love you, Eddie." She whispered, and I knew she was taking advantage of my sudden change of demeanor that she knew wouldn't last long. I took a deep breath, defeated. By doing this I had tried to feel something but it just wasn't there. There was no explosion of warmth in my belly, no _need_ to get closer, no smile tugging at my lips, no feeling of relaxation… no _nothing_.

I dropped my arm and she knew the moment was over; she smiled a little before kissing my cheek and walking out. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, looking up as the door was opened again. She was not looking at me, in fact, she was avoiding my gaze and there was nothing from the over-confident girl in my dining room just three days ago. I don't know if I was imagining this or if the alcohol had heightened my senses but I could swear I saw the hair in her arms stood up when she stood beside me to open the fridge but it was like this that I knew she had seen what had just occurred between Tanya and I. And I felt the need to explain.

"Bella," She turned to me, with a bottle of Coke fisted in her hand. I squinted my eyes and tilted my head trying to turn the two beautiful girls I was seeing into the one I knew was possible was there.

"Why are you with her, Edward?" The extra Bella wouldn't go away, so I rubbed my palms against my eyes, when the extra Bella was turning into a faint silhouette I opened my mouth to speak but she beat me to it. "Here," She said, thrusting a bottle of water I hadn't noticed she had gotten into my chest. "Drink this. This is something I need to know." I grabbed the bottle greedily, but it was not the water I craved but my chance to talk to her. I drank the entire thing, my eyes not leaving hers that were looking right back. And there, without even touching her, there was the explosion of warmth in my belly.

"I was drunk, Bella. I did-"

"_No_," She held her hand up and looked away from my eyes, looking at my chest instead. "I didn't mean _then_. I mean _now_." I sighed, closing my eyes. The need to get closer was there, and I couldn't stop myself when I clumsily stepped forward, stumbling slightly and leaving her trapped between the fridge and its door. I started to apologize and move away but her hand cupped my chin and I stopped every movement. "Answer me." I realized her eyes were not sad anymore, they were not dancing with joy as I had been used to but they weren't dark with despair. And oddly enough, that relieved me.

"No one else will have me." I whispered, aware of our closeness and a part of me was thankful the door of the fridge was between us. "I am lonely. I don't know how to be without you and I am lonely." You know how people say other people are smiling with their eyes? Well, Bella's eyes were totally upside down. I ran a finger down the side of her face. "You are still everything to me." I said, my welled up eyes following the movement of my finger.

"Edward," Her voice broke and I looked into her eyes only to find them closed. "You brought this upon yourself." She opened her eyes. "_Upon us_."

"I know. And I would say I am sorry if I didn't know it means nothing to you."

"It doesn't mean nothing to me, is just not enough."

And again, "I know." I closed my eyes when her thumb reached over to stroke my cheek and only when moisture was spread over my cheek I realized I was crying. It didn't escaped me that this was the first time I had cried in front of her but I just couldn't stop it this time, this had the very bittersweet taste of goodbye all over it. And yes, technically we had said 'goodbye' a while ago but we never _really_ did. "Let me explain, Bella." I pleaded but she shook her head.

"No." Her hand was still on my face.

"I don't want to lose you." I said, turning my head and spoke against her hand, brushing my lips against it. She smiled sadly and removed her hand. "But I already did." It was a question just as much as it was statement so when I received no answer I continued. "To Frat-Boy."

"To Riley." She corrected and my chest constricted at her admission.

"Tell me how to do it." I said softly. "Tell me how to move on." I pleaded with my eyes. I just wanted to stop hurting.

"You have…" She hesitated, frowning. "…Her."

"She means nothing to me. I am yours, Baby. Bella, I swear… just say the words and I'll dump Tanya. Just say it and I _am_ yours." I pretty much begged but she shook her head. "There can't be… There must be something I can do, Bella. _There must be some_-"

"Edward?" She cut me off and I shut up. "Do something for me, will you?" I wanted to say no but how could I? So I nodded, instead. "What I have with Riley is… it is good. And I want it to work out. But it won't if you keep messing with my feelings. I want to forget everything, Edward. I want to truly move on." I nodded.

"I'll leave you alone." I offered, looking away. It was what I had already promised myself I would do but right now, with her within touching distance, asking me to do it? It just changed _everything_.

"Thanks." I moved, so she could walk out. I wanted to ask her to give me a hug but I refrained, pocketing my hands and looking down instead. She looked back from the door and I wanted to say something but I couldn't. What was I supposed to say? My biggest mistake and my biggest happiness, all wrapped up in one beautiful girl, were walking away from me. For good. What was I supposed to say?

_I am sorry._

_I love you._

_I miss you._

_I need you._

_Don't leave me._

_Forgive me._

My shoulders started shaking with held back sobs as I realized I had not said anything I had really wanted to say. But what hurt the most was the fact that it didn't matter. She had _him_, and _I_ didn't matter. And when I turned around, wrapping my arms around me to stop the shaking, and was met with a set of blue eyes I knew I would have to learn to be by myself.

* * *

**So... It´s been forever. But here is another chapter. I hope not to take so long for the next one. Hope you had a great Valentine´s Day (I know I did :O)**

**And well, ´til next time.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs**


	22. Chapter 22

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 22**

**You're entitled to your opinion**  
**But it's really my decision**  
**I can't turn back I'm on a mission**  
**If you care don't you dare blur my vision**  
**Let me be all that I can be**  
**Don't smother me with negativity**  
**Whatever's out there waiting for me**  
**I'm going to faced it willingly**

**I've got a right to be wrong**  
**My mistakes will make me strong**  
**I'm stepping out into the great unknown**  
**I'm feeling wings though I've never flown**  
**I've got a mind of my own**  
**Flesh and blood to the bone**  
**See, I'm not made of stone**  
**I've got a right to be wrong**  
**So just leave me alone**

**I've got a right to be wrong**  
**I've been held down to long**  
**I've got to break free**  
**So I can finally breathe**  
**I've got a right to be wrong**  
**Got to sing my own song**  
**I might be singing out of key**  
**But it sure feels good to me**  
**I've got a right to be wrong**  
**So just leave me alone**

**Right To Be Wrong -Joss Stone**

**BPOV**

"Hey, you alright?" I nodded and let him pull me into a hug when he saw through my lie. I sighed and closed my eyes trying to shake that feeling out of me. I was not like her. _At all._ When I walked out of the kitchen I saw her standing there, beside the door. I tried to ignore her but it was kind of hard when she shot me a glare that was more filled with pain than anger. I tried to shake off the feeling of guilt she gave me but, truth was, it wasn't my fault Edward had said that. I didn't even expect him to do so. I mean, 'I love you, Eddie'? Not only there were so many wrong things in only those four words but it didn't take a genius to understand he didn't say the words back. But still, I felt as if our roles were changed and suddenly I was her, threatening her relationship which was ridiculous because I did not want a relationship with Edward Cullen. _Not anymore_. Even if all he had said was true, and even if all he hadn't said but I had still understood was true, it just didn't change anything. He had still cheated on me and for so fucking long, that it was just not in the cards for us anymore. Even so, I knew I should have just let him talk or explain or whatever but I knew it would just bring hell a lot more pain. I could just shove this all back in the back on my mind and kept it locked. Probably it wasn't healthy but it was working so far and if he really went through what he said he would, it would keep on being that way. I needed space from him, from all that happened until all the whirlwind in my head had settled down. And maybe then, maybe, I could talk to him about it. _Maybe_.

I needed to stop thinking about it, though, so I closed my eyes tighter and actually shook my head. "No?" He asked confused and I just shook my head again, trying to tell him that it was not with him. But he misunderstood me again. "Listen, Bella." He sighed and I bit my lip, sort of knowing where he was going with that. "Let's just forget about what I said last week, okay?" I pulled apart, frowning. "I mean, we don't even have to talk about it. I get it. You've been avoiding me. You said you'd come by on Thursday and you didn't-" Yeah, I had asked Alice to pick me up but not because I wanted to go to her house, but because I had no way to go to mine and it had snowed so I really couldn't walk home. She frowned and tried to talk me out of it but still drove to my house. I told her I was sorry and that I couldn't talk to Riley that day. It had been true, too. Being with Edward like that –he all… _blue_ and me all… _bitchy_- had been kind of confusing.

I don't know if he noticed when he opened the boxes, and I highly doubt he did, but I had kept _one_ of his sweatshirts. I had pulled it out of its hiding place on the top shelf in my closet. I had stared at it for a long while and only stopped when tears started hitting the lettering I was grazing my fingers across. I pulled it on and walked to the windowsill, biting my nail as I recalled the day he had given it to me.

"_You are going to spill that." Rose said, kicking my shin as she sat beside me on the grass while we were being lectured on what a lousy job we were doing instead of practicing. _

"_I won't." I said as I swirled the cap of my water bottle again._

"_Just don't get any of it on me." I hummed my response as I looked across the field to catch a glimpse of the football team, more like number fourteen of the football team. We had been out here for over an hour and he hadn't looked this way. I sighed._

"_I hate this." I muttered under my breath. _

"_What?" Rose asked, inspecting her nails. _

"This_… I don't know. I don't know where _we_ stand." I whined. Rose was the only one besides Felix that knew about Edward. _

"_Oh, yeah. The _uncertainty_ is _certainly_ nerve-racking." She said smiling and I glared at her. We weren't even dating, not really at least, for me to feel like _this_. We had kissed some few times but we hadn't really gone out on a date. We were in that annoying-as-hell stage in which if anyone asked, we were 'just friends' but we both knew it was a bit more than that yet not enough to say we were seeing each other. And I fucking _hated_ it. I wanted him to see me and I wanted to see him and I wanted us to fucking _see_ each other so the nerve-racking uncertainty would just end. I grabbed my bottle and took a swig, looking up to the coach as she kept talking. I briefly wondered if she knew no one was listening when Rose spoke, or pretty much sang, barely above a whisper. "He's looking." _

_The bottle fell from my lips as I choke on the water and I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as I looked up to find him staring at me with an amused smile. That smile that curved only one side of his mouth –the smile that always made me blush the blush that always made him wink at me- before turning back to the game. After that, I didn't even tried to hide the fact I was staring at him so I easily saw as two other guys told him something and he immediately got pissed. He walked to the bleachers and pulled something out of his bag before starting on a jog to where I was sitting, ignoring both Coaches as they called his name, and squatted down so we were eye level and whispered. "Your shirt is all wet and you're giving a show." I looked down and blushed profusely, crossing my arms over my chest. He only smiled, seeing me all flustered. "Put this on, Baby." He said, thrusting his sweatshirt into my hands and kissing my forehead before he jogged back to the other side of the field. _

I leaned my head against the wall and breathed deeply, hearing a subtle echo of whistling and catcalling I had heard that day before the sound of the front door being opened brought me back to the present. I should have said no. Later that day when he asked me if I wanted to go out with him, all nervous and uncertain, I should have said no.

But I had said _yes_.

_Why_ had I said yes?

I sighed and opened my eyes as my door creaked open and internally groaned when my Mom's face came into view, concern marring her features. I looked away, I couldn't stand it.. "Are you okay, Bella?"

"Yes."

"Weren't you going to-?"

"No."

"But-"

"Mom." I finally whined and she sighed, walking into the room and making sure the door was locked before she headed to the side of my bed. I frowned until I saw her hand reaching up to the photo frame that had been facing backwards for weeks. She came to sat on the other side of the windowsill and I waited for her to say something but she just tapped her fingers against the frame that was facing down. Eventually, she chuckled a little bit and shook her head.

"Esme and Carlisle have _no_ idea, do they?"

"Nope."

She nodded. "I figured." She took a deep breath and turned to look at me. "So, I was wondering… Why did you two broke up?" I looked out the window, pursed my lips and filled my cheeks with air trying to prepare myself for when I would speak but when I opened my mouth nothing came out and I rolled my eyes and laughed at myself when I felt my eyes watering up again.

"I… It's just… I can't tell you, Mom." I admitted softly as I tugged on my sleeves so they would cover my hands.

"But… That bad?"

"I just can't, Mom." In all honesty I was embarrassed. I mean, she had kept Dad for almost twenty years and they were adults and had to worry about real life stuff and… I guess I just felt like a failure in that regard. "Sorry."

"That's okay, Sweetie. You are getting older and you don't have to share everything with me. I get-"

"No, Mom, is not that." I said shaking my head and she raised her hand to stop me.

"Listen, I'll say something and I _hope_ it helps, seeing it will be sort of broad. But listen. You and Edward were together for a long time for your age, or any age actually and I know you loved him and I know you were really happy with him. But that's the thing with relationships, there's a high likelihood they'll end, and when they do it will hurt. And it's normal.

"Don't think I'm trying to tell you how to live your life because, honestly, I am not but, Bella, you haven't let yourself hurt over it. I mean, I don't want you to hurt, if it were up to me you'd never have to but that's what needs to happen. You are acting like you don't give a shit, like 'Ah, well. Too bad', and that is not going to get you anywhere, Baby Girl. And there's Riley." She sighed and I took a deep breath, bracing for whatever she had to say. "You literally jumped from being with Edward to being with Riley. That's the _definition_ of rebound-"

"I'm not using him, Mom." I defended myself. She looked up and bit her lip before talking again.

"I can see you really like him, _hell_, your father noticed and it may not be intentional but-"

"Mom, I am not using him."

"I love you, Honey but you are not doing things right. And that needs to be said. Honestly I thought you and Edward would fix things up, even when Riley came into the picture. I mean, who hasn't done that at least once? But then I saw you both today and, Bella, you literally attacked him. If it's really over well, then it's really over but jumping into another relationship is not the way to deal with it. Riley is a good kid and I do want you to be able to move on if that is what you want but you need to get over-"

"I am over it." She touched her tongue to the inside of her cheek and I knew I was getting her irritated.

"If you really were, _Isabella_," _Ah, confirmation. Irritated. Will you leave now, please?_ "You wouldn't be wearing _that_-" She pointed to my torso and I crossed my arms myself trying to hide it and didn't meet her gaze when she continued. "And you wouldn't keep _this_." She finally released the frame and threw it between us. It fell facing up and I looked away before the blur of color would turn into the image I had nearly memorized. "You can't even look at it, Bella. That's not being over something." She stood up and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Make sure it's really over before you reach a point of no return, Bella." Her words lingered after she left the room – turning off the lights, thank you very much- and as much as it had annoyed me, I couldn't deny she was kind of right. I had kept the picture up by my bed because for some reason unbeknown to me it had felt really special. I mean, yeah, it was a great picture and all but there were tons like it and I was able to get rid of them all.

I turned my face slightly and tilted my head so I could see the frame over my knee. It was dark and the mix of colors made it kind of hard to really make out anything else other than our outlines but I didn't have to be able to see it properly. I had pretty much fallen in love with that picture as soon as I saw it. It was taken during his birthday party and he had been whining about being too old for a birthday cake so Emmett had just smashed his face against it which obviously had made me laugh so he thought it'd be even funnier if I got cake on my face too. In the shot both of our faces were covered with cake, his arms were around my waist while mine were pushing against his chest as he rubbed his face against mine trying to get more cake on it.

It was sweet. It was funny.

But…

_It was a lie._

That was all I had needed for my decision to be fully made. I stood up, took off the sweatshirt and it, along the frame, had ended up in my trash can.

I didn't believe in closure, I've always thought that it was just a way to mask an opening –pretending to do something to move _on_ when in reality we're looking for a reason to move back _in_- but I couldn't help myself when I overheard them in the kitchen. I had to ask. It wasn't closure. It was… curiosity, nosiness, snooping, prying, whatever but closure.

I didn't need to mask my desire to move back in because there was no desire to. Moving _on_, on the other hand…

"No, _listen_." I took a deep breath. "Are we gonna give this a shot?" I bit my lip and Riley tilted his head to the side, pursing his lips as he tried to hide a smile.

"Yes?"

"Was that a question?" I half joked and he let out that smile for few seconds before he became all serious and took a step closer.

"Are you sure? I mean, there was a window in that kitchen, Bella, I saw you in there with him. _Everyone_ did. I…" He took a second before continuing. "I don't want to be just your rebound guy. Cullen-" He motioned his hand to a point behind me and his eyes trailed off for a second longer than what could have been considered normal so I turned to see what he was looking at but he placed his arms on my shoulders, returning our attention back to each other. "He wants to be with you again and I'm not sure if that's not something you want, too. So I am asking you, are you sure you want to be with me?"

_Make sure it's really over before you reach a point of no return, Bella._

"Yes."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Hmmm," He tilted his head to the side and smiled before stepping closer. "So, if I wanted to do this-" He took my hands and placed them over his shoulder. "And this-" He placed his hands on my waist and his smile grew. "And I pull you close like this-" His arms encircled my waist and his hand was flat against my back as he pulled me closer. "You wouldn't freak out, would you?"

"No," I reached out to touch his hair with one hand as I shook my head slowly and we were so close that our noses touched with the movement.

"Good." He whispered before his lips were on mine. I closed my eyes and let him kiss me as I shyly kissed him back. With Edward, kissing him was natural, I didn't need to think about it but it had been two years since I had kissed someone other than him and I couldn't help but think whether it'd be any good or not. And because of that same reason I couldn't help but compare Riley to Edward. Riley's lips were a bit thinner and chapped, it was not a bad kiss but I've definitely had better and as his hand tangled into my hair, angling my face so he could deepen the kiss, I finally gave up trying to pinpoint what it was about this kiss that made it so different from Edward's. It was just different, not good different or bad different…

Just the kind of different that I would have to get used to.

**EPOV**

I know I shouldn't drive when I had drank as much as I had but when Tanya came into the kitchen she just glared at me and asked me to take her home. So here we were, my car in idle in front of her porch neither of us saying anything until it got to be too much.

I opened my mouth to say something but she beat me to it. "It killed you, didn't it?"

"What?" I knew what she was talking about.

"Seeing them kissing."

"Yeah, it did." My teeth clenched and my hands tightened around the wheel as the image flooded me.

"Good."

"I am sorry, Tanya. I didn't mean for you to hear that."

She chuckled, shaking her head. "That's it, Edward. That's _right it_." Her voice grew loud, so much it was almost yelling. "You are sorry about the wrong things. You are not sorry about what you said, you are sorry because I shouldn't have heard and I did. With Bella, you are not sorry you cheated on her, you are sorry she left you because of it."

"You are wrong, Tanya. I am sorry I cheated on Bella. I don't want to be rude," I so want to be rude. "But I am sorry I slept with you, I regret it, and I honestly believe it to be the biggest mistake in my life." Her head fell down over her knees and her shoulders started shaking. "Listen, you knew how things were. You knew I had a girlfriend. Yet you approached me. Then, you knew I was not going to leave her… I…" I laughed humourlessly, "I don't even remember the night this started. I was drunk and so, so, so pissed off. I had just fought with Bella and then you were there-" She mumbled something and I frowned. "What was that?"

She turned her head to face me but kept it resting against her knee. "We didn't."

"What?"

"That time you are talking about… we didn't have sex that time."

My eyes narrowed and my teeth snapped together. "Come again."

"You passed out right before we could."

"And how-" I tilted my head to the side, trying to release some of the tension that had taken place on my neck and shoulders. "_Why_ are you _just_ telling me this, _Tanya_?"

"Because you wouldn't hear me out!" She cried and it flashed me how many times she had tried to talk to me that following week. I didn't even know how to feel about it but she started talking again. "I am sorry. I am sorry I didn't make you listen. I am sorry I let it happen. I am sorry I told her. But most of all I am sorry I fell in love with you.

"Oh, for God's sake! You don't love me, Tanya!" I yelled as I hit the wheel with the palm of my hand.

"I do!"

"_Tanya_. You don't even _know_ me. Tell me what the fuck is it that you love about me." She opened her mouth but I stopped her. "No. you know what? I don't even care. If you really think you love me, then get over it because I don't love you and I won't tomorrow… or ever. It's just time to fucking face the music. You love me, I don't love you. I love her, she's with him. That's how things really are. And yes, I am fucking sorry I hurt her. And I am fucking sorry I am hurting you now but this is it.

"_I am done_."

* * *

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 23**

**For a moment when the blare of the TV subsides****  
****And then song fills the air, playing every night****  
****A change in the key feels like a change in the season**

**I pretend almost every, every other night****  
****That this body and its entirety belongs to me, every breath****  
****It comes and goes****  
****It comes and goes****  
****All night**

**Well, you can't dictate the way, the way I'm gonna feel****  
****No matter what, no matter what I'm forced to see****  
****I'll be the one free of jealousy**

**Far More – Honorary Title**

**EPOV**

God, my head hurts like hell and why, oh, why she doesn't let me go to my room?

"Mom? Can I go to bed? I don't fell well." Seeing your mom crying is probably one of the hardest thing a person can endure but, seeing her cry because of you? _Hardest. Thing. Ever._

Well, second hardest thing ever.

And, lucky me, I've had to go through both of them in less than twelve hours.

"Your dad wants to talk to you."

"Can't it be tomorrow, Mom? I really just want to go to bed."

Sob. Throat clearing. "No, Edward. It can't be tomorrow." Mom voice. "I'm sorry, Mom." I whispered. I _was_, but is not like I had _planned_ this, I was angry and then sad, it didn't even register I was drinking that much until Chief Swan stopped me. _Driving home_. Besides, I thought I was past this lectures coming from my parents in the middle of the night.

Really, what did they expect out of them? I was drunk and sleepy and in pain. Most of the time I only pay attention to know when they make those rhetorical questions so I can fake shame and repentance. I was brought out of my musings by the sound of the front door slamming shut. He walked into the living room and sat across me, with Mom standing behind him with her hands kneading his shoulders. I thought of a fighter and I would have laughed out loud hadn't it been for the fact that it would have been _so_ out of line and that little vein in his forehead was big enough that I could see blood pumping through it. Or maybe I was just drunk enough that I was seeing things.

He took a swig of his glass filled with whisky and it occurred me it was ironic he was going to chastise me about drinking _while_ drinking. "Edward, I can't even start to express how disappointed I am." I looked down. Shame. "God, Edward! It's been years! What has gotten into you!" Hand on my forehead. New one. Real shame. In a softer voice. "Answer me. What. Is. Wrong?"

Sigh. "My head hurts. Can I go to bed?" Please Dad, I really don't want to get into what's wrong with me. Ah, hell, you could give Bella a call, she'd tell you how fucked up I am.

"Answer the damn question, Edward."

"I don't know Dad! I don't know."

"Really? Because I was _just_ talking to Charlie and it seems you've been lying to us."What the fuck?

"Lying? How?"

"You and Bella."

"Don't Dad, don't even go there. That has nothing to do with this. I just drank more than what I should have. How is this linked to her?" Oh, in so, so many ways, but the wounds of her definite rejection are still too fresh.

"You tell me, Edward. You started drinking again when you broke up, thing we didn't even know had happened"

"If that's what you meant when you said I was lying, I didn't, I don't have to tell you everything that's going on in my life. Besides, I never stopped drinking." I said like a petulant child, rolling my eyes.

"Edward, Honey, it's okay if you're upset things between Bella and you didn't work but, this is not the way to get over it, quite the opposite actually." And for the first time in probably my entire life, I didn't found her voice calming.

"Goddamnit! This is not about Bella!"

Dad shot up from his seat. "Edward Anthony Cullen. That is no way to talk to your mother! Apologize to her right now." I didn't. "_Edw_-"

"Sorry, Mom."

"It's okay, Honey."

"What-e-ver." I mumbled and Dad looked like he would yell at me again but Mom squeezed his shoulders and he sat back down.

"Listen Edward, and listen well. You can pine over Bella all you want but she's just a girl. If it was not meant to be you just have to deal with it. And the way you're doing it is not right."

"Just a girl, huh? Would you say that about Mom?"

"Edward, that is _completely_ different."

"Is it though? You have no way to know how I actually feel about her, Dad! At first my feelings for her were real and you _know_ it. Is not my fault you twisted them into something to make you proud! _Hell_, not even that much, just to get you off my back. You know what else is not my fault? That because of you I think I'm no more than a piece of crap and-" My not so little rant was cut off by a loud sob coming from my mother. I looked to the carpet and rubbed my now stinging eyes.

"Esme, Dear, go to bed." Dad said and she obliged, kissing the top of my head as she left. I heard him stand up and then I saw his shoes moving away. I thought about apologizing but, why would I? That was how I felt. I guessed he was by the bar because I heard the sound of an ice hitting a glass."You can't blame everything on me, Edward. I've never asked anything of you that any other parent wouldn't." He took his time before continuing but as soon as a sound came out of him I stood up.

"Going to bed." I declared and left

* * *

I shook my head and rubbed my temples before pulling out my sunglasses from the pocket of my jacket. It was Tuesday afternoon and after drinking all Saturday night and most of Sunday I was still feeling it and the logical choice would have been to go straight home and sleep off my hangover but for some reason I couldn't stay away. I didn't want to go home and do absolutely nothing for the entire day. I had walked right to my car, cringing every time someone talked too loud before I sighed and turned around to the field where some kids were warming up. One kid caught my attention, he had to be a freshman and while all the others were goofing around with a ball on the field he was sitting two rows below me with his phone in his hands. He kept typing away on his phone until the Coach whistled and then he threw the phone into his bag and took off his glasses before putting on some others that made him look like a superhero wannabe. It reminded me of Jasper, he had to use glasses so when he used practice as a excuse not to wear them, his mom got him those. Then, he just decided it was all bullshit.

Honestly, I had come here to watch the Team but I guess it was just one of those days that the Cheer squad was going to practice outside. And then I just couldn't tear my eyes away. She talked to Rosalie briefly before jogging up the bleachers and sitting on the last row, lifting her phone up to her ear, she stayed there until some of the girls yelled at her and she jogged back down not even noticing I was here. Sighing, I turned my attention back to the guys and the coach waved at me when he noticed I was there before sending everyone to run some laps and walking my way.

"Hey, kid." He said, patting my shoulder as he sat beside me.

"Coach."

"Waiting up for the missus?" I looked at him, frowning. _What?_ "Your girlfriend, Cullen."

"Uh, no." I pointed at myself. "_Single_." He nodded.

"What are you doing here, then?"

I shrugged. "Ehh, _teamsick_?"

"What?"

"Like homesick but-"

"Oh, 'kay. Get it." He considered it briefly before saying, "D'you wanna join the team again, Cullen?"

"Not really. Thanks, though."

"Can't blame me for trying." He chuckled for a few seconds before he pulled his cap off, clearing his throat. "You never really told me why you quit?"

"Ehh,"

"Your girlfriend?" He asked with a _tone_ on his voice. He had always said that it was better and wiser to not have a girl if you were in the team. And I agreed in most cases. It was no surprise that the ones in the team would at some point date one, or two, of the girls across the field but the thing was that those girls were clingy as hell and some of them had caused some of the guys to quit because this reason or that. I had gotten lucky, though. Bella was cool with me being in the team, as long as I gave her my undivided attention for at least one night during weekdays and a day during the weekends -something we agreed after one particular fight over us always hanging out with my friends- and it was never an issue, seeing that after a while we ended up pretty much spending everyday together either at my house or hers.

"Single." I repeated, pointing at myself and feeling a rush of _I-don't-know-what_ as I heard the word leaving my mouth.

_Single_.

As in _alone_.

"Then?"

"It was about her, though. _Kinda_" I shifted on my seat, tucking my hands into my hoodie pockets. "I mean, she dumped me and then I had way too much time to think which led me to realize that I did not want to do this anymore." I shrugged, knowing there was a lot more than that.

"But you are _so_ good, kid."

"Because I _had_ to, coach."

"How's that?"

"It was what kept my dad off my back, for a long time." He sighed, resigned and it hit me that maybe he was still hoping I'd want to play again.

"You miss playing?"

"_For sure_."

"Listen, if it were up to me you'd start practicing today but I am not going to force you into something you don't want anymore but you do look like you need to have less free time so I'll make you a deal.

"The semester is almost over, Cullen, and I need help with the newbies. Get back in shape -_you look like shit_-, pull yourself together so when we come back from the holidays you can help me keep an eye on the kids and you can play sometimes with your pals."

"Really?" It didn't necessarily stroked me as an ideal way to spend my afternoons but, honestly, everything was better than hiding in the attic and drowning in my own misery and self-pity.

Besides, I could still play with the team, without having to be _one_ of the team.

"Yeah. There are a bunch of kids that just want to be cool. I need you to get rid of those unless they are talented."

"Deal." I said abruptly. I was one of those kids once. Wanting to be cool and have lunch on the table by the far right end in the cafeteria. I had wanted to be invited to parties and wear a letterman jacket to them. Everything I had seen in tons of movies was exactly what I wanted. And that's the problem, jocks are the way they are because they have an status to live up to, and freshmen try to become jocks so they don't have to deal with four years of feeling like a no one just because that's exactly what they make them up to be if they don't have a pretty girl hanging down one arm and a ball on the other. And it's all _way_ overrated.

I wish there had been someone to tell me this.

Maybe that way I could still have kept the pretty girl with me, holding onto her with both hands.

* * *

Dinner with my parents had always been awkward. Mom would talk about all the amazing things going on in her life, all the while my Dad would hold her hand in his, with this sweet, and sickening, smile on his face. Then she'd ask him about his day and he'd say it was amazing as hell, leaving out the part that he spent more time with people he'd never see again than with his own family and how he could see a person take their last breath, and mention how I would JUST love it if I gave it a chance, instead of wanting to study psychology because it was all BS. Then Mom would smile tightly and ignore how he was directly offending her father while trying not to think whether or not he had a shift that night, too.

Every night it was like that, and every night my fingers would twitch around my fork for a cigarette. Tonight, mostly, because he kept bringing up what happened Sunday morning.  
When Bella used to stay around until dinner it was better, Dad kept his remarks at bay and would talk to her about whatever book they both had read. There was a time it had annoyed me, that my father seemed to get along with my girlfriend better than he did with me, and I never tried to mask the bitterness afterwards so Bella stopped coming over for a while until I realized that it was better to have her around seeing as it stopped me from smoking and risking getting caught, by busying ourselves with school work or just each other.

Today was no difference and I was finishing off my chicken when Dad cleared his throat.

"So, Edward, have you given it a thought of what you are going to major in?" Mom sighed because we all were aware that I had not changed my mind. "Because you're already late as it is, Son." _Son_. _Agh_. There was a time I _craved_ to hear him call me that, now it just made me scowl.

"Sure, Dad." I said cheerfully and I got a sick sense of satisfaction when a hopeful glint took residence on his eyes. "Since I was twelve." His scowl was priceless, as was Mom's smug smile. "_Psy-chol-o-gy_." I enunciated every syllable, stabbing a slice of tomato with my fork. If I had known -although I guess I kind of did- it'd be like this I would have eaten faster and be gone by now. We ate in silence for few minutes before deciding I was sick of lying. I cleared my throat and they looked up at me.

"What is it, Edward?" Mom asked after a minute in which I haven't said anything.

I took a deep breath, briefly looking at my dad before focusing on my plate. "I quit the team." I said and closed my eyes when the sound of cutlery hitting the floor resonated all through the dining room.

"You did _what_, Edward Anthony?" Dad nearly screeched.

"I have homework to do." I stood up and left.

Ah, the joys of family dinner.

* * *

I would usually walk to the parking lot to smoke but today as I passed the cafeteria I realized that I missed my friends. And that I was really hungry since I hadn't had anything for breakfast. With a shrug of my shoulders I tugged on the strap of my bag before pushing the door open.

A look around the place made me feel kind of ill. It all looked the same, which was ridiculous since _nothing_ was the same. I noticed that the table down the corner was full but my place remained empty, for which I was sort of thankful. Sort of because Bella had moved to the other side of the table, between Rosalie and Alice.

Someone pushed his way in past me and I went to buy my food thinking about how last night made me feel. I won't deny that it was awkward, to tell them like that, but to an extent it was what I needed. Of course I am aware that wasn't the most appropiate way to let them know, but still. As stupid an girly and cliched that it may sound, I felt lighter and I should have done that a long time ago. Of course I had to endure Dad's yelling and stuff, but at the end it was worth it. Yes, he threatened to take my car away but it backfired when all I did was hand him my keys. He then threatened to take my cell phone away and again, I handed it to him. He grunted and opened his mouth to yell something else but I beat him and handed over my laptop, iPod and the remote control of the TV. It was kind of childish of him, actually.

All five of them were on my desk this morning. I believe it was my mom's doing, though.

I paid for my food and balanced the tray on one hand as I pocketed the change.

"Cullen!" Someone yelled from behind me , startling me and almost causing me to drop the tray. I turned around to see who was it and turned right back when I noticed it was Felix. "Come on, man!" He said closer this time.

"What do you want?" I sneered at him, glancing sideways to let him know how annoyed I was.

"It's about Bella, dude." He sneered back, taking a hold on my elbow to stop me from walking.

"What is it?" I asked, annoyance lacing my tone. Fake annoyance, though. About _this_ I _was_ interested.

"Really? You wanna talk here?" He looked pointedly to a group of sophomores that were pretending so hard that they were not listening.

"Fine." I huffed, grabbing my slice of pizza before leaving the tray on an empty table and followed him out of the cafeteria.

_In the day I actually choose to come in._

"So..." He started once we were outside.

"To the point."

"Bella's being cheated on." He rushed out.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I said through gritted teeth. "If this is your way of fucking making a joke... _I swear to God_, Felix-"

"No, no, no. I'm for real. I saw him with a blonde yesterday."

"What?"

"Yes! Mom asked me to drive up to Seattle to give something to my brother. So I was around campus and saw him."

"He surely has friends, Felix." I said, thoroughly annoyed by now.

"Edward." He said sternly, effectively turning my attention back to him. "I'm serious. I saw him all over this girl."

Well... _Fuck_.

* * *

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs**


	24. Chapter 24

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all. **

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 24**

**Don't keep yourself away, don't live your life that way**  
**Of course, he's gonna say anything you want**  
**Then leave quicker than he came, now you got yourself to blame**  
**Don't put yourself back in the fire again**

**It's the same damn things you're so quick to believe**  
**You do it over and over again**  
**And it's the same mistakes that I'm watching you weep**  
**You do it over and over again**

**So before they bring you down**  
**You've gotta stand for something or you'll fall for anything**  
**No, you'll fall for anything, no, you'll fall for**  
**You've gotta stand for something or you'll fall for anything**  
**No, you'll fall for anything, no, you'll fall for**

**Love that bring you down, down, down**  
**Love that bring you down, down, down**  
**Love that bring you down, down, down**  
**Love that bring you down, down, down**

**Oh, please don't be so naive, don't wait 'till your heart bleeds**  
**Love wasn't built for speed, listen to me girl**  
**He keeps fuckin' with your head, tryna get you into bed**  
**And in the morning you'll just hate yourself**

**The Script - Fall For Anything**

* * *

**BPOV**

_**I can't go to Forks Friday. See you Saturday, instead? -R**_

_**Sure. I really wanted to see you, though. -B**_

I sighed and dropped my phone beside me on the bed. Alice is running in and out of her closet, deciding what to wear for Friday night, she's all freaked out about it because she's planning on ignoring Jasper all night long and, apparently, for her to be able to do that she has to look absolutely stunning.

"So, do you know yet?" She asked as she held to blouses for me to choose the one I liked better.

"Yeah," I said, pointing to the red one on her left hand and talking louder as she walked back into her closet. "He's staying Friday night on Seattle." I didn't want to go to that party and Riley was the only one that could have saved me out of it, Alice's been hanging out more and more with a lot of the girls from my group of friends despite her initial hatred so she doesn't really need me there to keep her company but I am still the only one that knows about her _little _crush on Jasper.

"So you're coming with me?" It was not really a question, so I just nodded wordlessly as she kept suffering over what to wear.

I sighed and rolled onto my belly thinking about the last few days with Riley. Not that there was much to think about since he had left Sunday morning and I haven't seen him since then. We did talk every day, although the calls were not that long since he had started studying for his exams. Despite all that, it felt... Good. Real good. Every time his name appeared on my screen, a smile would appear on my face, just like that. However, I couldn't help but sometimes compare to what Edward and I had. And when I didn't like the conclusion I always got to, I always blamed it on the fact that Edward had been my first real boyfriend and everything with him had been new and intriguing and exciting and-

"What are you gonna wear?" Alice came out of her closet with her hair in complete disarray and I briefly wondered what she had been doing before rolling onto my back.

"I don't know, I'll find something." I said, looking up to the ceiling. She muttered something and went back into her closet, it was ridiculous, really. She and Jasper had been attached to the hip all week at school, and now she wants to play aloof? I just didn't see the point in complicating everything so much. She liked him and he liked her, what else is there to figure out? It may not work out but, well, at least they tried.

Like Riley and I.

Alice finally, and thankfully, decided on what to wear but then her phone rang, and by the way her face lit up, I knew it was time for me to go home.

It was earlier than my usual hour to get home and I hoped Mom was there because I had lost my key and the one under the mat... Well, let's just say I lose things a lot.

Of course it never occurred to me that she may have had guests.

"Bella, good to see you." I smiled, hoping it didn't look forced, as I took off my jacket.

"Esme, Mom." I nodded their way as I stalled by the door. Is not like I just stopped liking Esme, or Carlisle for that matter, suddenly, I just... It was just awkward. I mean, I had no idea whether Edward had finally told them or not. If he had, it was just AWKWARD, and if he hadn't I knew he had some sort of issues with his parents so I was not about to just let them know.

Alice would have said I am stupid just by considering him in this situation.

I was about to go upstairs, stealing Riley's excuse of exams - not that it ever occurred to me that that's what they were, excuses - when Mom spoke. "Why don't you join us, Sweetie?" She said, standing up. "I was talking to Esme about what you asked for your birthday, she has marvelous ideas." I frowned - What? Oh. Right. Europe. I had totally forgotten about that. My life had been the definition of a whirlwind since I last thought of that. Mom left for the kitchen, leaving me no option but to go into the living room and sit across the couch Esme was on. Or my mother was just that oblivious, or maybe she just didn't care. Probably the latter.

I sat there, looking down to my hands and deciding my fingernails were too long when Esme spoke up, shocking the hell out of me. "So, how've you been, Bella?" She asked, lifting her gaze briefly from the magazine in her hands.

"I'm fine. You?" God, I am such a moron.

"Been better." She didn't look up from her magazine this time. "I think it's a wonderful idea, traveling to Euro-" I can't tell whether it was the fact that she's been like a second mother to me, or me feeling as if I was somehow betraying her by having ended things with her son and moving on so fast but, whatever it was, I exploded. I told her in a rant that wouldn't have been possible if I just hadn't reached my limit that Edward and I had not been together for few months already, I told her he cheated on me, I told her how I knew something had been wrong, I told her how I found out, I told her how unfair it was that he wouldn't leave me move on until recently and I told her how much, _how badly_, her son had hurt me.

And surprisingly so, I didn't cry.

She didn't say a word nor looked up from the magazine until I was completely done. She took a deep breath and closed the magazine before looking up.

"I know." She said with her head slightly tilted to the side, concern clear on the way she frowned and her lips pursed. The confusion must have been obvious on my face because she added, "The part you had broken up, at least. I had no-" Apparently, the distance between the living room and the kitchen was enough for my rant not to be heard, because Mom walked in, carrying my lunch along beverages for Esme and herself on a tray, smiling. And completely oblivious. _Or careless_.

"I hope you don't mind Bella eating with us while we talk, she has developed a habit of not eating at school, or breakfast anymore, so I need to make sure she eats something before dinner." I scowled at the plate in front of me. I was hungry; I would have eaten even if she hadn't been home. Besides, I hated she felt the need to watch me.

"Of course not. I can't even count how many times I've have Bella over for lunch." My scowl might have increased a teeny tiny bit.

They talked for the rest of the afternoon, pretty much planning a trip I wasn't sure I wanted anymore, with little to no input from me but I still wouldn't be allowed to leave. I don't know how long I sat there, looking one spot until it became blurry and then changing onto another but eventually, Esme announced she had to leave and we all stood up, I was heading to my bedroom but the phone chose that moment to rang and Mom asked me to walk Esme out. As if she didn't know this house just as much as I did.

"I'm sorry, Bella." She said, not meeting my eyes, as she buttoned her coat.

"_What_?"

"I'm sorry that Edward hurt you. I really am." She looked up at me and I frowned, why _on Earth_ was she sorry? "I guess I haven't done a good job raising-"

"_Whoa_! Esme, really, is not your fault or Carlisle's he did what he did. I mean... It... was _his_ choice."

"Thanks, Bella." She said with a sigh and turned to open the door. "In case it makes you feel better," She added, now on the other side of the threshold. "He's been miserable."

I gaped at her, not believing what she was saying. "It doesn't make me feel better. Not at all. How could you _even think_ that?" My voice rose slightly, but, in my defense, I was deeply hurt by what she had said. "You know, hell, _everyone_ knows how I feel about him, and despite everything I _want_ him to be happy. If I couldn't be that person to him, well, _fine_, he deserves someone nonetheless. So do I. And yes, I'm _pissed off_ he didn't have the guts to do it the right way and breaking things off with me first, but that doesn't mean I want him miserable. Because I _don't_."

She smiled -_smiled_!- tapped my shoulder and left.

God! What _is_ the problem with the Cullen's?

* * *

**EPOV**

I was pacing the living room, a hand tight around strands of hair and the other fisted by my side. Sounds were coming out of the kitchen and I got even more frustrated with each passing second.

"Emmett!" I yelled for him to hurry the fuck up. I was going insane. Felix and I talked on Tuesday, it was Friday now and I was _literally_ going insane. I had just gotten back the ability to sleep out of habit rather than out of exhaustion but now, with _this_? Coffee had become my best friend.

"What's up, Cullen? Calm down." He said walking into the living room with a plate on his hands.

"Really?" I narrowed my eyes at him at the impossibly huge sandwich on his lap. "You only came so you could assault my fridge, didn't you?"

"What can I say? Unlike yours, my momma can't cook so she doesn't keep the fridge stashed, like yours."

"God! Emmett!" I ran a hand through my face and wondered why I had even thought of calling him. Oh, right. "I know you can be a mature person. Please. I need _that_ Emmett right now." I wasn't above of begging. I have had enough. I couldn't turn off my brain, and it was all focused on what Felix had told me. I mean, I could easily ignore it altogether, she did ask me to stay out of her life after all and, in a way it was the easy way out. If I ever wanted to move on, I just had to disengage myself of everything related to Bella in my life but... I couldn't help it. What I felt for her was not going to just fade and I couldn't just turn my feelings off -God knows my life would be easier if I could- so, I was still in love with her and I didn't want her hurt. Especially not by this.

Again.

God, that guy was really an asshole. So was I, but he was even asshole-r than I had been. He _knew _she had been cheated on before and she trusted him enough not to do that to her, too, but what does he do? Go and cheat on her.

_Fucking bastard_.

"Sorry, sorry." Emmett said, smoothing a hand down his crumbs-filled shirt. "You know how I get when Rosalie dumps me." If I was a better person I would have asked him what happened with Rosalie but A) I was a lousy excuse of a human being, B) He would not give any concrete answer, C) This happened every few weeks, and D) I had called him claiming I needed help _ASAP_, so he knew I wouldn't be on the advice mood, not that I ever am.

God, Cullen, _what_ is wrong with you?

"It's Bella."

He groaned. "What stupid thing did you do know? You _just_ got rid of Tanya, Edward, how worse can it get?"

Other than cringing at his tone, I didn't acknowledge his comment. "I didn't do anything, asshole." I spat and he motioned with his hand for me to continue as he chewed on what probably was half the content of my kitchen. "You know Felix's brother, right?" He nodded. "Well, he and Biers both go to the same school in Seattle."

"To the point, man!" He whined between bites.

So I blurted it out. "Biers is cheating on Bella."

"What?" He yelled, causing me to gag when everything in his mouth came out onto Mom's carpet.

"You have to clean that shit up, Mom's already pissed off at me." For no apparent reason. She just came home yesterday, her eyes watering when she saw me only to turn into a permanent glare during dinner which led Carlisle to fire question after question of what I have done to my mother.

"Yeah, yeah." He muttered, reaching for the napkins he had the decency to bring out along his monster of a sandwich. I sat on the couch as he kneeled to clean his mess up. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah." I ran a hand through my hair, gripping the ends and tugging on them. "I really have no idea how to handle this." He stopped cleaning and looked up at me.

"Why do you feel it's something _you_ have to handle?"

"I can't just sit and do _nothing_, Emmett! That motherfucker is gonna hurt her!"

"I thought you were trying to stay away from her." I glared at him. "_Just saying_." He stood up, with the napkins on his hands and walked into the kitchen. "Besides," He yelled from the kitchen. "You did the same to her." He lowered his voice as he uncapped a bottle and sat across me.

"I know." I hissed at him, my eyes so narrowed it was a miracle I could still see anything.

"Let's be real, do you think she's gonna believe _you_?" I crossed my arms over my chest and looked away. "You don't even know whether it's true or not."

"I don't see why Felix would lie about something like that."

He scoffed. "Right, Edward. Because the guy have no reason to get you on Bella's bad side."

"What?"

"Nothing." He stood up and headed for the door. "You wanna tell her?"

"Ye-"

"Let's go, then."

"Where?" I asked, jogging up behind him to catch him as he jumped into his car.

"_Tyler's_"

* * *

**So... Can anyone tell me why Esme smiled? **

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

* * *

**Action & Reaction**

**Chapter 25**

******You are far****  
When I could have been your star  
You listened to people  
Who scared you to death  
And from my heart  
Strange that you were strong enough  
To even make a start  
You'll never find  
Peace of mind  
Till you listen to your heart**

**People**  
**You can never change the way they feel**  
**Better let them do just what they will**  
**For they will**  
**If you let them**  
**Steal your heart from you**  
**People**  
**Will always make a lover feel a fool**  
**But you knew I loved you**  
**We could have shown them all**  
**We should have seen love through**

******Kissing A Fool – Michael Bublé**

**BPOV**

"Long time, no see, Bitch."

"I am not even going to acknowledge you until you take that back." I leaned over to the table, picking up my glass.

"Okay, okay!" Rosalie laughed, slapping me softly on the arm. "Long time, no see, _Isabella_."

"Much better," I smirked at her, taking a sip of my drink before continuing. "_Lillian_."

"Ugh. Asshole." She took my drink from my hands, taking a sip, her face twisting up in disgust before thrusting it back on my hands. "I forgot you don't drink." I didn't point out that I had drunk before. Once. "That coke is not even diet."

"Whatever, Rosalie."

"So... We have not talked in a while."

"Ehh," I shrugged, feeling like a jerk because I haven't even noticed.

"Yeah, now that girl that looks like she should be half her age is always around you."

I refrain from saying anything about her comment of Alice, knowing it would cause her dislike to just grow bigger. "Not always, Rose." I scan the room quickly, smiling when I notice Alice is with Tyler -shamelessly flirting- and then Jasper from across the room, gripping a bottle so hard it looks it may snap at any second now. "Her name is Alice, by the way." I say, pulling my phone out of my purse.

_**You should see J's face. He's probably going to twist Tyler's neck. -B**_

"So, where's Emmett?" I ask, trying to somehow make up for my apparently MIA recently status.

"Agh." She crossed her arms over her chest. "How would I know?"

I turned around to face her. "_Again_, Rosalie?" I said, even though I do not need to. My expression says it all.

"Yeah, well..." She shrugged and looked away briefly before looking back at me. We've been friends for years and I know that when she has that expression -lifted eyebrow and lips on a thin line- she is pretty much begging me to drop the subject (in her own weird Rosalie way) or she is just going to change the subject. I looked down to my phone when it beeped. "He was with your man here early."

_**Mission completed, then. -A **_

Since I am too busy texting Alice back my conversation with Rose becomes automatic, so I am not actually thinking when I said "Yeah? Didn't see him."

And I am not actually thinking when I linked Rose's words to a copper brown-haired, green-eyed boy.

* * *

_"We are going to go to bed, goodnight everyone." Mom said, halfway through the movie, standing up and dragging Dad -who had already fallen asleep an hour ago- behind her, not before smiling mischievously my way. _

_When the movie was over, Carlisle yawned, kind of fake I must add, and nudged Esme on her side. "Let's go, Dear." _

_"But-" Carlisle gave Edward a brief nod and Esme smiled, standing up. "Goodnight, kids." _

_Oh my God, could they be more obvious? _

_"Night, Mom." Edward said just as awkward as I was. I couldn't even see them. _

_I mean, yeah, I know Edward and I were kind of obvious and have been awkwardly dancing around each other for few weeks now, but... I understand my mom somehow finding the way to get involved in this, even Esme but, Carlisle, too? That was just plain embarrassing._

_"So... Wanna watch another movie?" Edward asked, standing up and heading to the DVD._

_"Um, sure." I pulled my legs up to my chest, tugging my hoodie over my knees and down my calves. That's how nervous I was. _

_Edward wasn't any better, though, shifting positions until with a resigned sigh he just sat stiffly next to me. "I put Pirates if the Caribbean, is that okay?" _

_"Yeah, I love Johnny Deep." _

_"Oh,"_

_The thing with that movie is that, at least the first one, is sort of dark, so the moments were the room would light up were brief and far between, do I guessed it was the darkness that was creating this... Atmosphere. I swear, the tension was so thick there was a fog around the room._

_And the fact that our parents -sans my dad- were pretty much pushing us together wasn't really helping with the awkward factor._

_I sighed heavily when I noticed that the movie had been on for a little over an hour and I had not actually watched it. I stretched my legs and, not knowing what to do with my hands I tugged on the end of the sleeves and tucked them into the pockets of my hoodie. _

_Out of nowhere, I felt two cold fingers gripping my chin and turning my face before lips were on the corner of mine, barely touching them. I froze, I surely was not expecting that. Edward froze, too, in front of me before turning hurriedly and running a hand through his hair._

_"God! I am such an idiot." He mumbled to himself before turning to face me. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I thought you liked me like that, too. I am so, so, so-"_

_"But I do." I honestly don't know what drove me to say it. Whether it was that tingling on the right corner of my mouth or how the color of his eyes was suddenly so warm._

_"Yeah?" He smiled this little smile that was kind of shy and kind of sweet and kind of...everything. I nodded, with the movement I realized I had my glasses on. I wanted him to kiss me, really kiss me, but I just felt like a dork with my glasses, ratty hoodie and Hello Kitty pajama pants. "Then I feel like an idiot because I can't even kiss you right." And then the TV screen lighted up the room enough for me to see the tips of his ears a deep red. Good to know there are other human beings that blush. "Bella?"_

_"Huh?" I shook my head, blushing, too when I realized I had zoned out._

_"I... I asked... I... Can I try again? You know... K-kissing you." I suppressed that urge in me to correct him -you should say, _May_ I try again?- and simply nodded. _

_His hand came to the side of my face, his thumb tracing my cheekbone. "You just... make me so nervous, B." And this time, when his lips touched mine, he got it right..._

_Kissing me with my glasses on and all._

"God, I love kissing you." Riley whispered as he pulled away for air. Feeling guilty for having thought of Edward for the entirety of the kiss -and probably even night- I placed my hand on the back of his head, pulling him closer again.

Last night, after Alice's plan backfired on her and Jasper left with another girl, she insisted that I stay with her -moral support and all that- so this morning when I woke up and wandered through the house looking for Alice, I found Riley on the table with a bowl of Trix in front of him.

"You look nerdy, Cutie." I pushed my glasses up my nose self-consciously, failing at glaring since I was actually happy to see him. So, I haven't been home since yesterday before I left for school.

Alice was locked in her room listening to a mix of angry and sad songs and her mom had a shift at the hospital which left Riley and I on his living room's couch, watching a movie we haven't really watched. Which is why I had been thinking of Edward. This movie thing was so... _Us_...

Agh. _Again_.

In an attempt to erase all thoughts of Edward from my mind I tangled my fingers on his hair, and when it didn't really work because his hair was too short in comparison to-

_Oh, godammit!_

I lowered one hand to his nape and the other went to his chest as I kissed him more passionately. He caught on quickly, tilting his head to the side and placing a hand to the back of my head, keeping me close and deepening the kiss. And with the way his fingers caressed my scalp and his tongue explored my mouth I effectively forgot about Edward for a second.

Just a second.

Apparently, though, a second was enough for him to wrap an arm around my waist and lower me so my head was over the armrest with his body covering mine. Okay, it's okay. But then the hand that wasn't holding him up, wandered down my thigh, stopping at my knee to curl his hand around it and lifting it over his hips.

_Okay, it's okay_.

I had to remind myself that it took Edward and I a while to get to this because we were younger and we hadn't seen anyone seriously other than each other. I also had to remind myself that Riley was older than me and maybe for him it was normal.

But no, it wasn't okay.

I moved my hands to his chest and pushed him away, he didn't drop my leg, though. "What? Is something wrong?" He asked, his thumb caressing my leg over my jeans. I supposed it was bound to be soothing, but it wasn't. At all.

"No, no." He reluctantly sat back when I pushed a little bit more forcefully on his chest. "Just... Let's just keep this-" I motioned between us. "-vertical." Yes. Vertical was good. Vertical didn't freak me out.

"Um, 'kay." He ran a hand through his hair. "What happened?" I turned so my side was facing him and put some distance between us.

"Nothing, just..." I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and tried to come to a conclusion of why I had stopped him. I really didn't have it other than not feeling ready, which was kind of lame since I had already had sex. "_Nothing_."

**EPOV**

_Okay, you can do this. You just have to walk up to her-_

_No. I can't do it. Emmett's right. She won't believe-_

_Dammit, Edward! Just fucking do it. _

_Right. You look like a fucking yo-yo. She's alone now, I can easily go talk to her-_

_Oh! Who are you kidding? We all know you are not going to do it._

"Wuss!" Emmett laughed as I walked back outside. That son of a bitch _knew_ I wouldn't do it.

* * *

"So," He started, smiling -_dumbass_- "Are we _really_ gonna do this?

"Yes." Yes. You will do it this time, Cullen. Is not like it involves her directly or anything.

God, I need to stop talking to myself.

Yeah, it is kind of weird, Man.

"Okay, then." Emmett yelled over the sound of the bell indicating lunch was over. "I fucking mean it, Edward." He pushed the door to the parking lot open, jumping onto the stairs rail and sliding down to the last step. "I'm ditching class for you, Man -we're taking my car- if someone tells the Coach, he won't let me stay to the practices."

"I know, I know." I placed a hand over the roof and jumped inside the jeep. "Is not like I have to talk to someone this time." I muttered to myself.

_Wuss, indeed, my friend._

_Oh! Shut the hell up! You didn't have to tell your ex her new boyfriend is a scumbag._

_She is my ex, too._

"Let's do it, then." Emmett grinned at me. He enjoyed driving way more than he should.

_For the record, you are a scumbag, too._

* * *

"What are we looking for?"

"Black Escalade. Tinted windows. Quick-fucking-silver sticker on the back." I whispered from behind my very clichéd newspaper.

"Stalker much?" Emmett stopped his very clichéd feeding of the pigeons to smirk at me.

"Sometimes I seriously wonder why we are even friends."

"Because no one would do this for you. I love you, too."

"Ugh." I lowered my paper to look at him so very, very briefly. "Thanks, though."

"No problem, kid." I looked at him incredulously.

"I am older than you, _kid_."

"For, like, a month."

"Still older."

"I'm smarter."

"No you are _not_." By now we are staring at each other, my paper still in front of my face and his hand extended, pigeons below it.

"Yes I am."

"No you a-"

"Why are we here, my _oh-so-smart_ friend?" He asked smiling smugly.

"Fuck you." I turned back to my paper, flipping the page with disgust when I realize I am 'reading' something about this actor Bella was crazy about.

And, just for the record, I am better looking than him.

And Riley-fucking-Biers

I luckily looked up then because I see Biers slinging a messenger bag over his shoulder, walking down the corner of the building we are sitting right across of. I shot up from the bench, balling the paper and throwing it at Emmett when he remains sitted.

"Emmett!"

"What?" He didn't look up.

"Riley just got out. Let's go!"

"But..." He lifts his half-full bag and pouts, nodding to the pigeons.

"Let's fucking go." I hissed and his pout grew more ridiculous as he empties the bag on the ground, whispering something to the pigeons.

I smacked my hand on my forehead. "You are a severely damaged human being, Emmett McCarty." I should have done this alone. Rosalie dumped him so he's acting like a goof. It's ridiculous the difference between Rosalie's Emmett and, well... Just Emmett.

I grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and dragged him behind me on the direction Biers left. When we reached the parking lot, I led us to Emmett's car while scanning the lot for a black escalade with tinted windows and a- Gotcha!

"There he is, Em!" He sped after him and my eyes widened. "Dude! What the fuck?"

"What?"

"He's going to see us!" I motioned furiously to the car right in front of us. "Are you fucking stupid?"

He muttered something and then stopped the car altogether. "I don't even know what's our plan, Edward."

"I have to find out whether it is true or not."

"So, we are following him." I nodded and he turned on the engine again, keeping two or three cars of distance between the Escalade and us. "And then what, Edward?" He asked, his voice back to the mature, grounded Emmett I sometimes loved, but mostly found annoying as hell. "Why do you have to know for sure?"

"Emmett," I started, running a hand up my face. "I cannot just leave it like that. I need to do something if he is actually cheating on her."

"_Why_?"

"I... It's just that... I don't know..."

"Well, I do know. And let me tell you, she is not going to take you back because you 'save her'. She is _not_ going to believe you are the lesser of two evils. Even if it is true, and you man up enough to tell her, she is not going to believe you, why should she? If something, she will be convinced that he is not cheating on her. Edward, you have to get over it."

"That is so not the reason I am doing this." It kind of, sort of was, though.

"Fine, but I swear to God, Edward, this is the last time I'll help you out with something related to Bella." I didn't say anything and he sighed. "You can hate me for what I am about to say but... Listen, graduation is in few months, not enough time for you and Bella to really patch things up. You can't keep on dragging this out, leave her alone and by that I don't mean just avoid her at school. I mean, leave her alone for real, Edward. You have to move on."

"Says the guy that's been dumped more than a hundred times."

"The guy got in there." Emmett said, gripping the steering-wheel so hard I was sure he would leave finger-shaped dents. "Your choice. Are you going in or should I drive back to Forks?"

I answered his question by opening the door and slamming it shut once I was out. I was surprised, though, when he got out after me. It was a pharmacy and we looked carefully through the aisles until we found him.

"I think I'm going to be sick." I groaned, turning around, when I noticed he was holding a box of condoms in his hands.

And Emmett laughed. "Extra large?" He scoffed. "Yeah, right."

I got a little bit sicker. "How would you even know that?" We were standing on one end of the aisle, and he was on the other end. "No. You know what? Don't answer that." Frat-Boy headed to the cashier, where a redhead that was smiling way too much for it to _not_ be considered flirting was flipping through a magazine. Biers smirked at her while handing over the box in his hands.

"Ready to go?"

"Yup." He paid and she bagged the box before standing up and going to the back of the store.

"You heard that, man?" Emmett whispered.

I glared at him. "I am not deaf, _man_."

"Where are they going?" He whispered again.

"How would I fucking know, Emmett?" I hissed. Riley was leaning against the magazines rack, smiling down to his phone. Motherfucker was probably texting Bella.

I punched Emmett on his arm. "Let's go." I whispered, nodding to the door.

"But-"

"Oh, for the love of God! What is wrong with you today?" I hissed. "Let's. Go." We got out, Emmett brooding, me fuming and climbed in the car. Emmett turned on the ignition. "Emmett!"

"_What_!" He yelled, looking at me.

"Turn this shit off!" He didn't, so I leaned over and took the keys off the ignition.

"You know what, Edward?" Ooh, he was pissed. "I have no reason to be here. You got yourself into this prob-" I tuned him out. I would rather hear my dad talking to me about school or chastising me about drinking than hear one of my _friends_ lecturing me. "-best interest to stop bossing me aro-"

_Oh, fuck_.

"Shh! Shh! Shh!" I gestured wildly for him to shut up.

"_Stop boss_-"

"_Please_, shut the fuck up, Emmett!"

"Fine!" He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"_Thanks_." I rolled my eyes. This shit was funnier when we were ten and we were just PRETENDING to spy on someone. "Now, _look_."

His eyes widened.

"_Oh, fuck_."

My thoughts exactly.

* * *

"Hey, Dad. What time do you get off work?" Emmett asked, tilting his head to where my hand was holding his phone. He took seriously the no phone while driving thing. Although, if you ask me, what he was doing was just as bad because he wasn't giving his full attention to the street in front of us.

"Hey, Champ! Why do you ask?" Emmett usually drives here to Seattle on Saturdays to spend some time with his dad and when he can't, Tom usually drives down to Forks to at least have dinner with him. Yeah, Em's parents were the kind of couple that couldn't be put in the same room without lashing at each other. "Wait, shouldn't you be at school?"

"We got off early, Dad."

"Uh, huh."

"I'm in Seattle, Dad. Wanna meet up?"

"Sure, Son. Just go to the house, I'll be there soon." He hung up and I handed to Emmett his phone.

"Thanks for coming with me."

"It's okay, was the least I could do."

"Huh," After the Escalade drove away from the store I decided we had done enough for a day. We were heading out of Seattle when Emmett asked if we could go to his father's house for a bit and there was no way I could say no. However, we hadn't acknowledged what we saw on the parking lot and for that I was thankful. I couldn't deny that Emmett was right; I just didn't want to face it. "So, are you going to tell her?"

I sighed deeply. We hadn't acknowledged it, until now. "I... Should I do it?"

"Dunno. That's up to you. I would tell her but we are not really that close."

"Damn, thanks." I said sarcastically.

"If I tell you to do it and it goes wrong you're gonna blame it on me, and vice versa. So it is up to you."

"I..." I sighed. "I think you are right."

The rest of the way he didn't say anything, but for once I wanted him to say something; I didn't want to be able to think. "The Coach offered me to co-coach the rookies."

"Yeah, I know."

"How? I mean, why?"

"He is worried about you; he asked me if I thought it was a good idea."

"And you told him it was?"

"Well, yeah. Edward, you barely go out of your house."

"Well, not your business, Emmett."

"I know."

"Then?"

"I didn't give him the idea, Edward. He just asked me if it was a good one."

"Whatever."

* * *

It had gotten dark by the time we hit the 'Welcome to Forks' sign, Emmett was sleeping soundly beside me after having asked me to drive. Of course Tom didn't believed Emmett when he had said we have had a short day so when Tom asked and Emmett started sweating I just told him. Emmett's parent got divorced a little over three years ago, but Tom had moved out just last year so he, too, had seen Bella and I when we were together. He told me I was stupid for letting 'such a sweetheart' go. He was right, of course, but the speech was getting old and tiresome. He asked me if I was going to tell her, and when I told her I had no idea what to do all he said was: "And that's why they say curiosity killed the cat."

Both McCarty men were so annoying and frustrating.

We stopped by the school and I climbed into my car, heading home. Mom asked me where I had been and Dad glared at me when I ignored the question and kept on walking up to my bedroom. I showered and headed to the roof outside the attic.

I had decided that I would stop drinking, but right then I felt as if I needed it, to clear my mind. However, I could not go downstairs and steal one of the bottles from the bar because, a) Dad was downstairs, and b) Dad had locked it.

I honestly had no idea how to proceed with this new, one hundred percent true now, information. Bella probably would not believe and end up hating me even more. Riley could easily take me down in a fight so it was not possible either. I could talk Emmett into convincing Rosalie, but, if she hadn't done it when it was me, why would she do it now?

I couldn't do anything. And for a very brief, sick, second I felt thrilled that Riley was cheating on Bella, smug even. I mean, Bella dumped me because I cheated on her and then she goes off and gets a guy that's pretty much perfect. Except for the fact he's just like me.

_Yeah, smug suited me just fine._

* * *

"Hello Alice Brandon." I leaned on the locker next to hers, smiling.

Okay, the smugness lasted more than one very brief and sick second.

"Hello Edward Cullen." She said warily, looking at me through the corner of her eye as she tucked a book inside her bag.

"So, s'up?"

"What?"

"I was wondering, why do you hate me so much?"

"Wha- I can't hate you, I don't even know you."

"Then enlighten me, why are you so hell bent on making my life unlivable?"

"I didn't do such a thing."

"Oh, but you did." She looked up, really up, at me. "Because of you the girl I am crazy in love with, won't even look at me."

"Oh, no, no." She laughed. "You did that, all by yourself."

"I disagree. If you hadn't meddled on something that was in no way related to you, Bella and I would have at least tried to work things out."

"That's not true." Her voice wavered and I mentally high-fived me.

"It is. You know it. She knows it. I know it. Even your fucking brother knows it." She shifted her weight to her left leg and I took this as my cue to continue. "You wanna know something?" I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I guess you are going to tell me anyway."

"You are right. So, here's the thing. Your brother is a bastard. He's even worse than me. And he's doing something really, really, really, _really_ wrong to Bella."

"Listen Edward,-"

"No. Let me finish. He's an asshole. So am I. But he's even worse. You have to stop Riley and Bella's relationship before it gets ugly."

"_Right_." She scoffed. "Why would I do that?"

"Because... When things between them go wrong, you will think back to to today and wished you had just listened to me. That is, of course, if you truly are Bella's friend."

"Ed-"

"Mark my words, Alice _Biers_. Your brother is going to hurt her."

* * *

"What did you decided?" Emmett asked, nudging me on the ribs.

"I'm not going to tell her." He nodded approvingly. As if I needed approval.

"Why?" I knew he wouldn't like my answer.

"If I have one tiny chance of Bella forgiving me, I can't be the messenger. It always goes bad for the messenger."

"Edward." He said sternly. I hated when he talked to me as if I was a kid being scolded.

"What?" And I hated that he made me answer like a whiny kid being scolded. He opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to it. "I know it's almost impossible she'll ever take me back. But it's the almost part that is keeping me half sane."

"I thought you were going to leave her alone."

"And I am. I haven't talked to her since Thanks-"

"_Yo'_!" I jumped a little when Jasper jumped on my back.

"Get off of me, Asshole!" I tried to throw him to the floor but he had a death grip on my neck. "Emmett, help!" He just kept on laughing, along half the school that had seen this really weird... Thing_? _I threw my torso forward and Jasper fell down from my back, hitting his head on a locker.

"Ouch." He said rubbing his head after flipping me off. "I just wanted to tell you that you owe me fifty bucks."

I frowned, extending a hand to help him to stand up. "Why?" As we started walking again I noticed Bella had been watching the weird exchange. I smiled when I caught her eye and she ducked her head walking into a class. But I swear to God I caught her smiling back.

"I got Alice to go out with me, Dude!" I barely remembered making a bet with him so I pulled out my wallet, completely on a Bella-induced daze, and took out the bills I had and counted.

"I only got thirty-five on me." I handed over the money and Jasper balled the perfectly straight bills and pocketed them.

"You owe me."

"Yeah, yea-"

"_You_..." Emmett trailed off, disgust clear on his face. "You are both so stupid. No wonder you are single."

As he walked away, Jasper and I yelled. "You're single, too!"

He turned around, smiling cheekily as he continued walking backwards. "Not anymore, fuckers!"

I briefly looked to where Bella had been, worried she had seen _this_ exchange, and it clicked in what class she had gone into. I had been avoiding at all costs going into that class because Bella and I had to sit together but today...

Today seemed to be a good day.

* * *

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs**


	26. Chapter 26

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

* * *

_**Action & Reactions**_

_**Chapter 26**_

**I can pretend that I don't see you,****  
I can pretend I don't wanna hold you when you're around,  
(When you're around)  
I can say that nothing was right,  
But we know if I looked in your eyes I'd break down,**

**If I could, have just one night, to be with you, and make it right,**  
**To what we were, and what we are,**  
**It's hidden in the scars,**  
**If I could, take you there,**  
**I won't let go, this I swear,**  
**You won't have to wonder what we are,**  
**Cause you won't have to ever look to far,**  
**It's in the scars, Its hidden in the scars,**

**If I told you that I love you,**  
**But I'm doing alright without you it'd be a lie, But I could try,**  
**I'd run 1000 miles, believe me,**  
**You're the only one, I want to bring me to break down,**

**Yeah I'll tell you all my secrets,**  
**All the ones I've kept inside,**  
**And I'll give you all the reasons,**  
**That you faded from my life,**  
**I won't let you go, baby come here close, I won't let you walk away**

**Scars – Miley Cyrus **

**EPOV**

"_Shit_." I hissed, my body tilted to the side in vain. I mean, I know the car won't turn faster just because I am moving my body. _I know_. But I just couldn't help it. Honestly, I didn't even know the name of the game I was playing. I frowned, restarting the race and squaring my shoulders, as if it would make me win it this time, the _tenth_ time.

Half hour later, just as I was about to throw the controller –I _swear_ it was broken and that was why I couldn't win- to the TV, my Nonna came into the living room and sat beside me on the couch, patting my knee as she told me that my parents were just half an hour away. I tried not to think of what that meant, but it was _there_, plain as day.

_Bella_.

I truly believed this was just a plan of my dad to make me uncomfortable and a plan of the Chief to make me suffer. I know we've been spending holidays together for almost a decade but… I don't know. It was just _weird_, and they _all_ already knew Bella and I weren't together. So, if this wasn't a way to torture me, I had no idea what this was. Probably we would have ended up locked in a car together, because Renée is _green_ like that, so trying to avoid it I drove here with my grandparents two days ago. I honestly have no idea where were we, I had slept most of the trip, and when I wasn't I pretended to be so I didn't have to answer the questions I've been getting from everyone recently. I only knew it was this little town more deserted than Forks –_Impressive_- and that my grandparents have owned this cabin for years. And, anyway, is not like I needed to know anything else. I planned on staying indoors until we had to go back home.

_And I had a game to win._

"Uh," I said, pretending I didn't care and changing the subject quickly. "Why do you have a Play Station?"

She shrugged, "No idea. Probably it's your grandfather's." I chuckled, shaking my head and turning off the console.

I rubbed my face and pretended to yawn. "I'm going to take a nap." I stood up and stretched , this was not for effect, I had been sitting for hours trying to win an unwinnable game.

"_Edward_." She admonished, knowing the real reason I was going to hide in my room. It was just… I tried talking to her. No begging for forgiveness or a chance to explain, or ask her to dump frat-boy. No. It was just a simple, mundane and common conversation I was trying to initiate. At first she pretended she wasn't listening, then she did answer but it was all… not her, so I gave up and decided I was better off sleeping the entire period. "You won't be able to avoid her during two weeks."

"I know." I said, looking at her as if she was saying the stupidest thing ever. "And I don't intend to."

"Sure." She smirked at me, the wrinkles around her mouth more prominent with the action,

"I meant it."

"I know."

"_I mean it_."

"_I know_." Her smirk only grew and I have to admit I saw a lot of myself in her right then.

Not able to stop a smile from creeping onto my face, "_Whatever_."

* * *

_Knock-knock._

I puffed out some gray air as someone knocked on my door. Probably my mom. When they arrived she just barged into the room, demanding me to _grow up_ and go downstairs. I still had no idea what was wrong with her -I would blame it on menopause but she still had few years left- she went from hating my guts to loving me unconditionally. When she noticed my eyes were closed and after ghosting her fingers behind my knee where she knew I was ticklish -I have no idea how I didn't laugh- she left the room quietly.

So, after locking the door, I grabbed my Marlboro box out of my bag and climbed out of the window to sit on the roof. It wasn't the same as it was back in Forks, in fact, I couldn't move away from the wall without falling but it worked.

Until she appeared on my line of sight.

She was walking to the gazebo in the middle of the yard, book under her arm and her bright purple iPod between her hands to see her denim clad legs, her book and her hands when she changed the page.

I am not about to deny the fact I stayed the entire day watching her, until it got dark and she switched her book for her phone. It occurred to me maybe she was texting her boyfriend and that feeling in the pit of my stomach I was so used to by now made its appearance. I loved her. I _still_ loved her and of course it killed me to think of her with someone else. Someone else that was just going to hurt her.

Suddenly thinking of Felix, I threw my head back, closing tightly my eyes, and stretched my legs carefully.

"Hey!" I opened my eyes and, startled, moved quickly my hand to hide the cigarette I was holding between my fingers. Bella was looking up at me, a little smile on her face, as she waved quickly at me. Not sure how to respond, I just nodded her way, the side of my mouth curling up just slightly.

"Hey," I replied softly, unsure she could actually hear me.

"What are you doing up there?" She placed her hand above her eyes. What? Was she not allowed to talk to me back home?

I should have been _thrilled_ that she was even looking at me without scowling but in reality I was getting a little angry that _she_ was talking to me like _I_ hadn't tried to talk to _her_ before.

I lifted my hand, showing off the cigarette. "Smoking." I brought my hand up to my face to take a drag just for effect.

"Oh," She pursed her lips and lowered her hand. I knew it would upset her. "See you later then." She walked into the house and I threw cigarette down the roof, groaning.

Completely frustrated with myself -_and her, specially her_- I climbed back into the room and tugged furiously on the neck of my shirt, deciding that taking a shower was a better way to waste my time.

An hour later, I was lying on the bed with my earbuds on, when my mom barged into my room again and slapped my knee before tugging angrily on my earbuds.

"What the-" I jumped to a sitting position.

"Downstairs."

"What?" I looked up at her and noticed she was _really_ pissed, couldn't she just tell me what the hell had I done wrong?

"Now, Edward Anthony." She stormed out of the room and I frowned looking down to my iPod to turn it off and then took my time to wrap the earbuds around it.

And all the drama for what? For dinner. Considering I had been locked into my room all day I had to say hello to everyone. It appeared everyone had been in the living room since they were all standing around. I nodded at my dad and he gave my shoulder a squeeze on his way to the table.

"Chief," I stretched my hand and he grunted something before he took it, pressing his fingers a little too tightly. Renée came behind him and did the same with his forearm, in a warning; I tried not to smile as he grunted again and hurried off to the table.

"Edward!" She surprised me by enveloping me in her arms. "I haven't seen you in ages." She pulled away and patted my cheeks. God, this is awkward. "You're too thin, child." She left before I could say something, not that I had any idea how to answer to that.

This was all just so weird. I mean, it always used to be kind of awkward because Charlie didn't like me and _everyone_ knew it, but this? This was just plain weird.

Bella caught my eye from across the room, she was pressing the keys in her phone furiously. "Bella," I said as a greeting, digging my hands into my jean pockets. We had talked earlier already but when she looked up, not stopping the movements of her fingers across the keyboard of her phone, my heart did this weird thing in my chest where it skipped a beat and then went way too fast as she smirked at me.

"Hey, _child_."

* * *

"What are you wearing?" I asked as I sat beside her, leaving enough space between us so I wouldn't be too tempted to touch her. After a deliberate discussion with my conscience on the night Bella got here, I decided that I didn't care why she hadn't talked to me when I had tried to talk to her but now she was acting like nothing, and I mean _nothing_, ever happened between us. It didn't matter. I was going to take as much as I could. And enjoy it.

"Mom placed it on my head on her way out." My heart started hammering against my ribcage at the reminder that we were alone. I didn't even know why they had left; I had grown surprisingly talented at tuning out people around me.

"Uh," I nudged the little bell at the end of her Santa hat and chuckled when it ended falling between her eyebrows, she lifted her eyes to see it, smiling and pushing it to the back of her head, before moving her bangs out of her face.

She turned her stare back to the screen of her phone briefly before looking up at me, "Stop looking at me like that." She said in a little voice, her cheeks tinting a light shade of red I hadn't realized I missed so much until that moment.

"Like what?" I said, not moving my eyes from her face. God, I missed her so much.

"Like..." She looked at me out of the corner of her eye. "_That_." Her hands were gripping her phone but I could tell she had no idea what was in it. "You are making me nervous." She whispered, causing goose bumps to explode all over me. I looked at her face for a minute more before turning around, sighing.

"Fine. I won't look at you." I reached for the remote on the coffee table and turned on the TV before standing up and doing the same with the Play Station. I still couldn't win but, in my defense, this time I was too busy paying attention to the pretty girl sitting beside me.

"What are you playing?"

"Dunno."

"Oh."

"Huh." _Wow, most intelligent conversation ever_. "So, what did you ask for Christmas?" Anything to keep her talking to me.

"Um, a new phone."

"Cool."

"What about you?"

You. "Nothing."

"Huh." Silence. Silence. Silence. "Can I play?"

I turned to see her, did she got prettier by the second? "Um, sure." I handed over the controller. "You are the black car."

"'Kay..." She trailed off. "Can't I change the color?" I smiled, it was such an innocent thing to ask. She probably wanted her car pink.

"Yeah, sure, but you need money to paint it."

"Oh," I realized her fingers were fidgeting over the buttons, not really pressing on them though.

"Here," I said, scooting closer and pointing to a button. "Press it to resume the game."

"Oh! Right." She smiled cheekily, blushing slightly. She pressed the button I indicated and the sounds of the game filled the living room again. "Um..."

"With the joystick, Bells." She looked at me, puzzled, and I scooted even closer doing an internal dance for the excuse to touch her. Okay, it wasn't a _good_ excuse since I could just tell her but whatever. I placed my hands over her and started pressing her fingers softly so the different functions would activate.

It had been _forever_ since I was this close to her, and it was so overwhelming. Her smell, her warmth, _her everything_. I breathed deeply and smiled, how can someone manage to smell _Christmassy_?

"Have you eaten chocolate?" I lifted my eyes, only to find her looking at me already.

"Um..." She blinked couple times and I realized we were pretty much nose to nose. "Drank some... Your grandma gave me some before they left." I nodded, completely lost in her eyes. _I miss you, Baby. And I love you so, so, so, so much. Please, forgive me. I still need you. Baby, please_. "Why?" She whispered, we were so close I could almost taste her. I gulped, looking down to her lips.

"Nothing." I remembered the way her lips felt on mine, how soft they were and how her kisses were always so sweet, no matter what.

"No, tell me." She bit softly her lower lip.

"You just smell like chocolate." And I bet you taste like it, too. I looked up, only to find her looking down at my mouth.

It had been so long, too long. I had her right in front with me and I knew she would kiss me if I was the one making the move. I just knew it, I could see it in the way her eyes were all funny, and how she had linked her pinky with mine or in the way she had leaned over ever so slightly.

"Bella..." I could. I could end the distance between us in less than a second and have her soft lips sweetly kissing me. I moved one hand to the side of her neck, my thumb lingering over the curve of her cheek causing her eyelids to flutter closed.

A part of me was thrilled that, despite everything I had done and everything she had said, I still had this effect over her but the other part, a more powerful part of me, felt such a longing and regret because I knew that yes, I could kiss her, but it would not mean that things between us would go back to normal.

Just as I threw precaution off the window and closed my eyes, moving my fingers to intertwine them with her hair to pull her to me when the door was opened with a slam against the wall.

"Ahem."

I pulled apart and not even two seconds after my hands moved from her, Bella was out of the couch and running up the stairs.

_See? Not going back to normal_.

I rested my elbows on my knees, leaning my head to be held by my hands.

"Um," Dad cleared his throat from the door. "Sorry, Son. You know, for interrupting."

"Yeah." I said just as the rest of the adults walked into the house. Before anyone could ask me what was going on with me I stood up and went upstairs.

* * *

Call me The Grinch, or anything, but when I opened my eyes on Christmas morning all I did was groan, roll to the side and wish for the day to end already. However, the rolling to the side thing backfired on me when I spotted the little bulge on the front pocket of my bag that was thrown by the window. I didn't even know why I had brought it. I should have gotten rid of it already.

Anyway, it's not like I even had a good reason to go downstairs. I knew my parents must have gotten me something, and my grandparents, too, but… I just didn't want to go downstairs.

Knowing it would keep me dead to the world until at least noon, I swallowed some Tylenol and pulled the covers completely over me.

"_Fuck you." I hissed, pulling my pillow over my head. I opened one eye and looked out the window. Dammit, it was still dark! But the ringing of my phone wouldn't stop so I reached blindly for it so I could turn it off but the name of the screen stopped me from doing so. "Baby, why the fuck are you calling me in the middle of the night?"_

"_Merry Christmas!" I chuckled when I not only heard her over the phone but through the wall too._

"_Merry Christmas to you, too."_

"_Can I go to your room?" She asked with this voice I knew she only used when she was all shy and unsure and so incredibly appealing with the rosy tone of her cheeks getting a bit darker._

"_Sure. Don't even ask." I closed the phone and snuggled back into my pillow only to be interrupted thirty seconds later by the sound of my door being opened. I rolled onto my stomach, so I was facing the door and, how is it even possible for someone to look all cute and huggable while at the same time incredibly hot and doable?_

"_Hi," She said shyly and I took some time before I told her to join me in the bed –Yes, Bella, I'll behave- She had this flannel pants that had little wrapped presents all over them and a white wife beater that had an smiling Grinch on it. The better part, tough, was the little sliver of ski that was showing between her shirt and pants. She placed something on the bedside table before crawling into bed next to me._

_"Hi." I whispered, glad that it had only been couple hours since I went to sleep and not enough time to get morning breath. She smiled at me, all sweet and cute. Why can't you make me happy, pretty girl? _

_"I couldn't sleep."_

_"And so you decided to risk my life?"_

_"What?" She giggled in a way that usually bothered me._

_"If your father find us here, he'd kill me." Her eyes widened and she started sitting up. "Hey, I'm kidding." I said, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her body against mine._

_We were in one of those moments where you just stare into each other's eyes and say nothing, but it was just... Perfect. I was really glad that from everything that was starting to get out of control in my head this, holding her close against me, still fell heavenly. _

_"Merry Christmas, Baby." She slid her hand up my chest to my neck, where she started playing with the hairs that had grown too long. _

_In no time we were kissing and even less time, I had rolled so I was half over her. I slid the hand that wasn't holding me up down her side and right back up, slipping it under her shirt and resting it on the curve of her waist. So soft. So, so, so, so soft. _

_"I brought you your present." She said, her fingers on the back of my head loosening their tight hold on my hair. So tight it would have been painful if I hadn't be entirely focused on the feel of her tongue against mine._

_"I got yours, too." I ran my nose down the side of her neck. "It can wait." I can't. God, when was the last time I got laid? I started kissing a spot below her ear and smiled against it when I felt her body shudder underneath me. _

_One of her hands slid below my shirt, pressing softly between my shoulder blades, pulling me closer at the same time her other hand tugged on my hair and brought my mouth back to hers. _

_I might have gotten a little over excited, though. "Edward," She said, her voice changing as I curled a hand around her leg and tried to hitch it over my hip._

_"Sorry. Kissing only. Got it." Yeah, fucking rules I suggested after she decided avoiding me for an entire week after I left a hickey on her collarbone._

_Oh, but I wasn't sorry. Not really. _

_Kissing her was just as good, just as heavenly._

"Edward, Sweetie?" My Nonna peaked her head into the room.

"Yes, Nonna?" I asked groggily, wincing when I noticed how hoarse my voice was. I heard the door being closed and moved a little to the side when she nudged me on the side so she could sit beside me.

"Are you feeling sick?" She asked, placing her hand over my forehead and running it down the side of my face.

"Kinda." I half-lied. I didn't know if it was that I had sleep over twelve hours or maybe those pills I took were making me sick, but I was feeling funny. And I didn't like being sick because for some reason I became a six year old.

"Oh, I was worried when you didn't come downstairs. You used to love Christmas."

"Yeah, when I was five."'

"Don't be a smartass, Edward." She swatted my arm softly and I smiled still with my eyes closed. "Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"'Kay." She kissed the top of my head before walking out of the room. I tried to go back to sleep but after half an hour of just rolling around I stood up and headed for the shower.

When I started feeling more human I went downstairs and sat on the breakfast bar in the kitchen, with a bowl of cereal in my lap. Everyone was out in the back yard being normal and enjoying Christmas. I poured some sugar on my bowl, and then flinched after I brought a spoonful to my mouth -too sweet- when a flash came somewhere from my side. I looked up immediately and couldn't help but smile when I saw Bella's smile behind a camera she held in front of her face.

"What are you doing?" I asked, placing the bowl next to me. I already knew we were not going to acknowledged what didn't happen last night.

She jumped onto the bar next to me. "Look!" She said all excited, nearly bouncing on her seat, she handed me her camera and I tugged a little bit too much on it purposefully since she was wearing that cord so it'd hang down her neck. "Edward!"

"Sorry," I chuckled. "What about the phone?" I asked, looking for the picture of me so I could delete it.

"Don't delete it!" I shrugged, looking the rest of the pictures she had taken. "And... I don't care. The camera is way better!" I turned the lens to her face and she put her hand over her face right as the flash went out.

"It's pretty cool." I said, turning it off and putting the cord thing around her neck again.

"Yeah, I know." She nudged my shoulder with hers. "You need to stop disappearing, Edward. There's only so much I can talk to our parents."

I smiled, shaking my head. "I'll try to keep that in mind."

* * *

"When it's my turn, Bella?" I whined, stretching my legs under the coffee table and resting my elbow on the couch behind us. I was completely fine watching her, and sitting beside her. Completely fine, trust me. The thing was, it started getting weird like an hour ago when my dad saw us sitting here and then Mom just _had_ to go to the kitchen, and then Renée. Charlie was a little bit bolder, though, asking right out what we were doing and raised his eyebrow suspiciously when Bella answered.

I get it, is not normal to see two eighteen-year-old, one of them wearing Christmas pj's, that used to date playing videogames. I get it, but, _come on_! What did they expect? Us to begin fighting? Although I had thought it was highly likely for that to happen. _Us fighting, so weird these days_. _Or_, maybe they expected us to reconcile, but that wasn't so feasible because I was so sure Charlie started jumping on one leg when he found out her daughter was no longer with a mess like me.

Either way, we _weren't_ a show.

"Shh. It's still my turn, I haven't lost yet."

"Because you are not playing!" Really, instead of accepting the tasks so I could play, she went through the streets finding getting money by killing hookers and pimps. Such a lady, my girl -_ex-girl._

"I am getting money to improve the car, shut the hell up." She said seriously, not looking away from the screen once.

"Yeah, like you need to concentrate to do that." I snorted, but she did look concentrated. Her eyes were slightly squinted, her lips pursed and her glasses falling low on her nose. _So cute_.

"_Edward_." She whined, causing me to chuckle.

"Okay, okay. I'll shut up." It didn't last longer than ten minutes, when Mom peeked her head into the living room, asking if we needed anything. Then, it passed between six to eight minutes before I HAD to say something. "Hey, Bella?" I shifted a little, I don't even know why I brought it, even less, I had no idea as to why I put it in my pocket and came downstairs with it.

"_What_, Edward?"

"Listen, it's still Christmas, right?"

"_Yeah_. What is it?"

"I think I have something for you." I ran a hand through my hair, feeling all of my blood going to take residency onto my cheeks. Blushing, Cullen? Seriously?

She stopped staring at the screen but didn't look at me either. "You thi-"

"No. I meant I have something for you.

"Yeah?" She turned her head suddenly to look at me, I turned my head to the front just as fast.

"Yeah... It's stupid... Really... So..." My heart was beating so fast it was ridiculous. I should have just remained quiet and happily watching her.

"I didn't get you anything, Edward." She admitted quietly. "I thought about it but..."

I frowned and shook my head. "No, no, no. You didn't have to get me anything, Bella."

"But you did." She pointed out.

_Yes, because I'm still hung up on you_.

"Not the same." I mumbled and rand hand through my hair. I didn't want us to get into the reason why it wasn't the same with her, didn't want to point out how it was different for her because she HAD moved on while I still wished for her to at least acknowledge my existence. The doorbell rang and Esme literally ran to the door. "Here," I said handing over the little box like I was a five year old. I pretty much threw it at her and looked at my socked feet through the glass of the table.

She started opening carefully, and I wanted her to just rip the paper out, this feeling of... Anticipation plus everything I was feeling was too much.

"Um, Bella?" Mom called out carefully, I turned towards Bella and saw her face light up when she turned to my mom. She jumped to a standing position and ran to the door; I followed her with my eyes and felt my heart go down to my feet as she jumped into Frat-Boy's arms.

_What the hell is he doing here? _

Now, usually when I think that it's all angry and fuck but right now it was just... Freaking longing. I wanted to be him in that moment.

The asshole said something into her ear and she giggled. I turned my head back to my feet, not being able to see anything else between them. On her way to the backyard, Mom squeezed my shoulder and I just shrugged her away.

"Cullen." I lifted my hand over my head as a response. The motherfucker was at least saying hello. Sort of, at least. I knew that tone of voice, in one word he left very clear that Bella was his.

"Hey, I didn't tell you exactly where I was, how did you know?" I heard Bella ask.

"GoogleMaps."

I scoffed, "Not creepy at all."

"Excuse me?" The freak asked. I mean, really? How crazy a person has to be to look someone up in GoogleMaps like that? I stood up and in doing so, I noticed the little box I gave Bella on the floor beside me. _Ouch_. I kicked it under the couch and walked to the stairs, avoiding their gazes. I didn't care if that son of a bitch believed I was weak. He was holding my weakness in his arms.

It couldn't get worse than that.

* * *

I went into town the next day. It was one of those towns like Forks, were everything was up in a street and you could see kids all sticky out of the store, holding melting cones in their hands and everything was homey and shit. I only went there to get more cigarettes.

The girl in the store was at least two years younger than me but way more flirty than even _Tanya_ had ever been. I ignored her for the most part, but then I thought about Riley and Bella and I couldn't help it. She had clearly moved on from me, why couldn't I do the same thing?

Yes, I know that by having these girl against some boxes in the back of the store wasn't moving on. But I just wanted to forget Bella for a moment. I wanted to stop feeling so fucking emo all the time. I wanted to start feeling like myself again.

But with these girl I didn't feel anything. Anything. It was as if I was trapped in a dream and, honestly, all it was for me was being standing in front of her and letting her touch me.

Nothing.

Nada.

Nichts.

Nulla.

I stopped her when her hand went to my pants telling her my little sister was waiting for me. She only left me leave after I had given her my phone number and e-mail. Whatever. I gave her Jasper's. After he was done with Brandon he'd want something to do.

On my way out I took another two boxes.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

My phone beeped in my pocket and I sighed, lifting my hips to get it.

_**I asked you not to disappear. -B**_

I laughed darkly and tucked my phone in my hoodie pocket.

"As if you don't have enough company." I muttered to myself. I was very angry, and so very, very bitter. When I woke up she was gone. When I came downstairs to lunch she wasn't around. When I went to ate dinner, she still hadn't come back.

The little lovebirds spending the day after Christmas together. _So. Fucking. Sweet_.

Okay, I have to admit, half of that bitterness was only caused by the almost empty bottle beside me. I was trying to get better? Fucking hell, I never really cared.

During the last time I went downstairs I inspected my Grandpa's cabinet and took what smelled the strongest with me back here.

I grabbed the bottle again and drank what remained. See? I don't give a fuck. I could die right now from alcohol poisoning and I wouldn't fucking care.

I was done caring. I cared -_care_- for Bella and look where that took me.

Fucking nowhere.

I didn't swallow right away, letting it burn the inside of my cheeks for a moment before allowing it to go down my throat and lifting my middle and pointer fingers in front of my mouth. I had gone through two of the three boxes I got earlier and had started wondering what I would do when I didn't have anything else to drink or smoke.

At least this time I didn't have to worry about anyone barging in and seeing how I was self-destructing myself. Neither of the adults had even the slightest idea how to treat me. I guessed they watched from outside how I retreated to my room like a coward last night.

For some reason, the label of the bottle had become so interesting that I didn't hear the door being opened or someone opening the window until that person was talking to me.

"I texted you." I took a long drag and let the smoke leave out of my nostrils. I was trying to get her to leave. I didn't want her close. Not after she had spend the entire day with him. "Hey, I'm talking to you." She nudged me on my forearm and I cringed. "Edward?" She sounded really offended and I did my damn hardest not to start laughing like a psycho. "Ugh, fine." I widened my eyes as I saw her climbing out of the window and sitting on the other side of it.

"What do you want?" I tried to stop my words from slurring together but it was nearly impossible.

"You've been drinking." She didn't ask, she just stated it. Sounding so fucking disappointed. _You have no right whatsoever to feel that way_.

"What do you want, Bella?" I spat out, and I saw her take a shaky breath.

"You never gave me my present yesterday." She said in a little voice that broke twice.

"I did. It's probably in the same place you left it last night." It was ridiculous to feel like I did. It really was. I mean, I feel as if I could relate to that box. This guy comes and we're both left to ourselves.

She went back into the room, but it never occurred to me that she was coming back, with the fucking box in her hands. "I'm sorry." She whispered once she had sat again. I didn't say anything. "I truly had no idea he was coming, Edward."

"Not my house. Not my problem."

"You know what I mean."

"I don't. I truly don't. You shouldn't be apologizing to me because your _fucking_ boyfriend is a _fucking_ stalker and _fucking_ tracked you down. What am I to you so you would feel as if you have to be here saying _'Sorry'_ to me?" I threw the butt away with a force that let my shoulder stinging slightly. "I'm no one. That's who I am. I should be fucking no one to you. _No one_."

"Edward, stop it, will you?" She said, her anger noticeable in her voice. "I'm here telling you I am sorry Riley came here. _For God's sake!_ I don't even want him here! You'd be ha-"

"You don't want him here?" I yelled. "Are you fucking kidding me! Did you forget already how you reacted when you saw him! I wouldn't be surprised, though." I scoffed, rubbing a fist against my eyes. "You forget easily."

"That... Was nothing."

"For you! Because for me it was fucking everything. Everything that's going on in my head was started by that! One second here," I pointed to my head. "You wouldn't survive _one fucking second_ in here."

"And you think being in my head is easy? Are you out of your mind? Try living with the fact you weren't _enough_ to the person you love the _most_! And then this," She pointed at me. "Do you think it's easy for me to see you like this knowing I'm the reason of it?"

"Oh, _come on_! Don't be so conceited, Bella, the world doesn't revolve around you. Get over yourself!"

"Fine, fine, _fucking fine_!" She threw the box at me, hitting me on my shoulder and I grabbed it before it rolled down the roof. I expected her to leave , really. But she didn't and I could hear her sniffing every few seconds. "I'm sorry I threw the box at you." I shrugged. "Can I have it back?"

"No."

"Okay." I finished unwrapping it and opened the lid of the box to see what was inside.

"It wasn't even a Christmas present." I started.

"What do you mean?"

"It's what I got you for our anniversary." I said, closing the box and balling up the paper before letting it roll down the roof.

"Oh," There was a sadness in her voice that tugged at my heart and made me choke on the lump in my throat. "We didn't even get there."

"Nope, we didn't." I rubbed the knees of my jeans. "I was going to tell you afterwards."

"You were really going to tell me, Edward?" I nodded, looking at my upturned hands.

"I was just waiting 'til the week after you dumped me. Tanya told you because she knew I had plans of telling you."

"_Bitch_." I chuckled slightly, ending it with a sigh.

I didn't know what to say, so I remained quiet. Bella did, too. There were things I needed to get out of my chest and right now seemed a good time to do. "Can we talk? Like, _really_ talk about what happened?" I brought my legs up to my chest, finding some comfort in the movement. "I know you don't want to but, Bella, there's a lot of stuff I need to explain."

She took several minutes before she said anything. I waited for her to say something because I couldn't just start talking if she was not going to really listen to me. I expected her to say no, really but she surprised me. "Yeah, I think it's time we have this conversation." I waited for her to say something because, yes, I wanted this conversation to happen but didn't know how to start it.

"Ask me whatever you want to know."

"Well, I want to know _everything_, Edward."

"Just... Ask me a question, Bella. _Please_."

"Were you really going to tell me?"

"Yes. I already told you that." I frowned, looking at her.

"I know," She shrugged. "Is just that it's kinda hard to believe, you know? I mean, you were with her for over a year." She frowned and shook her head. "Wasn't it just easier to dump me?" She opened her mouth to say something but I stopped her.

"Yes, I was going to tell you. And no, it wasn't easier to leave you."

"_Why_? I... I _just don't get it_, Edward." She whispered so softly it took me few seconds to understand her.

I groaned and ran a hand through my hair. "I... No matter what I tell you, you are not going to believe me."

"Then why do you even bother!" She yelled, frustrated.

"Because... God, this is going to sound so fucking wrong... I need you to understand that it wasn't anything you did, it was all in my head."

She laughed humorlessly. "A more elaborate 'It's not you, it's me'? Really, don't you think I deserve a little bit better?"

"Bella," I turned to look at her, anger boiling my blood but had to bit back my words as I saw she has started crying quietly. Probably I shouldn't have done what I did next but, what was I supposed to do? My girl was there, crying because of me.

I crawled to the other side of the window and she moved a little to the left so I could sit beside her. Just as I did she wrapped herself around my side, her legs folded between my bent legs and stomach, while her hands were around my arm and her head over my shoulder.

I sighed deeply, closing my eyes. "Listen, you'll probably not believe me but you're right. You deserve to hear the entire thing. You know how I feel about my dad, Bella."

"What does he have to do with this?"

"Listen. I liked you, like, I was really crazy about you but I wasn't really ready for the whole serious thing and I got bored pretty fast," She stiffened beside me and I sighed. "Do you want me to stop, Bella?" She shook her head furiously.

"No, go on."

"You asked why I didn't break up with you," I took in a deep breath. "I was going to," She cuddled closer to me and I pressed my lips to the top of her head. "But then my parents started being all proud of me because I was with you. I- I couldn't give that up. You know I pretty much live to please my dad. _Used to_. Whatever."

"So what? That changed your feelings, just like that?"

"Not _just like that_. But yeah, it became some sort of obligation."

"Wow, _thanks_."

"Bella." I sighed, removing my arm from her hold to wrap it around her shoulders so I could hold her closer. "You wanted to know everything. I'm telling you everything."

"Just... Skip to the Tanya part." She wrapped her arms around my waist tightly.

"I was going there anyway." I sighed again. "I was not planning on cheating on you, Bella. That's something you need to understand. It was... Remember that time you were sick and I wanted to go to Tyler's party?" I pursed my lips, realizing how wrong that sounded. She just nodded, though. "I was pretty upset, Ba- Bella." I corrected myself before continuing. "I have never liked fighting with you, and that night it was pretty heavy and you asked me to leave and stuff. I got drunk and the next thing I remember is waking up next to Tanya." She turned her face so it was touching my shirt and I closed my eyes when I felt wetness seeping through.

I shifted so I was looking at her face and lifted a hand to dry her cheeks with my thumb. "I still don't get it. Why did it... Continued?" She repositioned herself again next to me but this time she took my hand in hers and started tracing the lines on it. "I think I would have been able to forgive you if it had been a once-in-a-lifetime-drunken-mistake."

"I dunno... I just... Being with Tanya was the only thing I had absolute control over."

"I... We used to spend the entire day together, Edward, _how_?"

"It wasn't like I had two girlfriends, Bella. This is going to sound awful and all, but it was just sex and I barely ever saw her out of school."

"School?" She screeched, pulling away.

"Well, yeah." I rubbed the back if my neck. "Come here," I whispered, tugging on the side of her shirt. It took her few minutes but she finally relented and cuddled up next to me again. This time I took her hand and intertwined it with mine. "I've missed this so much." I whispered into her hair, tightening my hold around her. I smiled a little when she squeezed my hand and slid her other hand below my shirt. "Do you ever miss me?"

"Yes, of course I do." She lifted her head briefly to kiss me on the cheek. "Do you… I mean… If we had been, you know, having sex back then do you think it would have happened?"

"I don't know. But it wasn't about that. And I think that if you and I had been sleeping together I _would have_ broken up with you. I don't really know, Bella."

"Was that all?"

"Then I fell in love with you and you dumped me." We remained silent for a while before I asked, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you still hate me?"

"What? _No_. I could never hate you." I sighed in some sort of relief. "I loved you way too much." _Loved_. It always was a big deal when she used the past tense. _I still love you, Bella_.

"Uh, and Riley, do you love him?"

"No." She answered right away. "Too soon."

"And in some time?"

"Not like I loved you." I held her even closer to me and buried my face in the crook of her neck while she ran her fingers through my hair. "You said I forget easily and I understand why you would believe that. But I would never want to forget you, maybe what you did to me and even that's a long shot, but you? _Never_. You..." Her voice broke and I pulled away, resting my hand gently on her head and pulled her against my chest.

"Shh, shh." I cooed in her ear. "It's okay, Baby. I got you." But I was just as bad as her, crying into her hair.

Some time later, we pulled apart and out of nowhere her eyes zoned in on my mouth. I couldn't help myself. I tangled my fingers with her hair and pulled her to me.

The kiss started off desperate and needy, her body shifting over me and straddling my lap while her hands rested on the back of my neck, holding my face to her.

Oh God, we are kissing.

I'm kissing Bella.

Bella is kissing me.

_We are kissing!_

I slowed down and pulled apart slightly, kissing the corner of her mouth first, before running my mouth down her neck. "Edward," She whispered between labored breaths and tugged on my hair, guiding my mouth back to hers.

I swear time stopped that second time our lips met. Time stopped as she kissed me so sweetly, her lips slowly moving against mine. "I love you, Baby."

We kissed for a long time out on the roof and when it got too cold we continued inside the room, where things grew heated very quickly and she hooked her fingers on my belt loops -my shirt long since having been removed- and pulled me to the bed for things only to go back to slow and sweet.

_Sweet, sweet love._

* * *

**Hey guys, hope you liked it. Please, please, please review.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 27**

**Loving you isn't the right thing to do****  
****How can I ever change things that I feel?****  
****If I could, maybe I'd give you my world****  
****How can I, when you won't take it from me?****  
****You can go your own way, go your own way****  
****You can call it another lonely day****  
****You can go your own way, go your own way****  
****Tell me why everything turned around?****  
****Packing up, shacking up, is all you wanna do****  
****If I could baby I'd give you my world****  
****Open up, everything's waiting for you****  
****You can go your own way, go your own way****  
****You can call it another lonely day****  
****You can go your own way, go your own way****  
**

**Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac**

**BPOV**

I sighed and snuggled closer to my pillow. My pillow that smelled real nice... And was so warm... And had a _heartbeat_?

Oh, shit.

I tried to move away but Edward's arm around me tightened and he mumbled something in his sleep. I smiled because it was just sort of cute but then I remembered that I shouldn't be here. But I wanted to stay here, so I turned around a little so I could see his face. He was really handsome with his strong jaw and straight nose and his mouth that was just... _So kissable_.

I shook my head; I couldn't believe I had just cheated on Riley. I removed Edward's arm from around me carefully and stood up, starting to look for my clothes. _You have a boyfriend, Bella. A boyfriend! And he is not at all the boy sleeping in front of you_.

Once dressed, I was about to just leave the room but it didn't felt like the right thing to do so I sat on the side of the bed and nudged his shoulder while calling his name. After few minutes he groaned but opened his eyes, smiling in such a way I couldn't help but smile back. "Hey," His smile only grew as he lifted his hand and placed it behind my neck, pulling me in for a kiss. Just like last night, I had no idea, or willpower, to stop him. This was wrong even though it felt completely right. Yes, I can tell everyone -myself included- that I didn't love him anymore but the truth was that I did. I really, really did. And a kiss could completely be my undoing. His hand slid down from my nape to my back and he pulled apart. "Why are you dressed?"

I didn't answer, but I didn't have to. With one look he understood. His eyes hardened considerably, his breathing grew harder and he hastily removed his hand from me before rolling away from under me and to the other side of the bed so his back was facing me.

I reached over to place a hand over his shoulder, his muscles tensed immediately at the contact. "I'm so-"

"_Don't fucking say you are sorry_." He said in a low, lethal voice and I couldn't help it when I cringed away.

"But I am." I whispered.

"Get out." He said with finality in his voice that made a lump find its way into my throat but I ignored it and did as he requested by walking out and back into my room.

I leaned against the door and slid down to the floor. _What is wrong with you, Bella? You can't just go around sleeping with your ex just because. What the hell is wrong with you! What about Riley? Huh? What about yourself? You've been giving hell to Edward for months because he slept with Tanya behind your back, and now you go and do the exact same thing. You're sick. And crazy._ I couldn't help the tears that started running down my cheeks.

Riley shouldn't have come. If he had stayed home as I asked him to do, nothing would have happened. Nothing. Edward and I could still share some kind of friendliness but, now? I just lost that from him, too.

Everything was fine, for God's sake. And now everything was... _Not_.

I was just so relieved when I saw Riley. Not happy. _Relieved_, because with him around I thought I'd be able to... I don't know, resist Edward. I mean, if Carlisle hadn't come in when he did, I would have kissed Edward. Of course it didn't work, put me alone with Edward and something has to happen.

I groaned and hit my head against the door. God. Is just that I couldn't help it. Despite everything, there was still this sense of familiarity that just kept me going back for more, but then... It sounds cliché and all, but it's just that when he touches me I forget everything. It's just the two of us.

"But still!" I hit my head again. "It all still happened." I whispered to myself, thinking about what we talked about last night. I can't say that his explanation wasn't sort of lame. Actually, it was _completely_ lame, but then again, I've always known his relationship with Carlisle was strained at best and in spite of that, Edward works really hard to avoid getting into problem with his dad. So, in that respect it _does_ makes some kind of sense. But still, he could and _should_ have talked to me, I would have understood but _no_. He had to go and fuck Tanya just because 'it was the only thing he had absolute control over'. Just... _What the hell_? There was that, too. If it really hadn't meant shit to him, why was it _only_ her? And for _so_ long?

I sighed deeply and stood up, heading for the shower. What was the point anyway? No matter what he could have told me, it just wouldn't have been enough.

* * *

My finger hovered over the send button, I needed to talk to somebody but, whit whom? I couldn't just tell Alice I had cheated on her brother and Rose... She was _Rose_. She would bite my head off not because I had cheated on Riley, no, she wouldn't be able to care less about it but she'd be pissed because it was Edward.

I heard my mom's voice as she made her way downstairs and trying to avoid having to talk to her when I wasn't in the mood at all, I scurried out to the backyard. Thankfully, I had a book with me and was able to stay outside for as long as I wanted to but in reality, I couldn't have been alone for more than twenty minutes when Riley appeared and sat beside me.

"Hey, Cutie." He said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and kissing my temple. I tried my damn hardest not to flinch away from him.

"Hi, Riley." I said stoically and switched the page.

"What are you doing?"

"Um, re-"

"Let's go out again." He said not even letting me finish my answer. "Huh, what do you say?" I looked up at him, smiling brightly down at me, and I felt a lump forming in my throat as a wave of guilt washed over me.

"Uh... It's a small town, Ri. There's nothing new to do today that we didn't do yesterday already."

"Still, let's go out." He nudged my side so I would turn my face back to his. He placed a soft kiss on my lips and I felt bile rise on my throat. "It's just _weird_, you know? Being in the same house with you parents, your ex _and_ your ex's parents and grandparents." I didn't say anything and he continued. "Don't you think it's weird?"

"You shouldn't have come then." I said, absently minded as I returned my attention back to the book.

"Listen, I know you told me _not_ to come, but Cutie, I was feeling kinda weird knowing you'd be alone with your ex, that still have feelings for you." I couldn't help the ironic smile that curved my lips.

_Oh, Riley, you have no idea_.

* * *

"Can you get me some tea, Sweetie?" My mom asked me as I passed her on the living room.

"Um, okay..." I said, completely freaked out by the smile on her face. But then, as I entered the kitchen I rolled my eyes to myself.

_Oh my God_. Okay, I have always known my mom is completely Team Edward and she probably owns a shirt or something but it was getting ridiculous.

"Hey," I said softly to him and he tensed immediately and dropped something he was trying to take the lid off of. He cursed to himself but didn't acknowledge me. Suddenly very aware of my surroundings, I carefully opened the fridge and took out the jar before turning to grab a glass when I realized Edward was standing facing the glass cabinet. "Um, Edward? I need a glass." He took three steps to the side, still struggling with whatever he had on his hands, but didn't turn to me or anything.

I grabbed the glass and poured some tea on it before putting the jar back in the fridge. I started walking out but then I turned again. "Edward?" He slammed the container against the counter top before turning around and started to walk past me. "Edward, I am talking to you." I said through gritted teeth. Goddamit. He needed to stop acting like a child.

He spun around harshly and turned to stand in front of me, so close that I had to look up at him. I hated when he did that. "Well, too bad I'm not." He made a move to turn around but I fisted the front of his shirt and turned him to me.

"You didn't have a trouble talking to me last night." He looked briefly into my eyes before gripping my fist and removing it forcefully from his shirt before setting both of his hands on either side of me on the counter behind me.

He leaned so we were at eye level; he was so close that our noses were literally touching. "So, _what_? You are going to fuck me today? Because you certainly didn't have any issues with doing _just that_ last night."

I gasped, completely and thoroughly offended. Before I could actually register what was going on, I had already emptied the glass on the top of his head. He backed away, rubbing his forearm against his eyes but before I could walk away he gripped my elbow forcefully.

"Leave me the fuck alone, Bella." I refused to look at him since I could feel tears starting to form in my eyes, focusing on his hand on my elbow instead. I was barely aware that tea drops were falling onto my forearm from his hair, as I noticed that my skin had turned a whiter color in the area surrounding his fingers.

"Edward, you are hurting me." I said tightly, still not looking at him. He loosened his grip on me, not letting go completely though.

"Look at me while I'm talking to you." I didn't look up and he waited for few seconds before letting out a frustrated sigh and gripping my chin with his other hand as he lifted my face. "Fucking hell! Look at me!" I moved my face away from his grip hastily. "You changed your mind. I asked you like a million times if you were sure. _You changed your fucking mind_. If you wanna keep on living under the pretense you are happy with him? Cool. _Whatever_.

"The guy is a fucking prick. And he'll never, _ever_, not in a hundred years from now, feel even an ounce of what I feel for you. So when you are done playing house with your fucking wannabe Ken and realize what you are actually missing out on, don't fucking come to me because I am not waiting around for you anymore.

"Did you hear me? I am _not_ waiting around for you anymore."

* * *

**EPOV**

I punched the wall as another flash of Bella's tear stained face came on. Shit, yes, I was sort of harsh on her but... _Fuck_!

I sat and massaged my soon-to-be-bruised knuckles, leaning my head back onto the couch. Okay, so what if I hadn't necessarily meant every word I said? I was mad and honestly, I didn't even realized what I said until it all have left my mouth. But, fuck, I _had_ my reasons. She initiated that shit last night and even so, I tried to stop it like a hundred times but every time I even opened my mouth to say something she blew me off and kept on kissing me.

_And I was the drunk one_.

So, imagine my surprise when I wake up to the prettiest girl ever whispering my name, same girl that had kept me up most of the night, only to have her look at me with her eyes filled of regret.

It hurt. It fucking _stung_ to have her look at me with those eyes after the night before.

But hell, maybe I just made everything up on my mind. She never really said she had forgiven me, or that she was giving me another chance but, _God,_ actions speak louder than words.

I groaned and tugged on the ends of my hair. This was getting too complicated and I may actually have to follow through with what I have told Bella I was going to do.

It didn't matter whether Bella found out Riley cheating on her tomorrow or a year from now. It was stupid of me to think I could get another chance. That boat had sailed for me a long time ago and it was time to face it.

It made me kind of sick to think about letting Bella finally go but, then again, Bella had let _me_ go a while ago.

* * *

Finally, the day was over. I even smiled at the thought of going home and sleeping the entire afternoon, but then I remembered I had to stay with the Coach. I really regretted accepting his offer to co-coach the new ones. _Really_. They were cool kids and all, but I wasn't build up for controlling six fifteen-year-olds.

It was the third week of January and things were actually better. Somewhat. It had been like a month since I last talked to Bella, or even acknowledged her existence. I started hanging out with my friends again, with its newest addition of Alice –whom I had thought about stepping on only twice- I stayed on the afternoons at the practice, did my homework, I even tried to tone down my smoking, but basically, I just stopped moping around for Bella. It was over and I was learning to deal with it.

It was not an easy task, at all, because I still had to see her at least twice a day –at lunch and English- but that need to pretty much get on my knees and beg for forgiveness wasn't there anymore. After I had stormed out of my grandparents' kitchen, I locked myself on my room and put on music loud enough I was not able to think. Later that day, I got sort of lucky, and when my dad announced he had been called from the hospital, I eagerly offered to come back to Forks with him. During the car ride he tried to have a heart-to-heart with me. I told him about what the Coach had offered me, sort of told him why Bella had dumped me. I actually left it at 'I screwed up big time' but still, he asked me if I had been really in love with Bella and I told him I still was. He even gave me some really good advice and, I mean, it shouldn't have surprised me, my mom was an angel and he was an asshole so he must have been doing something right all these years. It was actually nice, and on top of that, I got to avoid seeing the lovebirds, so it had been a win-win situation.

I slammed the door of my locker, my demeanor having changed completely, after leaving my bag there. So, seeing that neither of us had acknowledged each other's existence, I did not expect her to stand by my side, leaving a lot of distance between us, looking up at me. I couldn't hide my surprise at seeing her there as I took a step back. "Hey." I only raised my eyebrow as a response. I had become a pro at ignoring her while there were more people around us. This, just the two of us, was new for me. She sighed and the little smile that had been adorning her lips disappeared. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you ab-"

"If it's about Christmas… don't." I said seriously, I was done with that. Drunken mistake on my part and… merely a mistake on hers.

"Well, kinda." She bit the side of her lip and something moved inside me. I hadn't seen her done that in ages. Apparently it had been before we broke up because my immediate response was to remove her lip from beneath her teeth with my thumb. I realized what I had done only after I had lowered my hand and noticed her eyes were as wide as saucers.

"So?" I urged, pocketing my hands and actually pinching my thigh for being so damn stupid.

She took a deep breath before talking. "I miss you."

I miss you

_She_ misses _me_.

The thing with your _ex_, whom you cheated on, telling you she misses you, right when you decide it is okay to move on and you are actually going through it, is that you get pissed.

Royally pissed.

"_What_?" I hissed. "Are you fucking kidding me, Bella? I resembled a dog for months just to get you to talk to me-"

"I didn't mean it like that, _Edward_." She hissed back, as that feeling of loss crept back into my chest. I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest, instinctively adopting a defensive position.

"Explain, then." I pushed after a minute in which we only glared at each other.

After another minute or so, her eyes softened and she sighed looking down. I had to pinch my forearm this time, in order to stop myself from tucking her hair behind her ear. "We used to be friends, Edward. I never wanted to lose that." She said softly as I chuckled incredulously.

"Didn't want to lose that?" I said with my voice a pitch higher. "You didn't talk to me during _months_, Bella, and when you did it certainly was not a friendly conversation."

"Edward, I loved you." She started, taking a step closer to me. "I _loved_ you, and you _cheated_ on me. I was angry. I was _heartbroken_. I think I, at the very least, deserve the right to decide whether I want to talk to you or no, and when." She took a deep breath, calming herself before continuing. "During the holidays, I realized that we _can_ be friendly with each other. I miss_ that_. I already lost the most important part of you, Edward. I don't want to lose it _all_."

* * *

"-mean it, Edward. You hur-" I can't help the smile that takes over my face. He's kind of cute. And I mean it in a _completely not-gay way_. Threatening me. As if.

"_Buddy_," I stop his rant that has been going on for the last ten minutes. "Your sister and I are _just friends_." He scowled at me and I laughed as he tried to look down at me. "_Really_, Tanner." I said seriously and he nodded before his eyes squinted briefly and he turned around, yelling to one of his teammates to give him a ride. Still chuckling to myself I pulled out my phone.

**_Your brother just threatened me. -E_**

**_Still on the field? -B_**

I send a 'yes' before I started picking up everything, as I was finishing I heard a voice call out for me.

"This is yours?" I turned around and smiled, nodding. "Cool, you don't have to put it away, then." She said, taking a ball out of my unzipped bag and threw it at me.

"What are you doing here, Bree?" I threw back the ball and she let out a little squeal when she caught it. I smiled because she was just so damn cute.

She shrugged. "I was doing something in the lab-"

"Cullen!" Jasper yelled from my right, he waved his hand at me when I turned. "Are you gonna play?" I looked back at Bree for a second before turning back to him.

"Nah, tomorrow." He smirked at me before nodding and I rolled my eyes as I caught the ball back from her. I really had no idea why everyone thought something was going on between Bree and I, as I had just told her brother, we were just friends. I mean, yes, she was cute and everything with her long curly hair and sweet smile but, still.

After few minutes of throwing the ball back and forth she asked me if I could drive her home, muttering something about her dad being annoying. I went back to the bleachers and pulled out a clean shirt from my bag and took off the one I was wearing –yes, I was that comfortable around Bree.

"You're disgusting, Edward." She said with her nose all scrunched up and I threw the shirt right at her face. She slapped my chest and I grabbed her wrist, spinning her around so her back was against my chest. I was laughing hysterically as she tried to pry my arm from around her. "Ed_ward_!"

"What the hell, Bree!" I yelled as she sunk her teeth on my forearm at the same time my name was called from behind us. I turned us around, still smiling. "Wha- Bella?" Okay, the smile was totally gone. Yes, we had gone back to talking from time to time, and she'd point out to me the facts the teacher would get wrong during class so it shouldn't have been awkward. But it was. She frowned for less than a second before she blinked and her eyes were back to normal

I dropped my arm from around Bree and was suddenly over-aware of my lack of a shirt. "Here," She tossed a set of keys to me, and I frowned as I recognized them as mine. "They fell out of your bag in the class." She explained and I nodded.

"Thanks." She nodded and turned around back into the locker rooms. I let out a sigh.

"_Awkward_." Bree chanted before snapping her fingers in front of me, turning my attention from the door to the locker rooms and back to her. "Your ex, right?" I nodded, reaching for my clean shirt in the inside of my bag.

"Right." I pulled it on and zipped my bag before throwing it over my shoulder and reaching for Bree's bag so I could carry it for her. It was not chivalry, it was just that it looked heavy and I was, mostly, a gentleman.

* * *

"So," Satan in hells said as she walked my way, arms crossed in front of her. I wanted to remind her that she lost the power to intimidate me when Bella broke up with me.

I turned to Emmett. "Em, I didn't know she was going to come, too." He shrugged his shoulders and mouthed he had no idea either from behind her.

"Who's the _kid_ you're seeing, Cullen?" I looked up at her from my place on the booth and raised an eyebrow.

"Rosalie, you do realize we are _not_ friends, right?"

"Yes, I do." We glared at each other for about a minute.

"Um," We both turned our glares towards him and he muttered something about going to order.

"So, who is she?" She said, sitting on the other side of the booth.

"I have no idea who you are talking about." Technically, I wasn't seeing anyone, and Bree was just a year younger than us, so she wasn't a _kid_.

"The kid you were pawing in the field the other day." My eyebrows went up into my hairline. _Bella told her?_

"Not that it's any of your business but, I am not seeing anyone, and she is not a kid."

"Oh," She said, smirking. "So, there is a she." She raised her eyebrow and I narrowed my eyes.

"Listen, Rosalie." I ran a hand through my hair. "Whether I start dating Bree or no, is _my_ problem, okay? I get it that Bella is your friend and whatever, but she is with Brandon's brother. I've been single for months, what I do with my life is entirely up to me."

"Not after Christmas." She said looking down at her fingernails.

"Does she tell you everything?" I hissed.

She looked up at me, smiling. "No, that was a lucky guess. She came back weird." I glared at her. "So, _what_ happened?"

"I am not going to tell you."

"Okay, how did you meet the kid?"

"I am not go-"

"No," Emmett interrupted. "I wanna know that, too."

"Make her leave and I'll tell you." Emmett turned her eyes to Rosalie and she scoffed before standing up and heading out of the diner.

"She's probably not going to talk to me for a couple days. Hope you know that." He said as he sat where his girlfriend had just been.

"You're welcome, then." He rolled his eyes.

"Tell me."

I sighed. "Really, man, why is everyone so interested?" I shook my head before continuing. "She's the sister of one of the boys, that's how I met her, and really, we are _just friends_." And then as an afterthought, "What is wrong with everybody? Bella started dating some guy and it was just fine. I make a new _friend_, and everyone go nuts about it. What's the big deal?"

"Look, I care because we are friends, and it's a big deal because… because I know how… hung up you were on Bella."

"That's the thing, Emmett. That's why I like Bree so much; she doesn't have that idea of Bella's Edward, or After Bella's Edward. To her, it's _just Edward_, and it's kinda refreshing, you know? Even my parents are treating me differently." And I was sick of it, really.

"Well, Edward, what did you expect with the way you started acting? I mean…" He trailed off, shaking his head, and it hit me that he was right. But then, again, it didn't matter anymore.

"Well, that's going to change."

* * *

**Hey guys!**

**So sorry this took so long, but I really got stuck and no matter how many times I wrote it, it just wasn't right, which is why I just fast-forwarded the story a bit. I know some of you are not going to be happy about this chapter, because Riley is not really out of the picture yet, but, it won't be long. I promise. The story is in mid-January, and Riley will be gone before the Valentine's Day chapter, so, not that bad, right? Hope you don't mind that much, and actually like the chapter.**

**You guys are amazing. _Seriously_. **

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all :)**

* * *

_**Action & Reactions**_

_**Chapter 28**_

**I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited  
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.  
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded  
That for me it isn't over**

**Never mind**  
**I'll find someone like you**  
**I wish nothing but the best for you too**  
**"Don't forget me," I begged**  
**"I'll remember," you said**  
**Sometimes it lasts in love**  
**But sometimes it hurts instead.**

_**Someone like you - Adele**_

**BPOV**

I pushed my glasses up my nose and started reading the same page. _Again_.

**_Mostly, she dwelled on memories of their summer rather than their brief encounter outside the church. She hadn't heard from him since the funeral, and as Christmas came and went, she began to lose hope that he would call. She remembered that he'd said something about spending the holidays overseas, but as each day elapsed without word from him, she vacillated between the certainty that he still loved her and the hopelessness of their situation. Perhaps it was best that he didn't call, she told herself, for what was there really to say_**

The words started to blur again as my mind wandered. I didn't know what was wrong with me but I just couldn't get that image out of my mind.

_"Okay, so, I just walk up to him and give him his keys. Perfect" I don't know why I was so nervous about talking to him if we had been sort of talking for the last couple weeks. _

_Holly shit, he's shirtless._

_I shook my head as flashes of certain night came to my mind. "Edward?" He turned around smiling that smile that always made me melt and my lips started curving in response but then I realized he wasn't alone. _

I hated how after that I hadn't been able to kick him out of my thoughts. It was ridiculous, really. We had not been together for over four months, he had every right to do whatever, and whomever, he wanted.

_You didn't really expect him to give up on you._

But that wasn't it. I knew I couldn't be with him again, I had that clear in my head, but it didn't stop me from thinking what would have happened if I had just given us another chance.

I suddenly remembered my mom's words in Thanksgiving and wished I had listened to her.

Truth was, yes, Riley had been good to me but I hadn't been ready to start another relationship when I did, in fact, I still wasn't ready to be with anyone but I guess I was just trying to fill up the void left by the ending of Edward's and mine relationship.

We were trying with friendship but really, it was mostly stupid, irrelevant stuff we talked about. Before we broke up, he was really my best friend, despite what him and Felix might have thought, I would tell him just about anything and he had his weird ways of confiding in me but now... I couldn't go to him when I had had a rough day and just needed a hug, or couldn't take him some vanilla ice-cream when he was upset. I felt really alone because I only saw Riley during the weekends, and I couldn't exactly talk to Alice about how much I missed Edward, and Rosalie would listen, but would not approve.

I really, _really_ missed him.

And boy, was I feeling guilty.

Out of those three days I was able to see Riley in the week, I had taken to avoiding him at least one. Kissing him had become the most painful thing ever. I could stand him hugging me but as soon as I closed my eyes, I would think about how I had cheated on him. I mean, looking into his eyes had become hard. That's how guilty I felt.

And then how I reacted with Edward, too. I led him to believe something could happen between us again, only to shot him down the next morning. And now he had moved on.

**_Mostly, she dwelled on memories of their summer rather than their brief encounter outside the church. She hadn't heard from him since the funeral, and as Christmas came and went, she began to lose hope that he would call. She remembered that he'd said something about spending the holidays overseas, but as each day elapsed without word from him, she vacillated between the certainty that he still loved her and the hopelessness of their situation. Perhaps it was best that he didn't call, she told herself, for what was there really to say_**

I was not getting anywhere with neither, my reading nor my thinking so I shut the book closed and left it on my bed before jumping up to a standing position and grabbed my phone on my way out.

I was going to take care of one of the problems now.

* * *

I stood in front of the campus library looking at my reflection on its dark glass doors. Riley's roommate had told me he was in the library studying.

So here I was.

But, God, why was this so difficult? I had driven all the way here because I needed to come clean. I needed to tell him what had happened and how sorry I truly was. I was going to apologize for so much, for having been so selfish, for jumping into something with him when I was not ready, for... everything.

But I didn't get the chance to.

* * *

**EPOV**

I cursed at my phone for ringing so damn early, even though it wasn't but I had stayed up late talking to Bree, as I moved my hand around my bed, looking for it.

"Hello?" I cringed as I spoke with a dry throat for having been sleeping for so long.

"E-Edward?" My eyes widened and I shot up to a sitting position as I recognized the voice on the other end.

"Bella? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" I said worriedly, already pulling some clothes on. She was talking, or at least trying to, but I couldn't understand any of it. "Sweetie." She kept on hiccupping. "Sweetie, calm down." I ran down the stairs and grabbed the keys of my car on my way out. "Baby, I need you to calm down. Tell me where you are and I'll come get you." She hiccupped something impossible to understand again and, as I started the engine, I thought about pulling a trick of her sick boyfriend and looking her up in Google Maps but then she took deep breaths and was able to say she was somewhere between Port Angeles and Forks, before she started bawling again.

Really, thirty-eight minutes had never seemed so long until now. Thirty-eight minutes of not knowing what was going on with her and not being able to console her. But as soon as I spotted her girlie car on the side of the road, I realized what was going on.

Based on the way her car was parked I assumed she was coming from Seattle... And I knew what had happened. I parked behind her and hurriedly made my way to her door and knocked on the window for her to open the door and as soon as she did, I wrapped my arms around her.

_Fucking Biers, making my girl cry._

With that thought, I realized that she was so upset because of him and that she had never been so upset over me.

_Fucking Biers for existing. Period._

"Baby, what happened?" I whispered in her ear, already knowing what had happened but needing her to tell me, she only buried her face deeper into my chest and shook her head.

I turned us around and leaned against the car, letting her cry it all out while still thinking that for her to react this way… well, that it meant her feelings for that guy ran deeper that I thought.

After a while, her shoulders stopped trembling but I didn't let go of her, running my fingers down her hair in a soothing motion, instead. She made a move to step away from my embrace and I, for some reason feeling completely dejected, let my arms fall limply beside my thighs. She crossed her arms in front of her and moved her bangs out of her face before looking up at me. "I'm sorry." She whispered so low; she was almost only mouthing it.

"Why are you sorry?" Her eyes started watering again and I had to push away the urge to wrap her in my arms again. "Why are you so sad, pretty girl?" And even though I knew what had happened, I meant it, why was she this sad? I lifted my hand to brush her cheek but she slapped it away and rubbed her eyes forcefully.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" She hissed and I frowned.

"_What_?" She only kept on glaring at me and I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, Bella." I started walking to my car, completely angry, but then thought better of it and turned around. "What do you want from me? I mean, _you_ called me. I was fucking sleeping when you called and because for some reason I don't know, I still care about you, I came. So, guess what? You have no right to treat me like shit over this; in fact, you have no right to treat me like shit over _anything_. I know I hurt you, but you've hurt me just as bad. No, fuck that, you've hurt me _even more_. " I turned around to just get into my car and leave but just as I had opened my door I thought better of it, and turned back around. "Do you want me to take you home?" She shook her head, not looking at me and turned to the side to open her door. I sighed and walked back to her. "Bella,"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you. I just… I don't know. I am sorry." I groaned and tugged on my hair before grabbing her elbow and pulling her into my chest as she started to cry again.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you." I said into her hair and she shook her head, wrapping her arms around my waist. _God, how I missed this. _

I kept on hugging her as if my life depended on it, and well, it kind of did. I loved the way she felt against me and… fuck, I just loved her. _All of her_.

"Your heart is beating so fast." She whispered and I sighed.

"I told you once, you are the only one that can do that to me." I closed my eyes and hid my face in the crook of her neck. "I need to get over you, Bella."

"You really do."

* * *

I yawned and crossed my ankles under the table before replying.

**_Sure, see you tonight. -E_**

I was about to pocket my phone when it beeped with a reply.

**_You are the best. -B_**

I couldn't help the smile that tugged on my lips and typed out a snarky comment before pocketing my phone.

"Dude!" Jasper yelled at me, looking frustrated. I didn't stop smiling. "I've been talking to you for the past ten minutes!"

"Relax, Jazz." He glared at me and I laughed. We were at school, sitting on the picnic tables outside while having lunch. Yes, it was one of those rare sunny days. And yes, by 'we' I mean the entire table from inside.

"Alright. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Nothing." I shrugged, taking a sip from my can of Coke.

"You are not a happy person. Now you're always happy." I shrugged at the same time Emmett spoke.

"It's that little girl he's _'not dating'_" I rolled my eyes as Jasper eyes lighted up, causing everyone to turn their attention to us, but thank God the bell rang and people started standing up.

"_Deets_!" Jasper yelled and I frowned.

"You are so gay it is not even funny." Emmett said to him before turning to me. "You should ask her out, E."

I was about to answer with a negative when, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Bella slowly picking up her stuff. "I will." I said, gauging her reaction. As soon as the words escaped my mouth, her head snapped up and her eyes met mine. "She's nice. I mean, she's _great_." I continued, glancing once again at Bella. She had this weird expression and I couldn't pinpoint her feelings right then.

She noticed I was looking at her and smiled sadly at me before speaking. "Are you guys talking about the girl you were with the other day?" I nodded, looking into her eyes, trying to understand her. "Oh, great." She said lowly before shrugging and walking back into the building. I half sighed, half groaned as I ran my hands through my hair.

"Man, what was _that_?" Emmett asked from beside me.

"Yeah," Jasper added, oh-so-smartly.

"I don't know." I slammed my hand against the wooden table as I stood up. "I don't know!" I picked my bag from the floor and tugged on it furiously when the straps turned so I wasn't able to put it on. "What the fuck is wrong with her?" I hissed. "She's got that cheating son of a bitch. I have every fucking right to move on if I fucking want to. She has _no right_ to look at me like that and smile like that as if her world is ending. _Is not fucking fair_!"

By the end of the day, I was still pissed because of it and when I stopped by Bree's house to help her with her History homework I did ask her out. Yes, she was nice, I had a great time every time we were together and, yes, I might have even developed some feelings for her. But the real reason I dared to ask her out was because I needed to prove myself, and Bella, that she no longer held any power over me.

* * *

It was Friday, and I was dozing off in English while Bella drew on her notebook beside me. After that awkward, _and infuriating_, exchange on Tuesday she hadn't talked to me and I hadn't even acknowledged her.

With a sigh, I gave up and just leaned my head on my forearms to sleep the rest of the hour and was just doing so when I was awoken by the sound of the door opening. A guy with a red cap on his head poked his head in, claiming he had a delivery for Miss Cullen.

My eyes widened as every student in the class turned to me. I narrowed my eyes as the teacher took the box from the delivery guy and walked to me to toss it in the desk. Once the teacher had called everyone's attention I opened the box and groaned when I saw a bouquet of flowers. What the hell! I took the card that was in the box and cursed Jasper as I read it.

**_Edwina,_**

**_Luck on your date tonight._**

**_Love,_**

**_Jazz_**

**_PS. If you try to hit me over this I am telling _**

**_your girl about the time you pissed on yourself. _**

**_(I know that never happened but still.)_**

I cursed again and again as few heads turned to me, snickering. _Fucking, fucking, fucking, fucking Jasper._

I was brought out of my musings by Bella's voice. "So, you _are_ going out with her." I hadn't noticed she had been reading over my shoulder. I turned my head to see her and was about to say something about privacy and boundaries when I saw her. Her lips were pursed, her eyes focused on the drawings on the corner of her notebook, her shoulders were hunched and her eyes looked so sad, so, so, so sad that the words died on the tip of my tongue.

_Remember your purpose, Eddie._

"Yup." I said, tossing the box on the floor. "I am."

* * *

"Mom!" I yelled from my place in my closet. She appeared a minute after, looking concerned. Yes, she had already gotten over whatever was making her hate me and I was a momma's boy again.

"What's wrong, Sweetheart? Why are you shirtless?"

"Where's my shirt? The blue stripped one?" I asked, turning to her.

"I don't know, if it's not there, it's dirty then." She shrugged.

"Well, fuck." I said under my breath. Bella had once told me that shirt made me look 'hot as hell'. _Yes, I know how fuck up that is._

"Edwa-" She started to admonish but I was already apologizing as I pulled out a black polo, another one of Bella's favorite. _Again, yes, I know how fucked up that is._

I put the shirt on and went back into the bathroom splashing some cologne all over me. I coughed twice and cursed as some of it got into my eye.

"Where are you going, Edward?" Mom asked me suspiciously but I ignored her question as I walked past her into the bedroom and plugged out my phone before pocketing it and checking how many money I had on my wallet.

"How do I look, Mom?" I stopped enough for her to see me before I sat on my bed and put on some shoes.

"Wear those ones, Honey." _Gah_. Honey. Bella used to call me that sometimes. I picked up the shoes my mom pointed and put them on. "Where are you going?" She asked again.

"Out." My voice sounded like a squeak and I had no idea why I was so nervous. I mean, yeah, it had been so fucking long since I had taken out someone on a first date. Two years and five months actually, and even then, it had been pretty much just a formality.

"Okay…" She trailed off.

"Okay, okay!" I spat, out of nowhere. I _swear_, I think my mom has some sort of manual that tells her how to handle me. "I have a date, _okay_? No big deal." I looked up at her and noticed she was smirking down at me, she stepped forward and kissed the top of my head.

"That's good to know, Honey." _Meh. _Honey. Again. "Good luck."

* * *

**BPOV**

"I have no idea why I am doing this for you. _Really_." I rolled my eyes. "We crossed the stalker line when you pulled out those." She said, looking pointedly to my lap, where I had my dad's binoculars. I didn't answer, or even acknowledged her, because I honestly didn't know what I was doing. "Really, it's pathetic."

"Shut up, Rose." I muttered through my hand that was in front of my mouth as I bit my nails._ Years to drop the habit, minutes to get it back._

"I'm just saying." She shrugged, reaching over to put some music on. We were driving to Port Angeles, following Edward's car –I flinched, thinking of how pathetic it was- because… I don't know, I just... I knew I was being selfish, I just couldn't help it. As we were nearing the city, Rosalie unplugged her phone and the music stopped filling the car, and I knew I was about to be lectured.

"Rosalie, don't." I said, sternly, not looking at her.

"No, I will. Listen, I don't like him. At all. Everyone knows that. But _you_, you love him, or loved. I don't know. The breakup wasn't good and you both went through a hard time, you wanted to move on, he wanted a second chan-"

"I know what you are going to say, okay? Drop it."

"It's true," She continued, as if I had said nothing. "What he did to you was worthy of a Lorena Bobbit move but, Bella, do you realize what you are doing is really bitchy? They guy was there, at your disposal for months and you wouldn't even look at him. Now, he wants to move on –thing I honestly believe to be a smart move, considering the basket case you've been lately- and now you want him back?"

"I don't want him back." I muttered, because I really didn't want him back. I just… I didn't know what I want anymore.

"Then why the fuck are we doing this?"

"Rose, really. Thanks for doing this, in spite of how crazy it is, but can we just _not_ talk?"

"I just don't get it, Bella. He wants to move on. Let him." Edward's car parked right across the movie theater and Rose parked few cars behind it. "Wait-" She said as I reached for the door. "Let's go eat something, instead, okay? This is going to hurt you." I shook my head as I opened the door. "Why would you do this to yourself, Bella?"

I didn't answer, because I couldn't explain it without proving her point that I was being a bitch. But I knew. I wanted to know that what he could have with this other girl was anywhere even close of what we had. I wanted him to fail with what he was trying to do, because _I_ had failed at my attempt of moving on. I wanted to know that he needed me just as much as I still, and in spite of everything, needed him.

We entered the same movie they had and even though Rosalie kept huffing and basically being a bitch about the entire situation, I was really thankful she was here with me. Alice had been plain weird with me, I figured she knew what went down between her brother and I but it wasn't my fault and yet she was avoiding me. Literally. I saw her today on my way to class and he turned the other way before I could smile or something.

We sat several rows above Edward and… the girl, I think the movie was some romantic comedy, or whatever. I wasn't really paying attention to the movie. Instead I focused on them. I noticed how he would turn to look at her every time she laughed, or how she would touch his forearm when she wanted him to lean down so she could tell -whisper in his ear- something to him, how he would slid down his seat to get comfortable only to sit back properly few minutes after. They didn't kiss, and for that I was kind of -seriously- thankful, but at some point he pulled the armrest up and threw an arm over her shoulders to pull her close. Rosalie wasn't an affectionate person but when she noticed how I tensed and why she stretched her arm, offering me one of her candies. For the rest of the movie they barely looked the screen, talking to each other instead. He wasn't giving her my smile, the one that was bright and full, but he wasn't giving her everyone's smile, the one where only one side of his mouth came up.

"Hey," Rose whispered, nudging my side. "The movie is winding down, we should leave." I nodded and stood up, heading out not without looking at him once more as he pressed his lips against the side of her head.

I walked quietly to the black Toyota she had borrowed from her mom because her shiny red car would definitely get us caught, and stood by the door until Rose unlocked the doors. I slid down the seats when people started walking out, but made sure to be able to watch him -them, I guess- when he came out.

When he did, I frowned. He was holding the girl's hand and she was smiling while he was laughing. It literally made my heart ache. As he crossed the street I noticed he was wearing one of my favorite shirts of his and I must admit I got a little bit... offended and pissed. He knew I loved that shirt on him. The black contrasting the soft colors of his eyes, hair and skin beautifully.

"Are we continuing this?" Rosalie asked, turning on the ignition before putting on her seatbelt. I merely nodded. Call me masochist.

He actually drove to Forks afterwards, and I was about to tell Rose to just please take me home when he made a stop in the diner. They went in, holding hands and shit, and sat by the window, giving me full view to their meal. He ordered a burger and she ordered this huge ice-cream that actually made my mouth water. At some point she tried to steal one of his fries and he dipped his finger with her ice-cream before bringing it to his mouth. She took another one of his fries and threw it at his face, he ducked his head before leaning over and kissing her cheek.

I don't know what Rose saw in my face, but she huffed and jumped out of the car. It surprised me, though, that she came to my side and opened the door forcefully.

"Come on, we are going in." She said, well, ordered.

"Are you crazy? I can't go in there!"

"Come. On." She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the car. I dragged my feet, following her, but I really wanted him to see me. I don't know, I guess I just wanted to know whether I mattered to him, or not. The little bell rang above our heads and he looked up instinctively, his eyes widening slightly when he met my gaze that was probably as torn as I felt. He frowned and looked down to his plate briefly before looking up to the girl, his smile still present although it was slightly forced. Rose ordered something to eat but, thankfully, decided to just take it home -she probably never really wanted to eat- and we walked out. I saw him looking at me as I walked out.

They just talked after that and when they finished eating and the girl went to the restroom -I suppose- I saw him threw half a packet of gums into his mouth.

Oh my God. He _is_ going to kiss her.

_So? She's his date, you know? _

I sighed and didn't look at him as they walked out into the parking lot. She... She was nice, I had to give him that, but she was too short and her hair was weird and her eyes were... No, she was nice. Not in a Rosalie kind of nice, but she had that girl next door thing going on, and I had heard boys liked that so... I was just screwed. I didn't have Rosalie's kind of beauty and I didn't have a thing about me. Thinking about it, what did he ever saw in me?

_Well, nothing, he cheated on you._

_Yes, but he said he loved me._

_And yet he's about to kiss the pretty girl holding his hand._

As we pulled out, a couple minutes after they did, Rose looked at me, as if asking me whether to drive after them or not. I was beyond depressed by now but, a little bit more couldn't hurt more, right?

Wrong.

He did kiss her, and it was the Tanya thing all over again. _And worse_.

When I had seen him kissing Tanya it was always with him drunk out of his mind and even though it hurt just the same, this, seeing him kiss some other girl completely aware of what he was doing was completely destroying me. My eyes widened and I felt relieve and hope ran through me when she pushed him away and he said something to which she shook her head, causing him to frown and put some space between them -yes, I was using the damn binoculars. But then it all went crashing down when he nodded and she smiled a little before wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a peck on the lips before hugging him briefly and walking into her house. He was smiling on his way to his car.

_"Bella, I love you. There's no confusion over that fact."_

_"There's some shit I need to sort out before I talk to you about that."_

_"Do you feel that?" His heart was beating erratically against his ribcage and I nodded. "It is only because of you, Bella. Don't __ever __doubt that."_

_"Wait. No. No. __NO__. You __cannot __break up with me."_

_"Tell me what is not working. I __will __fix it… I __can't __lose you…"_

_"For a matter of fact, Bella, I am sad. Fuck. Sad? Sad doesn't cover even part of it. I'm fucking heartbroken!"_

_"I've told you, Bella! I've told you that you're the only one for me! Fuck, I made a mistake that night and kissed her"_

_"There are __lots __of things you don't know Bella."_

_"No, Bella.__I do love you__. But…__God__… I've been lying, okay? I hated that you felt stronger about me than what I felt for you so I lead you on to believing I was in love with you. Don't ask me why or how or when, because I honestly have__no idea__, but over the summer I just fell in love with you."_

_"I can't change what I've done. Sadly, I can't. What I can do though, is apologize and try to make it better. And, Bella,__I want to __make things better__. I __am __trying."_

_"So you're telling me you have __plans __with a Riley __guy __the day of our two-year __anniversary__?"_

_"I didn't want you to find out the way you did."_

_"I am __insanely __in love with you, Bella."_

_"It kills me to see you with him, Bella. It kills me to see you all happy with him, and dancing and you… you k-kissing him. __It just fucking kills me, Bella__."_

_"Baby, we __can __work this out. I know it's hard and believe me when I tell you that I'm sorry and that it'll never, ever,__ever__, happen again."_

_"You are still everything to me."_

_"There can't be… There must be something I can do, Bella.__"_

_"I need you to understand that it wasn't anything you did, it was all in my head."_

_"Do you ever miss me?"_

_"Do you still hate me?"_

_ "__If you wanna keep on living under the pretense you are happy with him? Cool.__Whatever__…__ I am not waiting around for you anymore."_

"Are you okay, Bella?" Rose asked quietly, bringing me out of my memories and I realized we were just a couple houses away from my own.

"No." I didn't lie, what was the point anyway?

* * *

**Guys, hey, I'll be real quick. I just wanted to point out something. A lot of you are hating Bella now, and it's okay, I guess (I hate SM's Bella, too) but I need you to understand something. They are pretty much kids, and taking into account the environment they've grow up in, they are kind of immature and this attitude, from both of them, is going to play a major role in the rest of the story. You can choose sides, that's perfectly fine. All I am asking is for you to not get to biased because you'll probably miss out on some things that may end up being really important.**

**Something else (I know some of you will love this), there are only few chapters more before they start truly fixing things up. Oh, and E's POV of the date will be in chapter 29. **

**Please, please review. Tell me something, anything. What are you thinking about the story. Really.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs.**

**Ps. Can you figure out what book was Bella reading? I know, it's pretty easy (copy&paste in google) but still. I love the author. No one has ever made me cry so much in a good way before.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all :)**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 29**

**I tried to read between the lines  
I tried to look in your eyes  
I want a simple explanation  
For what I'm feeling inside  
I gotta find a way out  
Maybe there's a way out**

**Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer**  
**Do you know you're unlike any other?**  
**You'll always be my thunder, and I said**  
**Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors**  
**I don't wanna ever love another**  
**You'll always be my thunder**  
**So bring on the rain**  
**And bring on the thunder**

**Today is a winding road**  
**Tell me where to start and tell me something I don't know**  
**Today I'm on my own**  
**I can't move a muscle and I can't pick up the phone**  
**I don't know**

**And now I'm itching for the tall grass**  
**And longing for the breeze**  
**I need to step outside**  
**Just to see if I can breathe**  
**I gotta find a way out**  
**Maybe theres a way out**

**Thunder- Boys Like Girls**

**EPOV**

At the end I didn't really need my mom to wish me luck. It went smoothly enough that I even thought about asking her out again. But... No, wait. The beginning first.

_Okay, Edward. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this._

I kept repeating this as I walked up to the front door and I swear my heart stopped for a second when I knocked the door and someone yelled they'd open it in a second.

During those two minutes the second actually lasted, I thought about Bree and her brother and tried to think of how their dad would be like. I was done with intimidating, not approving fathers that hated my guts. However it was Bree's brother the one to open the door, trying to look down at me, except if he did, he'd be looking at my abdomen, which was totally gay.

"Just friends, huh?" He crossed his arms over his chest and I have to admit that if the kid hadn't been wearing a Superman shirt and well, wasn't a _kid_, it would have made me squirm.

"Well-" I was about to say something just to piss him off but he cut me off.

"You're older than her."

"Yeah..."

"I don't like you."

"'Kay..."

"I want her home at eleven."

I smirked, "Isn't that past your bedtime" His eyes narrowed and his face became red, he stammered for a bit and when he looked as if he had finally come up with something to say, Bree appeared behind him and told him to get lost.

She closed the door behind her and smiled up at me. "Hi,"

"Hey," I smiled down at her simply because it was impossible not to when she was looking so cute. Most girls would go for a seductive, yet no whorish attire for a date - I overheard a conversation once- but Bree was simply cute with this flannel plaid dress that made me want to wrap my arms around her, so I did, giving her a brief hug. "Come on, let's go."

The ride up to Port Angeles was spent with us playfully arguing over the lousy pop music she liked, I also asked her what was the deal with her brother and I learned that her parents had gotten a divorce just the year before and so he felt it was his duty to take care of her and their mom.

She got a little down over that and I, in an attempt to cheer her up a bit or just get her to relax again, I took hold of her hand and squeezed it. My heart started beating faster as I did that. And I was actually confused over this reaction to another person that wasn't Bella, and then by thinking of her my heart beat rate increased even more. Bree's hand was a bit littler than Bella's and my fingers felt awkward between hers. But then I cursed myself and ran my other hand through my hair as I realized what I was doing. I couldn't compare them. I mean, I already knew they were different, but I didn't want to determine which one was better because, even though it would stay in my head, it wasn't fair to either of them.

"Hey," Bree laughed, squeezing my hand. "Where did you just go?"

I chuckled, shaking my head, thinking of an excuse quickly. "Nah, nowhere. Just focused on the road. I don't like driving at night." I lied, but she bought it and again I had to suppress the thoughts of how Bella would have known I love driving at night.

When we reached the city, she said something about the movie we were going to watch and I pretended to listen as she animatedly talked about the production and blah, blah, blah of the movie. I really didn't care, or understand.

Once in the cinema, thank God she just wanted some candies because the sharing popcorn and shit was so lame but I was also afraid that if I bought one for myself it would give her the idea that I didn't want to share or whatever. I knew she would have thought that.

She was the kind of girl that read Nicholas Sparks and watched the movies of those books several times, always ending up crying. I like the about her though, she was all sweet and such a girlie girl, that all I wanted to do was to make her smile.

Bella, on the other hand, was more of a classic literature reader, defending women's right even though she _was_ all soft and the swooning kind of girl on the inside. I mean, every time I had gotten her flowers she would have smiled all shyly and blushed and hid her face in my neck and...

_Okay, you are doing it again, Cullen. Bree. Bree. Bree. Not Bella. Bree._

Throughout the first half of the movie, Bree kept laughing and I couldn't help but look at her while she did this. It wasn't because I just _needed_ to see her smile or something like that. It was simply because it had been a while since someone had seemed as happy as she did around me. It led me to believe I wasn't completely broken. However, my shoulders were all tense because I felt as if someone was watching me but I just decided it was my usual uneasiness at having people behind me.

Bree kept pointing movie-ish things to me as she saw them on the screen as I kept fidgeting on my seat because it was so damn uncomfortable until I just lifted the armrest and held Bree closer to me, giving us more space as I leaned my back slightly on my armrest, we pretty much chatted for the rest of the movie. It was Friday night, teenagers chick-flick, so yeah, most of the attendants were teenagers with someone's tongue down their throat that didn't care if we talked or not.

The movie ended and I took hold of her hand again as we walked to my car. On the way back to Forks we talked about school, and she asked me about my plans for next year. I told her I still didn't know where to apply and she gasped. I mocked her for being such a nerd and having already contacted several universities when she still had a year or so before having to start worrying about that kind of stuff.

As we neared the town, I asked her if she wanted to eat something, when she said she wanted ice-cream I drove to the diner, which was the only place open t this hour. I held her hand again as we walked inside. It wasn't as awkward as it had been at first, but it still didn't feel the same. There was not this slight tingling in my fingertips I had always felt when I held Bella's hand. But then again, Bree wasn't Bella, and that was a good thing. I didn't think I had much of me left to go through another situation like that one. I was so over it.

Well, kind of.

I mean, I still loved her, those feelings were not going to simply disappear. I had fallen hard for her but at the same time I had grown to believe that when people said that love had to be cultivated, they were right. I was sure I could love Bella for the rest of my life if she'd only let me -and reciprocate- but right now, with everything going on between us, I swear I could feel myself falling a little bit more out of love with her with every passing day. A little, little bit compared to the intensity of my feelings but, it was still fading away nonetheless.

Or that's what I thought at least.

As soon as I saw her walk in I realized I was wrong. I _would love her for the rest of my life whether she reciprocated or not but... the way she looked at me, it felt as if she did reciprocate. But maybe it was just wishful thinking from my part._

It wouldn't have been the first time.

* * *

Okay, _now it was tense._

She was standing in front of me and I did want to kiss her, and I could tell she wanted to as well, but I didn't know why I wasn't just doing it.

Okay, I did know. Bella.

Mad at myself, I leaned over and rested a hand on the doorknob beside her as I tilted my head and pressed my lips to hers, after few seconds, she moved her hands to rest on either side of my neck. Her lips were soft and sweet and a little bit cold for all the ice-cream she had had and having been standing here for the last five minutes but they still felt good against mine. There were no fireworks or shit like that, not even with Bella had there been fireworks. Again. Lame. But there was this feeling that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing whereas the last few times Bella and I had kissed even though it had felt right, it also had felt wrong.

As if Bree could feel my mind was wandering, she wrapped her arms completely around my neck and pulled me closer at the same time I circled an arm around her waist as I deepened the kiss. Her mouth was warm and tasted like vanilla, which just happened to be my favorite ice-cream flavor, and I couldn't help the groan that escaped me when her body melted against mine and she sucked my lower lip into her mouth.

She pulled away and I honestly wanted to just follow after her movement and keep on kissing her. "Let's go out again." I said, my voice barely above a whisper. She shook her head and I frowned. "Why not? I thought you had a good time."

"Great time," She corrected me. "But no," I looked at her with a 'what the fuck?' expression and she sighed. "Edward, you've been thinking about your ex all night." I was about to lie in protest but she continued. "It's okay, Edward." She looked down. "So have I." Cue to my ego to go down to my feet.

"I still want to do this again, Bree." If I could forget Bella, I was sure I could make her forget about whoever her ex was. She wrapped her arms around me, giving me a brief hug before giving me a quick kiss and walking into her house.

I took that as a yes, and I couldn't stop smiling.

* * *

They were both looking at me expectantly while I kept reading something, well, more like skimming through something just to piss them off, I think it was a manual of something or whatever.

Emmett and Jasper decided they'd stop by because according to them we needed 'bonding time'. They just wanted to know about last night. After half an hour it got boring to piss them off so I decided I would make Jasper squirm a bit.

"So," I started and their eyes lighted up. I made a mental note to stop hanging out with girls that were trapped in men's bodies. "What happened with Brandon, Jasper?" His eyes grew as big as saucers and Emmett nodded approvingly. He knew why I had done that for.

"Um..." He looked down and scratched the back of his neck. "We are kinda dating." He said slurring the words together. I was a genius.

"No shit!" Emmett yelled before starting to laugh as a maniac. "Jasper Whitlock is dating?"

I nodded, agreeing. "The world must be ending." Emmett laughed harder and I joined in. Jasper glared at us until we calmed down and then Emmett gasped.

"Man, does she know about the bet?" _Ooooh_

"No. Why would I tell her?" He shrugged as if he didn't care, but the worry that crept into his eyes told another story.

Emmett looked like he was going to answer so I intervened. "So, do you wanna know about my date?" They both turned to me, Emmett nodding excitedly and Jasper smiling gratefully. "It was great. She's really cool." I admitted and they nodded, waiting for me to continue. "It was kind of weird though. I mean, I am used to going out with Bella. But... Whatever." I shrugged and Emmett, noticing I was not going to offer any more information willingly he spoke.

"Are you going out with her again?" "I think so." He then kept firing question after question before I remembered something. "Your girlfriend appeared where Bree and I were!"

"What? She was supposed to be out with Bella." He said, frowning.

"Yeah, they were together." I said, looking down to my shoes as I kicked the corner of the coffee table.

"She's no longer with Biers." Jasper said, as if that information was helpful and I briefly wondered how he knew before remembering his admission from before.

"I know." I said shrugging.

"And you are not going to try anything?"

"Nah," I ran a hand through my hair. "I'm done with her."

"You are still crazy about her, Dude." Jasper said and I nodded.

"I said I was _done with her, not __over her."_

That was the entirety of our serious conversation.

We now were scattered all over my room with controllers in hand and eyes locked on the screen of my TV. I heard the garage door open and I tried not to flinch. Minutes later there was a knock on my door before Dad entered the room, not waiting for a reply.

"Boys, it's been a while since you've stopped by." He said to Emmett and Jasper who barely looked at him since they were losing against me. "So, how's it going?" He tried again. "Nervous about graduating soon?" And again. "Have you decided what are you going to study?"

"Nope." Both said at the same time and I looked at him pointedly.

_See? I at least know what I want to do with my life._

Out of all the differences he and I have had -the drinking, the smoking, and the manwhoring- that was the one that remained.

* * *

The rest of the weekend I spent it doing some research. I really, really, really wanted to get over Bella and I knew that the only chance of that happening was Bree so I wanted it to work out.

And now my brain was filled with John Hughes movies and Taylor Swift lyrics (and videos). I would have been actually embarrassed of it, if it hadn't been Emmett's idea. His life was sadder than mine.

So here I am, Monday morning, walking through the school hallways looking for Bree. I found her in front of a locker I assumed was hers and stood behind her. "Hey," I whispered in her ear and she jumped, a book ending on the floor. I bent down to pick it up before leaning on the locker beside hers.

"You almost killed me, Edward." She glared jokingly and I smiled.

"Sorry." She kept sorting through her books, looking for something. "Hey, did anything interesting on the weekend?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No, pretty boring."

"Yeah? No hot date or something?" I asked, smirking.

"Well, I _had _a date, nothing memorable though_." _I glared at her and she chuckled before closing her locker and kissing my cheek_. "Kidding."_ I tried to glare at her, but really, I couldn't stop smiling.

* * *

**BPOV**

I rolled my eyes as I heard my mom giggling out in the hallway, I would have been kind of nauseated if it hadn't been that this behavior was unusual for my parents, it was their anniversary after all but, God, why did it had to fall on a weekday? It would have been more bearable if they didn't have to come back in the middle of the night and wake me up. Okay, they were not waking me up but they didn't know that! It was late enough for them to at least think of me and the sleep I would be missing out on.

I sighed, removing my glasses to rub my eyes. It wasn't their fault that I had been so angry lately but, in all honesty, it wasn't my fault either. It wasn't my fault that it was that time of the year where everyone, and I _do_ mean _everyone_, was suddenly in love and all that bullshit. The worse thing though was that Valentine's Day was two weeks from now, so I still had to survive to more weeks without killing anyone in the process. It was as if... I don't know, as if love was being thrown to my face just to remind me of what I had lost.

Before, I had never given it a lot of thought to the entire concept of Valentine's Day, because for the last two years, it had meant a nice dinner that Edward would have claimed he had prepared himself all the while I knew Esme had been in charge of. The year before we got together, Edward and I still spent the day together and before that, it just meant sitting in front of my TV, completely enamored with the lead male characters of classic romantic movies.

This year, though... _this year_. Well, I was going to spend it alone by choice actually, because one of the guys from the team had heard I was 'ready to mingle' and asked me out. He was nice and all but really, what was the point? It would end with him trying to kiss me and I probably crying myself to sleep.

_Oh yes, that had become my nightly routine. Again. _

But really, it was a case of pure masochism, I mean, I knew I was feeling down about everything and yet here I was, watching picture after picture in Edward's Facebook profile. I had removed my tag from all of them but Edward hadn't, in fact, I would have freaked out when I saw that he was listed as 'In a relationship' if I didn't know that he hadn't updated it after we broke up. I got to exactly 629 pictures of us when I found one picture from Emmett's birthday party three years ago that really caught my attention. I don't even know why. Edward was sitting on a chair, obviously having drunk a little more than he should have, with me standing in front of him. His forehead was resting on my abdomen and his arms were wrapped around my thighs so tightly that my knees were slightly bent, and I was looking down at him, my hands tangled with his hair.

_"Bella!" I heard Edward's voice from behind me and turned around to look for him. I narrowed my eyes when I found him and turned back to my conversation. He wasn't drunk, but he was very well on his way, and he knew I hated that. I went back into the house and spent the next hour talking to Angela about me joining the Newspaper until a very pissed off Rosalie approached us, with a very wasted Emmett clinging to her._

_"B, your man is not feeling well and is asking for you." She said curtly before dragging a giggling Emmett up the stairs. I huffed and excused myself to go check on Edward. I stopped by the kitchen first, and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before walking to the backyard. He was slumped over a chair, his chin falling down onto his chest. "Edward," He looked up and smiled at me._

_"Baby!" He said, standing up only to lose his balance and end up with me holding him up. _

_"God, you're heavy." I grunted as I tried to find my footing to drag him back to the chair. _

_"Baby, Baby, Baby." He chanted against my neck. "My beautiful, beautiful Baby." _

_I managed to push him onto the chair and held the bottle for him. "Edward, Honey, drink this, please." He tried to, but he couldn't get the bottle to his mouth so I held his chin and placed the bottle against his lips._

_"I was thirsty." He chuckled, before reaching for me and pulling me closer. "You're perfect." I didn't reacted when he tried to hug me and he pouted before resting his forehead on my abdomen. "Don't be mad." _

_"I am _pissed off_, Edward!" I hissed at him, he only tightened his hold on my legs. _

_"I know you are... But... Don't dump me, okay?" He nuzzled his head against my stomach. "Don't leave me." He repeated, and I sighed, moving my hands to his hair. "I need you so much, Baby. You are my entire world." He started sniffing and my eyes widened when I realized he was crying._

_"Edward," I lifted his head and kissed his forehead. "You are my entire world, too. I am not going to leave you."_

_He went back to facing my shirt and mumbled against it. "Take care of me, Baby. I'm so drunk, please take care of me. I don't want to do something stupid again."_

Back then, I thought I had misunderstood what he had said, but now I knew what he was asking for. He was asking _me_ to keep him from cheating on me.

I sighed, pressing the 'x' on top of the browser and reached for my phone that was plugged to the charger on the bedside table.

**_Do you remember Emmett's party, three years ago? -B_**

It passed five minutes, and even though the message had the little D of delivered, he still hadn't read it and I cursed myself when I realized it was ten minutes past two in the morning and that he probably was sleeping but then the little R appeared and he was typing a response.

**_Barely, why? –E _**

Before I could complete my answer he had sent something else.

**_By the way, what are you doing up this late?_**

**_Couldn't sleep. –B _**

**_And you just thought about Em's party? Really, what's going on, Bella? –E _**

**_By that time, you and Tanya had already... you know... –B _**

**_It took him ten minutes to answer._**

**_Bella... –E _**

**_Just answer, Edward. Please. –B _**

**_Once. –E _**

**_Oh, okay. –B _**

Another fifteen minutes passed, and I thought the conversation was over, but then, just as I was about to put the phone on the bedside table, it beeped.

**_Can I ask you something, Bella? –E _**

**_It's only fair. –B _**

**_Why were you at the diner that night? –E _**

My entire body froze and I took a deep breath before replying. I briefly thought about telling him the truth but then discarded the idea just as fast as it came.

**_Rosalie was hungry.-B _**

**_Can I ask you something else? You have to be extremely honest. –E _**

**_ Yes? –B _**

**_Biers, did you love him? –E_**

**_I already told you I don't, Edward. –B _**

**_Yeah, I know you did but your reaction to you breaking up with him... It left me believing you might. –E _**

_You are the only one I love_. I typed it, and was about to sent it when I realized what I was doing

_DELETE._

**_Goodnight Edward. –B _**

**_Come on Bella, don't be like this. –E _**

**_I don't love him. Goodnight. –B _**

**_Goodnight Bella, sleep well. Six months ago, I would have told you to dream with me but I wouldn't wish you to have a nightmare. –E _**

I read the last one the following morning, and before I left my bed to get dressed I typed quickly.

******_It would never be a nightmare. Have a good day, Edward. –B_**

* * *

It became a routine.

Every night at some point between eleven thirty and midnight he'd text me, and when he didn't I did. I wanted him to be the way I ended and started my days. We never talked at school, though. And it was honestly driving me crazy. Because I had come from not seeing him other than in lunch and English, to seeing him everywhere.

With her.

_Bree._

And that was the topic I introduced one night, dying to know how serious he was about her.

**_So, you're dating her? –B _**

**_Let's not talk about her. –E _**

And that was it.

* * *

I had little to no information at all regarding the relationship status of Edward and Bree and it was about to cause me some sort of... freak out disorder. Edward would have been able to say it in much nicer terms. But then I saw them kissing. And I completely freaked out.

The Coach had send me to retrieve her notebook she had left on the bleachers, the field was already empty and I was whistling as I walked back until I noticed two people sitting on the bleachers. I realized it was Edward and assumed the girl he was talking to was HER, but then she lifted her head and he leaned over to kiss her, and I knew it was actually her. Not that it helped matters, to know for sure but...

And as if that wasn't enough, when I get online later that night I saw that Edward had finally changed his picture and his relationship status did not appear on his information any longer.  
And of course the picture he switched mine with was with Bree_. Of course._

It was an innocent enough picture, just the two of them smiling at the camera, but the way her hand was positioned on his chest screamed possessiveness.

And even later that night, he hadn't texted me and I was growing impatient but I was not going to be the one giving in tonight, I was pissed off. But then three minutes before midnight, my phone beeped and I almost fell down the bed as it startled me.

**_Hey B, what was the page for the English homework? –E _**

Crestfallen, I replied.

**_48 -B_**

**_Thanks. -E_**

And that was the conversation of the night.

* * *

"Alice!" I yelled when I spotted her in front of her locker. She closed it and started off down the hallway opposite from me. I didn't run. Ever. So I didn't, but I did fasten my step to try to get to her, all the while grumbling about how I shouldn't be the one doing this. When I finally reached her, it only took two seconds for her to start crying.

"I am so sorry, Bella!" She wailed as she wrapped her arms tightly around me.

I frowned, completely confused by her reaction but still tried to console her by patting her back. "Alice, why are you sorry?" She cried harder and I sighed, deciding on another approach to the situation. "Alice, really, it's okay. I'm not even that hurt over it or anything." I said truthfully, assuming this was about her brother.

"He was right!" She said suddenly, stepping away from me and rubbing her eyes with her hands, turning her entire face black, because of the mascara. "I didn't believe him! And he was right!"

"Who was right, Alice?" I touched her shoulder, trying to get her to focus. "What's going on?"

"Edward!" She yelled, throwing her arms into the air. "He told me Riley had done something bad!" Again her arms went flailing into the air, but I was too busy trying to catch up that I paid it no attention as she kept talking. "And I didn't believe-"

"Wait." I said, lifting a hand to stop her from talking. "What does Edward have to with this?"

She sniffed once before talking. "He knew, Bella." I felt my blood boil immediately and didn't really register what Alice said next. "He asked me to do something about it but... I didn't."

"Edward? As in _Edward Cullen?" Alice nodded, dumbfounded. "He knew your fucking brother was cheating on me?" She nodded again, not without flinching first. I nodded and pulled out my phone._

**_Need to talk to you. Now! –B _**

_That motherfucker._

* * *

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all :)**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 30**

**Tell me everything that happened,**  
** Tell me everything you saw.**  
** They had lights inside their eyes...**  
** Did you see the closing window,**  
** Did you hear the slamming door?**  
** They moved forward and my heart died...**  
** Please, please tell me what they looked like,**  
** Did they seem afraid of you?**  
** They were kids that I once knew…**

** I can say it, but you won't you believe me.**  
** You say you do, but you don't deceive me.**  
** It's hard to know they're out there,**  
** It's hard to know that you still care.**  
** I can say it, but you won't you believe me.**  
** You say you do, but you don't deceive me.**  
** Dead hearts are everywhere!**

**Dead Hearts - Stars**

**EPOV**

We don't go out again, but we do spend all of our time together. When she has to stay late because of the school paper, I wait for her. Just the way she does when I have to stay because of the practice. Really, it's like a fucking movie. Like, when there is no dialogue and a cheesy song is in the background as a lot of scenes are shown.

Yeah, exactly like that.

But I can't help it. Being with her is... well, it makes me feel good, like... new. Which is a good. Great, even.

We kiss a lot, I hug her just as much only because I can. However, there's a thing. _The_ thing. When she said she didn't want go out with me, she meant it which means we were not really dating. I was cool with it, actually. I just wasn't ready to get into another relationship and this... agreement was sort of fine for now. Yes, for now, which is the reason I am kind of upset right now.

"Hey," I said to Bree's friend that was standing beside her in front of her locker before I leaned closer and kissed Bree's cheek.

"Hey!" The girl said, looking up at me. "So, you're Bree's new boyfriend?" She asked, for some reason she was really excited.

"Um," I eyed her warily before I was going to answer with an affirmative.

"Nah, we're just having fun." Bree said closing her locker door before kissing my cheek. "Right, E?"

_Having fun, huh?_

Oh my God. This is serious; I haven't heard that voice in a while. "Right." I say robotically.

Fun.

_Gre-at._

I don't really know why it upset me, because I wasn't looking for a serious relationship, but the fact that she is just having _fun_ with me... well, it irks me. I didn't notice it then, but later on I would realize that it was all that was needed for me to fall back into _the_ game.

* * *

"She's okay, I guess." I said, shrugging. "She's annoying, though. I don't understand how you stand her."

"Yeah, she's not easy to handle." Jasper spoke about Alice with a fondness in his voice I thought was impossible in him.

"Hey," I started before briefly bringing my cigarette to my mouth. "Did you know Tyler asked Bella out?" I don't know why I said it. I guessed I just needed to tell someone.

"Yeah?" He turned to me, lifting his sunglasses to rest on top of his head. "He's an asshole. Poor Bella."

"She said no." I looked around the field, out of curiosity more than anything, and found her holding some girl's leg as she stretched.

"How do you know?"

"Rosalie told me." I don't know why, but she felt as if it was her duty to inform me of everything going on in Bella's life. We remained silent for a while before Jasper shifted and cleared his throat. I didn't turn, taking advantage over the fact I was wearing sunglasses and watched her. She was now pulling her hair up in a pony tail and I have to admit that the way her body curved with the movement was alluring and had me thinking of some other things.

"Can I tell you something?" I hummed my response and he continued "I think I love Alice." I already knew this, it was quite obvious, and so it didn't shock me. Much. "I'm going to tell her on Valentine's Day."

"Ugh." I groaned. "I hate Valentine's Day." This year, at least, I did. Before, I knew it was a day I had to acknowledge but now, _I didn't know_.

"So you are not doing anything with Bree then?"

"That's the problem, dude." I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. "I don't know what she's expecting from me."

"Oh, right." He said, remembering a previous conversation. "The 'just having fun thing'" He said amused. I clenched my teeth together at the mention of that. Again, Is not that I wanted something serious right now, but having her told me we were 'just having fun' wasn't exactly _nice_ either. "You at least have couple weeks more to figure it out." He muttered, his attention completely gone as his phone beeped.

Ten minutes later, Bree finally emerged from the building and she smiled as she walked to where Jasper and I were sitting on the bleachers. "Hey guys." Jasper barely looked up from his phone and mumbled something, Bree shrugged and turned her entire attention to me. She ran her hand through my hair before reaching over for my shades and putting them on.

I smiled at her and stood up, patting Jasper's shoulder. "See you tomorrow." Again, he barely mumbled something and I rolled my eyes as I took Bree's bag and started walking to the parking lot. She wrapped her arms around my waist as we walked across the field and, in response, I placed an arm around her shoulders. I drove her home and she kissed me quickly before rushing inside. And that was my share of Bree for the day.

I knew she could tell I was acting weird but I just really felt as if by talking to Bella every night I was somehow betraying Bree, so I distanced myself. Somewhat, at least. Not that it was a hard task, considering I was kind of… bitter.

The next day I was picking up my stuff, thinking she had already left when someone came up behind me and covered my eyes with their hands, as soon as this happened I realized it was her, because of the sounds a bracelet she always wore made. I pinched softly her wrist and she moved her hands briefly, before putting them around my neck once she was standing in front of me. She merely smiled at me until I placed my hands on her hips and pulled her in for a kiss. When I'm done kissing her, I looked up and found Felix walking by us, all the while giving me a weird look. I ignore him and go back to my girl.

* * *

Even though we, according to her, are just having fun, we still end up spending most of our time together. Cue to the cheesy song, lots of scenes.

"Hey, listen." I said, turning to her briefly before turning back to the road. "Can we stop by my house first, I wanna get changed."

"Sure." She said, fidgeting with my iPod for a second before some song that seems to belong to one of those Disney chicks took over my car.

"Bree." I groaned, it was the third time that she had synced my iPod with her computer and filled it with her type of music. She chuckled and, I'm sorry, I couldn't stay mad anymore.

She leaned over and placed a hand on my thigh to balance herself to give me a kiss on the cheek. "Gimme a kiss." She said afterward, squeezing my leg. I turned and kissed her quickly, considering that I was still driving.

"Get rid of that shit, Bree." I said seriously as I parked in front of my house. "Are you gonna come in, or what?" I said when I noticed Bree wasn't making a move to get out of the car.

"Oh, wha- yeah." She stuttered, blushing and I just had to lean over and kiss her again, so I did, causing her to blush even deeper. Of course it never occurred to me that the reason behind her stuttering was because it was _my_ house, where my _family_ lived, until Mom came out of the studio as I was dropping my wallet and keys on the little table beside the door.

"Edward," She said, looking at me for less than a second before turning to Bree. "Hello, Sweetheart, I am afraid I don't know your name." I frowned, she was acting all... weird, _intimidating_. From the way she had walked to us and the way her voice turned so formal.

"Bree, Mom. Mom, Bree." I said warily, motioning between them. I recalled my mom asking to meet the girl I had gone out with if it turned serious, and I silently cursed myself because...

_We. Are. Just. Having. Fun._

I dragged Bree up to my room, which for some reason earned me a glare from Mom, and left her by the door as I quickly made my way to the bathroom to change clothes.

"Hey, I'm sorry." I said as I walked back into the room, spotting her sitting on the edge of my bed. "I completely forgot she might be here."

"Ah, it's okay," She chuckled nervously, shrugging. "Your mom is kinda scary, though."

"No," I said as I stood in front of her and took her hands to make her stand up. "She's an angel." I said before taking her face between my hands and pressing my lips to hers.

"Um, Edward?" Bree said after a couple seconds of her not responding to my kiss. "I don't feel comfortable kissing you here." She mumbled against my mouth and I pulled away.

"Why? My mom's not going to come up here." I said before leaning down again but she stopped me by nodding at something behind me. I turned around and...

_Oh, got it. I'm not comfortable now either._

There were tons of picture of Bella and I above my desktop on the corkboard. I walked briskly to it and tugged on all of them before dropping them into the trash can. When I turned around again, Bree was smiling so sweetly, so _brightly_ that it occurred to me that maybe it was more than just _fun_.

* * *

"What the hell is wrong with you!" She yelled right as she saw me.

"Wha-" I stop as she started punching me on my chest. "_Whoa_! Stop!" I yelled as I took a step back. "Bella, stop hitting me!" I took hold of her wrists. "What the hell is going on!"

"I hope you know how much I hate you." She said in a low, lethal voice that sent my heart right down to my feet.

"Yeah, don't worry, I've known for a while."

"You are a fucking asshole."

"You know what Bella?" I asked as I let go of her wrists and pushed her away. "I'm fucking sick of this. You can't yell at me whenever you want just _because_. Do you realize how crazy this is?" She looked up at me, her glare almost making me flinch. "We've not been together for months, Bella. You don't get to treat me as you wish anymore."

"How crazy this is? _How crazy this is_? Are you kidding me? This?" She motioned between us, "_This_ is all your fault, Edward! If you hadn't cheated on-"

"Oh, fucking hell!" I yelled, tugging at the ends of my hair. "I'm sick of this bullshit." I leaned down so we were at eye level. "Yes, Bella, I cheated on you," I spoke slowly. "Now, get the fuck over it!" Out of the corner of my eye I saw her hand twitching and there had been only one other time when her eyes had looked like this, all crazed and shit. "Don't even _think_ about slapping me, Isabella Swan." She didn't, but instead she punched me again on the chest, pushing me away.

We stood there, facing each other for a while until I couldn't help but let out a humorless chuckle. "What the hell are you laughing about?" She yelled as I leaned down to pick my bag.

"One, you haven't even told me what the hell is going on, and two... Fuck... It's just funny to think that I actually wanted _this_, that I actually wanted to be with you." I shook my head. "But I am better off without all this drama, better off without you." I turned around to leave but her following words stopped me.

"Better off with _Bree_?" I turned around again.

"What is it to you?" She didn't answer. "What's wrong about me and Bree, Bella? Huh?" She didn't answer but I saw her eyes water until the point she couldn't hold the tears anymore and she looked down. Her little frame started shaking and she asked me to leave her alone, for some reason that angered me.

No, it infuriated me.

"You don't get to cry, Bella. Not over this." I swallowed hard, the vision of her being so upset being enough to almost bring me to my knees. "You don't get to make me feel like an asshole for making you cry. Bella, you don't get it.

"Do you have any idea of how many times you've broken my heart in the last five months? _You just don't get it_! I'm finally in a place where I think I'm healing... You don't get to try to make me feel like trash and expect me to not defend myself. Not anymore. I know I hurt you, but I've apologized, and that's all I can do about it."

"Well, you don't get it either, Edward." She finally spoke, looking up at me with watery, yet strong, eyes. "You were the reason of my existence during two years. I gave you all of myself during that time... Do you think it was easy for me to have it all thrown back, right at my face? Five months against two years is nothing, Edward. _Nothing_. There are still times when I think I am still in love with you-"

"Don't say things like that, Bella. Is not fair. You act like you don't want me at all and then this? _Don't_ do this."

"-but then I remember all the pain," She continued as if I hadn't just spoken. "How betrayed and unworthy I felt... And now..." She trailed off to dry her eyes before looking right into my eyes, right through me. "I can't believe you didn't tell me about Riley, it was the _least_ you could have done."

"This is all about, then? _Riley_?"

"I can't believe you let me go through that again." She sat down beside my bag and wrapped her arms around her legs that were flush against her torso. "You said that my reaction gave you the idea that I loved him, but honestly," She trailed off and I took her silence as an opportunity to sit down as well. "It just opened a lot of wounds. It wasn't Riley, after all I had gone to Seattle to break up with him..."

"You were going to break up with him?" I asked, surprised.

"The guilt was killing me, Edward." She looked at me again and I knew she was talking about Christmas. "I couldn't stay with him."

We remained in silence for a while and I wasn't mad anymore, I was actually feeling sorry about her. "You wouldn't have believed me, Bella." I muttered.

She looked up at me, into my eyes, for a few minutes before nodding and looking down to her hand that was pulling out grass from the ground. "You are right." She admitted with a little voice.

"Am I?" I asked surprised and she looked up at me. "Yes, of course I am." I said rapidly as I realized I was doubting my own point. She chuckled adorably, shaking her head a little and, God, she looked beautiful.

She sighed and continued talking. "I wish you'd understand." She whispered sadly, looking down to her hand.

"Understand what, B?"

She smiled sadly and shook her head. "B. Do you call her that, too?"

"No." Truth was, the thought had crossed my mind already. One time I was sending her a text. Needless to say the 'B' had turned into 'Bree' before I pressed send. "I know most people call you that, but you're the only 'B' to me. Just as you are my only Baby." I probably shouldn't have said that but I just couldn't help it. She nodded, not looking at me and I moved closer to her so she'd hear my whispered words. "Tell me I'm your only Honey." I don't know why I was doing this. It was just going to end up hurting us both. Call me a masochist.

"You are." I put a finger under her chin and lifted her head so she would look at me. I wanted to kiss her so badly, I was going to, but as I licked my lips in anticipation I tasted Bree's chapstick on them.

She looked dumbfounded when I pulled away so I decided to repeat my original question. "What is it that I don't understand, Bella?" She sighed and looked back to the ground.

"How I _felt_. You were always talking about how _you_ missed me, how sorry _you_ were, how _you'd_ do anything... How _you_ felt. You never stopped to listen to me."

I stopped myself from telling her that if I wanted to get a word with her, I had to be fast and to the point, because of the fear she'd just leave. "Explain it to me, then."

She sighed and kept her eyes glued to the ground as she spoke. "The only reason I agreed to go out with you was because you knew me from before, you know, before I became pretty-"

"You've always been pretty, Bella." I interrupted. "You know, even when you were mean to me because you thought I was making fun of you because of your tutu." She cracked a smile and I chuckled at the memory.

"I never thought you'd end up being so important, Edward." She continued and I sobered up. "It never even crossed my mind that something was wrong... you were always so... _perfect_." She hissed the last word as if it was an insult, which, considering the situation, it kind of was. "And then Tanya is telling me that you..." She swallowed hard.

I wanted to touch her, comfort her, but I refrained. It was better this way.

"At first I was... I dunno, going between angry, sad, disappointed. But then I realized I had to break up with you-"

"You didn't _have_ to." I intervene quickly because if she had tried to let me make up things to her... God, things would be so different.

"Yes I had. That is what you don't get, Edward. You claim that you fell in love with me-"

"_I did_!"

"-but it must have been what, a month before we split up. I realized I had fallen for you before we were even officially together. In my sixteenth birthday, actually. You were so sweet, and caring, and I loved the way I felt when you called me by some pet name, and you looked at me as if I made you the happiest boy alive... I spent two years loving you.

"Every day, you made me fall in love with you all over again. But I always knew that anyone cheating on me was a deal breaker. I never wanted to be that girl, you know? That girl that everyone knows her boyfriend cheats on her and yet she's _there_. I've always thought that a girl that loves herself, won't go through that. And, Edward, there's a lot of me that you don't know about, from before we got together but I need to love myself. That's what has kept me... _healthy_ all these years-"

"Wha- What happened to you? What are you talking about?" I asked half worried and half annoyed that she hadn't told me.

She shook her head. "You made me feel as if I wasn't enough..." She took a deep breath and blushed before she continued talking. "We had just starting... um, having sex, and I thought that may I wasn't... good-" By this point she was no longer a soft pink, she had become a tomato red but still, I had to let her know.

"Baby, you're the best I've ever had." And yes, I called her 'Baby' but, fuck, we were talking about her and I... making love. I am completely entitled to call her that.

"-but then I realized that you had been with her for much longer... so I started thinking what would have happened if I had just agreed to sleep with you sooner-"

"No, Bella, _no_!" I said shaking my head furiously. "You don't get to blame yourself over this. This is not your fault."

"Then whose fault is it?" She asked looking up at me, and her eyes, God her eyes, she was _begging_ for an answer.

"Mine." It hit me that since all this started, it was the first time I had accepted my blame, as completely and only mine. "And I _am_ sorry."

"What is wrong with me, Edward?" She asked softly, looking back down to the grass. "First you, then Riley... What _is_ wrong with me?"

I swear I felt like crying right then, because there she was, a _completely perfect girl_ that had been hurt by two fucking assholes, asking me what was wrong with _her_.

I kneeled in front of her and took her face between my hands. "Nothing, Bella. There is nothing wrong with you. You are smart, and beautiful, and sweet, and funny, and selfless... And, Baby, it's not your fault that stupid guys like me and Biers don't know what they've got." She removed her face from my grasp and rested the side of her face against my chest. I intertwined my fingers with her hair and placed my mouth right next to her ear. "Baby, you are perfect. And someday you'll find a guy that's smart enough to see that before it's too late."

"Promise me, Edward."

"I _swear_, Bella." I said, all choked up because only then I realized how much damage I had done, and because I was admitting that I wasn't the guy for her.

We both had scars left from our relationship but she was right, up until that moment, I didn't really understand how deep Bella's scars ran.

* * *

Thanks for reading,

Ghs


	31. Chapter 31

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

* * *

**Action & Reactions.**

**Chapter 31**

**Tap on my window knock on my door**  
**I want to make you feel beautiful**  
**I know I tend to get so insecure**  
**It doesn't matter anymore**

**It's not always rainbows and butterflies**  
**It's compromise that moves us along, yeah**  
**My heart is full and my door's always open**  
**You can come anytime you want**

**I know where you hide**  
**Alone in your car**  
**Know all of the things that make you who you are**  
**I know that goodbye means nothing at all**  
**Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls**

**She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5**

**EPOV**

_"Bella!" I yelled out of the passenger seat window. She looked at me and waved, smiling. I responded by motioning her to get closer._

_"What's up, Cullen?" She asked smiling as she stood in front of the window._

_"What are you doing there, do you need a ride?" She had been standing on the end of the steps looking anxious. "Come on, get in." I pushed the door open a little, so it wouldn't hit her._

_"My dad's coming in fe-"_

_"Get in, Bella." I insisted, "I don't feel comfortable leaving you all alone here." She didn't look convinced so I turned on my puppy eyes and turned to look right into her eyes. "Please." She sighed and slid into the car, not looking at me as she fastened her seatbelt. I smiled and shook my head. Bella was so incredibly shy that it was endearing. So much so, that..._

_I reached behinds us, patting the backseat blindly until I found the squared box. "Here," I said, tossing the box onto her lap without much fanfare, knowing she'd shut down completely and dreading she'd get the wrong idea, "Happy Valentine's Day."_

_She smiled and looked up at me. "Do you just carry around chocolate boxes for random girls?" She asked jokingly and I glared in the same way._

_"First of all, you're not random. We've known each other forever. Second of all, no, I don't carry around chocolate boxes. I bought it for you."_

_"Really?" She asked surprised, I nodded. "Why?"_

_"Well, because Valentine's Day is not only about romantic love. At least not for me. Look," I pointed to the backseat where two other boxes were resting on it. "One's for my mom, and the other one is for my Nonna."_

_"You give chocolates to your grandma and mom, that's kinda sweet, Edward." She said surprised and I pushed down the feeling of annoyance. Why couldn't she think I was a good guy?_

_"So, any hot date for tonight, Bells?"_

_She laughed as if it was the most absurd idea ever. "Oh, yes. Me and my TV are on for a night full of romance." I laughed at her joke and shook my head. "What about you, Cullen? From all the girls parading around you this week, which one did you chose?"_

_"I resent that, you know?" I said, pointing at her. "Those girls like me, it is not my fault." Why did it bother me so much that she thought so low of me? "And you know what? I am actually spending today with this amazing girl that didn't 'parade' around me this week." I said as I turned the car. I had told my mom I would have the Volvo back before it got dark, she was afraid I'd get caught driving without a license, but damn it, I couldn't have Bella thinking like that. "And maybe you should know that you, Isabella Swan, just became my date."_

* * *

_"This is kidnapping, you know?" She poked me on the ribs and I started walking faster. "And, in case you forgot, my dad is a cop."_

_"Shut up, Bella." I grabbed her elbow as we walked through the automatic doors. "This way," I said, leading her to the arcade._

_"This is so lame, Edward." She chuckled as she realized where we were going._

_"Shut up. You are gonna have fun." I grinned at her and she rolled her eyes._

_"One condition." She stopped me and I stood in front of her. "This is not a date."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because I don't want a pity date."_

_"Why would I pity you?" I was getting annoyed. Why couldn't she let me do something kind of nice for her?_

_"Because, well, it's Valentine's Day and I don't have a date."_

_"You don't have a date because you don't want to, I know you turned down most of my friends. Besides, I don't have a date either, why would I pity you over that? You know what, whatever. I was just doing this because I thought we were friends and I thought this would be fun... Come on, I'll just drive you home." I fished the keys out of my pocket and started walking back to the exit of the mall completely and thoroughly annoyed. She followed right behind me and I didn't bother to open the door for her, just getting in and turning on the ignition before she was fully inside the car._

_"I'm sorry." She said, halfway back home and I just nodded. "Edward," She whined. "Come on, I'm sorry." I turned to look (okay, maybe it was more of a glare) at her and she was pouting unconsciously at me. "Chocolate?" She asked, extending her hand with a chocolate between two of her fingers._

_"Really? You are going to offer the chocolates I gave YOU as a peace offering?" She shrugged, smiling, and I took the chocolate from her and tossed it into my mouth, turning to look at her afterwards. I winked at her when I noticed she was smiling. "Okay, so what do you want to do in Forks? Because I am not driving back to Port Angeles."_

_"Dunno... We can just go to the park, I guess."_

_"No," I laughed. "I mean, Forks doesn't have much places where to hang out but, the park?"_

_"Okay, whatever." She rolled her eyes and turned to the radio._

_"No, no, no, no." I said, slapping her hand away. "Rule number one, don't ever mess with the radio."_

_"What?" She laughed, "What the hell are you talking about?" She managed to say, still laughing. "Rules of what?"_

_"Rules to hang out with a guy!" I said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world._

_"God, you are crazy." I turned to her and noticed how her eyes were bright, her cheeks flushed, and a little smile adorning her lips._

_"It adds to my charm, Babe." I said cockily, winking at her. Babe, huh? That's a new one._

_"Yeah, well, I still remember when you were shorter than me. Your charm doesn't affect me." I turned to glare at her and it was now her turn to wink at me._

_God, that was kind of hot. I mean, I wasn't blind. I knew Bella was an attractive girl but we knew way too much about each other for me to actually see her as someone I'd go after. Not to mention my parents would kill me if something went wrong. But I was suddenly seeing what all of my friends saw in her._

_"Uh," I shifted on my seat, not looking at her and thinking on how to change the subject. "Do you know where are we going for the summer?"_

_"I heard Mom talking to Esme the other day, they are thinking on a beach or something." She said, uninterested._

_"You are not going to ditch me this year, are you?" I asked playfully but the way her expression changed told me I had fucked up._

_"Um, no." She said awkwardly and I immediately thought of something to say to change the tense atmosphere that had taken over the conversation._

_"Huh, I guess I'm going to see you in a bikini." What? I mentally slapped, kicked, punched, and basically inflicted harm on myself. "The guys are totally going to be jealous." I added as an afterthought, trying to remove myself from the equation as much as possible._

_"I'm going to wear one of those full-body suits that surfers wear. It's decided." She said, blushing a deep red._

_I chuckled and shook my head. "Come on, Bells, most of the guys at school have been turned down by you, what's up with that?" I asked, genuinely curious._

_She shrugged, "I just don't trust them."_

_"Hey, you still have your tree house, right?" She nodded and looked at me, wondering why I even asked. I pulled out my phone and ordered a pizza to pick up when we got to Forks. "We'll get back to that subject, Missy." She rolled her eyes and reached again for the radio. "Hey! Rule number one!" She slapped me softly on the arm and turned the volume higher._

_Once we got into the pizza place, we had to wait few minutes until the pizza was done and we even got asked if we wanted it heart-shaped. How we were even supposed to eat that was beyond me, so I refused._

_Bella giggled beside me and I turned to her, an eyebrow raised. "Valentine's Day turns people crazy." She whispered, leaning closer to me and I got a whiff of her perfume. Nice. In my opinion, there was nothing better on a girl than the smell of something sweet, not too strong._

_We didn't talk on our way to her place, other than to inform her we were going to spend our evening in her tree house. In my defense, it was like the coolest tree house ever. It was more of a tree apartment, actually. I don't know how, but the Chief had managed to divide the thing in two, one side was the room and the other side was the 'living'._

_We head out into the backyard and I let her climb up first. Instinctively, I looked up, and had to look right back down. Edward! Stop thinking about her in that way! I shook my head before climbing up and..._

_"Okay, this was bigger the last time I was here." She chuckled and moved to the side so I could sit beside her._

_"Maybe you are the one that has grown, Edward, isn't that more logical?" She said with a teasing smile and I just rolled my eyes at her._

_I opened the box and took a slice out, biting into it. "So," I started as she took a slice out for herself. "What's wrong with all the guys at school?" She frowned and I chuckled. "Told you we were going back to the subject."_

_"Is just that, they became interested in me after I became a cheerleader, and that is like the less important part of me. I just joined because Rose asked me to."_

_"So what... You're never going to have a boyfriend then?" I asked, nudging her side._

_"Well... Maybe some family full of hot guys will move in?" She giggled again and shook her head._

_"You could just try it out, you know? Maybe you will find someone that's worth your time." I said, leaning over to pick another slice._

_"Maybe," She offered noncommittally before talking again. "And what about you, Edward Cullen? What is your explanation?"_

_"To being single?" I shrugged, stretching my legs in front of us. "I enjoy being single. I don't have to deal with silly fights, jealousy, anniversaries or any special date... The entire high school drama? It just passes me by. And I still get laid."_

_She shook her head, and moved slightly away from me. "You are disgusting, Edward." She said seriously and I felt annoyed again._

_"Have you ever had sex?" I asked in a clipped tone._

_"No," She said proudly and I thought that, yes, she deserved better than to all the assholes in this town._

_But I was still annoyed for her judging me. "I thought so."_

_"I am not judging you, Edward." She said in a softer voice. "I've heard sex can be great but look at it this way, if you ever fall in love, you'll want that girl to be only yours..." I hated how she said 'if', of course I was going to fall in love at some point in my life. I wanted to have kids and a wife... Like in twenty years, but still._

_"Well, yeah... But that's kinda impossible, don't you think? I mean, from my friends, you are the only that's still a virgin."_

_"Okay. Let's talk about something else." She said, fidgeting and I turned to look at her._

_"I can't believe you are blushing now. We've been talking about this for about ten minutes." I tried not to laugh, but still a chuckle or two came out. "Sorry. I didn't mean to laugh." She shrugged, hiding her face beneath a curtain of her hair. I took hold of her chin and turned her to see me. "You are an adorable little thing, you know that?" I cooed, squeezing her fleshy cheeks._

_"Edward," She softly slapped my hand away and looked back down. "Stop making fun of me."_

_"Hey, I was not making fun of you." I said softly, "Bella, I'm not saying it's wrong... It is just..."_

_"Weird?" She completed my sentence for me._

_"Yes, but no in the way you are thinking. Bella, you are doing the right thing, you know? The guy you fall in love with, he's going to be happy you waited for him."_

_"Really, let's just stop talking about this."_

_"Hey, wanna play poker?" I asked changing the subject and reaching over to pick a box of cards that were on a little shelf below the window._

_"I don't know how to." She admitted softly._

_"That's okay, I'll teach you." I said with a smile, there was no way I could fuck this up._

_We stayed in the tree house well into the night, the light of her neighbors' backyard saving us from being in darkness. We played poker all the while we talked, nothing as personal as our sex lives, or lack thereof, but still, it surprised me how she had an strong opinion on everything. And it left me in awe how her face would light up every time I let her win._

_Around nine, my mom started calling so we had to call it a night. We walked into her house and went out through the front door._

_"I had fun today." She said, standing under the threshold._

_"You sound surprised." I raised an eyebrow and she blushed. "I had fun, too, Bella. Tell you what, next year, if a pack of hot guys hasn't moved into town, let's do this again." She threw her head back in laughter and I couldn't help but smile._

_"That sounds great to me." She smiled brightly at me, and then did something that surprised the hell out of me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and squeezed me. I reacted before she could pull away and wrapped my arms around her as well, hugging her close to me, and loving every second of it. "Thanks." She said softly and looked up at me as she pulled apart._

_"For what?"_

_She shrugged and blushed again. "You know, the non-pity date."_

_"So it was a date." I wiggled my eyebrows and she chuckled, pushing me away._

_"Get out of here, and it wasn't a date."_

_"You know," I started walking to my car, still facing her though. "I could just tell my friends I spend hours with you on the tree house, they'd go nuts." She glared at me and I lifted my hands in surrender. "I'm just messing with you." She rolled her eyes before disappearing behind her door, and only then did I turn to walk normally to my car._

_I had never understood why my friends were all crazy about the entire dating thing, being committed to someone. I just didn't get it. Until today. I got it now. If being in a relationship meant, having days like this, everyday, it was totally worth it. _

_"Wow," I sighed as it hit me that I wanted to be someone's boyfriend. Well, Bella's boyfriend, more specifically._

* * *

I sighed, rolling onto my back and my eyes focused on the empty cork-board, then my eyes traveled down to the trashcan where the pictures still were. I knew my mom emptied the can every morning, so I guessed she was still Team-Bella in this situation. I mean, yeah, I could have been more considerate about the pictures and the memories they represented but it's not as if it was doing me any good having them there after so many months.

I sighed again and stretched my arms on either side of me, my fingers falling down the sides of the bed. Valentine's Day. It angered me that I was upset over not doing anything this year. I asked Bree and she rejected me by saying it was too couple-like for her liking.

My head was starting to hurt from having it upside down but I really didn't care, and by the time Mom came into the room, the pain was already gone.

"Hey, Mom." I said, smiling upside down at her.

"Edward," She sighed amusedly with a smile on her face as she sat on the chair in front of my desk. "How are you?"

"Eh," I said with a shrug. "Been better."

She softly kicked the can and raised her eyebrow. "What does this mean?"

I thought about being a smartass but just shrugged again. "They made Bree uncomfortable."

"Is that so?" She asked, "And where is she today? It's Valentine's Day, after all..." She said disapprovingly.

"Where is your date for today?" I asked, annoyed.

"Your father is getting ready, Edward." She scowled,

I sighed, "We are not really dating, Mom." I admitted, trying to get her to calm down.

"And for a girl you are 'not really dating' you threw away all of your memories with Bella?"

"Okay." I started, rolling into my stomach before continuing. "First of all, those pictures are not even a third of my memories of Bella, and second of all, I have copies of all those pictures, and the scrapbook, and I have them on my computer. So I didn't just throw away my memories of Bella."

"Still, Edward, you are completely disrespecting her by doing what you did with the pictures."

"Mom! Bella and I haven't been together for months! And even so, she did the same thing!"

"Right, the boxes." She sighed and my eyes widened.

"Mom! Why did you go through my stuff!"

"Sorry, it was unintentional. I was cleaning and I just saw the boxes."

"Ugh, whatever." I muttered before pressing my face against the mattress. After a minute or so, I felt her sit beside me and her hand went to my hair, playing with it softly.

"My little boy," She sighed and I felt myself relax completely. "Edward, when a relationship ends, both parties are to blame-"

"Nuh-huh," I interrupted, "This was completely and entirely my fault."

"There's also the aftermath, Edward. When people are hurt, they can say really hurtful things. No one comes completely unharmed, or not having harmed, from a relationship."

"Well, I deserved it." I sighed sadly and Mom slapped me on the head.

"No one deserves to be hurt." I didn't say anything for few minutes and just let her ran her fingers through my hair, appreciating the feeling of being a kid all over again.

"Mom, I love her." I whispered. "I love her so much."

"I know you do, Sweetie, which is why I don't understand why you are just giving up on her."

"Because, Mom, she deserves better than me."

"Edward," Her voice was firm and her movements on my scalp stopped. "I can see how much you love her, and honestly, a girl her age... That's all she needs in a boy."

"Is not only that," I sighed, "I just can't really see us moving on from everything that went wrong... I don't know if I am able to fix things up."

"Well, Edward, I can assure you that seeing other girls is not the way to start."

"I waited around for her all this time, I am just starting to even consider the idea of being with someone else. And that is only because I know I don't want to be alone forever."

"Listen, Bree is not your first choice and you know it. Bella is. It's not fair to either of them, the way you are acting." She patted my shoulder and kissed my head before saying there was food on the microwave and that they'd be back late so just close all the doors. I nodded and told her I loved her before she closed the door.

There was not a long distance between the end of my bed and the desk, so I just stretched my arms to grab the can and pick up the pictures. I laid them on the floor, and still laying on the bed, observed them.

_Bella and I at the beach._

_Bella and I in the pool._

_Bella and I in Paris._

_Bella and I as kids._

_Bella and I skiing._

_Bella and I at Christmas._

_Bella and I..._

_Bella and I..._

_Bella and I..._

_Bella_

_Bella_

_Bella_

_Bella_

Overwhelmed, I grabbed all the pictures hastily and threw them against the wall. I couldn't stay in my room anymore. I was sick of everything. I wanted her, but most of all, I wanted her to want me. Completely, not just when she got confused. I wanted her to need me and miss me, just as I need and miss her.

I jumped up to my feet, emptied a little box and pocketed its content and grabbed my keys before running down the stairs and to the garage. I needed to calm the fuck down, so I took my bike and just sped down the driveway. But then, I found myself in front of her porch.

_Ah, fuck,_ I thought, _might as well do it._

I knocked on the door and waited for around a minute before the door was opened. She looked surprised to see me but, God, I just couldn't help myself. She didn't know this, but it was exactly three years since I realized I wanted to be with her. And goddamit, I wanted to be with her.

I hooked my thumbs with the loops for her belt and pulled her against me, before crashing my lips to hers. She stood frozen in surprise for few seconds before she leaned into me and kissed me back. My fingers were digging into the skin on her lower back, hers were curled around my shirt, and air just wasn't needed anymore.

We heard someone yell Bella's name and reluctantly pulled apart. "Bella!" A little girl came running to where we were standing on the porch but she stopped abruptly when she saw me.

"I'm babysitting." Bella answered my unspoken question. "What's wrong, Sweetheart?" The little girl said nothing and kept staring at me with wide eyes. Not knowing what to do, I simply nodded at her and she ran back into the house. Bella stood up and turned awkwardly to me. "Listen, I have to figure out what's wrong with Rachel... Uh, you can come in... If you want to..." I simply pushed her gently into the house and closed the door as she went to search for the girl. I wandered into the living room and sat on the couch where Bella had obviously been sitting on before I... what exactly did I do? I mean, yes, I kissed her but, what did it mean? What did I want it to mean?

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, I noticed Bella's laptop was open and with the tip of my finger I turned it slightly to check what she was doing before I came. The website of an university was opened and just as I was going to scroll up to see the name, I heard footsteps.

"Sorry," Bella said, sitting next to me and closing her laptop.

"What did I do to her?" I inquired, leaning against the couch since I had been sitting on the edge.

"Nothing, she's just shy."

"Uh, and why are you babysitting?" I turned to look at her and noticed how she was sitting, her legs folded beneath her, her body turned completely in my direction.

"One of Mom's friends needed someone to take care of her daughter, and since I didn't have plans..." She trailed off and I my eyes zeroed in on her swollen lips.

"I heard about Tyler." I stated, feigning nonchalance.

"Ugh. You did?" She hid her face.

"Yeah, how come you didn't go out with him?"

"How come you are not with Bree?" She shot back and I nodded.

"Okay, okay. Got it. Won't ask again."

"No, really." She said softly. "What are you doing here? Isn't this going to upset her?"

I'm here because I couldn't stop thinking about you.

"Bree and I aren't really together." I decided against saying the rest, though.

"Yeah?"

"Yup." I closed my eyes and leaned my head on the back of the couch.

"Edward," Bella whispered after few minutes, "What are you doing here?"

"You want me to leave?" I asked, eyes still closed.

"Is not that, is just that-"

"I don't know," I turned my head to the side to see her and opened my eyes. "I have no idea of what I am doing here." She sighed and stood up, I followed her movements with my eyes.

"I'm going to go upstairs," She announced before looking me in the eye, it wasn't an invitation, she simply was confused over me being here. I was confused, too.

"No, no." I tugged on her shirt and pulled her onto my lap. "Stay here."

"Edward... _what_ are you doing?" I only responded by burying my face into the crook of her neck and wrapping an arm around her waist. After few minutes, she just slid down from my lap, sitting on the space between me and the armrest, her legs on top of my thighs.

"What did you do with the kid?" I asked, running a hand through my hair while the other one curled around Bella's calf.

"She's watching a movie in my bedroom." Her voice was weird so I turned to her and frowned at the way her eyes were all guarded.

"Can we do the same thing? Here, though." I motioned to the flat screen in front of us as if to explain myself when in reality, there was no explanation to all this craziness.

"Sure, I guess." She said aloof, reaching over for the remote and switching channels until she found something she wanted to watch. After a while, she switched positions and I moved a bit to the side to give her more space but she surprised me by resting her head against my shoulder, I wrapped an arm around hers and tucked her into my body.

"Here," I whispered, holding the ring I had just taken from my pocket. She lifted her head to look at me after seeing what I was holding.

"What is that?"

"Well, a ring?" I chuckled nervously.

"Edward." She said sternly and I sighed.

"Remember Christmas? The box you threw at me? Well, this was inside. Do you want it?" She took it from my fingers and eyed it, before closing her hand around it.

"Edward..." I knew she was about to say something to give it back politely so I cut her off.

"It's yours. I mean, what am I going to do with that?"

She sighed, looking down to her now opened hand. "Thanks." She tried it on two fingers before leaving it on. I debated with myself about telling her the meaning of it or not for few seconds before deciding to just leave it alone. "You are something else." She said, looking up at me.

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" I asked, running my hand through my hair.

"I don't know, Edward." She lifted her hand to my neck and her fingers grazed the little hairs on my neck, making me shudder slightly. "I don't know." She repeated before applying some pressure on my neck and pulling me closer, she moved the rest of the way and pressed her lips gently against mine.

I knew we were kissing, but I just had _no idea_ of what was going on. This was seriously confusing. We hadn't talked since the day on the football field but here we were, kissing on her couch. And then it hit me, we were kissing. It wasn't a desperate kiss, or sorry kiss, or drunken kiss, or any kind of kiss we had shared on the last five months or so. This was a kiss we were sharing simply because we wanted to, because we could. Maybe we shouldn't, but we could. I wasn't the only one wanting this anymore. We both were.

This was back on the table for us.

The thought didn't fill me with joy as I thought it would have. I was just too confused over everything and my thoughts haven't changed from the fact that maybe this was more than what I could handle. I pulled apart briefly and saw her face, the soft blush on her cheeks, her reddened lips, the little smile curving just the end of her mouth and the little sparkle in her eyes.

I kissed her again, again, and again. She was the only thing in my world right then.

She wrapped her arms around my neck at the same time I wrapped one of mine around her waist and shifted until I was kind of hovering over her. After a while, I pulled apart and rested my head on her chest, loving the feel of her heart beating erratically against my ear. I shifted our bodies again so she was lying on top of me and buried my face on her hair, holding her tightly against me. We stayed like that for a while, until she told me she needed to go check on the little girl, however, I knew it wasn't the only reason she was leaving. This was only confirmed when she came back and instead of lying back down on top of me, she sat on the edge of the couch beside me.

"Edward, _really_, why are you here?" She looked right into my eyes as she said this.

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked for the second time, lifting my torso and resting my weight on my elbows in order to see her better.

"No, it's not that... I just don't understand, Edward. What's going on?"

I groaned and closed my eyes. "Fuck, I don't know... The pictures... Mom... You... Agh, I don't know."

"You are not making any sense."

I jumped to a sitting position, surprising Bella with the sudden movement but continued talking nonetheless. "Baby, I kept thinking about you, I wanted to see you. I _needed_ to see you." I took a deep breath. "I'm so confused, Bella." I admitted softly. "I am tired of being without you. I want to be with you, but I know I am all wrong for you, you deserve so much better, Sweetheart."

"And what if I want _you_?"

"You shouldn't."

"But what if I do?" She reiterated, her eyes becoming alive with an emotion I did not recognize.

"Do you?" She didn't answer and looked down instead. "Bella, do you want me?" I asked again but still, received no response. "Bella, it's obvious there's still something between us." I said, not feeling slightly guilty for doing this to Bree. Mom was right, Bree wasn't my first choice, and when it came for me to choose... Well, I was choosing Bella. If she wanted me, I was all hers. "Baby," I nudged her chin softly to get her to look at me "If I asked you to at least try, just seeing if things may work between us again, what would you say?"

"You are right, there still too much going on between us." She rested her head against my chest and pushed me back down onto the couch. "I'd say yes."

* * *

**Okay guys, the only reason I am posting this is because I already had it finished by the time I received that last review...**

**Apparently my writing sucks, my story sucks, the characters suck. Everything sucks...**

**I am not against you guys telling me if I made a mistake but there are ways to do so. I am not perfect, far from it, and I am bound to make mistakes. I don't have a Beta or pre-readers, so yes, I might miss a mistake here and there.**

**For some reason, the last chapter brought in some mean readers, and it really brought me down. Again, is not the comment, but the way it's commented. I mean, 'I pray thee, gentle writer, never write again' that's just plain rude. I don't get why would people read through all of the chapters only to leave hurtful comments at the end. You do know you can just click the 'x' on top of your screen, right?**

**I won't stop writing this story, because I hate when an author does that but... Yeah, the motivation is completely gone now.**

**I had around 15 chapters more planned because halfway through my writing I thought of a better ending but don't worry, I will go for the original ending and try to wrap everything up in just few more chapters, in order to save you from my dreadful writing but still give you the conclusion of the story.**

**And those of you who probably have bad taste and asked me to write something else... I had plans to, few ideas running through my head... But I just won't. I am not a professional writer, and the only reason I started doing this was for fun. I thought that was what this site was for. Apparently I was wrong. I'll just stop writing when this is finished and leave it to those that I assume are some kind of experts and do it perfectly. I wouldn't know it, though since most of them like to remain anonymous.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Ghs.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all **

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 32**

**Let's start over.**  
**I'll try to do it right this time around.**  
**It's not over.**  
**'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.**  
**This love is killing me,**  
**But you're the only one.**  
**It's not over.**

**Taken all I could take,**  
**And I cannot wait.**  
**We're wasting too much time**  
**Being strong, holding on.**  
**Can't let it bring us down.**  
**My life with you means everything,**  
**So I won't give up that easily.**  
**I'll blow it away, blow it away.**  
**Can we make this something good?**  
**'Cause it's all misunderstood.**  
**Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.**

**It's Not Over - Daughtry**

**EPOV**

She scooted closer to me, burying her face in my chest and sighed when I put an arm around her. The little girl in front of us kept talking with a fake high pitched voice, assuming that Barbies talked like that. Apparently, she got over her shyness and just few minutes ago, came downstairs and demanded we entertain her. So, naturally, I was Ken.

Bella laughed every time I had to talk and move the doll, every time I would pinch her side softly in response. "Hey, Rach?" I asked without my Ken voice so the girl knew I was talking to her, not her Barbie.

"Yes?" She asked looking up at me with huge eyes.

"I think Bella wants to play, do you have another doll she can use?" Bella pinched my side not so softly and I smirked, moving as far as I could from her hand without letting go of her which wasn't much.

Rachel's eyes grew huge with excitement. "I'll be right back!" She yelled before disappearing down the hallway.

"See, you shouldn't make fun of me." I said with a smile and Bella rolled her eyes, sliding her hand beneath my shirt and wrapping it around my waist. She ran her hand up and down few times and I shuddered, hiding my face in the crook of her neck. "This feels surreal." I whispered. "I can't believe I'm here with you. It feels like I'm dreaming." She moved her hand to the back of my head and pulled on my hair softly. I lifted my head and kissed her; still a little wary about it, afraid she would change her mind. I only pressed my lips against hers for few seconds, loving the warmth and softness, before she started moving her lips. I pulled apart when I heard little feet running down the hallway, and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before Rachel ran back into the room.

"This is real, Edward." Bella whispered into my ear and I smiled, squeezing her body closer to mine.

"Give this to Bella." Rachel said, handing me a doll.

"Baby," I said, smirking as she took the doll from my hands.

"She's your Barbie?" Rachel asked and I turned to see her.

"What?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"You called her 'Baby'" She said as if that explained her question. "Mommy calls Daddy that," She said still with the 'duh' tone. She huffed when it was obvious we were not following. "Mommy is Daddy's Barbie."

"Oh," I said after I sort of understood but then I realized I didn't really know where I stood with Bella. "But Bella's prettier than Barbie, Rach." Bella rolled her eyes, but still her cheeks became rosy.  
"And you are prettier than Ken." Rachel said and Bella bursted out laughing, moving away from under my arm.

"Shut up." I groaned, wrapping my arm back around her and pressing her face against my chest in an attempt to stop the laughter, her shoulders kept shaking though, so I knew she was still laughing.

"I'm not pretty, Rachel." I said sternly and pushed the doll away from me with the tip of my finger as if its prettiness was contagious. "And I don't wanna play anymore." I huffed and Bella came up to hold my chin between her fingers.

"You're such a baby, Edward." She cooed and I scowled at her. The phone rang and Bella stood up to pick it up, coming few minutes later, still smiling. "Come on, Rachel, your parents are going to be here soon, let's get you all packed." She winked at me as they walked out of the living room and I just kept scowling even though I was loving every second of this. It was simply perfect. When they came back downstairs, they had matching grins and I rolled my eyes, knowing I was in for some sort of prank. We stared at each other until there was a knock on the door, signaling Rachel parents were here and she came running to me and hugged me.

"Bye, Pretty Boy!" She squealed when I reached to tickle her and ran out of the living room, behind Bella's laughing form.

When Bella came back into the room I was still scowling like a kid and she came to sit beside me, "Oh, look at you. You're so pretty when you get mad."

"I am not pretty." I didn't look at her, stubbornly so, and she kissed my cheek before wrapping her arms around my neck, her mouth almost touching my ear.

"Well, you are certainly the most handsome man I've ever seen." She whispered sultrily and I loved how she said man, instead of boy or guy.

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice suddenly hoarse.

"Oh, yes, and so hot." She took my earlobe between her lips softly tugging on it, and I hummed in response, urging her on. "And strong," Her hand slid down to my bicep and I flexed my muscles instinctively. "And-" I cut her off by pressing my lips against hers; I could have listened to her all night but the urge to kiss her was stronger for two main reasons. One, this was still surreal to me, and in case this was indeed a dream I wanted to get as much as I could. Two, because it kind of turned me on, hearing her talk like that.

She smiled against my lips and pulled away, mischief clearly in her eyes. "Who would have imagined Edward Cullen was so easy?"

"Shut up, Bella." I leaned down to kiss her again and this time she responded, her hands on the back of my head as I laid her down with me on top of her, one hand holding me up while the other one was curled around her ribcage. She moaned into the kiss when I pushed my tongue between her lips and shuddered when I caressed the underside of hers with mine. I was a guy after all, and I loved knowing I could make her feel like this. It gave me a feeling that I couldn't really describe... It was as if I had some sort of power over her, it made me feel wanted but more than that... It made me feel needed, and in the state my self-esteem was, that was exactly what I needed.

I pulled apart, needing to see her and was mesmerized at the way her hair was splayed all over the cushion, the way her eyes were closed, her mouth slightly open, and her cheeks pink. She didn't open her eyes and instead pulled me down again. I started off again, softly moving my lips against hers but she let out a little whimper before her tongue softly grazed my lower lip and I opened my mouth but she retreated, teasing me. She did this few times before I grew frustrated and groaned, moving my hand beneath her head, as I moved my tongue into her mouth again, she sucked on it and, God, this felt better than heaven. A weird sound came from my mouth, something between a growl and a whimper, and I had to resist the urge to rub myself against her. I pulled away, sucking softly on her bottom lip, before I kissed her cheek once and made my way down her jaw, stopping just below her ear and nibbling softly.

"Edward," She whispered softly, her hands moving beneath my shirt and her nail scraping the skin over my shoulder blades, I shuddered and moved my mouth to the other side of her neck, whispering her name and letting her know how much I enjoyed kissing her.

I didn't even remember when the last time we had kissed like this was. During the time we were not together, we had kissed sporadically but it just wasn't like this, not even during Christmas break, the night we slept together, was like this. I had felt as if I was running out of time, our kisses were all desperate and needy but this, this felt as if it could last forever, this kisses were all passion and, at least on my part, love.

I really had no clue whether Bella still loved me or not, she hadn't said anything and the fact that we were going to give us another shot didn't necessarily meant she loved me. I hoped she did, but at the same time I'd understand if she didn't. On the other hand, I was irrevocably, head over heels in love with her. "Edward, what time is it?" She asked in a low voice and I moved so I was looking at her.

"What?" I wasn't sure if I had heard her right or if she truly was asking for the hour while I was kissing her.

"My parents said they'd be here by midnight, Edward."

"Oh," I shook my wrist so my sleeve would rise a bit and my watch to be in the right position. Fuck. I sighed dejectedly and let my head fall into the curve of Bella's neck. "Eleven forty." I mumbled and she started massaging my scalp. I actually purred like a fucking cat. I was way too sensitive tonight. After few minutes she started giggling and I moved my head up to see her. "What are you laughing about, Baby?"

"We spent more than an hour just kissing." She blushed while she said this and I smirked.

"I could easily spend the rest of my live just kissing you, Isabella Swan." She looked as if she wanted to jump me but she sobered up quickly enough.

"Too bad you can't." She sighed and patted my shoulder to get me to move from above her. "I don't want you to, but you have to go home." I nodded, I didn't want to, either, but if I was scared of Charlie Swan before, now I was absolutely terrified because I didn't know how much he knew about what went down between Bella and I. I stood up and straightened my shirt, that Bella had moved pretty much all the way up to my shoulders and followed her out of the house. "I really don't want you to leave." Bella said at the same time she wrapped her arms around me tightly.

"And I really don't want to leave." I said, holding her just as tight. This suddenly reminded me to the time when we had just started dating, how we couldn't get enough of each other. I smiled, because, well, this was supposed to be a new beginning so it fit perfectly.

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me chastely, her hair tickling my fingers with the movement of her head, and I kissed her softly once more when she had pulled apart. "I'll see you tomorrow at school, Baby."

"'Kay." She mumbled, kissing my cheek. I turned my head and kissed her again.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Bella." I mumbled against her lips, and she smiled, returning the sentiment before stepping away from my embrace and giving me a quick peck on the lips.

"Goodnight, Edward." I smiled, knowing that it had been a good night, and there was no way it could be ruined.

* * *

Next day, I didn't really see her much. The Coach sent me to take care of some paperwork during lunch and I got late into English. She smiled when I came in, and I winked at her but the teacher was in a foul mood so we didn't really talk or anything, I just sat closer to her than usual and let my arm rest on the back of her chair, playing with the ends of her hair. Before she could walk out of the classroom but after everyone had left, I tugged on her elbow and kissed her quickly. She blushed, kissed my cheek and left.

The cheer practice was in the gym today so I didn't see her then, either. However, she was the best girl ever and came out to the field when she was done. The problem was that as soon as I saw a little black haired kid during practice, I remembered his sister that, for all intents and purposes I was still seeing. As casual as it was, I had to talk to her.

I felt a hand sneaking around my waist from behind and tensed briefly, before recognizing it was Bella. "Edward," She said softly before she kissed my shoulder. I turned around smiling; trying to mask the guilt I was feeling. I didn't want her to think I was regretting last night because I wasn't. I don't think I even could. I took her face gently between my hands and looked around, checking that none of the Tanners were around before leaning down to kiss her.

I had planned on something more than the very brief contact Bella allowed me, and I certainly wasn't planning on fighting with her. "What the hell was that?" She stepped away, her eyes guarded and unsure.

"Me trying to kiss you." I wasn't sure what she meant by 'that' so I just played dumb.

"Edward," She said sternly, "Why did you look around like that?" I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"Baby," I took a step closer to her but she took a step back and I knew I was in for trouble. Our fights seemed to always start like this. "I still need to talk to Bree, Bella." I explained, begging with my eyes for her to understand.

"I thought you were not dating her?" She crossed her arms over her chest and I sighed.

"I'm not, but we were seeing each other, Bella."

"That's like the same thing, Edward." Her face was turning red from anger and I wanted to shoot myself. I should have looked for Bree at some point during the day and talked to her. I knew I was bullshitting myself because I wouldn't have been able to end things with her. Not because I didn't want to, I was sure Bella was the one for me, but because I didn't know how to.

"No it's not."

"Yes it is!" Her voice rose and shook her head when she realized this. "Listen Edward, I refuse to be the Tanya of your relationship with her."

"Bella, come on, that doesn't even make sense, you are everything to me."

"Whatever, Edward." She shook her head sadly and looked down to the floor.

"Baby, I love you." I said desperately, taking her face back between my hands. "I just got you back, I can't lose you again." I leaned down to kiss her, not caring if anyone saw anymore, but she turned her face to the side and my lips landed on her cheek.

"I'm not going to be a part of your games." She said in a way that let me know she was expecting this, and it killed me because, fuck, my girl shouldn't be expecting me to hurt her.

"Bella, Baby, please. I just have to talk to her." When I said this, I realized the solution to this was quite simple and so didn't get why she was so upset over this.

"No, Edward. Don't." She said before turning around and leaving.

* * *

The rest of the week passed and then another one. Bella wasn't talking to me, no matter how hard I tried to get her to. I hadn't talked to Bree either but it wasn't because I didn't want to, it was more of a lack of opportunity. At least seventy percent of my time was spent going after Bella, and on the little time I had free, I had tried calling her, but it always went right to voicemail, and I hadn't even seen her.

I was standing in front of my mirror, brushing my teeth, all the while thinking how I could get Bella to just talk to me. There was a party tonight, and I knew Bella was going because Rosalie had sort of planned it, so I was going too. As I rinsed my mouth I thought that only I could get a girl to take me back after cheating on her, and blew it in less than twenty-four hours. I stood in front of my closet, thinking of something to wear that made it completely impossible for her to resist me. I spotted the black polo she loved, but then decided against it because she had seen me wearing it the night I was out with Bree. I probably stood in front of the closet for thirty minutes before decency to wear something black, recalling her giving me an explanation of why she loved the polo so much, the color being one of them. The problem was, I don't own much black, and the only others black shirts I had clean were one that was too tight, and maybe even a little bit short and a button down. I decided on the latter, changing onto some wasted jeans, rolling the sleeves up to my elbows, and leaving the first two buttons open.

I drove across town and had to park a couple blocks away but I didn't care, I needed to see Bella but as I walked into the house, my plans suddenly changed. I saw Bree walking up the stairs alone, and decided I'd talk to her before looking up for Bella. I started walking to the stairs but got stopped by some of my friends that insisted I needed a beer and knowledge on their last scores on COD. I was finally able to walk away and headed up to the second floor.

"What the fuck?" I asked, not loud enough to be yelling, but loud enough to let them know I wasn't pleased about what I was seeing. Bree stood between the wall and Felix, their lips pressed together, and their hands all around each other.

They pulled apart and Bree widened her eyes while Felix smirked smugly. For a second I considered this to be my way out, I could end things with Bree without it being my fault, but then Felix's expression just angered me, made my blood boil, my eyes saw red, felt adrenaline pumping through my veins, and everything along those lines.

I rushed to them and pushed Felix against the wall, my hands gripping the collar of his tee. His smile remained, though, and that's when I punched him right on the jaw. Bree stood by the side, probably flattered that two guys seemed to be fighting over her, it wasn't about her though.

"First Bella, and now Bree?" I yelled into his face. "What the fuck is wrong with you! Can't find girls for yourself!" Felix pushed me away and I stumbled backwards.

"You are the one that can't find girls for yourself! Bella was supposed to be mine but you got in the middle! And I've been dating Bree all year until, again, you got in between us!" I turned to Bree, shocked.

"This is your ex?" I asked, pointing at Felix with disgust, as people started running up the stairs, probably having heard the yelling. She bit her lip, nodding. "Fuck, Bree, if I had known I wouldn't have gotten near you with a stick!" And suddenly my back was pressed against the wall, Felix was lifting me by the collar of my shirt and looked into my eyes.

"Well, you've ruined Bella for me, I guess it's only fair." I pushed him away and went in for another punch, because I understood what he meant when he said I had ruined my girl for him. I got his cheek this time, and he blindly hit my nose in retaliation. It hurt, but right then I just wanted to end him. I was about to hit him in the stomach when Emmett pulled me away, lifting me from the floor. The fucking coward tried to use this as a way to get a hit but someone else held him back as we glared at each other. I barely heard Emmett telling someone to call Bella.

"You're fucking sick, Felix! Bella was never yours!" I knew I had hit below the belt but I couldn't care less.

"Just as Bree wasn't yours, fucker!"

"Are you sure?" I smirked, it wasn't true but he didn't know that and based on how his eyes went crazy and how he tried to move away from the guy's hold to come after me, he wasn't sure of it.

"Let me go, goddamit! I'm gonna kill you, Cullen!" He struggled to get out but he couldn't, not that I was afraid. I could easily knock him down. Bella appeared in front of me, and my eyes softened as I took her in, she looked half angry and half worried.

"Baby," I whispered, and she placed her hands on my chest, shaking her head disapprovingly. Emmett let go of me, knowing I had calmed down just by seeing her but then the fucking asshole had to go and open his mouth again.

"She's a fucking tease, Edward! You have no idea how many times sh-" He didn't have a chance to say anything else, other than a long string of curses coming out due to the pain. I had kneed him on the groin and got a hit to his stomach before Emmett took hold of me again or the guy holding Felix moved him out of my reach.

"You don't talk about her like that, you motherfucker!"

"Bella, do something!" Emmett said to her and she rushed to stand in front of me. She took hold of my shirt and had to drag me out of the hallway. She led me into the guest bathroom downstairs and locked the door once we were in.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly and I nodded. "But... There's..." She trailed off and motioned to my face. I turned to face the mirror and saw blood coming down from my nose that was twisted. I reached to touch it and winced immediately, Bella hissed, having seen me do this.

"Baby, turn around." I said, mentally preparing myself as I lifted my hands to my nose.

"What, why?" She asked at the same time I straightened my nose, hissing sharply, doing my damn hardest not to say anything so Bella wouldn't worry but it didn't work. She yelled when she saw the pain in my face and wrapped her arms around me from behind after I had done it.

I didn't respond to her touch, my body completely tense from the fight and the pain in my face. I reached to get a hand towel and put it under the tap, wetting it so I could clean the blood from my face. As I was doing so, I realized she had moved away and was looking down to her feet. I then felt like an asshole because I knew what she was thinking. I left the towel under the running water, so the blood would wash itself away and turned to Bella, trapping her between my body and the wall without touching her and whispered into her ear.

"It wasn't about her. The fight, it wasn't about her, Bella. It was about him... and you... I... I don't really care about Bree anymore." She looked up before I could continue and looked right into my eyes. "Baby, I don't want anyone else if I can have you." Her eyes were watering and I pressed my lips against her forehead, careful with my nose. "I love you."

She rested her head against my chest and I lifted my hand to hold her. After few minutes she lifted her head and looked at my nose. "Can I kiss you, Edward?" I nodded, telling her to just be careful and she pressed her lips against mine and they started a dance they knew by heart. At some point Bella's cheekbone grazed my nose and I hissed. "Sorry! Sorry! So-"

"Shh, shh." I leaned down again to kiss her once more. "Let's get out of here, Baby." She nodded minutely, probably afraid she'd hurt me and I smiled against her mouth. She was just too damn cute. But the most important thing though, was that she was mine.


	33. Chapter 33

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all**

* * *

**In chapter 32: **Edward and Bella get back together on Valentine's Day, but they split briefly again because Edward hadn't broken things off with Bree. There's a party and Edward finds out that Felix is Bree's ex, Edward and Felix fight, Bella and Edward have a little talk and they end the chapter together again.

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 33**

**Well, I know there's a reason **  
**And I know there's a rhyme **  
**We were meant to be together **  
**That's why **  
**We can roll with the punches **  
**We can stroll hand in hand **  
**And when I say it's forever **  
**You understand **

**That you're always in my heart **  
**You're always on my mind **  
**And when it all becomes too much **  
**You're never far behind **  
**And there's no one that comes close to you **  
**Could ever take your place **  
**'Cause only you can love me this way **

**I could've turned a different corner **  
**I could've gone another place **  
**But I'd a-never had this feeling **  
**That I feel today**

**Only You Can Love Me This Way - Keith Urban**

**BPOV**

"How are you feeling?" I asked, looking at his bruised face. We were in English class but the teacher was late so we stayed in the back, he was sitting on his stool, having turned it so it was facing me and I had just slid down from mine.

"Fine." He wrapped his arms around my waist and spread his legs, pulling me to stand between them.

"You sure?" I looked up into his eyes and ducked my face, blushing, when I noticed the intensity of his stare. "What?"

"I kinda like it that you worry about me." He kissed my cheek and I lifted my hands up to his neck.

"How about your nose?"

"It's fine, Carlisle checked it up."

"Oh, okay." I said, relaxed that a doctor had seen him. "What did he say?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "He was pissed but Mom was there so he didn't say anything."

"Oh, and your Mom?"

"She asked who had done it." He shrugged again, and I moved my hands to his shoulders, kneading them.

"You told her?" He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but she didn't believe me." He frowned for a second before turning his stare back to me. "Please tell me you are not friends with him anymore. I don't want this to happen again."

"Nope." I gave him a quick kiss.

"Is the interrogation over, Miss Swan?" He asked teasingly and I nodded, resting my head against his chest. I sighed, feeling the happiest girl alive. If I had known that things would just go back to normal between us, I would have tried this a long while ago. I hadn't forgotten anything but it still felt as if nothing ever happened… If that even made sense –It did to me, anyway. I have to admit that I loved this, being with Edward, and realizing he had really changed.

The rest of the week was absolute bliss. We weren't able to spend every day together, but he called me every night just to wish goodnight and, yeah, I couldn't help it. I was crazy about him. We had wanted our relationship to be out of the radar but after a week of stolen kisses, hugs, winks, holding hands, and such, people was starting to notice. I knew Edward hated this attention, though, so I didn't think anything of him withdrawing when someone looked our way because the whispering and glances were getting on my nerves, too.

I was sitting on the bleachers, a bottle of water in my hand, drying the sweat off my face. It was Friday afternoon and I was on practice. My phone beeped and I pulled it out immediately, knowing it was Edward because we had been making eye contact from across the field.

_**Come here. -E**_

We were on our break so I ran across the field and stopped right in front of him. "Hi," I smiled and he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Hi, gorgeous." I was sweaty, my cheeks red from exhaustion, my head was a mess and somehow I still believed he really meant it when he called me gorgeous. "Can I steal you tonight?" He briefly looked up to check the boys were doing what they were supposed to be doing, before smiling down at me.

"You are kinda hot as a Coach." I smirked when the tips of his ears turned pink.

"Dinner tonight?" He asked hopefully. He had asked every night if we could go out but I was up to my elbows with schoolwork, and so was he, so we hadn't gone out yet.

I bit my lip. "I have plans already." He pouted and I stood on my tiptoes, kissing his cheek. "Tomorrow I'm all yours though."

"I thought you were all mine, everyday."

"I am." I said before kissing him. The swelling of his nose had gone down for the most part so I didn't need to be that careful while kissing him. I was about to deepen the kiss when I heard my last name being yelled.

"Swan! Get your ass down here!" I rolled my eyes as Edward smiled.

"My house. Ten. Tomorrow." He kissed my forehead before moving his arms from around me and I ran all the way to the other side of the field.

I was blushing furiously, while some girls whistled but then I noticed Tanya glaring at me and I smiled sweetly at her. _Take that_.

_He's mine. No matter what you did, he's mine, and will never be yours. Mine. Mine. Mine_. I chanted to myself, and couldn't help but let out a little chuckle.

When the practice was over, I went to Edward again and this time he got the whistling and catcalling, since their practice was over too and they had been goofing around. "Shut up guys!" he then looked down at me, a smile on his face. "See you tomorrow?" I nodded and he pressed a lingering kiss against my forehead. "Okay, take care." I kissed his cheek and headed back to the locker room.

"Hey, I was looking for you." Rose said before she pulled a hood over her head.

"I can shower at your place right?" I asked, knowing she was the most impatient person ever so it'd be better if I skipped the shower here, besides, I usually just went home to shower.

"Sure, let's go." I picked up my bag and followed after her. "You do know the purpose of tonight, right?" She asked once we were in the car. She had asked, more like demanded, that we have a girls night so here we were.

"I think I have an idea." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Okay, great. I don't have to coax the information out of you this way." I chuckled and took my phone from my bag.

_**I wish I had gone out with you. I'm about to be interrogated. -B **_

We parked outside Rose's house and after greeting her mom and exchanging some pleasantries, we went to Rose's room. In an attempt to avoid the interrogation as much as possible, I hurried into the bathroom to take a shower, I also took a long time. When I finally came out, Rosalie was sitting on the middle of her bed, facing the bathroom door.

I sighed, and went to sit at the head of the bed and she turned to face me. "What do you want to know, Rosalie?" As soon as we got this done with, the better.

"So, you and Edward? Again?"

"Yup." I said, avoiding meeting her eyes. Is not that I was embarrassed about being with Edward, but I knew Rosalie would not approve.

"Okay... When, how, why did that happen? Wasn't he with that kid?"

"Well, was... As in past tense." I moved in my seat a little bit, sort of irritated that 'the kid' existed. I know I was being a hypocrite because on my side there had been another guy too, but still, it annoyed me to no end. I wondered if that's how Edward feels about Riley. "Um, when, Valentine's Day-"

"Oh, so romantic." Rosalie said sarcastically and I finally turned to glare at her.

"You know I don't have to tell you, right?"

"Okay, okay. Sorry. Go on." She motioned with her hand for me to continue. "How... I don't really know how to answer that one... It just happened... And why, well, I love him Rosalie, and being without him was doing more harm than good... If there was any good at all."

"But you guys talked and stuff, right? You didn't just jump into a relationship again, did you?" She asked, turning to face me and I was half surprised, half relieved that I saw nothing but concern in her eyes.

"Yeah, of course... We've been talking about things for a while, you know? Like slowly and... Yeah." I shrugged, picking at one of my fingernails.

"So... It's all good, then?"

"Yeah," I smiled and nodded, truly happy. "It's all perfect."

* * *

_**Still wishing you had come with me? -E**_

I smiled, looking down at the screen. The interrogation had ended hours ago, after Rosalie requested a play by play of what happened in Valentine's Day, and now she was ironing her hair and walking around with some shoes she wanted to wear sometime during the weekend. I was lying down on her bed, reading a book while my toenails dried. I didn't necessarily wanted to go away, this was nice, but I did want to see him.

_**Come rescue me? -B **_

I looked up to see Rosalie with the iron stopped almost at the end, looking at me with a weird expression.

"You are going to burn your hair, Rose." She looked as if she had come out of a trance and pulled away the iron, I rolled my eyes as I took my phone in my hands, as it had just beeped.

_**You're with Rosalie or Alice? -E**_

_**Rose. -B**_

_**See you soon, then. -E**_

I smiled again and sighed happily, wondering what he was planning to come 'rescue me'.

Fifteen minutes later, Rosalie's phone started ringing and not even two minutes after that she declared we were going to the diner.

As Rosalie parked her car, I noticed Edward and Emmett sitting by the window, and as I got out of the car Edward made eye contact with me, smiling. I blushed and looked down as we started walking to the door.

It was unbelievable how he made me feel. I mean, during the two years we were together it never ceased. But now it was different, and yet it was the same. Different because during the past months I hadn't had these feelings of being nervous around him, or wanting to look pretty for him or just being completely nuts about him. At the same time, it was the same as before, which honestly scared me because for things to get so askew as they did, something must have been wrong before. I shook my head, getting rid of these thoughts and smiled again when I noticed he had walked outside, meeting us halfway. I giggled as he wrapped his arms around me so tight that my feet left the ground.

"Ugh, you're disgusting." Rosalie said, she had moved from beside me to stand behind Edward so from above Edward's shoulder I could see the smile and the thumbs-up she gave me.

"Always a pleasure to see you, Hale." He said, brushing her off as she kept walking into the diner. He put me back on my feet and smiled toothily at me. "I rescued you."

"You did." My cheeks felt as if they'd just have to split to give space to my growing smile.

"My damsel in distress." He smirked, leaning down to kiss me.

"My hero." I whispered against his lips and a part of me wanted to tape this moment so I could always remember how truly happy Edward Cullen made me, while another part wanted to have this taped so I could just make fun of us, how cheesy we were.

"Let's go inside." He took my hand in his and guided us to the door and once inside, to our booth. I slid in first, noticing that on the side Edward had been sitting there were three plates, one with a half-eaten hamburger, another with fries, and the last one had a sandwich on it, the kind I ate.

"You ordered for me?" I asked, looking at Edward as he slid in beside me.

"Yeah, hope you don't mind." He said slowly, suddenly looking unsure. "I even ordered the white cheese, you know, instead of the yellow one... that you don't like..."

"See?" Rosalie stopped Edward's ramblings, "You could learn some things from him. He went to greet her, and was considerate enough to order for her." She said to Emmett and, yeah, it just became awkward.

"Rosie," Emmett started speaking but she waved him off, turning to the counter and waving a waitress in. Emmett shot a glare to Edward, that mouthed a sorry in response as Rose ordered.

"Thanks, Honey." I whispered, nudging him, so he knew I was talking, he winked at me and put his arm around my shoulders before returning to his food. We all ate in silence, awkwardness still floating above us, and sooner than I wanted it to be, we were all done and Rosalie was asking me if I was still going to stay over at her house. I turned to look at Edward briefly, but he wasn't looking at me, his eyes were on his wallet as he pulled out some bills to pay for our food. I then turned to Emmett, and he looked at me weirdly but then I understood what he meant when he mouthed for me to stall her.

"Why don't we just go for a walk?" I said, shooting Rose a look that it wasn't really an option. Yeah, I can be bossy too... Sometimes.

"Sure, whatever." She said, taking her purse and standing up. Emmett followed after her, throwing some bills on the table on his way out.

"Okay." Edward sighed. "That was awkward." He stood up and stretched his hand for me to take. When we got outside, Em and Rose were nowhere to be seen so we started walking down the sidewalk.

We remained silent until I asked him to give me his hoodie because I was freezing. As I pulled it on, I wondered what he had done with all the ones I had given back... With all the things I had given back. I didn't ask, though, because I realized I shouldn't have done that. Return everything just like that; at the time it seemed like the only way to go, but now it seemed to me it was really childish.

I tugged on his hand to stop him, and he turned to face me with an inquisitive look as I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "Hey, is everything alright?" He whispered, wrapping his arms around me. I nodded, because everything was alright... more than alright, but I suddenly felt overwhelmed. I loved him, I knew I loved him, and yet I had let things happen the way they did. I'm not talking about him and Tanya, because I had no control over it, I mean after that, the role I played during our break-up. I could have handled things differently, and saved us both a lot of heartache.

I should have listened to him.

I shouldn't have dated Riley.

I shouldn't have led him on during Christmas break.

I shouldn't have been upset over him and Bree.

... There were just so many things I should have done, and just as much things I shouldn't have done, and they all hit me right now. I don't know what it was that triggered this, but I couldn't have stopped this if I had tried.

"Edward, I'm sorry." I muttered against his skin and I felt one of his hands slid up to the back of my head before he pulled away to look me in the eyes.

"Why are you sorry?" He was frowning, and the brightness in his eyes was marred with a hint of fear.

I sighed, closing my eyes. "I did so many things wro-" Before I could finish, I felt him rest his forehead against mine.

"Open your eyes, Baby. Look at me." I opened my eyes and met his, that were shining with determination. "I am sorry, too, but we are starting again, okay? No need to dwell on the past, Beautiful. Let's focus on our future."

"Together?" I wondered out loud, and he smiled. That smile I knew was mine, the one where both sides of his mouth curled up in such a way that made me smile back. Always.

"Of course, together."

* * *

I entered the kitchen yawning and scratching my head. I had woken up way too early but was hungry so decided to come downstairs and join my parents, people from whom I hadn't inherited the 'morning-person' gene.

I mumbled a good morning as I went to the cabinets to get my cereal. I heard Dad clearing his throat from the table. "What?" I asked, not turning to look at him, he just cleared his throat again. "Okay, okay." I said, turning around and walking to the table, to kiss the top of his head. "Good morning, Daddy." I knew that was not the reason why he was clearing his throat but being nice to him couldn't hurt, especially if I had done something wrong.

"What are you wearing Isabella?" I looked down at myself. Oh, I got it now. I was wearing Edward's hoodie he had given me last night with some shorts that weren't visible with how long the hoodie was on me.

"I'm wearing shorts, Dad." I said, sitting down. He didn't say anything else so I looked up to see if the subject was dropped, but found him and mom staring at each other, obviously having a silent conversation with the way they were tilting their heads and how their facial expressions changed. I shrugged it off, it was useless to try to decipher that conversation, they have had over twenty years to make it flawless, there was just no way I would understand, besides, if something was wrong they would tell me.

They didn't need to, though. As I walked into my bathroom to get ready for my day I walked by the mirror and caught what the problem was, it was sewn across the back of the hoodie.

_**Cullen.**_

_**14**_

* * *

"Hi," I smiled after he had opened the door. "Missed you." I said, standing up on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek, when he didn't respond I stepped away.

"Yeah, listen. Jas-" He cringed when another voice joined ours in the foyer.

"Yo, Bella! What's up?" He had a can of coke on his hand as he approached us. "Oh, wait!" A smirk appeared on his face, realization dawning on him as he turned to Edward. "Eddie?" Edward sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "What's going on Eddie?" It isn't as if we were hiding from the rest of the world, but we weren't being too forthcoming either, thing I honestly believed to be great since that way, less people would meddle. But it was kind of obvious, only that Jasper was pretty self-centered.

"We are together, okay?" Edward said irritated, taking my hand in his and dragging me to the kitchen. "I'm sorry, Baby!" He said once we were out of earshot, turning around so he was facing me. "I didn't tell him to come, he ju-" I cut him off by kissing him and he smiled, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Doesn't matter." I mumbled against his lips. "I'll just call Alice, she'll take him."

"Hmm, I like the way you are thinking, Miss Swan."

"Is that the only thing you like about me, Mr. Cullen?" I pretended to be offended and took a step away from him, bringing my hand up to clutch my chest.

"I like everything about you." He put his arms around me and lifted me onto the counter. "I love every single thing about you." He whispered into my ear as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Awww, look at that. Two little lovebirds." Jasper said from the kitchen door, wiping an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye.

"Shut up, Jasper!" I said between little laughs and Edward tightened his arms around me.

"Call Alice." He whispered into my ear. "Now!"

* * *

Okay, it completely backfired on us.

Alice came as soon as I texted her, problem was, she didn't leave.

We were all sitting on the playroom, watching a movie. Jasper and Alice were sitting on the love-seat while Edward and I were sharing a recliner.

I smiled when he groaned into the crook of my neck. "Relax, Honey." I said, squeezing his tigh gently.

"I wanted to hang out with you." He scoffed, lifting his head. "I don't even like her!" He said barely above a whisper, pouting. I couldn't resist, I leaned over and pressed my lips against his puckered ones. That seemed to calm him down again and I mentally high-fived myself. He bumped his nose with mine after he had pulled apart before turning to Jasper. "Dude, didn't you have that match today?" I would have laughed at Edward's eagerness, but I totally understood, we haven't been able to be alone since the day we got together.

"Um, right." He said slowly, pulling out his phone. "Fuck. I'm late!" He stood up hurriedly, kissing Alice on his way out.

And again, it backfired on us.

Alice shrugged and turned her attention back to the TV, I had to bit my lip not to laugh at Edward, that was holding my hand so tight as if to show his frustration. "I'm gonna get some popcorn." Edward said, resigned that we were not going to be left alone, as he awkwardly stood up in an attempt to not make me move from our seat.

I shifted on the seat, trying to get comfortable again and noticed Alice looking at me. "What?" I asked slowly, wondering what she wanted.

"So," She dragged the word for few seconds until I raised my eyebrow, urging her to continue. "Listen, I really don't want to make you feel weird or anything but we haven't really had the chance to talk... And, well, I guess I wanna know what happened with my brother."

"Al-"

"No, no! It's all cool, I swear. I am not trying you to get back with hi... I just want to know... As your friend, not as his sister."

So I told her. I told her how long it took me to be able to walk into the library. When she asked why, I told her about Edward and I sleeping together during Christmas break. I told her how I thought the library looked pretty cool, and how the lady behind the counter gave me a weird look when I described Riley. I told her how long it took me to find the French Literature section he was supposed to be in, and how I almost ran out of there when I finally found him but stopped myself when I saw he was not alone. I told her how I recognized the girl from a picture I had seen in her house. I told her how I apologized to the girl before slapping Riley and how he followed me. I told her about the way he told me he really liked me, but that he loved her. I told her how I felt as if I was Tanya but how quickly the thought left only to be replaced by anger. I told her how he tried to talk me into sharing and how I laughed and kneed his groin before leaving. And finally I told her how it all reminded me of Edward, so I called him, and how we fought by the side of the road and...

"That's when I realized I can't be without him, Alice."

"Are you sure, Bella? Just because someone else did the same to you, it doesn't mean it's okay."

I frowned. "I know it's not okay but I want to be with Edward, Alice." She looked as if she was going to say something else but I spoke first. "It's already done, don't try to talk me out of it. It's already done, I love him, and I'm not taking it back."

She sighed and stood up. "I'm not going to talk you out of it but... How can you be so sure he's changed? People don't change."

"Alice-"

"Come on, let's go downstairs." I stood up, eyeing her warily. "Cullen must be done with the popcorn." She walked out and I followed after her. Edward was sitting on the couch in the living room, changing channels every couple seconds.

Alice said goodbye as I walked in front of Edward, he just waved at her, not even turning to her. "Finally." Edward smiled as he pulled me onto his lap. "I heard you guys talking, so I stayed here."

"Thanks." I wrapped my arms around his neck and curled my body against his.

"So," He chuckled as he looked down at his wrist. "You've been here since ten o' clock, it's almost six and we haven't been alone one minute." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.

"And I have to be home by seven." I mumbled and he groaned.

"Why so early?"

"I promised my parents I'd have dinner with them."

"I want to take you out on a date." I smiled, feeling all warm inside.

"Next week?" I offered, knowing that he was going to Seattle the next day to visit his grandparents.

"Saturday?" He asked, looking at me.

"Perfect."

* * *

**Hey! **

**First of all... I am so, so, so sorry for taking so long to post... I went out of the country and couldn't post. I didn't let you know in the last chapter because I thought I'd be able to post this one before leaving. **

**Something else... I'm really sorry about how reacted to the mean reviews, I was upset and I do realize it was unfair to those of you that like the story... so, I'm giving you the chance to choose whether you want me to just wrap up the story or for me to continue it. Okay, there is going to be a poll on my profile with the options for the ending. Please check that out, it really depends on you. **

**Once again, I'm sorry for taking so long, please don't think I'm going to just leave the story because that is not going to happen.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs. **


	34. Chapter 34

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all **

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 34**

**I know you feel it 'cos I feel it too,**  
**I close my eyes and I'm right back with you,**  
**Don't have to say it,**  
**It's the game we play,**  
**You stitch me up and it's a shame, shame, shame.**  
**And I'd say, when you say, there's no way,**  
**It's such a shame, shame, shame,**  
**And I'd say, with no pain, there's no gain,**  
**And it's a shame, shame, shame.**

**Stitch**** me up - Julian Perretta**

**EPOV**

Perfect.

Life was fucking perfect.

Really, not even the day I got my bike I had been as happy as I am now. Hell, just yesterday I caught myself whistling as I jogged down the stairs. It was just impossible to describe, the way I felt... Just overwhelming. In a fucking perfect way.

I smiled as I saw myself in the mirror, I looked happy, which only made me feel happier.

_God, I am not even ashamed to say that I feel fucking giddy._

"Good morning, Mother." I said teasingly as I entered the kitchen. She turned to look at me questioningly and I kissed her forehead, she dropped the spatula she had been holding onto the counter and crossed her arms over her chest, adopting her mom stance.

"Okay, what did you do, Edward?" She said raising an eyebrow at me and I shook my head as I opened the fridge.

"I did nothing, Mom." I chuckled and sat down to eat.

"You are not lying." She said curiously, her eyes still focused on me.

"Nope." I took a bite from my toast. "Not lying."

"Esme, what's wrong?" Dad asked as he walked into the room, he stood next to my mom, who was still watching me warily. "Edward, what did you do?" He asked after a minute or so had passed.

"God, I did nothing." I groaned and ran a hand through my hair. Amazing how they were ruining my mood.

"Hmm, okay then, I have to go to the hospital." Dad said, grabbing his briefcase before he whispered something to Mom, who nodded in response. "Behave, Edward." He said tersely as he passed by me on his way out. I scowled until my phone beeped in my pocket, and then smiled when I saw Bella's name on the screen.

**I miss you. Can't wait to see you. -B **

**Miss you more. I'll be at school, meet me there if you want to. -E **

I leaned against the backrest, sipping on my juice as I waited for her to reply.

**School, on Saturday? Have you gone crazy? -B**

I smiled and Mom cleared her throat, but I didn't turn to her.

**Football practice, Baby. I am crazy, but just about you. -E **

My smile only grew, imagining her blushing as she read, and rolling her eyes.

**Gosh, you are so cheesy. -B **

**Guilty. So, will you go? -E **

**Will I have time to get ready for later? - B **

Mom cleared her throat again, louder.

**Yeah, we are not staying the entire day. -E**

**I'll see you soon then :) -B**

God, I loved the fucking smiley face at the end, and I didn't even know why. I chuckled as I pocketed my phone, before turning to my food again.

"Edward! I'm-" She cleared her throat dramatically and I rolled my eyes. "- to you!"

"Okay, Mom," I chuckled lightly before slowly asking. "What is it?"

"You tell me!" She actually stomped her feet. I stood up with my empty plate and left it in the sink.

"Okay, Mom, I'll tell you but it's a secret." I whispered, bending my knees so I was looking right into her eyes and gripping her shoulders.

"Okay," She whispered back, almost vibrating with anticipation of knowing my 'secret'.

"Bella and I got back together." I have to admit that I wasn't surprised that she squealed and threw her arms around me.

"Seriously?" She asked after she had stopped squealing and her arms weren't around me anymore.

"Yup." I nodded, smiling.

"Oh, Edward." She smiled warmly. "That's so gre-" Her expression changed suddenly, as if she remembered something, the happiness she had felt for me just few seconds ago was replaced with something completely different; she didn't even finish her sentence, just turning to the table to retrieve some dishes.

"Mom?" I asked, wondering what I had done wrong.

"Yes, Edward?" She avoided looking at me.

"Uh, is there something wrong?"

"No." She smiled at me before heading out of the kitchen. I just shrugged and headed to the car.

* * *

I ran across the field, nearly tripping once since I didn't have the necessary shoes but before I could score Emmett tackled me.

"Oh, God," I groaned, rolling onto my back after Emmett stood up. That was the third time I got tackled, the guys were taking advantage of the fact that I was out of practice.

"Man, are you okay?" Emmett asked only half serious and I flipped him off, still on the ground.

"Fuck off." Female laughter was heard somewhere around me and all the guys turned to the voices.

"Oh, the girls are here." Emmett said smiling, dropping the ball onto my stomach as he started walking to the girls. "Hey, Bells." I heard him say as he walked off.

"Hi, Baby." I half groaned as I tried to at least sit up.

"Edward," She started to say as she kneeled in front of me. "What the hell happened to you?"

I pouted teasingly. "They are being mean to me, Baby." I whined. Thanks God the rest of the guys were by the bleachers with the other girls.

She chuckled softly. "What would make you feel better, Honey?" She asked, playing along.

"Hmmm, dunno, a kiss?" I smiled at her and she leaned over to give me a chaste kiss.

"All better?" I shook my head with my eyes closed.

"Another one?" I heard her chuckle briefly as she moved her hand to the back of my head, pulling me closer until our lips were touching again. We kissed for few minutes before heading to where my friends were fawning over hers.

I stood behind her and enveloped her in my arms, whispering that I was the luckiest guy ever into her ear, before kissing her cheek. I didn't even care when Alice insisted she take a picture of us, I was in fucking heaven. We stayed by the bleachers until the sprinklers went off, and then I walked Bella to her car before she went home.

"Love you." I mumbled quickly against her lips. She tugged on my hair, pulling me closer as I pressed her against the car with my hips. We probably shouldn't have been kissing like that in the parking lot but she didn't seem to mind, and I certainly didn't mind people knowing she was MY girl again.

"We're still on for tonight, Honey?" She buried her face in my neck, leaving soft kisses where she could reach.

"Absolutely." I whispered before sliding my hand beneath her shirt, caressing her lower back. "I'll pick you up in, like, an hour?" She slid her hand down my chest and I shuddered, feeling the coldness of her fingers on my skin when she reached the hem of my shirt.

But then one of her friends turned on the engine, scaring us to death.

She chuckled against my neck and I pressed a kiss against her temple. "See you soon, then." She said as she was stepping away from my arms. I waved to the rest of the girls in her car and turned to my car.

* * *

This is ridiculous, really.

I was standing on Bella's doorstep, not being able to just knock the fucking door. Not even when it had been our first date had I been like this. I was worried that the Chief would open the door... And shoot me. I wouldn't doubt he was willing to do it, I mean, I would have shot myself if I was in his shoes. I would have just called Bella and told her to come out put but it didn't seem too gentlemanly, so I was stuck with this life-threatening situation.

"Okay, Cullen, this is it." I said to myself, lifting my fist to the door, right before my hand touched the door, it flew open and I moved back my hand as fast as I could.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Bella asked smiling as she stepped outside, closing the door behind her. "You've been out here for like ten minutes." She said as she shrugged on her coat. "Hi." She kissed my cheek and only then I reacted.

"Hi." I whispered, wrapping my arms around her and squeezing her quickly. "I was just..." I trailed off while I pulled her hair out of her coat. "Dunno, nervous I guess."

"Are you serious?" She asked, chuckling. I didn't say anything and she turned serious, grabbing my chin in one of her hands. "Hey, it's just me, you know?"

"Yeah, and you're just my everything." She smiled softly and gave me that look I was so used to before we broke up. Her eyes huge and all bright and soft and the brown in them so deep.

"Come on, let's go." She grabbed my hand and led me to the car. "So, where are we going? Because I sort of dressed pretty casual." She said once inside the car, motioning to her wasted jeans and chucks.

"Nah, you're perfect, Baby." I said, running a hand through my hair. "We are... So, listen," I tapped my fingers against the wheel. "It's kinda lame, but I thought it'd be kinda sweet, too..." I shrugged, briefly turning to look at her.

"Okay?" She sighed and leaned closer to me, taking hold of my hand. "I don't mind, whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be perfect. I am just glad I am here with you." I turned to look at her to see how honest she was being and smiled when I saw her doing the same thing.

"I am glad, too." I said honestly and she smiled before leaning back to her side of the car. For the rest of the ride we talked about whatever came up, whether it was to something that had happened during the week or some new song we had listened to. When I slowed down and turned to the side of the road, into some old gates, I turned to look at her to see her reaction and was pleased when she smiled, meaning that she remembered.

Someone thought it'd be a cool idea to open a drive-in theater, and only show old movies. I had to admit, it was sort of cool and there were a lot of people that agreed with me.

"So," I said in a low voice as I put the car on idle. "I thought it'd be kinda nice, you know?"

"Like, in a second first date sort of way?" She asked, smiling brightly at me and I mentally congratulated myself.

"Yeah." I smiled too. The first time I asked her out I told her we were going to watch a movie, she didn't know though, that I was talking about this kind of movies. I remembered her being all giddy and excited because she had only seen this kind of place in movies. When I parked behind some other car I took the flyer a man at the entrance gave me and turned on the radio, setting it to the dial they gave me to hear the audio of the movie. It was a strange feeling to know the screen was out there but hearing the voices from inside the car.

It was one of those nineties movies in which now 'A-List' actors were still awkward and teenager-ish. As soon as the movie started, Bella recognized it and with a smile declared she loved the movie. I was a guy, after all, and sort of hoped that with the darkness and the sort of privacy we had inside my car that we would at least make out some, but I wasn't really surprised that I was actually okay with letting Bella just watch her movie.

Before the movie started, we hadn't bought anything to eat because Bella was afraid of being alone in the car, even thought she denied it, so we waited until the main characters kissed in the middle of a baseball match and everyone swooned over them, before going to the little store on the right side of the screen.

We were standing in line, I had pulled out my phone to check the hour when Bella shifted from beside me to being in front of me, wrapping her arms around my middle. I simply kissed her temple and slid my hand around her, holding her closer. Jasper had texted me, and I was still trying to decipher what he was trying to tell me when I felt Bella's lips on my neck. At first I didn't really respond to her kisses, but then she slid a hand below my shirt in an attempt to pull me impossibly closer and started nibbling me.

I pocketed my phone, not really caring for what Jasper had to say anymore, before leaning over and pressing our lips together, she responded by immediately slipping her tongue into my mouth. I was surprised, to say the least. Before, she was never the one to initiate this kind of activities, most of the time it was me reaching out for her, but what surprised me the most was that we were in public, and she had never liked any form of PDA.

I was surprised, but I surely wasn't complaining.

I had to stop it, though, when the kiss got too heated and I couldn't really slow it down. "What was that for?" I asked, smirking at how dazed she seemed to be.

"Do I need a reason?" She raised her eyebrow, looking into my eyes and I was positively shocked to see her eyes darker with a kind of need I wasn't used to see or feel in Bella.

"Fuck, no! Do that whenever you want." She laughed, stepping closer to me again but this time she simply remained under my arm, with her head on my chest and playing with the strings of my hoodie.

When we had our food, we walked back to the car but instead of getting in, we stood by the front of it. I leaned against it and Bella stood in front of me.

I was eating my hot-dog, watching her as she ate her ice-cream. When she noticed me staring she asked "Want some?" She extended her hand holding her cone.

"Yeah," I said smirking. "I most definitely do." She looked confused by my answer and I loved how she didn't even notice the double entendre of what she said. She shrugged and let me taste her ice-cream, when she pulled her hand away I took a hold of her chin and gave her a brief kiss before we both continued eating. When she finished, she took the little cartoon thingy in which they placed the hot-dog and set it beside me on the car before stepping between my legs and staring up at me.

I looked right back into her eyes, our foreheads pressed together. Her eyes were no longer dark with need but still, her eyes were just so beautiful and deep that I couldn't look away. She slid her arms around my neck, her elbows over my shoulders, so she was able to play with my hair. "Your hair is long." She stated simply, smiling, while she let her fingers ran across it.

"Yours, too." I said smiling before giving a strand of her hair a gentle tug. She threw her head back in laughter and I wondered how that was even so funny, but didn't really care at the same time. When she sobered up, she looked back at me, her head slightly tilted to the side, appraising me.

"You are something else, Edward Cullen." She finally said and I remembered having listened to that already.

"Yeah?" I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Is that a good or a bad thing?"

"Good, definitely good."

* * *

I was about to remove the key from the ignition so I could walk her to her door but she stopped me. "You don't have to walk me to the door, Edward." She said with a weird voice, I turned to look at her and she continued talking. "I mean, it's not actually our first date." She laughed awkwardly and I turned to see past her, to the house trying to come up with a reason she didn't want me to get out of the car.

"I'm not doing it to impress you; I'm doing it because I always do." I said half-heatedly, focusing on the house for a minute more before it dawned on me and turned on the engine again. "But fine, I won't."

"Okay," It sounded like a question and I realized I wasn't doing a good job at hiding my annoyance and frustration. "I'll see you...?" She trailed off, wondering if we were going to hang out the following day.

"Yeah, I'll see you at school." I didn't turn to see her and ran a hand down my face instead.

"Oh, okay." She sounded disappointed but, even if I felt kind of guilty, it wasn't enough to do something about it. She opened her door but didn't go out right away. "So... Thanks?" Again, a question and I wondered how it was even possible that she didn't know what was bothering me. I hummed in response, my hand still over the side of my face. It was something I did when I was upset, just like my dad pinched the bridge of his nose. "Goodnight, then." She said softly, leaning over to kiss my cheek before walking out.

As I waited for her to go inside I looked at the house again. Most of the lights were off. The window on the right side of the house on the first floor was the one for the living room, the one on the left was the one for the Chief's office, and that was the light that was on.

I had been on that office few times on the recent years, every time the Chief saved me from getting arrested, but when I was a kid and still adorable to adults, I had played in that room enough times to know that the lights had some sort of sensor so that they were only on when someone was in the room, and that from the big black leather chair you had a perfect view of the front porch.

As soon as Bella opened the front door I sped away, my tires screeching behind me.

* * *

The hour on the microwave was blinking at me, claiming it was almost three in the morning. I was hungry, though, that hot-dog didn't really do a good job at keeping me hungry-less. Besides, I couldn't sleep.

As soon as I got home I went to my room and plopped down on my bed, trying to just sleep off my mood but that didn't happen. I tossed endlessly for about an hour before turning on the TV, and when that didn't work I just went down to eat.

It was my fault, really. So it shouldn't have bothered me as it did, but I couldn't help myself. I had to live with the consequences of what I did to Bella, and her not wanting her dad to see us together was one of them. I knew her dad never really liked me, but I used to be okay with that because I didn't really care about it but now I did, which was just stupid since not only I was still just some 'punk', as he used to call me, but now he also had the fact I had cheated in his daughter over me.

I looked around the dark kitchen, trying to find something to eat when I realized there was something in the microwave and went to look at it. Lasagna. Ew. Not middle-of-the-night kind of food. I searched the cabinets and decided I'd steal some of Dad's cereals. He was probably the only doctor in his forties to eat Trix.

As I poured milk into my bowl, I thought that maybe I should just be grateful the Chief hadn't shot me yet, but it wasn't enough. I remembered when I went out with Bree and thought that I was done with parents that didn't like me. Well, it was truer than I thought apparently. Even if I hadn't really cared much for Bella's father disliking me, it was uncomfortable most of the times.

"Rough night?" Mom stopped my line of thoughts as she entered the kitchen, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"Hey, what are you doing up?" I looked behind me to the clock, fifteen minutes before 4 a.m. "It's late."

"Huh," She sat beside me on the circled table and reached for the box I had left in front of me, digging her hand into it and pulling out a handful. "I heard you coming in." She explained and I realized this was more like the hour I'd usually come home on a weekend.

We remained in silence for few minutes before remembering something. "So, Mom, I kinda want to ask you something." I said, frowning at the colored milk in my bowl.

"Sure," She grabbed another handful of Trix, and I smiled, thinking how Dad wouldn't have much for breakfast in the morning.

"When I told you about Bella... and me... You acted kinda weird."

She nodded. "I know." She sighed, before looking at me directly. "Is just that... Edward, I know what happened between you two, and in the last eight years I've known her, especially after you got together, I've grown to love her as if she was my own. I guess I am afraid you'll hurt her again."

I felt my neck tense up even more, my fingers gripping tightly the spoon I was holding, and my eyes burning as I looked down to my white-knuckled hand. Wow, Mom. Thanks."

"Listen, Edward. I am happy for you, I really am... But at the same time, if I didn't know you, well, you are the kind of boy that makes girls like Bella cry."

"Whatever." I stood up hastily and threw my bowl on the sink, before heading up to my room.

Great. Now, not only I had her parents against me, but also my own.

* * *

On Monday morning I scanned the parking lot, looking for Bella after I had spotted her car parked. When I didn't see her out, I figured she must have been by her locker and I wasn't wrong. I walked slowly to her and wordlessly helped her open the locker that was stuck.

"Thanks." She didn't look at me and I knew I deserved it for being an asshole on Saturday night and then on Sunday when she called. As she ignored me, I looked at her, noticing there was something different about her. She was wearing a white sleeveless shirt tucked into a pair of dark jeans held by a leather belt. I then realized that it was her hair that looked different, it was straighter than usual. When she had grabbed the book she was looking for, she closed her locker and turned to me. I didn't meet her eyes, grabbing the name tags she was wearing. They weren't really name tags, like the ones soldiers use at wars or something, hers were this delicate accessory simply meant to look cool.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, lifting my gaze without moving my head from its position. "You know, for acting like a jerk and all." I continued when she didn't say anything.

"Why were you acting like a jerk?" She sighed and took the name tags into her hand so I couldn't keep playing with them.

I hooked a finger around her belt and pulled her closer. "I realized why you didn't want me to get out of the car." I explained softly, looking at her for just a second. "It kind of hurt." She sighed and stepped closer to me, her hands flattening against my stomach.

"Edward," She began to speak but I cut her off, suddenly scared of what she had to say.

"And my mom knows, you know? That we are together, I mean." I looked at her again but this time I didn't look away.

"Yeah?" I nodded.

"I told her. She thinks you shouldn't be with me because I am supposedly the type of guy that makes girls like you cry."

"Well, you are." She said simply with a straight face. I have to admit I was looking for her to tell me it wasn't like that. "But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Like, I am so happy I just cry, or I am laughing so hard tears just start coming out..." I looked at her incredulously and she sighed, sliding her arm around my back, her cheek against mine. "I know you are kind of scared, Edward. I can notice it in some of the things you do. You told me that you didn't believe you were the guy for me, or that we could actually move past everything that has happened but Edward, I do believe we can. And you are the guy for me, just because you stop to think of what I deserve, that makes you perfect."

"I am not perfect." I whispered, hugging her back.

"You are, for me." She moved so she was looking into my eyes again. "And I haven't told my dad yet, that's why I didn't want you to walk me to the door. It's not like I'm ashamed or something, is just that I didn't want him finding up like that. He knows I had a hard time without you so I have to prepare the field, you know?" She smiled a little and I nodded understanding but still not feeling completely back to normal.

"I love you." I muttered, just feeling like I should remind her.

She sighed. "Remember when you used to tell me that should think stuff too much? Well, that applies to you, too, mister." She tapped my nose lightly. "If you do, everything will start to seem wrong and, Edward, we, this-," She waved between us, her hand brushing against my chest. "-us being together, is as right as things can get, Honey." She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me, I returned the kiss desperately, still not feeling completely convinced. She was right; I did believe that maybe all this was too much, more than what I could handle and having my mom said she was worried that Bella would end up hurt just further messed with my head.

* * *

When lunch came I was mostly back to normal, but still not there and Bella noticed it. At some point she stood up and walked out of my sight, I worried a bit but then she came back holding a vanilla sundae. She hand it to me with a smile and surprised me by sitting on my lap instead of beside me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and resumed her conversation with Angela, taking little spoonfuls of ice-cream when I offered it to her. I was aware that the guys were talking and that they believed I was talking with them but in reality I was just staring at Bella.

I loved how her eyes crinkled when she found something funny but not enough to laugh, or how she'd cover her eyes and duck her face every time she did laugh, the way she would just lean over every now and then to kiss some part of my face.

"Hey," I whispered, squeezing her a little tighter. "You are beautiful." I said when she turned to see me. She blushed and kissed me on the lips briefly.

I noticed Alice was quiet and glaring at me, I raised my eyebrow and she scoffed looking away. I noticed her eyes were puffy and there were dark bags under her eyes. I made a mental note to tell Bella to talk to her since she seemed to be upset about something.

Our English teacher didn't show up, but instead of everyone leaving the classroom after the ten minutes we had to wait before we could leave. Someone hooked an iPod to the speakers in the class and we had an innocent mini party. No buzz, no grinding, no making out. It was actually nice. Bella could sense that I was still a bit moody so she stood in front of me and started dancing, trying to get me to dance with her but I shook my head and settled for grabbing her hand and spinning her around every now and then. When the bell rang she slid her hand up my arm, stopping when it reached my shoulder. She gave me a deep kiss quickly before her lips hovered over my ear.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes." I said automatically, so as not to worry her but then realized I meant it.

* * *

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs**


	35. Chapter 35

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all :)**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 35**

**Still I bleed  
Still I wait to heal  
A wound for my crime  
What I need  
Are more bandages  
They've torn over time**

**I could be who you wanted  
Somewhere down the road  
When I'm whole  
When the rains are done  
When I've reaped all I've sown  
But here and now  
On my hands and knees  
I crawl through the mire  
And your bed is so soft and warm  
I'm weary and tired**

**Joshua Radin – Free Of Me**

**BPOV**

At the end of the day, Edward was feeling better. I had to admit that I was worried about him, how he perceived our relationship as if it was made out of the most fragile glass ever. I wanted us to be strong and I needed him to believe more in us, to be certain that I was not letting him go and that I would fight for him if I had to.

"Let's go to my house." Edward whispered, his mouth against my cheek. We were pretty much the only ones left at school, only some other cheerleaders that were still in the locker room and few more people leaving their extracurricular activities. "We could not watch a movie." With his hand that was on my jaw, he tilted my head to the side so his lips could trail down my neck. "Mom is in Seattle and Dad is at the hospital." His other hand came to my waist and he pushed me against the car. My eyes popped open at his words.

Before, I wouldn't have minded spending time with Edward alone, in fact it was a current occurrence since we were always at each other's house, but now a part of me freaked out, while the other craved to be alone with him.

I didn't exactly know what he meant by 'not watching a movie' but by the way his lips were wetting as much bare skin he could find and his hands were subtly wandering, it wasn't hard to figure out what he meant by it. A part of me wanted to tell him yes, but another part of me was panicking because, if he meant he wanted us to have sex, I wasn't sure I was ready to go there again.

I shouldn't have felt relieved when I saw Alice coming out of the main building, wiping her eyes against her forearms, but it gave me an out, so I did.

"Edward..." I said, pushing him away. When he looked at me, he seemed to be hurt that I had pushed him away so I promptly explained. "Alice just walked by, she was crying. I need to go check on her."

"Should I wait for you?" I had to give him some credit, he didn't even frowned as he stepped away.

"No, I'll go with her." I said quickly, sidestepping him. He nodded, and I felt bad for feeling relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with the 'not watching movies' thing today.

"'Kay, see you tomorrow." He said as he handed me my bag.

"Text me later, okay?" I kissed his cheek, trying not to make him feel as if I was just brushing him off. He nodded and turned to his car before I turned around and jogged to the other side of the parking lot, where I knew Alice parked her car in fear of someone scratching it.

I found her sitting on her seat, tears running down her cheeks, her hands fisted on the steering wheel. I silently opened the passenger door and slid into the car, wrapping my arms around her shoulders as she started sniffing and then sobbing. Sometime later, she asked me to drive her home so we switched seats and I drove to her house as she curled herself into a ball, looking out the window.

"Do you want to talk about it or do you want me to leave you alone?" I asked when I had parked in front of her house.

"No, no," She sniffed. "Please stay with me?" She asked, looking up at me with her eyes pooled with unshed tears.

"Of course, Alice."

It wasn't easy to get the information out of her, she was pretty shaken up, but when she did tell me what had happened my eyes turned into slits and I wanted to call Edward just to yell at him for being so inconsiderate, selfish and just a jerk.

"A bet, Bella!" Alice said with wide eyes. "A bet!" She yelled this time before collapsing again, hugging a pillow to her chest. I rubbed her back, still not believing that Edward had been part of something so low.

_Really? The guy cheated on you, why does this surprises you?_

I shook my head and kicked any thoughts of Edward out of my head and focused on Jasper and Alice's situation. Jasper had seemed to really like Alice, love her even. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he had valued Alice at fifty dollars. I wanted to hunt him down and rip his head off, he was such an asshole. By the time I had to leave, she had barely been able to tell me how she had found out; Someone had told her that their first date had been paid by Edward, she had gotten pissed because of it and then Jasper had just ended up having to explain.

All of this had supposedly happened on Saturday, but today Jasper had tried to talk to Alice as she was getting out of the Yearbook classroom, which was why she was so upset when I saw her in the parking lot.

I had trouble falling asleep that night, not only thinking about how hurt Alice was but also about Edward's role in all this. Jasper had always acted like a jerk with girls but, despite what he did to me, I never thought that Edward could do something as selfish as playing with someone's feelings the way they did.

I reached for my phone and reread the text Edward had sent me when I was still at Alice's.

**_Is Alice alright? Call me. -E _**

It was almost midnight but suddenly I didn't care that he could be sleeping already.

"Yeah?" He groaned against the speaker, he must have been indeed sleeping.

"Edward..." I said with a terse voice, ready to figuratively rip his head off but the words escaped me, because a part of me was aware that this really wasn't our problem to deal with, that boys were sort of idiots by nature, and that he wasn't really the person I wanted to kill for hurting my friend.

I heard him groan again and the screeching sound his bed made when someone sat on the edge "Bella, what's wrong?" I didn't say anything for a couple minutes before he spoke again. "Is everything alright, Sweetheart? You are kind of scaring me." And I was, the tone of his voice giving away that much.

"We need to talk." I cringed at how awful that sounded even to my own ears.

"Baby..." He sighed, and I could picture him running his hand through his hair. "My Dad's home, I can't come over."

"No, no. Tomorrow."

"Okay...?" Neither of us said anything else for few minutes. I was mad at him for being part of that damn bet but I was more worried about what did that mean. I thought Edward had really changed but if he was willing to behave that way, I wasn't so sure anymore.

* * *

Next morning, the first thing I noticed after I had parked my car was that Edward was parked right across my usual spot and that he was leaning against his car, his bag by his feet and a textbook on his hands as he read it. I usually set myself to walk to him, but then I saw Alice sneaking into the main building and my worry for her was greater in the moment. When I got to her, she was hurriedly taking out books from her locker.

"Hey," I was going to ask how she was, but I figured she wouldn't want to answer that; it was obvious she wasn't feeling right.

"Hey," She smiled at me and I had to admit that if I hadn't seen her yesterday I would have believed she was perfectly fine. "Got to go." She turned to leave but I walked after her.

"Why are you running?" I asked once I was beside her.

She sighed. "I don't want to see him." She said simply, her strong expression never wavering.

"Oh, okay." I nodded, completely understanding. "Come on," I put an arm around get shoulders and followed her to her first class.

I had to literally run to my class but I didn't care, Alice had been there for me when I was breaking down, it was my turn to be there for her.

The rest of the day passed by surprisingly fast, Alice decided to skip Yearbook and just head home. I made her promise that she would call me if she needed anything.

I took the long route to the gym in an attempt to not see Edward, I still wasn't sure how to feel with his involvement in the bet and preferred to talk to him once I had thought things over.

The practice went by as usual, and when the Coach dismissed us I realized I was so tired my eyes were fluttering. I was walking slowly to the locker room when a hand grabbed my elbow and turned me around.

The movement was so sudden that I stumbled and fell into something warm and hard, strong arms enveloped me and I sighed contently.

"You okay?" Edward asked worriedly, pressing a kiss to the top of my hair.

"Mmm-hmm." I buried my face into his chest, not caring for a moment that I was sort of upset. "Just tired."

"Want me to drive you home?" He shifted our bodies so that I was leaning most of my weight on him. "Shit. Right. Or I could drop you off few houses down yours or something..." I felt a pang in my chest at hearing him say that.

_Note to self: Talk to Dad! _

"Can we go to your house, instead?" I looked up at him as he nodded.

"Sure... Um, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Later?"

* * *

Later came by couple hours later. When we got to his house he left me in his bedroom as he went to the kitchen for something to eat but when he came back I had already fallen asleep. When I woke up, I was surprised to find myself laying on Edward's chest since it had not only been a while but I had fallen asleep while he was not in the room.

I had no idea if he knew I was awake but I thought it was cute that he had an arm around me, his hand stroking my back, while the other held the remote. I tried to hear what was on TV but only heard a very low mumble. I turned my head in direction of the TV only to realize that the remote he was holding was for the stereo. The song changed and its volume was a bit higher so I was able to recognize it. I smiled when I heard the first few words of the song; Edward had a soft spot for Adele even calling it his guilty pleasure. I wouldn't even know this if I hadn't found an entire album of her in his iPod.

"I like this song." I whispered, snuggling closer to him.

"Yeah?" He kissed the top of my head.

"Mmm-hmm." I wrapped an arm around his waist. "Sorry I fell asleep."

"It's okay, you needed to rest a bit."

"Thanks." I mumbled before crawling up his body so I was straddling him and we were face to face. I leaned down and pressed my lips against his. I was still sort of asleep so it felt extra awesome. Like half dream and half reality.

He let me dominate the kiss, simply following my lead and keeping his hands on my waist. When I pulled apart to breath, he talked right away. "You are giving me mixed signals, Bella."

"Huh?" I moved a little bit farther and his hands tightened around my waist.

"I told you I would take from you whatever you'd give me, and I still mean that." He sighed. "Just thought I'd let you know, that I don't really like this."

"What is 'this'?" I asked, moving completely away so I could sit on the bed.

"You tell me." He moved to a sitting position, too. "Whatever it is, Bella, just tell me."

I sighed and looked down. "I don't know how to tell you what's bothering me."

"Hey," He moved closer, taking my chin gently between his fingers. "Talk to me. Forget I'm your boyfriend, okay? Just talk to me as you would with any other of your friends."

I nodded and sighed before speaking. "Alice and Jasper broke up." I looked up at him, trying to look for any kind of sign that would tell me he knew this.

"Really?" He sounded genuinely surprised. "Haven't talked to him since last week."

"Well, yeah... It was because of the bet." His eyes widened and I found myself to be sickly relieved to find guilt in his expression.

"Fuck." I nodded, raising my eyebrow. "I..." He sighed. "Is this why you have been upset?"

"Well, yeah."

"Okay, listen. First of all, I don't even remember doing that bet but from what Emmett told me afterwards, it was Jasper the one to initiate that shit. Second, Alice was playing with Jasper at first, she doesn't have any right to be upset for this. Third, Jasper used the money to take her out, not something else. Fourth, what does this have to do with us?"

"Because she's my friend, Edward!" He stood up from the bed, leaving me talking to his back. "She was there when you weren't!"

He turned around abruptly, his eyes having become somewhat cold. "That's low, Bella."

"But true." I stood up, as well, not liking the feeling of him looking down at me. "You broke me, she helped me pick up the pieces."

"And pushed you into another asshole!"

I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. "At least you are acknowledging you are an asshole, too."

"Yeah, whatever." He took a paper from his desk and crumpled it.

"Ugh, I hate you!" He turned around slowly, stared at me for few seconds before walking to his bedside table and picking up his keys. "Edward?" I was going to apologize because I didn't really mean that but he just walked into his closet, coming out couple minutes later with shoes on. "Edward..." I tried again but he completely ignored me.

"Come on, I'll take you home." He didn't look at me while saying this, walking to the door instead.

I followed hurriedly after him and by the time I caught up he was already opening the door of his car so it was useless to try to stop him. I slid into the passenger side quietly.

He rolled down the windows, making it impossible to talk. In less than five minutes he stopped two houses from mine and unlocked the doors, his eyes not leaving the road.

"Edward..." I turned to face him, unbuckling my seatbelt. "I didn't mean it." I whispered.

"What are you even doing with me if you hate me?" He loosened the grip he had on the wheel but didn't look at me.

"I am telling you I don't. Edward, I was upset... It just came out."

"You did mean it, Bella." He sighed and looked down. "Up to some extent, you must have meant it. In all the time we've been together, before we broke up, you never once told me you hated me, no matter how upset you were." He finally turned to look at me. "I know I deserve it, but it hurts."

"I'm sorry!" I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face into the crook of it. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Edward reached between us to undo his seatbelt before turning fully to me and wrap his arms around me. "I know it was a bitchy thing to say but... I don't know, Edward, I guess I'm a little overwhelmed and-"

"Listen," He cut me off. "I don't want to keep on fighting with you, let's just talk some other day, okay? When we are not this upset anymore." I moved out of his arms and stared at him, his jaw was clenched and his brows were furrowed.

I nodded, realizing that he was really upset. "I don't understand why you're so upset, but yeah, whatever." I said, getting angry myself. I was able to pick up my bag from the backseat and open my door before he talked again.

"You don't understand why I am so upset? I can't even drop you off at your house and you just told me you fucking hated me, wouldn't you be upset?"

"I don't know, Edward. Probably not. Especially not if I had done all the things you've done to me." I said tersely before getting out of the car, slamming its door.

I felt his eyes on me as I crossed in front of his car to step on the sidewalk and then not even a minute later I heard the screeching sound of his tires as he turned the car back to his house.

* * *

A week passed and Edward still wouldn't talk to me. Me, on the other hand had realized that the entire thing was just so stupid by the time I had walked into my house. Well, stupid for me to get upset over, I understood why Edward would get angry.

But then whenever I tried to talk to him he'd either be really rude or simply ignore me and, for that, I had every right to be angry.

That day, however, I was even angrier.

Between first and second period I went to the bathroom and before I could go out of the stall I was in, I recognized three whiny voices as their owners entered the bathroom.

"I told you, Vicky!" Tanya screeched. "They wouldn't last; he's still crazy about me!"

"Yeah, he totally is, Tanya." Lauren said right away.

"Ugh, if you guys even knew how many times a day he texts me, especially now that he and that ugly Swan split again." Tanya sighed dramatically. "It's starting to get annoying, especially now that I've got my eyes set on someone else."

"Right," Victoria scoffed. "He is the one after you, not the other way around." She scoffed again.

"Excuse me!" Tanya screeched in her god-awful voice.

"No, nothing."

"Well, you better not have meant that, Victoria!" Tanya laughed shortly. "In fact, he just sent me a text!"

"Yes, Vicky, don't be mean." Lauren said and then the three of them left the bathroom.

I walked out of my stall with my heart beating way faster than normal.

He couldn't be doing this to me... Not again...

I felt the back of my eyes burn and splashed some water on my face quickly before I stormed out of the bathroom. I knew Edward would be by his locker so that's where I headed. He was surrounded by some of his friends an didn't even notice me until I pushed some guy out of my way.

"Your phone." I said curtly, extending my hand.

"What?" I didn't look at his face, focusing on the button on his shirt.

"Your phone, Edward. Now." The people that had been around him started walking again.

"Well," He scoffed, his hand reaching for his back pocket. "Is nice to see you, too, Bella." He slapped his phone into my hand, not letting go of it. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" He said mockingly and I tugged on the end of the phone I was holding.

"Just give me the phone, Edward." I said through gritted teeth, tears blurring my view. He let go of it, sighing. I looked through the recent texts and only found couple with Emmett, Jasper and then some of mine. I checked his Blackberry Messenger and the conversations opened were with me and his dad. I handed him his phone just as the bell rang and I turned to leave before he could see the tears that had escaped.

"No." He said, grabbing my waist and turning me back around. "No, no, no, no." He wiped the tears away with his thumbs. "You are going to tell me what is wrong." He dragged me to the other side of the school, to a classroom that was empty most of the time, and locked the door after we were inside.

"Edward, I have to go to class." I said, rubbing my fist against my eye, willing my voice to sound as uninteresting as possible. It failed.

"No, you don't." He walked to where I was standing by the desk and took hold of my waist. "You have to sit here," He lifted me onto the desk and lifted my face so I would finally look at him. "and tell me what is wrong." I was surprised to see concern in his eyes, I felt my lip starting to tremble and tears pooling in my eyes once again. "Fuck." He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pushed me softly against his chest. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't meant to be so hard on you."

"J-just hold me, o-okay?" I mumbled against his shirt and he sighed, stepping closer and tangling his fingers with my hair.

I didn't know what had taken over me. As soon as Tanya said that Edward was still in touch with her, I believed it. Just like that. It didn't matter that he had sworn up and down he loved me and he wouldn't hurt me like that again. It didn't matter that I was the one acting like a witch most of the times and he just accepted it.

_I. Had. Just. Believed. It._

I had been trying to convince Edward that we were strong enough to get over everything that had happened to us in the past. While he worried that maybe we couldn't work things through, I just shrugged the idea off, as if it was ridiculous.

But here I was, crying my eyes out, because it hurt... It hurt so fucking bad, to think Edward was cheating on me again, but it hurt even more the realization that I didn't trust him, not anymore.

When I had found out the first time around, I had my doubts, I wondered whether it was possible or not and then I reached the conclusion that he had really betrayed my trust. But I had wondered.

Now, I just went to him to yell at him when I would read the compromising texts. I hadn't even thought of the possibility that attention-seeker was lying. It hadn't even crossed my mind.

I moved my arms around his neck and buried my face into the crook of it. In response, he wrapped his arms around my waist more tightly, rubbing soothing circles on my back, and stepped between my legs to be closer.

"I miss you." He whispered against the side of my face and I tightened my hold on him.

I felt close to him, but it just killed me to think that it wasn't enough because I had just realized I didn't trust him. I never really had given myself time to figure it out, to figure out how to believe in him again and that had been the problem to begin with.

The problem hadn't been that Alice had gotten hurt; boys did stuff like that all the time, the problem had been that I thought Edward could pull some other trick and leave me heartbroken again. It didn't matter that he had been trying to prove himself to me. It hadn't mattered because I was trying to ignore everything that was wrong just because I was happy I was back with him.

"A penny for your thoughts?" He whispered, pulling away a little. I looked up at him, and his eyes were soft and sad while his hands were rough but gentle as he placed them on either side of my face. "Can you tell me now?" I nodded and then proceeded to tell him what I heard in the bathroom, as soon as I mentioned Tanya's name he looked down to my feet that were idly dangling down the desk.

"Are you going to say something?" I asked, I had finished talking several minutes ago and still he hadn't say a word.

"I don't know what to say, Bella. I mean, you already know I am not texting her and... I guess you do have a reason to doubt of me."

"Do I really have a reason?"

"Yes," I raised my eyebrow and he understood what I meant. "Wha- No, not like that! I mean... Ugh, I mean you do have a reason, considering what happened... before."

"But I shouldn't!" His eyes widened slightly at my little outburst. "I shouldn't doubt you, Edward." I said more calmly.

"Listen, I know I made a mistake, Baby, and I have to live with it. Giving you a reason to doubt me is the mistake, and... I guess we just need to get used to it. You not trusting me, and me trying not to give you opportunities to doubt me."

"No, no, no! Edward you don't get it! I- look at me." I placed my hands on his neck, willing him to look at me. "I think we made a mistake by getting back together." He froze and I felt his hands twitch on their current place at my knees. "I mean, you were right. Remember what you told me about us not being able to truly fix things up? Well, you were right, we sort of just jumped into this again, and maybe we need to talk some more... Or, I don't know..."

"So... Is this you breaking up with me?" He asked, frowning and avoiding my eyes.

"No! God, no!" I said loudly. "I don't wanna be without you." I admitted, my voice softer.

"I don't wanna be without you, either." He whispered, glancing up into my eyes briefly. I slid my hand to his nape and pulled him in until I could kiss him.

It was a soft, lingering, peck. When I pulled apart, Edward followed my movements and pressed his lips against mine again. This kiss was still as gentle as the first, even a bit unsure, but it was still him so it still felt like magic.

"We really need to talk." He whispered once the sweet kisses were over.

"Uh-huh."

"Not here, though." He motioned to the empty classroom around us.

"Nah-huh."

"Bella..." He said with a hint of a smile on his voice, yet his lips remained intact.

"Huh?" He didn't say anything. "Come on, Honey, gimme a smile." He shook his head and I pouted. "Please?"

He looked up into my eyes before his lips curved upwards.

"There he is!" I ran my thumb across his lower lip. "Now you're starting to look like the boy I am crazy about." He chuckled, looking right into my eyes.

When the chuckles ended, his smile became wary, almost a sad one. "I love you." I responded by giving him a tentative smile of my own.

For now we were good, we had sort of averted the crisis.

I felt a lump forming in my throat at the thought that followed.

_God, please let that be enough in the long run._

* * *

**God, I don't even know how to start apologizing. **

**It's been months, I know, but in my defense I've been up to my neck with schoolwork. Have you ever heard of this little thing called IB? No? Well, consider yourself lucky and if you have... God bless your soul. **

**I am really sorry.**

**I promise I will do my best so this doesn't happen again.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs**


	36. Outtake 1

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all :)**

**The outtake is Tanya's POV from a scene in chapter 34.**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Outtake 1**

**Hey, it's me again **  
**I'm so in love with you again **  
**Please can I see you every day?**

**Voices - Cheap Trick**

**TPOV**

I saw him get tackled and stopped myself from acknowledging the fact. I looked down to my fingernails and decided I needed to visit the saloon soon. I was thinking which color I'd choose when I heard female giggling from the side.

Instead of looking up to the side, where the voices were coming from, I looked to the front, where the boys were playing, they all stopped playing and turned to the four girls that had arrived.

I scowled when I recognized them. Rosalie, Bella, Angela and that other little girl were walking this way, the guys already surrounding them which was ridiculous, since they were all taken. They should have been surrounding me and my girls; we were here to get boys. Well, they were; I was here trying to get Edward back.

I saw Bella walking to the middle of the field instead of the bleachers, where her little followers had situated, and saw her sit beside Edward as he rolled on the ground, having stayed there after Emmett jumped on him. I rolled my eyes when I saw him act like a baby and kissed her teasingly, but then when he kissed her for real I felt a pang on my chest, but I couldn't look away. It just hurt too much.

Here in Forks, I may not be the biggest fish in the pond, but I certainly am one of the best. Before, when I lived in California, I was nobody. When my parents got divorced I chose to live with my mom because she was the one moving away to a new city where I could star from zero.

Not only that I was new, fresh meat if you will, but I had the kind of beauty town folks are not used to so it really didn't take much to get noticed. Even though she doesn't know it, Bella rules the girls of the school and it wasn't hard to see this, so when I pretend to be lost on my way to class that first day, she was stupid enough to help me -to let me into her group.

When that happened, the football team had been away at some away game or something. So I didn't know that the bronze-haired god was taken, not that it would have mattered anyway. Months passed before Edward even acknowledged me as something more than one of his girlfriend's friends, but then he did, and that was all I needed.

It was clear he was unhappy, his eyes would get bright when he looked at Bella but then as soon as he turned around he'd take a deep breath and his eyes would become hallow. It was easy, to get him to trust me, although he always kept a distance because I wasn't subtle at all about wanting him, on several times he would hint that he was taken, as if I didn't know already.

It was never really my fault though, how could I not want him? He was -is- the definition of perfection. Not only that he is hot as hell, but his inclination for sports and cocky attitude were a complete turn on.

He was the last step needed to become the 'someone' I had always wanted to be. Problem was, I fell for him.

Next time I looked, Edward hadn't stopped kissing Bella but then she smiled and he pulled apart, resting his forehead on top of hers. No one was watching them, their getting back together was already old news and no one really cared anymore, but my eyes were glued to the scene in front of me. It killed me how gentle he was with her, how he looked blissful after just a kiss; what hurt the most, though, was that he never was like that with me; hell, he barely ever kissed me.

He was just as guilty that the affair progressed the way it did. He looked so panicked that morning after he fell asleep on me while we were fooling around, that I had decided to tell him the truth, that nothing major had happened but he kept avoiding me and giving me lame excuses that I became angry and just let him believe he had cheated on his adored girlfriend. I was going to leave it at that, because my pride was hurt but then he came to me one night, after Bella had left the party we were in, completely drunk and started kissing me. After that, things progressed quickly; one day, Edward was too drunk to drive home so he stayed at my house, unconsciously. It wasn't even slightly romantic, he simply passed out on my bed and at some point during the night he turned and half of his arm ended on top of me, I turned around and looked at his face, and that was all I needed to realize I had fallen for him.

The morning after, he wasn't rude or anything, but he was clearly annoyed because we never spend the night together, however, that night started a routine that would involve him being pretty upset and pretty drunk so he'd drive to my house and tell me he needed me.

He is so convinced that I don't really love him because supposedly I don't know him but, I do. I've been on the side, loving him, for far too long not to know all there is to know. Maybe it's true that Bella knows him a great deal too, but he notices it because they are inconsequential things, like his favorite food or color, with me however he doesn't notice because I know the things he can't just see. I know when to ask, when to push, what to expect, when to expect, and such.

They stood up, bringing me out of my daze, and went to stand with the rest of their friends. Edward stood beside her and wrapped his arms around her, leaning down to whisper something in her ear that made her blush.

I am not that stupid; I always knew there was a difference between what he had with me and what he had with her. Bella is his girlfriend after all, but it had never really bothered me before, because I knew she wasn't putting out and while that lasted, Edward would keep coming back. Yes, there were times in which the guilt would be too much for him and he'd try to stop but he always came back, but now I just wasn't so sure because he looked really into Bella this time around. He didn't look bored anymore.

Someone aww'd mockingly at them and the little black haired girl squealed, pulling out her phone and telling them to do 'that' again. It was so obvious she was a newbie. Edward kissed Bella's cheek and newbie over there took the picture that no doubt will appear on my Newsfeed in couple seconds.

He looked truly happy, which is why I had to step in before it was too late.

* * *

**I know, it is short but that's why it is just an outtake, later this week I will be posting chapter 36 which will be longer than usual, and fluffier than usual.**

**Hope you liked this, if you did, would you guys want more outtakes like this?**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Ghs**


	37. Chapter 37

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all. :)**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 36**

* * *

We were having lunch, sitting on the balcony of the club restaurant. It was a nice place with a great view, the green of the grass contrasting perfectly with the blue of the fake lake.

I ordered something light, having already planned to go to the beach with Bella after her cheer practice, where I would eat again. My dad ordered food that Mom would never let him eat.

"Son," Dad said, gaining my attention since I had been people watching as we waited for our food. "There's something we need to talk about." I raised my eyebrows, surprised, and he shifted a little on his chair, looking uncomfortable.

Uh-oh.

"Okay..."

"Well, two things actually, but let's just begin with this first."

"What is 'this'?" I asked, doubled worried now. I hadn't done anything. God, what is so important that he can't talk to me about it at home. Goddamn, what did I do!?

"Um, okay, listen." Carlisle Cullen was never nervous, ever, yet here he was, unable to talk to his own son without squirming.

What the hell did I do? "I am listening, Dad." I was impatient and edgy now.

"Your mom told me she caught you and Bella the other day, and she asked me to talk to you about it." He said it all in one breath, looking relieved afterwards.

"First of all, you already gave me 'the talk'" Hell, he's been the one behind the condom boxes magically appearing on my bedside table drawer since I was fifteen.

"I know I already did it. You think this is nice for me?" It clearly wasn't, he was tugging on the collar of his polo shirt every few seconds. "I am okay with you having sex as long as you're being responsible. For me it's enough that you won't get any disease, or Bella pregnant." I had the sudden image of Charlie punching me square on the jaw and shuddered. "Your mom is different, she still thinks of you as her little baby, and little babies don't have sex with their girlfriends." He whispered-yelled the last part as one waitress walked by our table.

"Well, I am not a baby anymore, Dad. Besides, when she-" I made a pause to turn my fingers into fake quotation marks. "'caught' us, we were just kissing." He raised an eyebrow, not believing me. "We were!" I said, widening my eyes. It wasn't an innocent peck, and I might have had my hands up her skirt while lying on top of her, but we were just kissing. "Mom's been weird with Bella the past couple times she's seen her."

Dad sighed, twirling his wedding band around his finger. "Your mom, she's having trouble accepting the fact that you'll be gone by the time fall comes." He said this looking at his hand, and his voice told me that Mom was not the only one with that issue. Suddenly, I felt a tightness in my throat. He raised his gaze and looked me in the eye. "Just be discreet, Edward. I don't want your mom catching you in any compromising position again." The waitress came in that moment with our food and the subject was over.

Dad was still eating when I spoke. "What was the other thing you wanted to talk about?"

He patted his mouth with the napkin before speaking. "Right. College." I felt the muscles in back tense. I hadn't thought about it, I needed to talk to Bella about it.

"I haven't decided anything, yet." I said in a little voice, embarrassed.

"Oh, don't worry. That's good actually." My head shot up to meet his eyes, only to find he actually meant that. "I know you've been thinking psychology for a long while, but-"

"Dad," I stopped him, feeling anger wash over me. "I thought you were finally okay with it."

"I am, Edward." He sighed. "Sort of." I scoffed, crossing my arms and looking to the side. "I won't lie and tell you that I wouldn't prefer you becoming a surgeon, like me, but I know that's not going to happen."

"Then what is all this about, Dad?"

"Okay," He straightened on his seat, immediately putting me on edge. "By the time application deadlines came around, you... You were still in a weird place, Edward, and I don't think the ones you thought of are the best. However, I knew that if I came and told you the ones I think would be great choices you would have just ignored me." Again with the shifting on his seat. Ugh. "Here's the thing, I sent applications for you. You don't have to even look at the letters if you don't want to. I just want you to know you have more options."

"Isn't that illegal?" I asked, shocked and unsure how to feel about it. "I won't go anywhere I didn't get in by myself."

"I know, Edward." He waved to the waitress for the check. "But I have four acceptance letters that you did earn; I just used what you sent to the other colleges by yourself and mailed it."

"I... I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. The letters are on my desk, just get in and grab them if you feel like it."

I was still shocked, but a part of me understood that my dad was finally okay with me, that once I stopped trying, I finally gained his acceptance.

* * *

I looked up from my phone when I heard steps approaching me and smiled when I saw my girl making her way towards me. God, I love her. When she's gotten close enough I reached for her hand and pulled her forward, guiding her arm behind me so she'd wrap both of them around me.

"I'm sweaty." She said when I put my hand on the back of her head, beneath her ponytail.

"Don't care." I mumbled, lowering my lips onto hers. We kissed heavily for a while, taking advantage of the empty parking lot but when I slid my hand down to her ass I realized the parking lot wasn't as empty as I had thought.

"Oh-kay" Alice said loudly, bringing us back to reality. "I've had enough of this soft core porn shit."

"Well, don't fucking watch then." I snapped, she was just so, so aggravating. "What are you even doing here, perv?" Seriously, why would she stay there, watching us as we kissed?

"Well, asshole, you are driving us to Bella's, aren't you?" She got into the car and I looked down to Bella, who was biting her lip with a guilty expression on her face.

"I thought we were going to hang out?" I didn't even try to hide the bite in my tone. We were supposed to go to her place so she could shower after practice and then we were going to the beach, I even packed a fucking picnic!

"We are, Honey." She spoke as if I was a toddler about to throw a tantrum, placing her hands on my chest. "Alice is just tagging  
along." I took hold of her wrists and pushed her hands away, before walking to my side of the car.

Maybe under other circumstances this wouldn't upset me so much, but we had agreed that we needed to sit down and figure out a way to be together without constantly wanting to kill each other in the process; she kept avoiding it and honestly, I was starting to feel as if I was the only one making an effort.

"Hmm, this is so good." I heard Alice say as I climb into the car, I looked at her in the rearview mirror and I swear I felt a vein explode.

"What the fuck are you doing, Alice!?"

"What?" She said as I started driving and then took another bite of the sandwich not even bothering to finish chewing before she started talking again.

"I was starving and there was food in here, so..."

"God, you are so fucking annoying."

"Jeez, it's just a sandwich, relax." She rolled her eyes and continued eating.

"Don't you have friends or something because, seriously, you being around Bella all the time just shows how pathetic you truly are. I bet that's why you left wherever the hell you came from in the first place."

"Bella!" Alice screeched before kicking the back of my seat. "Are you listening?"

"Edward, you are being rude. Apologize." She said in a bored tone, looking down at her phone.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Edward, for the love of God, it's just food."

"Really good food." Alice had the audacity to speak. I remained silent, deciding to wait until Alice was out of the car to try and talk to Bella.

"I'll wait for you, Bella, out here." I said once we were in front of her house. Charlie was at the station at this hour so it was safe to park here. Alice jumped out of the car and Bella was about to do the same but I called her name, stopping her. "We had plans."

"We still do. I am just going to shower and then we'll go do whatever it is you had planned." She huffed and looked at me, raising an eyebrow. "Is that good enough for you?"

No! Of course it's not good enough for me. I've been going out of my way for the past week to try and fix this whole mess for good and she acts like she doesn't even care. It hurts more than I would like to admit.

"Just go do whatever you need to do, I'll wait here." I said instead, with a sigh, swallowing down the lump in my throat. I kept my eyes on her as she met Alice on the door, they talk for a minute before Bella turned around and started walking back to me. Confused, I looked back at Alice as she gives me a wink and enters the house with a flourish. I got out of the car and stood between my open door and the car.

"Edward, listen," Bella said, standing on the other side of the car. "Alice is not feeling well, you should go home."

"What are you talking about!? She just-"

"I am sick of your attitude with Alice, it's childish."

"Why do you insist on her being around all the time? Don't you realize that we always fight when she's around?"

"She's my best friend, Edward, why can't you understand that?" She turned around and started walking back to the house.

"I'm your boyfriend, Bella." She kept walking as if I wasn't talking. "If you want to break up with me, do it! Just don't treat me as if I am your punching bag, or your fucking chauffeur!" I waited for a few seconds, expecting her to turn around but when she didn't I climbed back into my car and drove home. I knew mom would be home but, in the midst of my anger, I didn't think I should have gone somewhere else to avoid her seeing me like this.

"What happened?" She asked as I tossed the basket with the food on the counter. "Did you two fight again, Edward?" Her tone was accusing.

Goddammit.

"You know, Mom, you are so worried about all the ways in which I might hurt your sweet, little Bella than you don't even realize that I am the one getting hurt."

* * *

Next day, I purposely sat with Jasper by the main door at school, we were not even talking, just smoking. Jasper's presence was to annoy Alice and the cigarette between my lips was for Bella. I knew I wasn't exactly doing the right thing but, she said my attitude was childish? Fine, childish was exactly what she would get.

As expected, they arrived together and unknowingly started making their way to us. When they noticed us, Alice stopped walking for few seconds while Bella looked at me coldly. Not aware of my plan, Jasper made his way to Alice and started jogging when she started walking the other way.

Bella stopped walking a few feet from me, enough so that I didn't have to tilt my head upwards to make eye contact. "Edward," She said impassively. I raised an eyebrow and took a long, deep drag of my cigarette, breathing out through my nose causing her to narrow her pretty, pretty eyes. Sighing, I dropped the cigarette to the floor and stood up, willing to just pretend that nothing happened the day before -which, apparently, is what we do best- but she was already walking away, ignoring me when I called out her name.

I was just so, so pissed off after last afternoon and last night when I called her non-stop for over an hour to offer an apology she didn't even deserve. Still a little upset, I ignored the urge to go after her.

I've done enough chasing after her to last me a lifetime.

More than enough.

* * *

I sat on the bench and reached for my bottle of water inside my bag, nodding noncommittally to the girl in front of me. I used to have a class with her last semester, she failed and was asking if she could borrow my notes.

"Sure, let me check if I still have them." She then started talking about how boring history was and how she couldn't remember so many names and dates; I smiled and nodded every once in a while, pretending to pay attention. I wasn't even listening to her, at the mention of history, my mind immediately went to Bree and how I would help her study and then I hated myself because I shouldn't be thinking about her. It's just, being around her was so, so easy, relaxed not this joke Bella and I were calling a relationship. Sure, I loved her more than I'd ever thought possible but, what was the point? I wasn't even sure if she even loved me anymore, and my feelings alone were not enough to make this work, not even close.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize the girl in front of me was still there or that there was another one coming this way. "Hey, guys, what ya' doing?" Bella said in a sing-song voice as she sat on my lap, before kissing my cheek.

"Hey, B, what's up? Edward, please, let me know, okay?"

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." She wasn't even a foot away when Bella slapped my chest, making me turn to look at her.

"What the hell, Edward!?"

"This is what it takes, then?" I said angrily. "I have to talk to other girls so you will see me, talk to me? Is that it?" I pushed her off my lap and stood up. "What is this bullshit, Bella? I can't be happy with you so you have to ensure that I can't be happy at all? First, Bree and now, again? Is that what all of this is about?" At some point during my rant she had stood up, looking at me with wide eyes. "Not that you deserve any kind of explanation, but she was just asking for my old history notes, God..."

"You're not happy with me?"

"Are you kidding me? I am fucking miserable, like, borderline clinical depression. That's how unhappy I am, Isabella." I stopped talking when I heard her sob brokenly once. "I'm sorry, I just-" I sighed reluctantly. I didn't want to apologize; sure, I was a little harsh but it didn't make my words any less true. "I love you so much," I stepped closer to her and bent my knees a little to look at her face. "So fucking much but all you do is push me away. Tell me, what am I supposed to do?" Suddenly she threw herself at me, her arms tight around my neck and her legs off the floor. I had to wrap my arms around her waist so we wouldn't fall down, she started repeating 'I'm sorry's between the kisses she planted on my mouth.

This was all I wanted, for her to recognize that this time she was the wrong one, to apologize, but in that moment all I could feel was that it simply wasn't real.

* * *

The only good thing that came out of this rollercoaster I was in was that my parents, after almost nineteen years, finally figured out when not even try to talk to me. As it was, other than meaningless conversations during dinner, Dad would only talk to me when he wanted to know if I had gone through the stack of letters responding my, and his, applications. He was worried that I'd miss some deadlines for tuition payments and stuff like that. Perhaps I should be worried, too, but I just didn't have it in me to even think about what would happen next week, much less what would happen several months away.

Besides, I wasn't even sure about being a psychologist anymore. The only reason I'd chosen that for my future was because I wanted to be like my grandfather and, honestly, to simply go against my father, but lately Dad's been pretty college with me while I can barely hold a conversation with Gramps because I know I disappointed him; I just couldn't bear to disappoint him again, this time by not being as good of a psychologist as him.

On the other hand, Mom kept looking at me as if she wanted to apologize but notices that I'm in no mood for any kind of conversation, or probably it is her own weariness regarding my intentions with Bella.

Whatever, it's not her apologies I want.

After I told Bella I wasn't exactly happy with the way things were, and she apologized about a thousand times I actually walked away for once, not wanting to deal with our issues in the middle of gym class, not like she tried to stop me or even called me at some point during the day which led me to decide that I wouldn't give in this time; I could feel myself caving, though, and I hated myself for it. For once, I wanted her to need me enough to push her pride aside and talk to me. At this point, I wouldn't even make her work that hard, she'd just have to say 'hi', of course an 'I miss you' wouldn't hurt either.

Bleh, wishful thinking.

* * *

After Dad brought up the fact that I would be leaving soon for college I sort of started hanging out more with my parents, besides, it is not like I had much better things to do, So, as a part of this plan, I would go with Dad to the club every Saturday morning and even if I didn't really know how to play golf so I was basically his caddy and then, once he was done playing I would awkwardly stand beside him while more people I would have ever thought knew my dad talked to him.

We got home an hour later, and I was oddly pleased with the scene I was met with. Bella and my mom were sitting on the same couch, Renée sitting across them, talking amicably about something. I dumped the bag with the clubs by the door and smiled at Renée, before placing a kiss on the top of my mom's head from behind and walking to sit on the armrest beside Bella. I put my arm around her shoulders and she looked up at me, "Sorry." I mouthed.

"Me, too." She puckered her lips a little, so I leaned down and gave her pouty lips a gentle peck.

Dad sat beside Mom and he was quickly included in the conversation. I pretended to be interested in their conversation but I truly just wanted to get Bella into the pool with me, from my position, I could see down her shirt, noticing she was wearing her bikini. A while later, Dad dismissed us, having caught me stealing another glance.

We went to the kitchen to drink something and Bella mocked me because I was wearing khakis and a polo. "Such a preppy boy, my boyfriend." I shut her up with the kiss I had wanted to give her since I first came in and she melted against me. I pushed her into the laundry room, remembering that I had to be 'discreet' and kept kissing her for few more minutes. She looked disoriented when we pulled apart. "Wha... Uh?" I loved that I left her speechless, I just loved it.

"Not that I am complaining but, how come you're here?" I was honestly going to stop by her house at some point during the day, having already caved to what every single part of me wanted.

"Mom told me she was coming over and I kind of wanted to see you." I opened the dryer machine to get my trunk shorts out and started to undress when Bella let out a yelp, I turned to her only to see her covering her eyes.

I chuckled, tugging on the collar of my shirt to get it off. "Bella, you do remember that you've seen me naked before, right?" Not that she would have seen me naked right then, I always keep my underwear on when I am wearing my trunks.

"Not the same." She turned around so she was facing the wall and I laughed at her, throwing my clothes into the hamper. I was about to put on my trunks but decided against it.

I walked up to her and wrapped an arm around her, pressing our lower halves together. She jumped and tried to step away from me but my grip around her didn't let her.

"Edward, you better be dressed." She said sternly, lowering her hands from her eyes.

"Or what?" I whispered into her ear, flattening my hand against her stomach before kissing her right between her jaw and her neck.

"Edward," I could feel against my lips how her heartbeat started going crazy. "Edward, stop." I shook my head against her and she gave up, resting her head on my shoulder for a moment as I kept my assault on her neck. "Anyone can come in." She reasoned and I let out a frustrated sigh, resting my head on her shoulder, nodding. I stayed like that for a minute or two, trying to cool off. "You are dressed, right?" I smirked, deciding to play with her a little longer.

"I don't know," I grabbed her hand. "Why don't you check yourself?" My briefs went to the middle of my thigh, so I placed her palm below the hem of it.

"Holy shit!" She yelled and jumped away from me almost running into the wall as I started laughing like crazy. "Edward! What's wrong with you!?" I only continued laughing. "Edward!"

She finally turned around and pushed her hands against my chest. "Stop laughing!" I grabbed my trunks and put them on, still laughing while Bella keeps swatting playfully at me.

"Your reaction was priceless, Baby." I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and lead her out of the room. "Let's have some fun."

* * *

This was not a relationship. We'd have few hours of pure bliss, then we'd have awkward, tension-filled days only to be followed by a huge ridiculous fight and finally we'd end up temporarily making up with lots of tears on her side and lots of self deprecating remarks and apologies on mine. And then the process would be repeated. Over and over again.

No.

This was not a relationship.

* * *

**Oh my, what a mess these two have made. **

**Well, I know it has been more than a year since I last updated and I am so terribly sorry for that but, in my defense, the last post was made the day before I started college and let's just say I wasn't expecting it to be so hard and time consuming as it turned out to be. And whenever I had vacations I would just want to spend time with my family to make up for the fact that I can easily get so wrapped up in my stuff that I don't talk to them in months. **

**I think I have gotten better at managing my time so I promise to try and post more often, I have started to write a little before I go to bed so, let's hope this means you will receive a chapter soon!**

**Thanks so much for reading, and reviewing after such a long time.**

**Ghs. **


	38. Chapter 38

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all. :)**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 37**

* * *

**BPOV**

I couldn't stop thinking about Edward's words, about how miserable he was because of me.

I also couldn't stop thinking about Alice's words.

Riley never really stopped trying to contact me after I found out he was dating two girls at the same time, but the calls had gotten less often and I thought he was just getting over it -as he should- but then Alice started giving me the messages I refused to even listen to. She was way too insistent and, quite honestly, infuriating but I couldn't just stop being her friend over it, she needed me to be there for her after the whole Jasper thing. Some times, most times, I did want to ditch her so I could spend alone time with Edward but there was always something happening, something Jasper had done or something Riley had said.

I understood where Edward was coming from but, miserable? That was a little extreme, wasn't it?

I could feel the changes in him already, it wasn't anything blatantly obvious but it was enough for me to get scared.  
The way his eyes were guarded all the time when we were together, hell, his eyes barely show any sign of recognition when I approach him. He rarely smiles at me anymore, and when he does it's always this half smile that doesn't reach his eyes and barely lasts for a few seconds. He doesn't call me at night anymore, doesn't show up randomly at my house to pick me up. All little things that, perhaps by itself, they would mean nothing but all together... they just worried me.

What was I supposed to do, though? I am a firm believer that girls shouldn't push their friends aside once a boy comes into the picture but then again, Alice can be quite time-consuming. At least, for the time being, things were okay on both sides. After spending an entire day with Edward last Saturday he was less tense around me, of course I had to leave my phone at home that day so Alice couldn't reach me and try to invite herself as she often does but, hey, beggars can't be choosers, right?

"Hey, gorgeous." Edward said, showing up behind me as I took some books out of my locker. "Ready to go?"

"Yup, let's go." He grabbed my bag and pushed my locker closed before grabbing my hand and leading us to the parking lot where Alice is already standing by his car.

"Don't you have a Porsche, Brandon?" Edward asked Alice when we reach the car in a pleasing tone. Surprised, I looked up at him and rolled my eyes when I notice his eyes are full of mirth. Alice briefly looked my way before smiling brightly at him, apparently excited he is not insulting her. "Yes! Porsche turbo 911, actually." She crossed her arms in front of her chest, smugly.

"Wow, such a sweet ride." I hid my face against Edward's bicep, already knowing where's he going with this. "Then why the fuck you don't drive yourself home?" Still with his nice voice.

"Bella!" I truly hated when she did this, putting me right in between them and their silly fights. "Bella!" She screeched again since I didn't answer the first time.

"What, Alice? I'm not his mom, he can say whatever the hell he wants." She huffed once, and got in the car, glaring at me through the window. I rolled my eyes and turned so that I was facing Edward but giving my back to her.

"You know where she lives, right?" Once he nodded, I continued. "Okay, great, can we stop by her house first?"

His face fell. "Since practice was cancelled, I was kinda hoping we could-"

"I know, that's why we are dropping her off first, my parents are not home and you look so freaking hot today, I am in serious need of a make-out session."  
He smirked devilish at me. "Consider it done, Sweetheart."

* * *

"I seriously cannot believe you left me yesterday. Not cool, Bella." I rolled my eyes and kept eating; all morning she had been bringing that up as if I had committed a crime, or worse.

"Not even sorry." I mumbled through a mouthful of Esme's three milks cake that Edward brought me today, it was so good. Heh, should probably let him get to third base more often.

I chuckled softly at this, feeling my cheeks warm up at the memories while Alice screeched. "And you don't even regret it! Unbelievable!"

"Nope, not at all. I mean, have you seen him, Alice? And his hands? Uff."

"You slept with him?" She whispered harshly.

"No, but what if I did? He's been my boyfriend for over two years."

"You are such a slut." She laughed a little too loudly before standing up and heading out of the cafeteria.

Obsessive, jealous bitch.

* * *

"Something wrong, Baby?" Edward squeezed my thigh, glancing briefly in my direction before looking back at the road.

"No." I lied, not even sure myself about what had gotten me so down all of a sudden.

"Hey," He tapped my chin gently. "Talk to me, Baby."

"Is just..." I took his hand in both of mine and stared at them as I spoke. "Alice has been acting weird lately, that's all." I lowered my voice as I continued. "I have been babbling non-stop about you and it just occurred to me that she might be upset because of Riley." He tensed immediately, making me glad that I omitted that he's been calling me, although not enough to not feel guilty for bringing him up at all. "Sorry, sorry, forget I even said anything."

"No, don't be sorry. You have to be able to talk to me, I may not like everything you have to say but you should still be able to say it; I want you to say it." He took a deep breath before relaxing and sneaking his thumb out of my hold to caress the back of my hand. "Listen, she's with her father for the weekend, maybe she'll have time to think and come back already over it, and if she's not maybe you should stop saying nice stuff about me to her. Don't go badmouthing me either," He said the last part with a little humour. "She's your best friend and I want to be able to coexist with her eventually."

Even though my heart got all warm and mushy at his words, I sighed, "But, she's my best friend, and it's not like I can just stop talking about you, Edward, you are such a big part of my life, pretty much the biggest part."

"Well, I am sure you can talk to Rose, I bet she'd love to hang out with you, lately you've been spending all of your time either with me or Alice."

"I thought you hated Rosalie."

"I didn't, I was afraid of what she knew of me. I don't particularly like her because of the way she treats Emmett but hate her, not really. Besides, she was more than entitled to her hatred towards me. On the other hand," He smirked at me, "You can always talk to me, I would love to know what you have to say about me."

I chuckled and hugged his arm, closing my eyes. "You are the best."

He pressed his lips briefly against the top of my head. "I love you, that's all."

* * *

_Okay, Bella, you have to do this. You have to!_

I was pacing outside of Dad's office trying to come up with the courage to talk to him and tell him about Edward. I was aware of how much it hurt him not being able to come into my house like he used to. Sure, my dad wasn't exactly ecstatic about his constant presence but he used to be always welcome here.  
And he'd been so great lately that I just had to do something to reassure him, which I had noticed was something he needed. He was always a touchy guy but lately he has taken that to the extreme, needing to have both of his hands on me whenever we are together.

"Bella, just come in!" Dad yelled from the other side of the door, making me jump and squeal a little.

"Hey, Daddy." I said in a little voice, sitting in one of the chairs in front of the desk. He closed his laptop and put both of his hands on it before looking up at me with his poker face on. Not even his moustache twitched.

"What's wrong, Princess?" And I smiled, because the softness in his voice just gave him away.

"I wanted to talk to you..." I took a deep breath. "I am dating someone."

He laughed. "Oh, sweetheart." He kept laughing and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a really bad thing. "When you were seven, you hid a cat under your bed during two weeks before it ran away, at thirteen you told me you were staying the night at Rosalie's but went to a party instead." I had no idea he knew this stuff and since I wasn't sure where he was going with it, I remained silent. "When you were sixteen Edward spent the night in your room once, Valentine's day, Edward was here, two weeks ago you ditched English class and went to Port Angeles, last week Edward spent the entire afternoon here when your Mom and I were in Seattle. Bella, there's nothing that goes on with my family that I do not know." I was sure my heart had stopped and I was about to die. _How much did he really know!_ "I know you and Edward got back together."

"And...you are okay with it?"

"I'd like to think you'll always be my little girl but the truth is you're not. I trust you enough to know that you are sure with the decisions you make and if you are sure that being with Edward is the right thing..." He shrugged. "I am okay with it."

He started asking me about school and then I asked about how things were at the station, as we were talking I realized that it has been months since I sat down and just talked to him, and made a promise to myself to do this as often as possible.

Just as I was walking to the door so he could go back to work he called out my name once more. "Hey, Bells? Just so you know, I had a little... talk with Edward, earlier today."

_Oh, shit. _


	39. Chapter 39

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all. :)**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 38**

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**EPOV**

"You, you, you!" I turned around just in time for Bella to crash into me.

"Well, hello to you too, Baby." I laughed, wrapping an arm around her waist, my other hand tucking a strand of hair behind her ear that had apparently gone askew as she ran to me. "What's up?"

She took a deep breath and then letting it all out at once, "Whatdidmydadsaytoyou?" I laughed again and she hit me on the chest softly. "Edward! Tell me what happened!" Another soft hit to my chest since I kept laughing.

"Easy tiger," I took hold of her hands and put them around my neck, she immediately started playing with the little hairs on my nape. "I ran into him at the grocery store, he told me that I better treat you right this time and that was that." That was that? More like, _I don't care that your father is my best friend, I don't care that my daughter and my wife would probably kill me, if you ever hurt my girl again I will kill you and make sure that no one ever finds your body, which by the way, would be missing certain...appendage. Don't make me hurt you, Edward. _I wasn't about to tell that to Bella, though, just as I would not tell her that I started shaking the moment her father approached me, and by the end of his little speech I was a sweaty, trembling mess with his hands over his crotch.

"Oh, okay." She sighed in relief and stood on her tiptoes, pressing her mouth softly against mine. My eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of her full lips encasing my bottom lip between them. My chest made this weird noise as the tip of her tongue caressed my lip from one end to the other, I pulled her closer and grazed her tongue with mine, the soft moan she gave in response reminding me of the much louder ones she made while we fooled around the other day.

Before we had sex the first time, we hadn't really fooled around. Nothing further than second base; a couple of times she let me quickly feel her up behind the gym and on my last birthday we dry humped. All of this meant that when we went all the way it didn't matter that I had a bit of experience, it was still sort of awkward because I didn't really know what she liked, hell, I hadn't even known what she looked like completely naked. This is why I was honestly more than okay with us not jumping back into bed right away, I loved exploring her body, and finding out every single sound she makes when she is lost is her own pleasure. Besides, things had been kind of strained between us so I don't want to risk making them worse.

Thinking about that certainly had an effect on me and when Bella felt it against her tummy she pressed the entire length of her body against me, placing both hands on the back of my head, kissing me harder.

"Making out against the lockers, so cliché, so tacky." I groaned, and definitely not in the good way.

"What do you want, Alice?" Bella asked, trying to pull away from me but I held her tight by the hips; if she stepped away everyone would be able to see exactly how bad my girl affected me. Alice realized why I did it though, and looked at me salaciously after glancing at my, uhm, nether regions.

_What the hell?_

"I am on my way to class, Bella, coming?" She said, glancing back at her with a smile that was a little too fake, in my opinion.

"We don't have class together right now, Alice." Bella was clearly annoyed at her best friend. _God, how I miss the days Rosalie was her best friend._

"I know." Alice's tone was curt, her eyes widening as she spoke, as if expecting Bella to just follow after her.  
"Then?" _Oh, this is not good_. Bella wrapped her arms around my waist making a show of running her hands up my back until she was holding onto my shoulders, her cheek against my chest. That could only meant she realized Alice had just been leering at me.

Fuck me.

"Fine!" Alice stormed off, her high heels clacking as she went. Seriously, heels at school? _I'm so glad I am a guy._

"Baby?" I asked, willing her to tell me what the hell had just happened since I didn't have a clue. All I managed was for her to throw a mini tantrum in my arms; she stomped her feet a couple of times, fisted my shirt and let out a muffled scream against my chest. I tightened my hold around her waist and kissed her temple, completely at a loss of what to do.

"Did you see the way she was looking at you?" She looked up at me, her eyes a bit watery.

"I only see you, Bella." I had no idea where that came from but it was apparently the right thing to say since she relaxed into me, took a deep breath and started talking again.

"I love you." My heart completely stopped and every single muscle in my body tensed. "I love you so much." Being absolutely honest, I had already given up about her telling me she loved me again, I mean, I had said it a million times and not once had she said it back. A slow smile crept onto my lips.

"Me, too, Sweetheart." No, that didn't felt right, not enough. I had to say the actual words. "I love you so fucking much, Isabella Swan."

* * *

**Oh-kay. I know I failed at trying not to be a failure about updating but here it is, just for you guys, a brand new chapter. I know, I know, it is a short one but I was thinking that maybe by posting shorter chapters I will be able to post more often since there are more chances for me to squeeze in a bit of time to write around 1k words than 5k, and less chances for whatever I have managed to write to get lost in the mess that is my computer. **

**AND, if all these fails, feel free to hit me up requesting the following chapter. Of course not just a few hours after I have posted but yeah... Seriously. **

**Last but not least, a massive thank you to one of you, that recommended A&R a couple of months ago, a few days ago I stumbled upon it and, God do I wish I could find the link or remember the exact name to thank you properly. Seriously, thank you so much.**

**And thank you guys, for reading and not giving up on this story,**

**Ghs **


	40. Chapter 40

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all. :)**

* * *

**Action & Reactions**

**Chapter 39**

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**EPOV**

Once, I read that the next world war was going to be over water. Boy, they were wrong. World War III was going to begin with a fight between best friends that went too far and, if I was being honest, I wouldn't be surprised if it was my girl the one to shoot first.

Bella knew she was some sort of Queen B in Forks High, she has never liked it but she knew it, and would not doubt to take advantage of this when she would think she really needed it.

Like today.

During Lunch period, we were sitting at our usual table, with the usual people, in our usual spots. I had completely outgrown the whole high school hierarchy thing, but with only a little over two months of classes it would be sort of stupid to alienate myself completely from my friends. Bella, however, did enjoy sitting with them, she wasn't a cynic like me, she was sure that if something big happened to her, most of the people on this table would be right by her side. I wasn't so sure but, like I said, only two more months of these.

Bella was sitting beside me, so close that we might as well have been sharing my chair. I didn't mind her closeness one bit, what bothered me though, was the reason behind it. After Alice eye-fucked the hell out of me, Bella had been so clingy. I had a feeling that it was because she thought I might cheat again, but this is what I get for having done it in the first place.

So, back to World War III, Alice approached our table as usual, but as she was about to put down her tray on the table Bella turned to her and spoke.

"What do you think you are doing?" All conversation stopped around the table, but it sure as hell felt like the entire cafeteria grew silent just to hear this. I looked at Bella, not sure if it was my sweet little girl that had spoken with such coldness that I felt it in my bones.

"Uhm, what do you mean, B?" She smiled nervously, looking around the table, her face growing redder by the second.

"Bella. Only my boyfriend and closest friends call me B, Alice." Bella took her fork again and took a bite from her food, before turning to a frozen Alice. "You are welcome to leave."

"Bella!" Alice screeched, just like she did yesterday, when she was trying to boss my girl around.

"What? You know as well as I do that this table is reserved for the Cheer and Football Team, or in some cases, boyfriends and girlfriends." Alice looked at me as if I was going to go against Bella. Then she glanced at Jasper, begging him with her eyes to stand up for her, I could see the indecision in his eyes until Alice moved her gaze to Tyler, but he was too busy whispering into Victoria's ear.  
Tyler, huh?

"Now, Alice." I swear I couldn't recognize Bella right then but was to confused to even try to say something. Alice's eyes were watery but they suddenly became cold and evil as she leaned over and spoke directly to Bella.

"You are going to regret this, Bella."

My girl, not one to not have the last word, uttered one last thing.

"Shoo."

* * *

"Baby, stop." I said with no conviction at all, Bella's nails running down my back doing things to me that not even her mouth on my neck were able to.

"Why?" She pushed my chest, rolling us over, finally settling with her legs astride mine. My hands went to her legs as she leaned over me, kissing my chest.

"Because there is something we need to talk about."

"Not talking. I don't want to talk." She started unbuttoning my shirt, her mouth finding new territory as she went.

"Baby..." No wonder I could not get her to stop, that sounded more like a moan than a reprimand.

But, God, her mouth feels so good.

"Okay. Stop." I rolled us over, and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, and we will definitely continue with this later but right now we have to talk."

"I don't wanna talk about Alice, Edward." Only then did it occur to me that perhaps we should talk about that whole thing but, if I was being completely honest, I was glad Bella had cut her off. Not only because it meant more alone time but because she truly was a toxic person.

"This isn't about Alice, Bella. We need to talk about college."

"Oh," Her eyes widened and she bit her lip. "I- I didn't apply to Miami, Edward." She spoke as if she had committed the worst crime possible, by not applying to the college that had once been my dream. "It's just that, after the whole thing with Tanya, I was so upset and being in the same city as you wasn't exactly appealing."

"Baby," I kissed her lips softly, trying to calm her down; she looked close to crying. "It's okay, I didn't apply to Miami either."

"What?"

"Yes," I swallowed hard before continuing. "The only reason I wanted to go so far away was just that, distance. I wanted to distance myself from the mess I had made here. I want you to remember that the last time we talked about it wad right after the summer and I already didn't want to go."

She pushed me off of her, sitting down as I kneeled in front of her. "That was why you were so adamant that I didn't follow you, you were trying to get away from me." The hurt in her eyes was too much for me to handle. Too much.

"Sweetheart, that was years ago. I want to be with you now. That is why we are even having this conversation at all, I want to know where you have applied and what are your top choices so I can follow you around."

"But-" With my fingers under her chin, I lifted her face so she was looking at me while we talked.

"No, no buts. You shouldn't have to give up your dreams because of me. I don't want you to end up resenting me."

"What about your dreams, Edward?" I smiled and pressed my forehead against hers.

"You are my dream, Bella. You are my dream come true. I don't want to spend the next four years without being able to see you everyday, long distance works for lots of people but not me. I need you near me to feel complete." Overcome with feelings, I closed the distance between us and gave her a kiss so full of love and passion that I could feel it in my soul.

"Boston." She mumbled against my lips. "BU."

I freaked for a second, because I didn't apply to any college in Boston. What was wrong with me? Boston is a great city with lots of universities to choose from. What was wrong with me!?

Then, I remembered that in the pile of envelopes I had taken from my dad's office there were several envelope with Massachusetts as their return address.

"Boston it is, then."

* * *

"Hey," I was in the library, finishing some homework as I waited for Bella's practice to come to an end so we could go home. I turned around only to come face to face with my own personal Nemesis.

"What do you want, Alice?" She took the liberty of sitting right across from me. Uninvited. Cool.

"What is wrong with Bella? Why is she acting that way with me?"

"Listen, I am not going to get in the middle of this. Bella and I haven't spoken about you."

"What do you mean you haven't spoken about me?" She sneered at me.  
"Are you for real? You are not the center of the world, especially our world, Alice." I ran a hand through my hair, her eyes burning holes through me. "Look, I really appreciate that you were there for her when...well, You know when, but I think you took advantage of her, of how vulnerable she was feeling, to worm your way in. I also think that now that you have no control over her anymore, you are starting to show your true colors."

"This is all your fault, Edward!" She slammed her hand against the table. "Everything was fucking perfect until you came around. You fucking played Bella into taking your cheating ass back, and as if that was not enough, for your fault Jazz hates me. You are the one showing your true colors. To me."

"Okay, Biers. I just want to remind you that I have been in the picture for years, you have know Bella for less than a year, you are the one that got in the middle, bringing your brother along. What is wrong with you? Why are you so obsessed with Bella? Are you in love with her, or what? Because if that is the case then you have no right being upset about Jasper, who, by the way, probably hates you because you are a slut. You do know Tyler is his cousin, right?"

"How dare you!?" She leaned over the table, her eyes having become little slits and her mouth twisted into an expression I was honestly a little afraid of. "You will pay for this, Edward. I promise you." I swear, she looked like an animal in that moment.

"Alice, there is like two months left of classes, do yourself a favor and just calm down. You will get new friends and lots of new boyfriends once in college. Don't mind all this drama. It is not worth it."

As I walked out of the library, I decided not to tell Bella about this.

I should have.


End file.
